Monday, May 12, 2008

A letter to Karyn

***Update 3****
Oh for the love of GOD!! Now look who wants in on the action...

I haf a flufffy belly too. I like long waulks and snuggle times. But furst I must sniff your bottom. I think I LUV you.

***Update 2***
I asked Chumley if he was calm enough to respond to Bev's post and as he sat down to type he began tugging on his taliwacker (thank you to a reader-in the UK???-for introducing me to that word). It's obvious this is going to take some time and perhaps more therapy before he is able to get a grip on things. He did settle himself enough to ask me to post a pic of one of his first dates with Bev. He prepared quite a spread (all by himself) of Ukranian Bread, Irish Cheese (Bev's favorite) and a 2005 Mondavi White. Here he is making sure the bread isn't too warm. He didn't want to burn Bev's little tongue...

He asked that I keep the photos of the date private and I will respect his wishes. Especially since Bev tends to get a little crazy after a cat bowl of wine. I came home to find her collar hanging from the chandelier. But here she is after a full belly of bread and cheese...

Cute little thing is quite the piggy when she eats! She had cheese all over her face and I caught her in mid lick. OMG. I hope that was cheese on her face. Now you can see why this is getting out of hand and needs to be stopped.


A response. As you can imagine Chum's really worked up over this so I'm going to let him cool off for a while before he sends his reply. Right now he's huffin' and puffin' walking in circles and every other word is "G-dammit" or "that hussy".

Oh great, now he's heading for his humpy bear.


It's happening again. Beverly is sending obscene emails to Chumley late at night, obviously when you're asleep (or otherwise pre-occupied). It's been going on for a few weeks and I wasn't going to say anything but now she's getting fresh and it's not good for Chumley considering he's still a recovering sex addict. She's toying with his emotions and you need to intervene.

Here are the last 2 she sent:

to: Chumley
from: Beverly
date: May 7, 2008 2:34am
Hello Hot Stuff,
Spring is here and I'm ready for some fun in the sun. Look at how sexy I am in my yellow bikini. I know you'd like to see what's underneath wouldn't you??? I have six nipples.

(and this is the one that sent him into a bear humping frenzy)

to: Chumley
from: Beverly
date: May 10, 2008 4:47am
Hello Sex Kitten,
I just had a bath and am squeaky clean but I'm still a dirty girl if you know what I mean. How 'bout you come over and pull my tail?? But be warned sometimes that makes me poo.
I'm waiting...

As you can see this is getting out of hand. Please let me know how you're going to handle this.



TTQ said...

that was great! Bev is a bad bad girl. She can help it she's a recovering sex addict! Get her to a meeting ASAP.

Anonymous said...

LOL! She's such a ho! I thought she and Wrigley were an item?

karengberger said...

Beverly looks like a little handful. Hm. Maybe Chumley needs a SPAMBLOCKER, so you can label her lovenotes SPAM, and help Chums out. Bev does seem a bit skanky, and if he's in recovery...

Smileygirl said...

OMG I love it! Bev's been referred to as a "bad bad girl" a "ho" and "skanky".

It's funny because Karyn makes her out to be all sweet and innocent but we all know that's not the case.

Karyn said...

This is blasphemy. Beverly didn't send those emails.

Click here to read her/my response.

Anonymous said...

I think that Bev is a filthy whore. Just like her mother....

amanda said...

Oh my, Chumley- Love the belly! Princess Piglet was admiring the photo as well...

KBL 2 ORD 2 SAN said...

Hands off Wrigs and Chums...don't you know Bev is spoken for!? Achilles likes 'em young and nubile. Have some respect for your elders boys!

Anonymous said...

I better not let my new puppy know about you guys or he might want in on the action, and he is too young and innocent for such vulgarities!!


Karyn said...

Oh my... Achilles is a big boy, too.