Saturday, June 30, 2007

How much is that doggie in the garage?

This afternoon Wrigley and I took a short walk around the neighborhood. We stumbled upon a garage sale down the street so of course he wanted to stop in and take a look. Wrigs was very good (i.e. he didn't pick up anything and run like a bat outta hell with it) but when people would greet him he'd wag his tail so hard that he almost knocked over a few lower placed items. He found a cool spot in the garage to lay down (frog legged of course) and was smothered with hugs and kisses from one of the boys who lived there. I left the two of them loving on each other and putzed around to the other side of the garage. There were a few other people milling about and when they saw Wrigley instantly they gushed over him. Then one older woman says, "Oh is he for sale?" I thought that was cute because he just sort of plopped himself right into the middle of the garage so he did in fact look like an item on display. The family hosting the sale said, "No, he's not our dog, just a customer." And then the woman replies, "But he's got a $20 sticker on his tail." I headed over to see what she meant and there stuck to the side of Wrigley's fuzzy tail was a $20 price tag. I tried to pull it off but he kept wagging it non-stop so I just left it on. And now it's a few hours later and it's still there.

I took this with my camera phone so it's not very clear...

Friday, June 29, 2007

Move over, Paris

I missed Jury Duty. I was supposed to show up this past Monday the 25th but completely forgot. And I wrote it down, on 2 calendars but didn't program it in the calendar in my phone. So today I receieve a notice in the mail that says I could be summoned for further legal action. Great, now I'm a fugitive. Could I be sent to the big house for this?

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Happy Husband

Tom is playing in a Pro-Am golf tournament in Monaco this week. He called a few minutes ago to say that he had just returned from a jog along the beach in Nice, France (which happens to be clothing optional.)
Our conversation went like this:

me: "So, did you see any nudies on your jog?"

Tom: "Yeah I sure did."

me: "Really?"

Tom: "Yep, I saw a boob."

me: "A boob? Just one?"

Tom: "No, two boobs, one person."

Golf, good food, boobs...what more could he possibly ask for!?!?

Monday, June 25, 2007

not my fault

Again the earthquake buzz is hot here in S. Cal. It comes in waves but if there's no other earth shattering news to speak of (aside from Paris Hilton's release from the clink) it ultimately circles back to The Big One. I usually just turn the channel when the newscasters start their exaggerated "predictions" (each one trying to freak out the other on when it's going to hit and the magnitude of the disaster) because I used to go into panic mode - making sure our survival kit is up to date, pictures of us and the pets are current and replenishing the water and canned goods supply in the garage. So today I'm driving and I tune the radio dial to Jack FM. Often times they have a pretty good mix of music (for short drives, otherwise it's got to be Satellite radio) and their slogan is "Playing What We Want". So today the DJ intros the next song and says, "Jack FM, the only station in Southern California playing what we want, until... the San Andreas kills us all!" (then he pauses and says) "Oh F*ck". (the last part, obviously bleeped.)

Way to leave your listeners that warm, fuzzy feeling Mr. Jack ASS!

Speaking of the San Andreas, Natalie Merchant has a great song off her TigerLily album called San Andreas Fault, about life and dreams in California crushed by an earthquake. It's believed that this song was written after the 1994 Northridge quake (pic above) that killed over 60 people and injured 1600. It's such a pretty song. I wish I knew how to link mp3's on the blog. Peter??? Any suggestions?

Until then here are just some of the lyrics:

San Andreas Fault
Moved its fingers
Through the ground
Earth divided
Plates collided
Such an awful sound

San Andreas Fault
Moved its fingers
Through the ground
Terra cotta shattered
And the walls came
Tumbling down

O, promised land
O, wicked ground
Build a dream
Tear it down

O, promised land
What a wicked ground
Build a dream
Watch it all fall down

Sunday, June 24, 2007

a problem

I have a bit of a problem. I wasn't sure if I should post this on here or not, but maybe there are others out there suffering from a similar condition and we can band together to help each other. My problem goes something like this...

For as long as I can remember, when I'm in a social type setting with friends, and I happen to see an empty space along a wall, I have a sudden uncontrollable urge to...

Do a hand stand.

Doesn't matter where I'm at. Could be at a Polish dive bar in Chicago...

Or in the lobby of a fancy hotel...

Or at a swanky Hollywood nightclub...(this pic will not rotate!)

Or in the comfort of my home!

Or en route to a fancy dinner...

Or on a pub crawl with friends...(not sure what is up with these photos, blogger refuses to rotate them!)

These hand stands are not drug or alcohol induced. They just happen out of the blue and can strike without much warning. And yes, I've attempted a few sloppy handstands after an adult beverage or two and lucky for me they were never caught on film. My last attempt was not so gracefully executed as my wrists gave out during the leg kick which resulted in a painful fall into a curtain of sharp glass beads. I was wearing a backless shirt and still have the scars to prove it.

Sometimes when I'm feeling really good I'll go the extra mile and perform a one handed stand. But I'm sad to say these are slowly becoming a thing of the past. Tom now says my Mary Lou Retton days are over. But the funny part is, he's always the one snapping the photos!!!

Here's one for old time's sake...

my folks

Ok this scanner is pretty darn cool and so far it's working well! Here's an old photo, taken back in the late 50's of my mom and dad. They're both sipping Manhattans poolside, and my mom even has a cigarette in hand. How come my mom's dress from 50 years ago is more in fashion today than the one I wore in my 11 year old photo below?!?

Fun with the scanner

I'm testing out our new scanner and here's a test photo that was taken over 11 years ago on one of our first official dates at the Art Institute of Chicago. Apparently floral dresses and neck ties were a hit back then.

Bad tummy

I am writing this to say that I think I just ate some bad chicken. I'm using my journal as documentation since there is a date and time stamp so I can refer back in case this is necessary, (for what reason, I'm not so sure since I was the chef) but that is the purpose for this post. Problem number one is that I defrosted the chicken in the sink not in the refrigerator. I guess that is a big no no and I should have gone with my gut and tossed out the chicken before I started to cook but I was hungry and didn't want to wait to defrost something else. I made sure to cook it thoroughly and thought I'd test one piece before I chopped it up to put it in a salad. I ended up eating the whole piece (it was a breast tender, not a whole breast, roughly about the size of your standard i-pod, not the mini) and I should have stopped after the first bite. I couldn't tell what exactly was wrong with it so I kept taking more bites. By the last bite (which I ended up spitting out in the sink) I knew something was definitely not right with this chicken. It had an old taste, like it had been sitting out under a heat lamp for a day or two. And the consistency was very crumbly it would break apart in weird places, (not like string cheese) it was almost like rubbery clumps that would easily fall apart. But stupid ass me kept eating it!

So now even as I'm sitting here typing this very sentence my stomach is rumbling. It is also making some rather unusual noises. I imagine in no time flat I'll be face first over the shitter projectile vomiting rancid chicken bits til I crap my pants. At least there is one bright spot: I didn't serve any of this to Tom. He and his best buddy Gary are fishing on the lake and won't be home for an hour or so. They usually just catch and release the fish but I may try and catch him on his cell phone and tell him if he wants to eat tonight, hang onto a fish or two.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Does your garden grow?

Let's hope so!

I just planted a garden this afternoon. This is only my second attempt at this hobby so we'll see how this goes. My first attempt was in Minnesota and that didn't produce any produce. I'm sure the negative temps in October through May didn't help much either. But this time, Mother Nature's on our side.

We've got 4 tomato plants (Early Girl and Better Boy, those names crack me up!) 3 kinds of peppers (chili, banana and I forget the other kind) and then I sectioned off a little area for some herbs (sweet and Italian basil and lime mint.) I'm still working on the feng shui-ness of the garden but for now this will have to do. In time I'll pick up a few gnomes and add more veggies as we go along. We still have a lot more space to fill but I wanted to start slow with just a few trial veggies. We're also thinking about planting some grape vines along the back wall to cover up the bricks, however that will attract a Hitchcockesque amount of birds and since this wall butts up against Tom's putting green we have to consider the mess that could follow. So we'll see. Baby steps.

The herb garden, which must be pronounced Herb, like the name. The "h" is not silent in my garden.

Tom's busy working at the other end of the yard planting trees. Our neighbor came by from across the way and asked, "Will it ever end?" I think he meant that in a nice way. At least I hope he did.

A struggling bug

Outside on our back patio there is a giant black beetle bug on it's back, trying to simulate the bicycle motion with all 6 legs. He has several tufts of Wrigley's fur tangled between a few of the legs and it's sooo sad to watch him struggle. Tom's on the golf course (actual course he belongs to, not our putting green) so I called to let him know that he needs to come home straight away so we can perform a fur retraction procedure on this beetle bug. He didn't seemed thrilled with the notion of having to take part in beetle surgery but we need to help this poor guy. It's so sad to watch him suffer. I would try to do it myself but I need Tom there for moral support. He should be home in an hour so until then I covered up the bug with some cardboard to shade him from the hot sun and I'm keeping Wrigley indoors.

Bug is barely alive, I need to perform procedure right now. I just came back into the house to get some tweezers and... I have no clue what else??? Towels? Maybe just a wash cloth. And some Bactine?? No that might kill him. Also, I need to use something to hold him down while I pull out the tangled fur. Maybe just the eraser side of a pencil would work. I want something soft so I don't accidentally stab through him. Ok I need to gather my tools and head out STAT!

Surgery was a success!!! I'm so thrilled! Although not as easy as they make it look on shows like ER and Grey's Anatomy. The beetle was barely moving when I got out there but I was able to gently hold the back part of him down with the pencil eraser so I could pull out the clump of fur without lifting him up along with it. It took a few tries and he almost lost a leg in the ordeal (but that would probably be ok, he has 5 more) because the fur was completely wrapped around it like a spool of twine. But now he's back to crawling around! I didn't take any before pics or video because I didn't get my camera until after the procedure was finished since I didn't have a second to waste. But here is part of the wad of fur that was removed...

And here is some video of his recovery...
(post surgery hydration and removing another piece of fur, also noticing a little bit of wing damage)

(one last final bit of fur removed. he's on the road to recovery)

I'm going to keep an eye on him and see if he needs any follow up procedures. I'm hoping a few rounds of physical therapy might do the trick on that wing.

Tom and I headed out to check on the little patient and he was flying (although a bit unsteady) around the flowers! He started buzzing towards me so I screamed and ran towards the house and Tom's like, "What the heck are you afraid of? 10 minutes ago you were close to giving the damn thing mouth to mouth and NOW you're scared??? He's right. I think this was a huge breakthrough for all of us.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Prayers Needed

Please pray for sweet baby Lexie and her family.

  • Lexie
  • Monday, June 18, 2007

    From Princes to Poop

    God I love surfing the net!
    Enjoy this interesting slideshow on The Toilet.

    Two Princes

    We just finished watching Matt Lauer interview P. William and P. Harry and it was mesmerizing, in many ways. Their mother did an amazing job of bringing up these two fine young gentlemen. I believe she continues to watch over her sons and guide them in spirit. While it's important to respect their privacy and individuality, I think we're all anxious to see what the future holds for these two. No matter what, they'll continue to make their mother proud.

    Such a cool photo..

    Still alive and well.

    Ok, alive, yes, the well part is questionable. By 11:30pm the printer was working. I am still a bit leery but we've managed to print about 25 photos and not had the exact same issues we had before. It still does this weird sort of jiggly dance thing after printing several photos in a row but for now I can live with that as long as we are able to print. I'm sure by Thursday it will royally piss me off and I'll be screaming at Tom to address that problem. Tom had to reinstall the software from the internet because apparently other people have had similar problems using the discs provided (with Macs.) We learned this through one of many trouble shooting message boards and I thank GOD for the world wide web. How did we manage to live without it for so many centuries??? I found comfort knowing that people in Bangladesh were having similar issues with their printer and were one blinking red light away from smashing their Hookah pipes into theirs. Now I am on a mission to purge all the nonsense crap we keep on our big home office computer and my lap top. So far I've already transferred over 1,000 photos from my lap top to CDs but when I try to do that with our main computer the CD spits right out of the input tray. Since my patience level was maxed out beyond the limits yesterday, I'll save that project for another day. Definitely a day when I'm not pmsing.

    In the meantime I've found this stress reduction therapy works very well. And ironically, this was one of the first things we were able to print..

    Oh and I almost forgot. I had a dream last night that we returned this printer for another one that was the size of a station wagon that we had to keep in the garage. There were gigantic gray cords zig zagging all around the house that we kept tripping over and we had to keep the garage door propped open because the cords were so thick the door wouldn't close. I was a nervous wreck because I was afraid that Chumley would get out and I kept asking Tom if we could PLEASE find something smaller and perhaps keep it in the house. He bellowed something like, "This is the last printer we will ever OWN!!!" and it was in a deep Darth Vader type voice which is so unlike his usual demeanor. I woke up actually appreciating the one we have now! Quite a change from where I was 9 hours before.

    I do apologize for my outbursts of anger yesterday. But if you could have witnessed the scene first hand (which lasted from 4:00 til almost midnight!) you would have understood why I was Googling the CEO of Hewlett Packard for a home address so I could send him a horse's head to sleep next to at night. Ok maybe that's a little extreme but I did intend to anonymously mail him tiny piece after tiny piece of what used to be our old printer in hopes that he would attempt to make their printers more MAC compatible. I even drafted a letter which I'm saving (along with pieces of the printer) just in case.

    Sunday, June 17, 2007

    It's now 9:37...

    and Tom just screamed at me to "GET THE F*CK OUTTA HERE" while he tries again to re-install the printer software and try to get this piece of shit printer to work. Does he really think I will even use this printer after it's taken over 5 HOURS to figure out how to print??? Uh, no. I'm so over this. I'll just get a VIP card at Kinkos and take all my printing needs there.

    3 hours later since my last post...

    and we were able to get ONE photo to print. I've now been trying to print a second photo (since Tom needed a break) and the thing keeps seizing up every time. This WILL be the death of me.


    At least with Macintosh computers, they do. After days of deliberating my husband and I finally agreed on this one by HP, it's an all in one, copier, printer, scanner and Tom has been hooking it up for almost an hour now and the damn thing keeps flashing PAPER JAM even though there's no flippin' paper in the thing to begin with! I am soooo ready to take a sledge hammer to this one right now! Tom has asked that I leave the room while he tries to figure out what the f*ck is wrong with this one but I am sooo mad at myself because our other piece of crap printer was an HP as well and I vowed never to get another one! But it matched our computer (color scheme wise) and had a more sleek design than the Epsoms and Cannons that were twice the size and dark gray monstrosities. I've already left my review on HP's website but the computer generated response kept kicking it out because of offensive language. Whatever. I found some ways around that (like using zeros (0's) instead of alpha (O's) for the word P00 and an uncapitalized "L" looks like an l for the word SHlT.) We'll see if it ever posts. Until then, I need one of these...

    The Hungry Hippo

    Wrigs and I headed out for our morning walk around the lake and decided to make a pit stop at the coffee shop for a little caffeine pick me up. The place was swamped, the line was out the door and all the outside tables were cramped and filled with people and pets so I thought we'd come back another time. The place is usually crowded on the weekends but then I realized it was Father's Day (shouldn't I be sad about this?) so there was an abundance of Dad's sitting at the tables with their hyperactive children while their wives stood in line to order and treat their husbands to an annual breakfast. The tables were packed so closely together that I didn't think I was going to be able to fit through them with Wrigley. We started to turn the other way when this lady starts clapping and in a sing songy type voice says, "Ohhhh!! Puppy! Puppy! I want to see the puppy!" I turn around and she's looking right at Wrigley, still clapping her hands, and I say, "You mean this guy?" (who's pushing about 90 lbs and is hardly ever mistaken for a puppy.)

    So Wrigs and I sort of snake our way between the tables to head over to this overly excited puppy lover. Another family stops us en route and 2 of their kids (probably preschool aged) start hugging his neck and patting his head. He loves the attention and is behaving so well, not jumping up or knocking anyone down, so I tell him he's a good boy. They have another little one in a stroller that is probably 1 maybe?? It didn't have much hair and I honestly couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, but this baby person was eating cheerios and chopped up bananas on a tray attached to the stroller that was just about at Wrigley's eye level. Or should I say mouth level because just as we were about to leave he licked up a few cheerios right off the baby's tray. I scolded him and apologized profusely and the family couldn't have been nicer and said "Oh that's ok, we have a Lab at home that does it all the time." By now the 1 year old is cackling and shoving a baby sized fist of smushed bananas into Wrigley's mouth. I wanted to say "He/she is so cute!" But I didn't, instead I just sort of giggled along with them and then pulled Wrigley away. Note to parents: If you have a child who looks unisex, can you please not dress them in green?

    We finally make it over to the clapping woman and she just lavishes Wrigley with hugs and kisses. She is letting him lick her face and I'm silently cringing because I can see some chunks of banana goop stuck to the back of his lips. She asks what his name is and when I tell her she says, "Wrrriiiigleeeeey!!!" in a very drawn out high pitched voice which sends him over the edge with excitement. Once anyone says his name he can't control himself and starts to wag and wiggle his entire body. She continues to say his name and then he jumps up and puts his paws on her shoulders and smothers her with more kisses. The woman was probably one of the biggest animal lovers I've ever seen because she is hugging him and telling him that she loves him and they are both sharing a special moment.

    I pull Wrigley off this kind woman and tell him that we've got to say goodbye and she reaches down for one last hug and he instantly turns his head towards the table and swipes a piece of toast right off her plate. It's gone in 2 chomps. Again I'm apologizing and the family with the 3 kids are watching and snickering. The woman was also very kind and said that she was done eating anyway so it was no big deal. We say our goodbyes and once we make it through the maze of tables, an older man, probably in his mid 80's says, "He sure is hungry!" So apparently he witnessed Wrigley's eating frenzy from afar. Gotta love the animal lovers!

    Saturday, June 16, 2007

    Speaking of spiders...

    One of my dear friends, Deb, who came to me as a gift from God through Wrigley (a few of you know the story) shares my fear of creepy crustracean-like spiders, (nothing like my sweet spider friend in our toilet closet.) Last summer we had record heat and the night time spiders were out in full force. We had one hanging on a web on our orange tree that still to this day makes my teeth chatter. I had to snap a picture of it to show my friend because this one was the Motherload of all spiders. So one evening when I was feeling rather brave (or after I plowed through a bottle of wine, whichever came first) I ventured outside armed with my camera. Not a good idea. The flash scared the crap outta this guy and he sort of popped off his web for a second and I thought he was jumping out at me. Of course I screamed, dogs barked, Tom yelled, I dropped the camera. You get the idea. But behold, the photo. Luckily it came out because I sure as heck was not about to take another.

    This arachnid was soooo hairy and turtle-shelled that it looked as if a crab from the ocean had found it's way inland to our orange tree. Last year Wrigs was just a wee puppy so every night we would walk him back to the side of the house for potty (where these monsters hung from the trees) and we'd have to karate chop our way through the webs, making sure these bastards didn't land on our heads. But more often than not I would scream bloody murder, because I would see a big blur out of the corner of my eye just before I was about to walk face first into the beast. Then I just decided to cover myself under Tom's golf umbrella.

    So I shared this picture with Deb and she tells me that she has a similar situation at her house. A big black bumble bee type spider had settled nicely into this zipper like web in her backyard. She was keeping a close eye on this guy to make sure he kept his distance from her and the house. From what I remember I think it was on a dare that she decided to go out and snap the photo. She told me that her hands were shaking when she took the picture but at least she was smart enough to take it in the daylight without the flash. And here was her nightmare...

    It could be worse. We could have these guys...

    This is an incredible video to watch. It makes you realize that even the creepy crawlies are still God's creation and serve a purpose in this world. Nature rocks.

    Life's little things...

    Everyone and everything has survival instincts and a strong will to live. I witnessed 2 instances of this today, actually within moments of each other, right here in my very own home.

    The first example is of a spider that has found his home in our master bathroom toilet closet. I call it that because that's literally what it is, a closet with a toilet in it. For about 2 weeks now this spider has lived in the corner of the t.c. hanging from a low lying web. He has not budged, apparently he's able to trap other insects into his web in order to survive. (Gosh, maybe it's time to call an exterminator??) He has grown about twice in size since I first saw him. My first instinct was to call for Tom to come and escort him outside but he looked so comfortable there (the spider, not Tom), and appeared non threatening nor was he grotesque (again talking about the spider.) His body is about the size of a cooked piece of rice and legs a bit thicker than one strand of dog fur so we decided to let him be.

    I even say "Hello" to him throughout the day when I use the facility he occupies. Surprisingly, he doesn't appear to be threatened by my presence either. So this morning when I'm vacuuming the master bath I open the door to the toilet closet. The vacuum is buzzing, (it's one of those portable ones with a long extended hose) and I'm not even 3 feet from the spider and he starts FREAKING out. Both his body and web are violently pulsating and he's trying to scramble up to the top of the web but he's shaking so much that he's not really getting anywhere. He stops for a second (I assume to take a breath) and then frantically starts trying to climb up the web, only to end up in the exact same spot. I quickly shut off the vacuum, he calms down a bit and I tell him "Don't worry little guy, I won't hurt you." What amazes me was his strong will and determination to survive just like humans and animals. Here, this itsy bitsy spider that has a brain probably the size of what? A pea? No that doesn't fit in this scenario that would make him a GENIUS spider, but come to think of it do spiders even have brains? Thank God for google, you know what I'll be doing later...but here is this teeny tiny spider (with our without a brain) with the same core instincts as the rest of us. I decided not to vacuum the toilet closet for fear of giving the spider a heart attack, that is, if he has a heart.

    Onto another one of nature's miracles...

    My kitchen plants...They sit atop the counter in the window by the sink and bask in the rays of sunshine. Well this one little plant wasn't doing so well. Tom picked him out at Lowe's a couple months ago and I thought he might be on his last leaf. I usually water the plants on Tuesdays (just once a week) but today I thought that this little guy needed some extra hydration. Out comes the watering can and he gets quite a soaking. I don't think much of it and decide to go on about the day and then an hour or so later I return to the kitchen and gasp in amazement. Here is the plant that just moments before was wilting away to nothing...

    I really wish I would have taken a before picture but I had no idea this guy would become the topic of a blog post. His flowers that were once shriveled up and dark brownish green are now vibrant and bright purple. And in this picture it looks like the flowers are craning their necks straight up to the sky, so proud to be alive. Again, another testament to nature's survival instincts.

    Or maybe I'm reading into this too much and just need to water my plants more often.

    Norman Bates has nothin' on Chumley

    Chumley doesn't like when I'm about to take a shower, probably because it means I'll be leaving the house soon. Sometimes he's extremely upset and will come at me like a flying squirrel, cling onto my legs while taking out chunks of leg meat. Other times he's only slightly annoyed and screams at me while getting in a few swats and lunges. I would love to share the footage of his violent attacks but I need both hands to protect myself. Here he is the other morning, while I'm brushing my teeth about to get in the shower, just waiting for the water to get warm. (Again this is camera phone footage so it's poor quality and only lasts a few seconds.)

  • Psycho Kitty
  • Tom and another Blond

    Just a typical day, driving from one errand to the next, when all of the sudden I think I spot my husband's car up ahead.
    I speed up to get closer and realize, Yep that's definitely him. But wait a second...I don't think he's alone. It looks like he's got some blond in the car with him!
    So I high tail it up alongside him and by golly I was right! He and this gorgeous blond are toolin' around town together. Look at the two of them - smiling and laughing, having a ball.
    Well...two can play at this game. "Chumley?? Want to go for a ride?"

    Thursday, June 14, 2007

    Why is it that...

    only when you are running EXTREMELY late whether it be for an interview, dr. appt or some other time sensitive engagement, the button holding your pants together decides to pop off? I need to invest in some stylish elastic waistband trousers. Once I find them I'll be sure and blog about it.

    Beauty Bargain Buy of the Week

    Pure Silk Moisturizing Shave Cream for Women - Coconut and Oat Flour.

    This stuff is the BOMB! I found it at Target for just a couple bucks when I was on the hunt for some new shaving cream. This is made with aloe so it's great for sensitive skin but what makes this cream so amazing is the subtle scent of coconut. It smells soooo good I just want to use it on every body part (not just the ones I shave!) I'm now trying to find a shower gel with the same scent. I've never been a huge fan of coconut before but there is something so inviting about this cream that you just want to smell it on your skin all day long. It's a perfect scent for summertime, very light with just a hint of the C'nut. Almost like you cut open a coconut in your kitchen and then walked into your family room and just let the scent make it's way over to you. And it lathers up great, a little goes a long way. So if anyone is looking for a cheap summertime pick me up, this is the one to try! And may I suggest pairing it with this.

    Tuesday, June 12, 2007

    Total Printer Meltdown

    This was me just a couple hours ago. My piece of crap printer was giving me nothing but trouble as it always does and I just couldn't take it anymore. This guy in the photo appears to be using a sledgehammer to fix his printer trouble, but I opted for a simple household hammer. It worked just as well and I feel sooo much better! Our shit for brains printer would drive both Tom and I crazy and something as simple as printing boarding passes for a flight could take up to an hour of fiddling to get one stupid page to print. But not anymore. I'm tempted to take what's left of this printer out to the middle of an open field and whack away with a baseball bat. It worked for these fellas....

    Once Upon a Putting Green

    This was our hillside riddled with rats and slimy critters who found solace amongst the ivy. Time to go!

    Hillside gone, now it's time for a retaining wall. This is the end result. I spared all of you the nightmare that was the side yard (in shambles for many weeks) before the wall went up. I'd rather not go there.

    I didn't capture the sandblasting that took place before the putting green turf was put down. It was too noisy and too dusty so I passed on taking pics. But here is the result after the turf had been laid (or is it layed?) Anyhoo, we had to spread 6 bags (weighing 100 lbs each) of fine sand on top of the turf. Then sweep the sand in between the loops of the turf. It was a lot of hard work. You had to wear a mask so the fine particles of sand would not get into your lungs or eyes. Tom got some in his eye.

    He even enlisted my help in the matter. It was not as easy as I thought. I'm not cut out to manuver a broom. I wasn't sure what the heck I was doing.

    All I knew was that I was pooped.

    Once I regained my strength, I found a perfect spot to read my new book, The Secret. Have you heard of it? It's now out on DVD. I highly recommend it.

    Tom says, "No more clowning around! There is work to be done, holes to be found!" What he didn't realize was that he covered up the holes he made the day before once he rolleld out the putting green turf. Now it was a scavenger hunt to find them.

    We both kept punching and pushing the ground trying to find the holes. There were 5 of them. The putting green spans 70 feet, so needless to say, this took a while.

    I thought it was funny. Tom...not so much.

    Alas! I think I found a hole! I made sure to mark it.

    And here's another! Pretty soon all the holes were found.

    Then it was time for Tom to cut out the turf around the holes.

    Steady now. Don't cut off a thumb!

    Are ya still with me folks? Hang in there, I'm almost through with this post.

    Time for the first putt. Tom and I had a contest to see who could nail the first hole in one. I let him win.

    I sliced a few in myself.

    Then it was time to stick in the flags and, viola! Putting green is finished!

    24 hours later...Can you guess where my husband is???

    It's nice to see he has a buddy to putt with. Although not many of the balls make their way down the green.

    In fact, the majority of them end up in his buddy's mouth!

    Now it's time to beautify the side yard with landscaping and flower boxes on top of the wall. I think around Christmas time I'll surprise Tom and get 5 mini Christmas trees complete with lights and golf themed ornaments to stick in the holes on the putting green. How cute would that be? It's only June and I'm already thinking about Christmas. I need to reel it in a little bit.