Monday, April 21, 2008

Shopping Cart Chronicles

It happened people!! My first REAL LIFE exchange with an evil-doer-no-cart-returner!!! I literally just got home and rushed over to my lap top to type it all out since it's fresh in my mind. God, I'm a dork.

Anyway I'm in a hurry so here goes...

I went to Target for a few essentials. Left the store with 2 HEAVY bags but decided to go cart less because I parked on the other side of the shopping complex, not even close to the Target aisles so I would have had to meander my way through many lanes and aisles of traffic so screw that. As I'm exiting the store a woman proceeds to push her cart to the far end of the outside of the store, on the corner of the sidewalk and just leaves it right there!! Not even balancing up against anything. Not only that, she had half a watered down ICED COFFEE from Starbucks still in the cup holder!!! So I thought ok maybe she's just leaving it here while she runs into another store so let me just wait. Nope. She turns away from the cart and walks away. We are now facing each other and I say very sweetly, "You left your coffee in there." She says, "Oh. I'm finished with it." OMG I could feel my blood boiling. There was sooooooo much I wanted to say people and maybe I should have been more upset but all that came out was, "Oh...really? Hmm." That's it, no roundhouse kick or nothin'! But, what I did do was hoist up my purse and heavy bags and walked over to the cart and picked up her nasty ass slimy Iced Coffee and then walked very fast in her direction (actually catching up with her so she could see me) to the cement trash barrel outside. I plopped it into the bin making sure to give it extra force so she heard it. She did because she looked right at me when I did this and instead of going ape shit and ranting and raving at her sloth like behavior, I just smiled at her. Then, I walked back to the cart (I was on a mission) and wheeled it back inside the store. I watched as the evil doer got into her vehicle and was not the least bit surprised when she climbed into her fricking house-boat sized Hummer.

Ok so I'm thinking the next time this happens I want to follow these people and get a picture of them (like a mug shot) and their car with their license plates. Then I want to post the pics up on the board at Target or grocery stores (sort of like a most wanted billboard) but it would be alerting all shoppers to beware of these Lazy Ass Non Cart Returners!

I have a feeling I'm probably going to get my ass kicked very soon.

and real quick, I just bought a bottle of Dove's new Go Fresh Energizing body wash. The grapefruit and lemongrass scent is delicious! It's summer in a bottle. And the 24 ounce size is on sale for $4.99 so this should last all summer (and then some considering how infrequently I bathe).

12 comments:

KBL 2 ORD 2 SAN said...

Don't worry, I'll drive up and kick their ass back for ya!

All you've got to do is go "Gas Station" on them. Ask Ed what it means when I go "Gas Station". Believe, NOT pretty and VERY frightening.

I wish I'd been there with you!

Stephanie said...

Ugh! I despise the lazies who won't return their carts to a cart corral or the store itself. It's really not that hard. Good for you for showing her how lazy she is and putting her cart away for her. I live near the Marketplace and that Target is ridiculous with non cart returners. It's so annoying. The day my car gets hit by one of their effing carts so help me... I honestly just think those people think its the stores' responsibility to gather their carts from all over the parking lot. They're snooty and inconsiderate. I'm not saying it's only an Orange County thing, because I'm sure it happens everywhere, but... it happens a lot here, and really, people here especially should be walking their lazy asses back up to the store with their carts because this is supposed to be body image central. A little extra walking does the booty some good, people! I'm really going off and it's unneccessary, so... in closing, I'm happy you probably made that lady think twice about being such a lazy douche.

ChiTown Girl said...

I'm almost surprised by the way you handled that. I would have thought you would have given the lazy b a piece of your mind. Good for you for being the "bigger person" and handling things the way you did!! I probably would have called her a lazy bitch to her face, and then who knows what would have happened next! No worries, I gots me some Englewood skills!!

Anonymous said...

I thought you were gonna say you drank up her iced coffee and then had to run back into Target for the bathroom

leishblog said...

Hummer driving Sociopath woman has a lot of bad karma coming to her. People like that really irk me. Good for you. You kicked shopping trolley arse!

Mindy said...

We need a post about KBL going "Gas Station". My excuse is I have to wash my hair less frequently so I can afford the Bumble and Bumble shampoo and conditioner that I am now addicted to. That is partly true. Are there no places to return carts to in the parking lot?

ChiTown Girl said...

Anonymous, that's hysterical!!

Lizy said...

Wihi!! Little miss aggressive...

Why don't you introduce "the coin system".. like we use here in Holland? Works very well!

Bon Don said...

That's funny!

I totally get that way when someone annoys me for whatever reason whiling I'm shopping, unfortunately I wouldn't have been as nice as you were....don't even get me started on my road rage.

Love your blog.

ChiTown Girl said...

Lizy, we actually have those at some stores here in Chicago (do you in Cali?) but it doesn't always work for the truly lazy. It's worth leaving the quarter in the cart to not have to put it away.

Anonymous said...

Oh how I LOVE this blog!!!!!

It really does brighten my work day.

The Engine of the Family said...

You are soo funny!