Tom and I had just moved to Seattle and we were invited to a big swanky Nordstrom gala. Tom said it was the party of the year and we were so lucky we moved when we did and were able to go. I was looking forward to the party and splurged and got my hair done in a fancy updo and went to the Nordstrom cosmetics counter to have my make up done. Tom was in a tux, I wore a strapless black gown with a knitted silver shrug (not sure about that combo) but we looked fancy. We were in our car (which was a beat up boxy SUV, sort of like a Range Rover but it was really high off the ground and I kept thinking it was going to tip). Of course it was raining on our drive to the party and it got super dark and we couldn't see anything in front of us. But I was relieved because it made Tom slow down so I didn't worry about tipping over when he was speeding. We arrive at the event which is called St. Theresa's. I guess it was affiliated with a church or school but the inside of the building was a huge open gymnasium and we were given a wrist band and escorted to the entrance of the party.
Below the floor was a pool. It's hard to describe but it was like the gym floor butted up against this pool that then had a glass building above it and another one under the water. In the pool was a small tunnel sort of like an enclosed waterslide that fed into a glass room underground. That was where the party was and the only way to get there was to SWIM through this tunnel and then shoot through the other side of the wall where it was dry. I said NO WAY IN HELL am I doing this. Tom said WE HAVE TO because this is how they do things here. I was LIVID. I had to leave my purse, shoes and cell phone behind and I was afraid they wouldn't be there when we got back. Tom says he'll wait for me to go first and then follow behind. I am swearing up a storm and people are looking at me and one girl bobbing in the water starts yelling at me saying GO BACK TO CALIFORNIA YOU STUPID BITCH! I was saying some of the most VILE things ever back to her and I wanted to dive in and rip her face off. Tom held me back and told me to just let it go and swim straight into the tunnel to the party.
I told Tom FINE and dove into the water and was only under for a few seconds before I came back up coughing and spitting. I was so worked up from that stupid girl that I couldn't catch my breath so I took some deep breaths for a few minutes and calmed myself before diving in a second time. When I tried again I made it all the way to the opening of the other side of the wall BUT my head wouldn't fit through the hole so again I had to come back up. I was FURIOUS and was saying I'M OUTTA HERE THIS IS BULL SHIT WHY COULDN'T THEY MAKE THE HOLE BIGGER??? (As if that was the only issue with this party).
A man came over and said (in a Spanish accent) that he would take me through another entrance that had a bigger opening that would accommodate my head a little further down. I told him that I can't hold my breath for very long and that I'd just like to gather my things and get out of here. He told me I could take my cell phone with me if I go with him and he handed me a waterproof zip lock type bag. Tom said he'd be in right after me and I'd see him at the party. I put the phone in the bag and then took a deep breath and then held the bag in my teeth and swam with the Spanish man way, way, down almost to the bottom of the pool. I was completely out of breath and about to explode so I started to swim the other way but the man grabbed my hands and dragged me down further. I was panicked and started to suck up water in my nose and mouth but I would not drop my cell phone bag. He pulled me through the other side where it was completely dry and decorated like a Shabby Chic house and then I threw up on the spot. Everyone else at the party was dressed in gowns and tuxes and were dry. It didn't make sense. The people all stopped and stared at me and the room was silent. The man disappeared and then Tom appears holding a glass of champagne for me and he's dry too! I said HOW THE HELL DID YOU NOT GET WET!?!?!? He said that there was an elevator on the other side of the building. I wanted to kick him in the balls but then all of these people started to come up to us and he was introducing me to all sorts of big whig Seattle-ites. I walked around the party dripping wet the entire time holding my cell phone in a zip lock bag. Tom was all smiles and was saying, Hi! This is my wife! - all proud and happy like nothing was out of the ordinary.
I woke up PISSED at him. I haven't shared the dream with him yet.