My sister is getting Tom's Christmas present at a sporting goods store and wanted to make sure that in case he didn't like it he could exchange it at a store in Seattle. So she and my mom were discussing the big chain sporting goods stores that they're familiar with.
My mom says, "Do you have Dicks here?"
My sister says, "Don't you mean Chicks, mom?"
Mom: "No, it's Dicks. We have quite a few Dicks in Illinois."
Sis: "Well there aren't any Dicks here!"
Me: "I don't think there are any Dicks in Seattle either."
Mom: "Really? They're everywhere by me."
Not what you want to hear out of your mother's mouth.
Big 5 it is.