time for a break

I think I jinxed myself by posting the picture of the worm larvae yesterday. I just found worms in Wrigley's poop. I am heading BACK to the vet in a bit to get him on meds. I was just there yesterday to test Chumley's pee! Why you ask? Well because Chumley has now decided that he likes to pee all over our windows in the study. I spent most of Sunday cleaning and scouring the windows, walls, and the window seat and then I had to throw away 5 of my favorite throw pillows that I've collected over the years. Not an hour after I cleaned up the mess the first time, there was another gigantic puddle of pee. He had sprayed the windows again and it was dripping down the panes, onto the walls and floor. I was ready to tie a rubber band around his little peeper but then I thought to myself, "What if this is the ONE time when there really is something medically wrong with him?" So I decided against it. I was able to siphon up a large amount of pee which I put into a empty jar of lip gloss.

Here is a recap of yesterday's vet visit:

me: Hi, I'm here to drop off some of my cat's urine, I called ahead and they said it's ok to bring it in for testing.

new girl: Oh, ok. So, you were able to collect urine from your cat??

me: Yeah, I was able to catch most of it while it was still dripping down the windows. The rest, I suctioned up from the floor with a turkey baster and squirted into this jar. It used to be my favorite lip gloss. (I sort of chuckled, trying to down play the embarrassment of it all)

new girl: Oh my God. Wow, ok... so does he urinate on the windows regularly?

me: No not at all. This is a totally something new so that's why I'm concerned that something may be wrong with him. He usually just pees on our beds and pillows. And occasionally the back of our couch but he's been better about that lately.

new girl: SERIOUSLY?

(now a man standing with his wife and enormous pit bull moves closer to the counter to join in the conversation)
Man: Your cat has problems!

me: I know, he's got a few issues but I just hope they aren't caused by something serious.

new girl: We can have the urine sent to our lab for testing but since it's already been exposed to the air and the windows, and the floor, there's going to be bacteria in it so the test is not going to be 100% accurate. It's really best that you bring the cat in so the doctor can obtain a sterile sample with a needle.

me: Unfortunately, it's really, very challenging bringing him in. I don't want to have to put him through that, or have you guys suffer through it.

new girl: Well, it's really the best way to get results if there's an infection.

me: Would it be harmful to put him on antibiotics just in case there was an infection without getting another sample?

new girl: The doctor doesn't like to do that unless he sees and examines the animal first.

(Another girl named Alyssa, who had actually encountered Chumley in the flesh (literally) when we taped the vet portion of the Desperate Housecats Pilot, walks into the reception area. I'm not sure I blogged about that experience but it was one of the worst visits he had ever had at the vet. I left with tears streaming down my face and the doctor said he had never seen a cat that aggressive in all of his years. He was not able to do any sort of examination because Chumley was trying to eat the doctors limbs and face.)

Alyssa: Oh hi! Are you here for Wrigley?

me: No, this time it's for Chumley, the cat.

(best way to describe the expression on her face: Egads!)
Alyssa: Oh NO. Is he here?

me: No no, don't worry he's at home. I just brought in a sample of urine for testing. I'm afraid he might have an infection of some sort.

Alyssa: (deep breath) Ohhh, ok. Well we can take care of that for you and we should have the results back tomorrow.

new girl: (to Alyssa) But since she got the urine at home, actually it was dripping down the windows and then on the floor-

Alyssa: (her eyes bugging out) It was???

me: (embarrassed) yep.

new girl: So since there's other bacteria in there, the doctor's going to want to get a sample from the cat before putting him on medication.

Alyssa: Um, probably not in this situation.

Man: (now leaning into the conversation) Is the cat really THAT bad?

Alyssa: Ohhhh you have NO idea.

Man: And we thought we had problems! (as he points to the teeth baring pit bull his wife is trying to restrain)

So I just finished typing this up before I head to the vet but before I sat down I cleaned out Chumley's litter box. I had left one lone little poop in there to drop off to be tested for worms as well. As I'm heading up the stairs I hear LOUD WET CHEWING and Wrigley comes blasting out of the room (where we keep Chum's litter) chomping away like he's chewing a giant piece of bubblegum. Yep, my sample is gone.

I am REALLY looking forward to a break away from these two. Tom can deal with the worms and urine issues while I'm gone. I've had enough.

I'll be back in a week, although I may take some coffee breaks here and there while in Chicago and Florida and post more nonsense. At least it won't be about the animals or the husband! Hallelujah!