the flasher

I had to run some errands this afternoon and one of them involved stopping at Nordstrom's to pick up this spray to help control frizzies in the summertime.

I've been really good about sticking to a budget since the new year so I made my purchase and was on my way. I tried hard to not let my peripheral vision get the best of me but eventually it won out while strutting past shoes. I just had to take a peek. So I browsed a few of the sandal displays and ooh-ed & ahh-ed at the latest summer styles. Several sales people smiled and nodded but not one offered to help. I thought maybe Tom put them up to this, alerting all shoe staffers to avoid me like the plague (similar to the code red alert he implemented once I entered the store at the Mall of America.)

So I continued to check out a few more tables of shoes even though I was blatantly ignored by the sales people on the floor. One older gentleman smiled at me, then averted his eyes a bit lower, towards my chest and raised his eyebrows. I thought, "Ok, that's a little odd", but continued about my business. I walked passed a mirror and then stopped dead in my tracks after catching a brief glimpse of what I hoped was someone else. The shirt I was wearing was a white cotton button up halter however, two buttons across my chest had come undone baring my mammaries for all to see. I was wearing a bra, but it is the most HIDEOUS piece of underwear I own. Since I was wearing a halter top I had to wear a strapless bra and the only somewhat comfortable one I have is from the late 90's which is tattered with loose threads and has been washed so many times that it's now brain matter gray in color. And as if that's not bad enough, I had to wear the bra extra low so that you couldn't see it from the back of the shirt so at some point during my strut around the store I'm certain a few people saw some nip action. Or at the very least areola action.

Speaking of which, did you know that there exists an areola color chart?
I really like the pinkish brown color for our spare bedroom. Do you think if I printed out the areola color chart and brought it to Home Depot they could match up paint? It's worth a try.