Wednesday, November 21, 2007

worse than my grasshopper

Ok I am done complaining about monster sized bugs in this house (or this era for that matter). If we roamed the earth a mere 400 million years ago we would have to contend with these guys. I'd like to know, what the hell would one do if they saw this thing crawling along their bedroom wall? Don't think a can of raid and a man's shoe would do you much good. And the article mentioned that these 8 foot scorpions were cannibals and would fight each other. Can you just stop for a second and visualize what that would be like?!? My mind can't quite get a grasp on this. Better than any Jurassic Park-like special effects Speilberg and his team could create.

And thank you Rebecca, for always brightening my morning with disgusting bug related e-mails. We have this thing about bugs and we always try to "out gross" one another. She stopped opening my emails for a while because I was on this disgusting cockroach, scorpion kick so I had to get creative and put "Cute Shoes" in the subject line and she'd open it up only to find a jumbo sized picture of this. And one time after visiting us she hid a fake cockroach in my coffee can and when I went to scoop out the coffee I swear to God, my heart stopped. I felt my body go numb and the blood surge that rushed to my head made me woozy so I sat right down on the kitchen floor to gather myself. But it's ok because shortly after that I hung fishing wire on the inside of her microwave and attached a giant hairy black nubbly spider which almost left her for dead. Oh and then there was a time she hid a cockroach in between sheets in my linen closet that I didn't find for months! I was making up the guest bed for out of town visitors and grabbed those sheets and when I flung them out to open out popped the shiny brown cockroach right onto the bed! I left the room screaming and in tears. I'm starting to feel all itchy now so I'm done posting about bugs for today.

2 comments:

Bridget said...

I saw this story this morning and thought of you right away! Someone beat me emailing it to you!

KBL 2 ORD 2 SAN said...

Stories about bugs, bowel systems, deranged felines, upside down painters, and margaritas always make me think of Laura. :-)