I knew my hair had been thinning a bit in the last year but I didn't realize how bad until today when I got my hair cut. I went to a Budget cuts *walk-ins: $14.95* cuz I could give a rat's ass who cuts my rat's nest and while the hair dresser was separating my hair into clips she said "You must really over process this area" and gestured to the right side of my head with her comb. Then she spun my chair a bit and showed me the side of my head in the mirror. I shit you not, I'm bald. I just sat there in shock and mouthed "OH. MY. GOD." Then she said, "It's pretty sparse on the other side too but not as bad as this." Seriously, this woman should quit her job and become a motivational speaker. Way to brighten one's day, budget cutter.
Anyway, I'm way too vain to take a pic of my actual barren scalp so instead, I'll show you the closest thing I could find:
Now I'm using this Man shampoo that's supposed to boost hair follicle growth at the scalp and strengthen the existing shaft. Does that mean I'll grow a penis too?
Already, I foresee 2 problems with this treatment:
1) It smells like athlete's foot powder (don't ask how I know that too)
2) I need to wash my hair daily.
Sorry but daily hair washing does not fit into the whore's bath category. Then Tom flat out tells me that he's not a fan of this new regime and thinks if I get any shampoo on my skin I'll sprout hairs all over my body (and I quote) "[he] did not marry a wooly mammoth!"
This should be interesting.
While I'm writing this now Tom's in bed next to me and Chumley jumps up to lay on his chest. Before he lays down he stands on his chest for a few seconds just getting his bearings and Tom says all serious, "Chumley, you know I don't like asses in my face." Good to know. Who says after 12 years you don't learn something new everyday?
Ok I just sprayed myself with the scalp treatment and the side of my head feels all crackly like it's shriveling up. Weird. It's tingly then crackly again when I raise my eyebrows. I feel like I have rice krispies in my brain.