flying objects

You know when you see something flying across the room (because you threw it)...

and it's headed straight towards a breakable object (because you have no aim)...

and even if you jumped out of your seat and could fly like Peter Pan you wouldn't make it in time to stop the flying object from making contact??

So instead, you just have to sit and watch the devastation unfold.

Tom's First Concert

A few beers (by Tom) and a glass or two of Sangria (for me!) were consumed before, during and after the making of these videos...

dream

I had a dream that Tom turned into Chris Isaak when he played the guitar. At first, it was incredible. He would start to play then he would morph into Chris. We were sitting in my family room and morphed Chris was playing and singing and then we walked out my front door and were inside a museum. Chris and I were walking around the museum (he, still playing and singing) and I just kept thinking, "Holy Shit. This is too weird!" Then we sat down on a bench and were getting cozy. I told him this was just too strange and that I need for Tom to come back if we're going to act all lovey. He said "I am Tom." I said, "No you're still Chris, I can see you." He said that Tom and he are the same inside but in order for Tom to physically re-appear he (being Chris) needs to play golf. So we walk outside the museum and a few feet away is a golf course. Chris puts the guitar down and grabs a driver (I don't know where it came from it just magically appeared) and he hits the ball off the tee and it doesn't go very far. He said he has to get a hole in one in order for Tom to come back. I started to freak out and tell him that holes in ones are almost impossible and he needs for Tom to come back right now! He kept hitting ball after ball but it never went very far. Then a bunch of landscapers wearing bright yellow vests starting running towards a cliff screaming in Spanish. The only word I understood was "FIRE FIRE FIRE!" I turn around and enormous orange and red flames come rolling towards Chris and I and he drops his driver, grabs his guitar and starts running with the landscapers. I was screaming for Tom while I ran a different way and found a brick outhouse type thing. When I opened the door the entire right side of my body became engulfed in flames and I was burning. I dove inside the little house face first screaming Tom's name and then felt someone lay on top of me. I never knew who it was because I woke up in a panic.

Not such a pleasant dream after all.

My Guitar Hero

***UPDATES BELOW***

Ever since Tom was a little guy he has always wanted to play the guitar. He had one in junior high, but sadly, his Dad decided to learn too, so Tom never got to play. Last weekend we saw Tristan Prettyman (S. Cal native) perform at a bar in Orange County and we were both blown away by her talent. You can check out a little video here and watch some amazing footage of the beautiful California landscape. After watching her on stage Tom said he felt re-inspired to take up guitar again. So I get home from work yesterday and there in the living room sits a new guitar.

He didn't know I was in the next room videotaping while he was jamming out to Wrigley. Wrigs is a bit confused by the new instrument and not quite sure what to do about it. It's hard to hear it clearly on the tape but when Tom's finished playing he says, "How do you like that Wrigs?" Good thing he wasn't playing for Chumley.



Last night we had a going away party for a friend and it went pretty late so we ended up going to bed pretty early in the morning. Today we were sprawled out on the couch watching baseball and fell asleep. About an hour later I thought Guns N' Roses had infiltrated our family room. I was awoken by yet another one of Tom's jam sessions. He's improved quite a bit in just 24 hours and he's learning the basic chords. So far he's mastered 3 three of them. He found a tutorial on-line and he's even learning some songs too. Although everything he plays sounds like the beginning of "Every Rose Has it's Thorn" by G n' R.

More hidden cam footage coming soon of my husband, the Rock Star.

***UPDATES***
*I've been trying to play Green Day's "Good Riddance" and what I've discovered is playing the guitar is flippin HARD. Physically. I don't recommend it for people with bad backs. And small hands. And no patience. Oh and I've already lost the guitar pick. They need to install a tracking device on those things. I've looked for it everywhere and it's gone. I really hope Wrigs didn't think it was a cheese nip cuz that's what it looked like, except it was triangle shaped. Maybe I should take up playing the Triangle instead. Does anyone even play that anymore? I won't give up on the Gee-tar just yet because I really want to learn how to play this song. Eighmay (Amy) if you're reading this does this bring back frat house memories??? I also got a few potato chip droppings inside the hole of the guitar. Probably not a good idea since we need to return it because 2 of the strings make this awful buzzing sound when you play certain notes. And it's not just when I play it happens to Tom too so we're going to exchange it.

*update 2: Drinking wine makes playing the guitar a lot more challenging but the music sounds better. Want to know what I had for dinner? Wine, American Cheese and Onion Potato Chips. That's what all Rock Stars eat nowadays. No big deal. Oh and I found the guitar pick. It was sitting atop the bathroom counter. When in doubt, always check the bathroom. At least in this house.

*update 3: Tom and I are taking turns playing the guitar. He called me a guitar Hog. There is now full on vocals during our jam sessions. It's not pretty. Perhaps if I had more wine I would video tape but as I said, it's not pleasing to the ear drums.

*ok seriously, last update: Interpretive dancing and spinning (on my part) has begun. Learning to play the guitar is fun!

Brat takes a beating

I hate it when after you eat Bratwurst you have little pieces of cartilage and fatty nodules stuck in your teeth. I guess this would be one of those times where dental floss would come in handy.

Now that baseball season is in full swing (almost), we're laying on the couch stuffing our faces with said brats, watching the Cubs beat the Mariners. Baseball and brats remind me of the Sausage Races at Miller Park, home of the Milwaukee Brewers.

And who could forget the player assault on the Italian sausage several years ago?? I'll never forget this. We had come back home to Chicago during this time and the News casters on WGN morning news could not get through this story without laughing hysterically. The entire cast was doubled over the desk in tears and one caster tried to read the story while the footage of the "assault" played on the screen. Luckily the person inside the costume was not hurt but the footage of this was one of the funniest things ever seen on tv. I tried to find video of it on youtube but so far, no luck. Here's a little write up about it and this is pretty much how it was worded for the newscaster who was reading this LIVE on the air. How could anyone get through this?

Randall Simon incident:
-On July 9, 2003 Randall Simon, then the first baseman of the Pittsburgh Pirates, maliciously assaulted a top-heavy sausage by hitting it on the head with a baseball bat. The tap didn't hit the human head of Mandy Block who was wearing the Italian Sausage costume, but it did knock her over, and she took the Hot Dog down with her. The Polish Sausage helped the Italian Sausage up and all sausages finished the Race. Simon was arrested and paid a fine, and was suspended by Major League Baseball for three games. He later apologized. Block asked only that the offending bat be autographed and given to her. Simon obliged. Since that incident, T-shirts and other propaganda popped up with the now infamous words, "Don't whack our weiner!"

Simon was traded to the Chicago Cubs later that season (for reasons unrelated to the incident). He returned to Milwaukee with the Cubs for a series against the Brewers. During the first game, Simon's teammates playfully held him back as the sausages raced past their dugout. In a later game that season, Simon purchased Italian sausages for a randomly chosen section of the crowd. He remains unforgiven by the majority of Milwaukee Brewers fans.-

It's really something that must be seen to appreciate and even thinking about it now makes me laugh out loud all over again. If anyone ever finds it, please let me know!!!

Still reading...

You know that expression "something struck a cord?" Well when I read chapter 4 of A New Earth it was like an entire piano fell on top of me. I'm not sure if it's illegal to copy portions of a book onto a blog but I'll take the chance because it's too important to not share with the rest of you. And since I've got a dedicated reader pool I thought if just a few readers benefit from these words than it's worth the risk of getting hauled away in hand cuffs! Speaking of, I'd love to know who my readers are in Argentina, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Slovakia, Sweden and the Netherlands. I don't mean to call you guys out but I see repeat visits (same IP address) from these amazing countries and I would love to know what led you here and what keeps you coming back. But it's ok either way. Perhaps someday I'll visit one of these places and bump into you on the street!

Ok, onto the book.

Chapter 4 talks about Role Playing (not that kind of role playing) but how specific roles we play (parent, teacher, doctor, preacher) define our identity. Here are a few excerpts on the role of parenthood...

"Part of the necessary function of being a parent is looking after the needs of the child, preventing the child from getting into danger, and at times telling the child what to do and not to do. When being a parent becomes an identity, however, when your sense of self is entirely or largely derived from it, the function easily becomes overemphasized, exaggerated, and takes you over. Giving children what they need becomes excessive and turns into spoiling; preventing them from getting into danger becomes overprotectiveness and interferes with their need to explore the world and try things out for themselves. Telling children what to do or not to do becomes controlling, overbearing."

"What is more, the role-playing identity remains in place long after the need for those particular functions has passed. Parents then cannot let go of being a parent even when the child grows into an adult."

AMEN!!! (that part wasn't in the book, I just added it for effect.) Ok here's more...

"In the human dimension, you are unquestionably superior to your child. You are bigger, stronger, know more, can do more. If that dimension is all you know, you will feel superior to your child, if only unconsciously. And you will make your child feel inferior, if only unconsciously. There is no equality between you and your child because there is only form in your relationship, and in form, you are of course not equal. You may love your child, but your love will be human only, that is to say, conditional, possessive, intermittent. Only beyond form, in Being, are you equal, and only when you find the formless dimension in yourself can there be true love in that relationship."

"If parents honor only the human dimension of the child but neglect Being, the child will sense that the relationship is unfulfilled, that something absolutely vital is missing, and there will be a buildup of pain in the child and sometimes unconscious resentment toward the parents."

And then later in the chapter it talks about giving up your roles...

"Give up defining yourself-to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily for a function or a role, but as a field of conscious Presence."'

-Just wanted to share those bits. Off to read some more!

COOL!!

We had an earthquake this afternoon while I was sitting at the piano playing a song for my fuzzy audience. I thought maybe a big truck went by because the piano bench started to shake but when I checked the earthquake giga-counter thingy or whatever the heck that sesmiograph is called it showed a 3.0 magnitude quake with the epicenter just a few miles from our house!!! It's so incredible to feel the earth actually move underneath you. Any other OC'ers feel this one???

Holy crap. I just realized I've been having earth shattering nightmares about catastrophic quakes. Could this be a prelude to the "Big One?" I really hope not.

deep thoughts

• If I saved every wine cork just from the last 5 years, I could soundproof 3 rooms in this house and still have enough left over to make this chair.
  

• If we decide to get another dog I want to name it Bob just so I can call it Bob Barker.
  

• Whenever I have a craving for a food that we don't have in the house, I eat Kraft American cheese slices and the craving is gone.  I love cheese. I'm not from Wisconsin but if I was I would be so proud to say that my home state is known for cheese.

• I really hate when people don't return shopping carts to their proper holding stations. There should be a law against that. I would gladly enforce it next time I see a lazy ass leave their cart between cars or better yet, moved 20 centimeters away from their car but still in the lane of traffic! I think we should all be allowed one swift roundhouse kick to those ass wipes who do not return shopping carts. Next time I see someone do that I'm going to call them out. I'll say something like, "Oh excuse me, do you need me to call 911? Did your legs give out? Are you having a stroke? I'm only asking because I'm curious as to why you can't walk an extra 6 FEET to the cart return. Clearly you must be having a medical emergency." Swear to the Spirit, I'll do this next time.

Music Tames the Wild Beasts

Check out lil' Chum hanging out on the dining room chair. Whenever I start to play the piano he comes RUNNING and takes his seat. The piano needs some MAJOR tune ups so the sound quality is not great. And I was in a rush just playing something real quick so I could take some video. I love my little audience.

Sad Day

Inventor of Egg McMuffin Dies
We'll McMiss you Muffin Man.

We're Smelly

Tom just told me I smell like pickles. That's ok because his hand smells like a foot. I swear it does, especially after he wears his golf glove.

Remember Pickle People??

Reality TV

Dancing With The Stars:
Why do the judges on this show freak the f*ck out after Kristi Yamaguchi performs? Umm, hello??? Do they not realize she's a world champion/olympic medalist figure skater? Dancing has got to be a walk in the park for her. She's definitely got an unfair advantage over the rest of the contestants. Carrie Ann Inaaaahhbaaahhh was in such disbelief with how well she lands every step and even asked, "Have you ever done this before?" DUH! YES SHE HAS YOU PINHEAD! Except, she wore blades and was on ice. Stupid turkeys.

And I think Monica Seles and Celine Dion were separated at birth.

Also, Marlee Matlin bugs me. It has nothing to do with her being deaf - that would be rude. There's just something about her that bugs me. Maybe it's the fact that she was in this stupid movie or maybe it's just because she bugs me.

then there's...

American Idol:
My top 3 favs
1. David Cook
2. Brooke White
3. Jason Castro

Was anyone else surprised Simon loved Kristi Lee Cook's performance tonight? That was a shocker. Tom and I both thought she sucked. And so did the Jonas Brothers. They sucked and thought Kristi Lee sucked too.

Wow. I just realized I sound like a grumpy old man. Not sure why, I'm not pmsing. Maybe I'm just overly tired. I'll stop now and save The Bachelor Bimbo tirade for another day.

In the News...

E-Mail, Text Addiction Could Be Mental Illness, Researchers Say
(Tom's reaction to this story was, "could be?")

From NBC 10, Philadephia
POSTED: 3:04 pm EDT March 25, 2008

"Many people are constantly e-mailing or texting and it may be more of a problem than you think. With all the instant technology, it's easy to get addicted to your "crackberry" or phone. But researchers are saying it might be a mental illness for those people who send excessive texts and e-mails. For example, you sit at the computer all day, but as soon as you leave the office, you can't wait to log on to your home computer. Psychiatrists report this kind of addiction to instant messaging could be another form of mental illness.

So what are the warning signs?

One, if you feel like it's a security blanket, and you feel naked if you're not able to text. Some other symptoms are feelings of withdrawal if you can't get to a computer, a constant need for better equipment and a constant need for more time to use it. It's not just adults who could be addicted.

Another study found the average child spends an hour and 17 minutes on the Internet each day.
Teens spend an average of 30 minutes text messaging and another 25 minutes playing online games.

So, try to take a break and step away from the PDA."

Lots on my mind...

• On Easter eve night we went to a friend's mothers house. Met some wonderful people, ate incredible food, played with an adorable dog...all the while 2 doors down, 2 people -a brother and sister- lay dead in their home. Here is the story. And, as we were leaving to get in the car Tom commented on the dog's incessant barking coming from that house. It's eerie.

• Easter Sunday- Tom and I say every year we will not exchange Easter baskets and every year we both get baskets. Most of the time it's fluffy stuff like Peeps and Chocolate and easter themed nonsense. He left for golf at 5am and hid my basket behind the door in the bathroom. Well I went to the bathroom but didn't close the door so I didn't see it. On his way home from golf he calls me. Since I don't know or say anything about the basket he's confused so he asks me if I need any more Peeps (there were several boxes of peeps in my basket). I tell him that I'm good on Peeps but thanks for the concern. He asks if I went to the bathroom today. I say of course and then he says ok then I'll see you when I'm home. I set up his basket on the kitchen table and I'm assuming that this year he really stuck to his word and did not get me a basket. He then tells me to look BEHIND the bathroom door. It was really sweet. My basket contained: Peeps, jelly beans, a giant chocolate bunny, a zippo candle lighter (cuz I'm always burning my fingers with matches) a garden ho, and a bunch of seeds to plant for the garden: carrots, green beans, broccoli, corn and sunflower. And he also got me a frisbee. His basket contained a Car wash sponge and brush. 

• We then had a wonderful brunch with family and dear friends (who are our family here) at Tom's golf course. It was beautiful, again more food, sweets, champagne, bloody Mary's, the whole shibang. Then back to our place for an Easter Orange Hunt (we can't use those little eggs in case Wrig's swallows one.) The Easter Orange Hunt was a big hit and prizes were awarded for finding the smallest orange. Then a few rounds of music trivia/charades. It's a new spin on our existing music trivia. If you can't guess the song someone has to act out either the title of the song or the singer. It's a lot of fun, especially after a few more glasses of Champagne.

• One of my very dear friends is moving out of the country. He's going to travel the world for a while, then eventually find another country to settle into. No he's not in the witness protection program. We're having his farewell party at our house on Friday and it will be sad. Oh and if anyone reading this knows who I'm talking about and would like to attend, it's at 7pm! 

• What else...Oh - Our Roomba is officially dead. We had it for a whopping 3 months. The last few times it was Roomba-ing I didn't realize it wasn't picking anything up. Tom finally de-gutted it and discovered that one of the gears had completely burned and melted into the motor system so none of the gears were turning. He wrote into the Roomba website and told them about this and they are supposed to send us entirely new innards. Tom is basically going to have to rebuild the Roomba and he's already way too excited about this. He keeps checking for a package at the front door and says, "Is it here yet?" 

• I'm heating up a turkey meatloaf from Trader Joe's for dinner tonight and it's not so fabulous. However, Trader Joe's makes this cereal called Honey Macadamia Grainfest (love that name) and it is fabulous. I'll have a bowl of that for dinner instead and Tom can try to stomach the loaf. I heated up some marinara sauce to drizzle over the meatloaf since it was a bit dry but I left some chunky stewed tomatoes on my plate and Chumley jumped on the counter and ate every last one. It looked like he was eating bloody flesh. Next time I'll take video and dub in some horror music. After he ate the last tomato he ran upstairs. Wrigley chased him into my closet where Chum now sits atop a basket of handmade shawls. Chum's now dry heaving so soon I'm sure my shawls will be covered in tomato chunks. Great.

• I've been consulting for a start up tech firm which is going great and I'm also interviewing for another consulting gig on Thursday for an International Tourism company. What's even better is both companies are small and flexible and of course there's opportunity for travel. I feel the timing couldn't be better and I also feel very blessed to be given these opportunities in light of our suffering economy. 

• I've been having dreams about earthquakes - like, incredibly devastating, earth-opens-up and-swallows-you-whole-type earthquakes. It's scary when I'm  dreaming it so I can only imagine what it would be like to live it. I've also had dreams/visions of another terrorist attack here in the United States, way worse than 9/11. I don't even want to share what happens in these "visions" because it's so disturbing and it's something that would be so easy for anyone (not just terrorists) to pull off and it would impact the security of our country indefinitely. I need to think about something else.

• Lemon Pez candy tastes like Lemon Pledge. Don't waste your money on them. And Blue Peeps stain your teeth and tongue and make your smile look like this.

• Tom came home and is enjoying the meatloaf. Yuck! But only after Chumley licked off the entire top layer of sauce. Double Yuck!
  

Chicago Cubs Documentary

Cubs hoping to produce Oscar-worthy season
John Scheinfeld doing documentary on 2008 campaign

My Dad signed with the Chicago Cubs-after he was passed over by the Boston Red Sux right out of college. He played Pro-baseball for 17 years and then retired from baseball and worked at a "boring job" in the business world. That didn't last long so back to baseball it was, this time as a coach. He was a pitching coach for the Chicago White Sox during the late 80's and 90's and then back to the Cubbies as a Pitching coach when I was in college. I used to ask him to leave me extra tickets at the park which my friends and I would scalp for beer money. Not a good idea considering our seats were behind home plate with all the player's wives. I learned my lesson after I sold some tix to a rowdy bunch of Cardinal fans that almost got kicked out because of their heckling and foul language. I sat slumped in my seat, covering my face with my Cub's hat in hopes they wouldn't point to me when asked how they got their seats. From that point on, I only scalped to fellow Cub fans.

My Dad played and coached a lot of teams over the years but the Chicago Cubs always held a very special place in his heart. I wish he were alive today to see this documentary or even be a part of it. My girlfriend has a friend who is involved in the making of this and I've offered my assistance in any way I can. This is history in the making. And John Scheinfeld, the creator of this documentary is from my hometown of Highland Park, IL. Small world. But then again, you don't have to look very far to find a Cub fan out there.

Chicago Cubs Documentary

By Paul Sullivan | Tribune reporter

MESA, Ariz. - The 2008 season hasn't even started, but Oscar fever is spreading through Cubs camp.

"It wouldn't surprise me," left-hander Ted Lilly said. "It has been a long time coming. I've gotten looked past a few times, but there are only so many times they can pass you by before they realize they made a mistake."

A documentary on the '08 Cubs with the working title "We Believe" has begun production, and the Oscar buzz is unmistakable. According to Mark DeRosa, all the Cubs need is to write a happy ending, like, say, end the 100-year drought.

"If we win the World Series this year, it'll probably win an Oscar," DeRosa said. "I'll get to walk the red carpet. We're going to Sundance!"

The Cubs may or may not get to Hollywood, but Hollywood definitely has discovered the Cubs. Producer/director John Scheinfeld, whose most recent documentary was "The U.S. vs. John Lennon," approached Cubs management last year to gauge interest in a project about the franchise and its relationship to Chicago.

It didn't take long before he got the green light from club Chairman Crane Kenney.

"You see movie people coming to Wrigley Field to throw out the first pitch, and they get a huge kick out of being around us," DeRosa said. "[It's] something you can look back on in years to come and show your kids how special it was to be part of the Chicago Cubs."

Scheinfeld, who grew up in Highland Park and attended Northwestern, said he had wanted to do something on his hometown team for years.

"I'd just done a documentary on John Lennon, I've done one on God and heaven ('In the Name of Heaven'), and it was like, 'Now what do I do?' " Scheinfeld said Tuesday at HoHoKam Park. "[It's] about the love affair between a great city and its team.

"We'll have a little bit of the history of the Cubs, and of Chicago, but mostly it's: 'How does this thing come together, and what is this tapestry all about?' "

The usual suspects will be mentioned in the documentary — the black cat, the Billy Goat curse and, of course, the Bartman episode.

But Scheinfeld insists the film will go beyond the basics and delve deeply into the psyches of the city and its famously inept franchise. The documentary will not be made "observational" style, so you won't get to see players or manager Lou Piniella filing into the clubhouse after a heartbreaking loss. It's not going to be "Hoop Dreams" or one of those HBO documentaries on Floyd Mayweather Jr. or the Dallas Cowboys training camp.

"For the players, you can't have that [fly-on-the-wall] filming," shortstop Ryan Theriot said. "There would be some bad interviews after certain games."

The possibility of the film crew becoming a distraction is minute because it won't be around every day. Even if it was, Derrek Lee said it wouldn't bother anyone.

"When you're at the ballpark or on the field, it's not really that personal," Lee said. "What goes on in here or on the field is an open book. It's really nothing new."

Scheinfeld will interview Piniella and a core group of players at camp, at the All-Star break and at the end of the season. Interviews also will be done with fans and, naturally, Hollywood types who follow the Cubs.

Scheinfeld hopes to show the film at the Sundance Film Festival next winter. If all goes well, it is tentatively slated for release in the spring or summer of '09. The Cubs won't have final say over editing.

"I've done several projects with the Sinatras, one of the tougher estates around, and they were great to work with," Scheinfeld said. "And I've done Yoko Ono and John Lennon, never an easy thing.

"My approach generally is celebrating. … I'm not going to shy away from the bad things or the stuff in the past, but this isn't 'The 50 Worst Things To Happen to the Cubs.' This is really a celebration of the city and its team."

Of course, if the Cubs flop, it could turn from a documentary into a disaster flick.

"I think they're hoping we win the whole thing," Lee said. "Then they hit the jackpot."

Finally, some birthday pics...

The party started off with Wrigley taking a dump in Pooh Corner (which wasn't really a corner at all)...


PARTY GUESTS...

Milo receiving his award from Doggy Olympics...

HERE COMES THE CAKE FOR WRIGLEY AND BROTHER CASEY...(we played "Who Let the Dogs Out" and then sang Happy Birthday to both boys)

The Happy Birthday Boy anxiously awaiting next year's bash (don't tell him, but it's going to be a Masquerade ball!)...

HAPPY EASTER

The many faces of Chumley

Here are two videos that showcase Chumley's extremes in personality. The first, shot a few weeks ago when I had the flu-and the other, Tom shot last night...

I'm trying to read a book in bed...


Clipping Chum's Nails...


And in case anyone is wondering, we've tried to medicate Chum in the past but it was sheer terror trying to shove a pill into the beast's mouth TWO times a day. His whole body would puff up and he'd foam at the mouth and shake like a small tornado, (while trying to bite our faces off.) We tried 3 different kinds of pills, anti-anxiety/anti-aggression and anti-depressants, all human grade prescriptions just in a much smaller dosage. At the time, we lived in a small apartment back in Chicago and the walls were old and thin so our neighbors would hear Chum's horrific screeches as well as our screams back and forth to each other and I think they thought we were abusing him. After several months of this hell on earth, we decided it just wasn't worth it anymore. So we just continue to endure the daily outbursts of our overly anxious, aggressively bi-polar little monster.

Some videos...

Tom and Chum


Wrigs and his Donut Toy


***RARE FOOTAGE***
Chumley being Sweet

a run on instant worms

My sister and I were shopping at the party store the other day and we found this box of instant worms (you drop them in people's drinks and they grow to worm size, sort of like a sea monkey). They are fantastic! Unfortunately they only had one box left so I brought it up to the counter and asked the clerk if they would be getting anymore of these in anytime soon. She said that they were not on the recent re-order list (are you kidding me???) but she could special order them depending on how quickly I needed them. How does one express an urgent need for instant worms? I told her that I guess I don't need them immediately, but if she could just put them on the list the next time she orders that would be great. I'm bummed though. I really wanted them for Easter brunch. Oh well. We still have some fake bugs and some other goodies.

Have a blessed Easter!

an e-mail from my mom

My mom tried to send me an e-mail and it got kicked back to her in-box as undeliverable. Read the part she wrote in red out loud...

what brought you here...

I'm having issues posting some pictures of Wrigley's birthday bash right now so I thought I'd play around with my stat counter and highlight a few interesting search words people have used to find this blog. Here are a few from yesterday...

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

n8s3.jpg

So I googled "happy toast squirrel" and found this. Apparently there is some secret underground society that likes toast. I like toast too but this I don't understand.

Recently I blogged about lemons in my backyard and referred to myself as a "lemon whore" (because I love lemons so much) but what I didn't know is that there is a porno with the same name. I actually found a clip on youtube. There's no nudity or sex in this clip but there's a naughty word or two and the ending cuts off right where it should.

You can view it here if you like, but let me apologize in advance for wasting 1 min 48 secs of your life.

Is this for real?

Tom and I are watching The Bachelor and we both pissed our pants when this bachelorette came on screen...


How does one become a hot dog vendor? Does she work at a ballpark? We are baffled by this and must find out the details.

I only wish I could tape record Tom's commentary as we sit here and watch each bachelorette introduce themselves. He is making me laugh so hard.

And what is up with the girl with the chronic hiccups, the girl who eats beer cans and the bimb from Chicago who thought London was on an ocean? It appears they've chosen the best and brightest from the single American slut pool yet again.

The 3 Stages of a Dog Toy

I'd like to share with you the life span of one of Wrigley's new stuffed toys. Meet Cuckoo Bird, given to Wrigley by his brother Casey and sister Molly...

10:00 am...

10:02 am...

10:02:54 am...

RIP Cuckoo Bird. It was a wild ride.

*******************************************************

I'd also like you to meet Duck Duck. He was a present from Wrigley's buddy Bentley...

He didn't last long either. It was a matter of minutes before Wrigley tore open his beak and ripped apart the "honking device" (Duck Duck didn't squeak, he honked like a car horn)...


Wrigley was pouty after I took his toy carcass away from him...


Here's what's left of Duck Duck now...


Now Cuckoo Bird and Duck Duck can frolic freely and honk happily, together in Stuffed Dog Toy Heaven.

something that annoys me

Anytime an Actress gives birth for the first time all the news channels say the same thing, "So and so actress is taking on a new role for the first time. This time...she's playing Mom." Every frickin' channel!! It's so unoriginal and predictable. The news directors need to search for some new material. Don't they realize EVERYONE says the same thing?!?! Just watch tonight or whenever you watch the entertainment portion of the news, and you'll hear it umpteen times.

On a side note, Congratulations to Halle Berry and hot ass baby maker Gabriel Aubry, on your new baby girl. Your little gal just stole the "most beautiful child on the planet" crown from Shiloh.


Oh and while I'm on the topic of things that annoy me, our remote control to the bedroom tv is broken. It was bound to happen sooner or later because whenever we make the bed that thing crashes to the hardwood floor. Living without a remote control for a day now has made me realize that modern technologies (not like the remote control is cutting edge technology but you know what I mean) have made this world a bunch of lazy asses. I'd rather watch 3 hours of late night informercials then actually get out of bed and walk across the room to change the channel. By the way, this infomercial for the Ped Egg makes me want to barf.

Party Preps

Before I post all the fun pics from Wrigley's birthday bash I need to share some pre-party prep photos. Here are a few things that needed to be done in order to make his party extra special.


Collage and banner making...




Cake baking, (Chum volunteered to taste test)...




Treat making (Doggy bagels, Pup tarts and Bones & Balls)...


I also bought dog cookies from the dog store in case the homemade treats weren't a big hit, (I LOVE the crab and cone)...


Party favors (magnets of the attendess along with a CD of Wrig's favorite songs)...


The finished Goody Bags...


There were a few more things I didn't get to take pictures of such as partying gifts and Doggie Olympic certificates but you can check out more pics and video on Wrigley's "Auntie N's" blog, here. I'm receiving photos from all the party goers so once I upload and organize them, I'll post on here!!!

Beauty Buys for the Weekend

Haven't posted any must have products for a while so here are a few of my favs for springtime...

The Shear Splendor line from Philosophy is splendid (I love the word splendid, need to use it more often). I got this stuff about a year ago and recently resurrected it from the depths of my cabinet under the sink (aka bottomless pit of beauty remnants).

The two products I recommend for dry, over processed hair (whether it's chemical or styling tool damage) are the Marinating Oil and the Conditioning Mask.

I use the products together about once a week and if my hair is extremely moisture deprived I'll apply the marinade overnight and wash it out in the morning using a moisturizing shampoo, then apply the conditioning mask. You'll really notice a difference even after one application.

And since this is all pre-styling maintenance, you can continue your usual hair care regimen once you towel dry. Or in my case, turbie twist dry. (The woman's hair in that pic drives me nuts! Why wouldn't they turbie twist that hanging lock back up in there? Annoying).

Here's a great bronzer from Benefit. The color goes on smooth and can be layered to achieve a deeper tan. The packaging, though super cute, is not the most practical since it's a non secure lid and somewhat bulky. But if you can do without carrying it in your purse, it's probably the best bronzer I've come across in a long time. And the color name is "Hoola" which makes me want to do a dance right now.

And if you're looking for something to spruce up the house for Spring, Trader Joe's has bunches of Daffodils for only $1.29! I couldn't pass them up. I bought a bunch today and wanted to buy those with closed buds so they could bloom over the weekend. Soon after I put them in water, they all began opening their petals to welcome the world. I need to watch this next time I buy flowers. I think it would be spiritual or at the very least, splendid!

Happy Spring!