e de candle

One of my absolute favorite scents is the Tocca Candle in Cleopatra. It smells so clean and refreshing with light notes of cucumber and grapefruit, truly the most pleasant scent I've ever laid my nose on. I also use the delicate fabric wash for delicates and bedsheets which smell so good steaming hot out of the dryer. The one thing I have always wished for is a perfume but I have never been able to find one. So I thought I'd invent my own. Sort of.

I have several Tocca candles placed randomly about the house and one of them sits near the tub in the masterbath. It's been pretty hot up there so the top part of the candle has melted into a layer of clear sweet smellin' goo. A few days ago I thought I'd rub some of this goo on my wrists and behind my ears and see how it worked as perfume. Surprisingly, it's fantastic! I dotted myself in a few places today and as I'm standing at the check out line in the grocery store, I reach across the belt to grab the separator thingy and almost clock the lady in front of me with it in the head. She was very nice about it and then said, "Ooooh. You smell good. What is that you're wearing?" I was not exactly sure how I was supposed to answer her because I didn't really want to divulge to complete strangers that I actually rub melted candle wax all over my pulse points. So instead I just say, "Tocca in Cleopatra." She says, "It's lovely, where do you get it?" She's all smiles. I reply, "Online. They have a website." Now I'm feeling really guilty so I lower my voice an octave and start talking out of the side of my mouth, "Actually it's a candle. It started to melt and I just rubbed some of the gooey stuff from the top onto my skin and it smelled so good so I've sort of been using it as a perfume."

She looks at me like I have 3 heads and then says, "Well that's creative." Then the eavesdropping cashier chimes in with, "Oh I do stuff like that all the time. I use my deodorant sort of the same way." I hesitate for a second then ask, "As perfume?" She says, "No not exactly, I use it on the back of my neck when it's really hot because I sweat a lot!" Ok GROSS!!! That's just too much information and I don't want the woman who's handling my naked peaches to have overactive sweat glands. (Note to self: remember to scrub those pups with antibacterial soap before we eat.) The woman and I glance awkwardly at each other and then to break the silence I say, "Hey, whatever works!" The woman gathers her bags and smiles as she rushes out the door. Now I'm left to fend for myself with McSweaty.

When I get home I do a search online for a pic of the Tocca candle only to find out that there is in fact perfume and it just came out on the market! So I could have avoided this entire scenario if I would have just left it with telling the woman that she can order online. Oh well. I'll probably still use my candle goo.

Call me innovative, call me frugal, call me certifiably insane. But you know what? I smell d..a..m..n good.