Wednesday, January 30, 2008

How to tell if you love your dog (possibly too much!)

I'm trying to upload a photo to my list but am having blogger issues. So for now I'll just post what I have so far and add to it later because believe me...there's a lot more!!! Feel free to add your own in the comments too! I have a feeling KBL could write a book on this. I'm also thinking of making one for cats too but with the way Chum has been acting lately, it's gonna have to wait.
  • You have a bag of treats in every purse, coat pocket and car compartment.
  • You have more photos of your pup before his 1st birthday than you do of your entire family tree.
  • Every pet store within a 12 mile radius knows you and your dog by name.
  • You spend more money on your dog's toys and essentials than you do your own clothes.
  • You are an expert at baking the perfect dog cookie and you test them first (for temperature and taste) before giving to your dog.
  • You read every ingredient listed on the back of new treats or food. 
  • You refuse to buy dog toys made in China.
  • You place more importance on your dog's first birthday than your spouse's birthday or anniversary. 
  • There's a lint roller in every room of the house and car.
  • Your husband continues to purchase expensive vacuums specifically for dog hair.
  • When leaving for the day you keep the TV tuned to Animal Planet.
  • You purchase special music CDs just for your dog. (Wrig's Personal Favorite
  • You could be a licensed canine masseur with all the hours you've clocked in doggy massage.
  • When dining out, you make sure to save enough food for a doggy bag, even if it's the best cut of prime rib or petite filet.
  • You have your vet's number on speed dial.
  • When sleeping you'll hyper-extend your knee or wake up with bruises on your legs so as not to wake the snoring 80 lb beast on top of you.
  • You have conversations about everything and share your inner most secrets with your dog and you know he understands in his own way.
  • If you awaken in the middle of the night and so does your dog you run downstairs and treat him (and yourself!) to a late night snack, preferably vanilla ice cream.
  • You can describe to the vet (in precisely too much detail - so I've been told) the shape, size, color and consistency of your dog's last 3 bowel movements. 
  • You have used up all the memory on your lap top because of the hundreds of videos you just can't delete on it's hard drive, even though they are backed up on an external drive, CDs as well as on youtube. 
  • When you take your dog to doggy day care you sit in the lobby for an hour and watch the monitors while he greets and interacts with other dogs. And if he finds a friend to pal around with you get teary eyed and quickly come up with an excuse to the concerned staff member that it's just allergies. 
  • You actually cut a 3 day weekend getaway into a day and a half because you miss your dog so much.
  • The whole house goes on lock down (meaning no outside plans, visitors not allowed, heats on full blast, and chicken soup replaces the usual kibble) when your dog sneezes repeatedly or throws up.
  • You bring your dog with you on every errand as long as the temperature in the car does not exceed 72 degrees.
  • You look at that sweet face and loving eyes and for a few moments every worry in the world is pushed out of your mind.
  • You don't care for people that don't share your love of dogs. 


Christina Shaver said...

In my next incarnation, I want to be your dog.

moooooog35 said...

How to tell if you hate your dog:

1) You often want to kick it
2) You forget to bring your dog in from the freezing cold
3) You often say "I hate you, dog"

One dog. Free to a good home. doesn't have to be that good.

Smileygirl said...


Please tell me you are Kidding!!!

Do I need to send PETA your way?

moooooog35 said...

I used to LOVE my dog.

Then, she started to do annoying things, like:

1) Bark
2) Eat
3) Go poo and pee

That stuff gets old after a while.

Please send PETA my way.

I'll chase them with my 24-ounce porterhouse and pig-ear dog treats.


Smileygirl said...

Oh well now I understand. How the hell did you end up with a dog that barks!? No wonder you're ready to kick it to the curb. And she poos too??? I'm surprised you've kept her this long. You should be commended for putting up with all of this.

I'm looking forward to catching up on your blog later today. It's going to make me piss myself I'm sure.

Mary Beth said...

This works for cats or dogs but you get that unbelievable thrill when you drive up to the house and see that silouhette in the window watching for you.

Also, after driving 10 hours straight to get home, you will drive another 1.5 hours each way to get to the house that is dog-sitting your dog, because you don't want to wait til tomorrow to see him.

Smileygirl said...

OMGosh Mary Beth that is SOOO TRUE!!! It melts my heart when I see my babies sitting in the door way together. It's the only time the can both sit together nicely without trying to maim one another. Even if I'm gone only a few hours I get that "thrill" as I'm pulling into the driveway and the garage door rolls up. A home is just a house without the love of an animal inside. Or two, or three or four!!!

ChiTown Girl said...

moooooog, I'm with you all the way!! my dog's new trick is getting in the f*cking garbage, especially when there are coffee grounds in it. do you know how fun it is to clean up coffee grounds that are scattered from one end of the kitchen to the other? not to mention the coffee pawprints!

sorry, smileygirl, but i couldn't say yes to even one of the things on your list :( the only exception is the last one, cuz i still love you madly despite your sick obsession! ;-)

KBL 2 ORD 2 SAN said...

How the HELL did I bypass this oh-so-up-my-alley fucking post!!!??? WTF?

I have SO MUCH to say here, but my eyes are going fall out of my fooking head. I need to sleep and then come back later to deal with MOOOOG and CHI-TOWN.

Laura, I love you. Will you marry me? Please? We can fill our home with furbabies from one furballed corner to another. Just you and me.

Good night for now...but I'll be back!!!

ChiTown Girl said...

Ay, oh, KBL! Is that a promise or a threat? You forget you're dealing with a broad from Chicaaago!