...just swiped an entire block of cheddar cheese off the kitchen counter and ran all over the house with it in his mouth. I SCREAMED and shouted out all of his commands: STOP, DROP, LEAVE IT, but the son of a b!tch (both literally and figuratively) kept running away from me. I finally cornered him in the kitchen and pulled out the slimy, foamy orange glob of muck. It was wedged so far back in his mouth I was scared it was going to get stuck and he'd choke. He got quite a scolding after that.
Here he is taking refuge in Chumley's bear and a few of his favorite comfort toys after my psychotic rant. He knows he was VERY naughty.
(I'm not really sure what that drippy goo is on the little side wall. I just noticed it after I enlarged the photo. Guess I should clean more often.)