Candid shots

Tom took Chum out on the deck for some fresh air.


He didn't know I was snapping photos, but Chum sure did.

this morning

Chumley's curled up on the couch, sound asleep so I snuck a couple treats in front of his face to surprise him when he awakes. A couple seconds later his head pops up and he gobbles the treats. Tom watches this exchange and our conversation went as follows:

Tom: Why would you wake him up? Just let him sleep.

Me: He likes waking up to eat his treats!

Tom: How would you like it if I stuffed a sausage next to your face while you sleep?

Me: You do.

Tom: You wish.

Vets will hate me for this

Chumley has been on this special vitamin syrup called Val Syrup, which costs almost $20 an ounce. I only give him .5 cc's so the ounce does last a while but I found the SAME syrup online for $18.95 for, get this.... 8 ounces!!

You can give this syrup to cats, dogs even horses. They also sell it by the gallon at Amazon. I've been giving it to Chum for a couple months now and he is doing so well- his coat is so shiny and he's as active as a kitten.

Also, I bought some new canned food called Tiki Cat for Chum (he's off the prescription stuff the vet gave him) and he goes MAD for this stuff. He starts knocking things down at 6am trying to wake me up to eat. Annoying YES but if it keeps the beast happy, I'll do it. His favorite is the Honolulu Tuna on rice with Crab and the Bora Bora Sardine Cutlets in Lobster Consomme. I'm telling you, this stuff smells so good you'll want to shmear it on crackers. Not that I've ever done that.

Or have I???

Shhh. Don't tell Tom.

Things are normal

Tom's watching stupid Big Break Challenge 10 Michigan on the golf channel. As he was feverishly searching for the golf channel station I tried to tell him that Comcast doesn't have a golf channel but he wasn't buying it. He's now found it and this will be on our TV at all times. F*cking fantastic.

I can't stop eating these cookies:They taste like those little cinnamon crispy cookies you get on airplanes. And they pair perfectly with a glass of Savignon Blanc. Yes, we are starting to settle into our new life.

Oh! I must share this fabulous conditioner. Since I only wash my hair about twice a week I've not been consistent with my Wen products. Instead I'm using Baby Shampoo to get out the muckety muck and then I condition with Rusk Smoothing Conditioner. This stuff is amazing but impossible to find. I found it at Bellvue Mall in a store called Beauty Works. I went with Tom yesterday and there were only 2 bottles left and he insisted I buy them both so he wouldn't have to hear me bitch about running out of this stuff anytime soon.

He's quite the forward thinker.

I want to say thank you to all of you who have been so kind to leave your comments of encouragement and support. I really appreciate each one. And to Catherine who mentioned a while back about the Dog Park in Magnusson Park, FYI: We went there this last weekend and it was INSANE!!! I have never seen anything like this before. Wrigley could not handle it, he was in paradise running like a wild man from dog to dog! He still didn't make it into the water though, even when all the other dogs around him were swimming. He put 2 paws in and looked at Tom and I like "F**K THAT SH!T!" A retriever that hates water. We're so proud of him.

And Chumley has YET to pee on any of our furniture. However, when I put on my snuggly warm bathrobe this morning something smelled amiss. I took a few whiffs and then realized, "Chumley was here." At least it's not the couch. A bathrobe is much easier to clean.

today's update

*update* Chumley just shit and threw up all over the bathroom floor, next to his litter box. My heart breaks for him because I know EXACTLY how he feels. I wish I could explain to him that he won't be left behind. Poor little stressed out monster. I'm going to cuddle him a while.

Well at least last night I got 2 hours of sleep.

I am still a wreck. Can't stop crying. My sister is on her way over in a bit. Her husband is home from the hospital, will be ok, just taking it easy. Thank you for your prayers. She's bringing me some Xanax. I need it because I got so mad today (at something unrelated to move stress) and I punched the bathroom counter top and I cracked something in my hand. This is the same hand I used to beat the shit out of my computer a few weeks ago and its never been the same since.

Movers are here again today and tomorrow. That translates to, we have too much shit. I'm overwhelmed. And to think we will be doing this same thing again in 6 months makes me want to set everything on fire.

Tom comes home tonight and I really wish he would have been here the last 2 nights. Would have nice to be together during this time and have him here to pick me up when I fall. (I mean this literally as well, I tripped and fell over packing materials and had a melt down.) I'm really a mess right now.

Today the movers told me they couldn't take our plants on the truck and I broke down again. 2 of the plants have VERY sentimental value to me, one was a gift from my mother in law after my Dad died and this plant has been growing non stop and I feel my Dad's spirit whenever I look at it. I will end up carrying this on my lap in the mini van. I can't part with it.

The animals have been scared/worried. They don't understand. Chum's infection is back so we're starting him on meds today and will continue with them for 10 days. What fun that will be to give a screaming, hissing, biting cat oral syringe meds on the freeway in a moving mini van.

There is sooooooo much more I want to say just to clear my fuzzy head but I can't because my mind is mush. Oh I will say that this morning I had a McDonald's iced coffee. And guess where I am right now??? Hence the time I have to blog. What really sucks is that there are 4 men in my house right now, each one in close proximity to the bathroom so they all know what's going on. This is my 3rd trip to the "office".

Someone wake me when this is over.

Chum's Chin

Sounds like a name you'd find in a Chinese phonebook but in this case I'm talking about my cat Chumley and his actual chin. He seems to have sprouted some sort of a carbunkle or pustule and I'm a bit concerned. So naturally I'm taking him (via photograph) to the vet. Our vet prefers not to have any face to fang contact with Chumley unless he's well, um...not breathing. And I can't say I blame him. Chum's last visit left the doc and his assistants battered and bloody.


Chum's always ready for combat wherever he goes...

Quite possibly the sickest thing that's ever happened to me...

I was just upstairs cleaning litter box #2 that has not been cleaned for a while. Pretty much every single space in that box was covered in some sort of clump or mound. One entire side was all globbed together and it was as hard as clay. It's hot as hell up there, I'm sweating and I'm digging in full force with the scooper and as I start to lift it up the handle snaps off and chunks of litter clumps and granules smack my face like a meteor shower. I even had a clump stuck to my top lip. I can still smell the litter even though I scrubbed my face, neck and entire top portion of my body.

I never thought I'd say this about my precious little Chumley, but can someone tell me why we continue to keep this cat around?!? Ohhh, that's right. Because he's oh so loving in the mornings...

Shake, rattle and poo

This morning I awoke to find piles of poo droppings scattered around the house. They trailed out from the laundry room where we keep Chum's litter, into the hall way and family room and then I found the last pile under the dining room table. It was like an Easter egg hunt in the springtime only instead I was searching for poo clumps in the hot summer. Surprisingly Wrig's had left most of the poo in the family room alone UNTIL he saw me get the tools (paper towels and spray cleaner) to remove it. Then it was a mad dash to gobble it all up. I was too tired (ok, hungover) to stop him and was trying my best to hold my breath while picking up the pieces because I felt as though I was about to lose my cookies. Between the two of us, we got it all up which triggered the neat freak in me so slowly, I continued to clean the rest of the house.

Chumley was darting from room to room and would all of a sudden plop his body down hard and shoot a leg up in the air while maniacally licking his rear entry point. I assumed there were still some remnants clinging to life so I would casually walk over to him and try to pick him up but he was onto me and kept running away as soon as I'd get close. He'd run to the dining room table then launch himself to the couch and then squeeze through the kitty cut out door of the doggy gate and run amok on the kitchen counters. I know this is beyond disgusting for most of you (or actually probably ALL of you) but this situation is not exactly what you would call out of the ordinary in this house, hence my cavalier attitude in posting it here. Just know that I do clean the food prep areas on a consistent basis so no need to worry about anything foreign in home cooked meals at my house.

Tom had returned from golf shortly after 10 and we were sitting in the living room playing with Wrigs as Chum was watching from his little sitting area near the stairs. I told Tom about Chum's incident this morning and how I think he still needs some help cleaning it all up so I sneakily headed over towards Chum. Since Wrigs was close behind there was nowhere for Chum to escape so I was able to nab him. I held the squirming boy facing belly out towards Tom so he could inspect the area in question. Tom moved his tail out of the way and poor Chum howled and thrashed around to get out of my grip but I held on tight until Tom gave me the thumbs up, everything looked normal.

No sooner did I place Chum back on his perch when the ground shook with force! I was standing in the middle of our living room and it felt as though the wood floor was going to pop and snap into pieces. Tom jumps off the couch, Chum FLIES up the stairs and Wrigley starts barking like a mad man. It lasted maybe all of 5 seconds? Maybe longer? But OH MY GOD we were all frozen in what seemed like an eternity. I thought to myself, "THIS IS IT! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Ok maybe I didn't just think it, maybe I screamed it at the top of my lungs for the duration of the quake, I don't really remember but it literally felt like our house was picked up and placed back down on the ground. Nothing was broken, nothing even fell off the shelves but chandeliers shook, doors & windows rattled, and the floor I was standing on felt like it was about to cave right in. Once it was all over I told Tom I bet the epicenter was right beneath our living room floor so we rushed to the Earthquake alert page and saw that it was a magnitude 4.7 centered about 12 miles away and was felt as far as Northridge, San Diego, Palm Springs and Big Bear. It was quite a jolt.

This was a quake wake up call for us both because we realized we are not as prepared as we had thought. We have canned goods and water stashed away in the garage, as well as an earthquake survival kit but we have to secure some of the heavier items (like our tv in the bedroom and many things piled on top of each other in the garage) and have easy access to important documents in case we need to claw our way out of rubble. Of course I pray to God that never happens but mother nature is not something we can control so we need to do as much as we can up until that point of no return. Those of you here in California, please make sure you're prepared and for those of you in the rest of the world, I hope you have preparations in place in case of natural or man made emergencies. Disasters strike with little or no warning and I just want all my loved ones to be safe.

This link to Fema's website on disaster preparedness is something everyone should take the time to read.

Are you Ready?

Poor Chum

The last few days have been a bit warm in the house and one of the ways Chum cools off is laying belly up with his side against the wall. It's really cute and sometimes he contorts his neck in what looks to be very uncomfortable positions so Tom and I call him "Twisty Boy."



Here's a shot of him sleeping but what's funny about Chum is that he's never really relaxed, even when asleep. Notice his feet sticking straight up with the toes curled and even his face is sort of squished. Poor little stressed out monster.



Well I guess to some degree I can understand why he's never really relaxed...

More on Chum...

Sadly for us, I have more demonic Chumley videos. He was VERY angry when he woke up this morning and I was trying to calm him but my efforts proved fruitless. I hope he snaps outta this soon. He's had mean streaks that can last a week or more though so who knows what the heck is up his cat ass this time. We're about ready to cut off his food supply.



Chumley does this karate chop style attack. I should be better prepared for it but usually he screams like he's a professional karate chopper, about to slam his fist forcefully into a giant brick and right as he's about to do it he screams out..."Hiiiii YA!" and then smashes the brick into bits. In this video just imagine my face as the brick.



After Tom watched this video he says, "Laura, there are so many things wrong with this, first one being you're telling Chumley not to hit so hard. Why not discipline him for hitting period???"

Yeah, I see his point. Oh by the way, did you happen to notice the new shower curtain on the bed? I like how it's got that opalescent look to it. Gives the room sort of a moonlit glow.

Cujo Kitty

Here's some more of Chumley's rage. He's much better today probably because he got out all of his aggression during these tirades and also because he peed all over the BRAND new futon cover in my newly redecorated craft room. Tom comes home from work yesterday and sees the pee spot that I was just about to clean up and says, "That does it Laura! If he pees on ONE MORE THING in this house, HE'S GONE!!! I MEAN IT!!!" He's been saying that exact phrase for over a decade and now, there is literally nothing left in this house that has not been soaked in Chumley's urine. Doesn't that make all of you want to rush over and visit?? I'm headed to Target to get another set of rubber sheets, and yet another shower curtain. It's only a matter of time before we all expire from the plastic fumes in this house.

Norman Bates has nothin' on Chumley

Chumley doesn't like when I'm about to take a shower, probably because it means I'll be leaving the house soon. Sometimes he's extremely upset and will come at me like a flying squirrel, cling onto my legs while taking out chunks of leg meat. Other times he's only slightly annoyed and screams at me while getting in a few swats and lunges. I would love to share the footage of his violent attacks but I need both hands to protect myself. Here he is the other morning, while I'm brushing my teeth about to get in the shower, just waiting for the water to get warm. (Again this is camera phone footage so it's poor quality and only lasts a few seconds.)

Psycho Kitty

More of Chum and Bear...

How Chumley wakes me up in the morning...

My alarm went off and instead of getting out of bed that instant, I stayed bundled up and watched the stupid news on Paris Hilton's jail break. Well Chum was not happy about this and was determined to get me upright and on my feet. Here he is biting me hard and trying to pull my arm off to get me out of bed. Thankfully I woke up freezing the night before and threw on a sweatshirt. I would have been bloody otherwise.

(The quality is not that good but this is the only way I was able to get the video to work. There is sound too.)

Chumley wake up1

Chumley wake up2

Chumley and Bear

He's a little camera shy in this clip. But you can definitely see his sweeter side.

Apparently I didn't pick up all of Chumley's bear stuffing. He must have found some under the couch or coffee table and brought it to his food bowl with the other things he hoards in there. Poor little mental case.

Caught in the act

There's been somewhat of a mystery over at our house regarding the animals. My husband and I couldn't figure out why the cat seems to be getting larger though, he rarely touches his food and the dog appears a bit leaner yet gobbles every last kernel of food in a flash. I think we've found out why...




There is the culprit, Chumley, pawing Wrigley's nuggets to the side of the bowl and then scooping them into his mouth. In the evenings I usually let Wrigs out before feeding time and if he's enjoying himself out there (which is a rarity because he hates to be outside alone) I let him stay out for as long as he likes. I fill up his bowl so I don't forget to feed him and when he's ready to come in he bolts straight to his feeding station. Well today Wrigs was playing outside and I filled up his bowl then went to do some work in the dining room. A few minutes later I hear LOUD crunching coming from the kitchen. That's when I saw Chum feasting away on the GROWING pups food. This definitely could explain Chum's ever expanding tummy.

After a few mouthfuls Chumley retreats to his "hole" for a quick nap. Lately he's been laying in this sideways upside down position. Maybe it helps to aid the digestion of all the dog food.

Desperate Housecats update

I heard back from the producer of the cat show and as it turns out for the time being this show is "on hold". There have been some unforeseen circumstances that have momentarily stopped production of this show. He is going to keep me abreast of the situation(s) as things progress but he did say that the show is not shelved, and not to give up hope, yet. We'll just have to keep our fingers (and paws) crossed. One thing's for certain in the wonderful world of TV...nothing is for certain.

In the meantime, I'll share this pic of Chumley underneath our bedroom shower curtain. Every morning as Tom and I make the bed Chum jumps up just as we are putting on the final layer (the vinyl curtain) and likes to burrow himself and hide. I think he thinks that we can't see him. For those of you not familiar with why we have a shower curtain on the bed, we have a cat that likes to pee on our beds. Really, it's not because we, ourselves have overactive bladders or enjoy the high from the noxious fumes that emit from this heavy plastic tarp. We do it to save ourselves another trip to the mattress store. We've been married 9 years and we're on our 3rd mattress. I guess that's not so bad, a new mattress every 3 years. But since we've come up with the genius idea of covering our beds in shower curtains, we shouldn't have to buy a new one for quite a while.









I've even tried to beautify the plastic sheath as best I could...matching it to the room decor,









and tying pretty color coordinated bows to each piece.














For our bedroom, I opted for a more opaque curtain with see through cirlces. The other day I got some new pillows and pillow cases and as Tom and I were making the bed it looked so pretty and spring like. I said to Tom, "I love our new pillows and cases. It reminds me of an old fashioned room in a quaint bed and breakfast." And as he finished covering up the bed in plastic he replied, "Yeah, after a murder." I think he's been watching too much CSI.

more on Chumley's Bear Cruises

Thanks to my friend Lori, for finding this gem on youtube. If any of you are on the fence about sailing the seas with Chumley's Bear, I'm sure after watching this video you'll quickly make up your mind. I'm also beginning to think the word "bear" takes on a completely different meaning for these folks.

Interested in a Gay Cruise?

For those of you who know my cat Chumley (and his bear) you will find this very amusing. I am beginning to think this cruise was created in honor of Chumley and his bear!

Here is the human "Chumley" who I'm assuming is the one who puts this whole shin dig together. I'm tempted to write to him about my Chumley and his bear and see if he'd like to hire him out as the ship's mascot.


For anyone interested in taking a Chumley's Bear Gay cruise, I've included the link below. Sorry ladies, it appears to be for men (and gay cats) only.

Chumley's Bear Cruises