Monday, June 28, 2010

Obsessed

I've seen the preview for this show, Obsessed and it brings back a lot of memories.

When I was in middle school thru jr. high I had OCD. Somehow, by some miracle, not drugs, I grew out of it. And when I watched this preview it's like it all comes back to me. I used to turn on and off light switches 20-40 times. Always had to be an even number. Same with opening and closing the screen door. I remember getting in trouble at school because I turned on and off the light switch in class and my teacher told me it costs 10 cents every time you open and close the circuit. I never forgot that. Maybe that's what helped me to stop because I felt bad that my parents were going to go for broke if I kept doing this at home. But the screen door was another story. My poor dog would be standing outside in the bitter cold, begging to come in and I would open and close the door just an inch or so 20+ times before I could finally fully open it and let her in.

There were other things that I did or things that really bothered me like certain fabrics on my wrists. I would go completely ape shit if the fabric on my wrist was tight and squeaked if I chewed on it. My poor babysitters. They never came back twice. I also did the counting repetition, like in the preview, but I always had to end on an even number. I would never end on number 3, cuz that's just weird. Ok I think I've said enough.

6 comments:

K@tie said...

ok, don't feel bad! I was diagnosed with clinical ocd when i was 15. i have been taking drugs for it off an on since then! when ever my stress level gets high symptoms come back. however, my food touching on a plate still sends me over the edge. i HAVE to use those divided plates it is pretty pathetic.

Smileygirl said...

I guess it never really goes away but those symptoms manifest themselves in different ways when the stress levels increase. Do you take anti anxiety drugs if you don't mind my asking?

karen gerstenberger said...

I haven't seen the show, but we have OCD in my family of origin, too. No wonder we get along so well! xoxo

K@tie said...

I take Wellbutrin but it is the lowest dose. It works well for me without putting me in a "zombie" state. I took Paxil for a little bit when I was in college but I has no emotion whatsoever on it and my parents took me off it.

Erin said...

In HS I had to run up the stairs two at a time. IF the phone rang while I was on the stairs, it would mean that "x" would happen. While showering, I had to turn it to cold in the last few seconds, otherwise I would have a "bad day". Multiple times I would check my curling iron, to make sure it was off, often driving home to make sure of it. Truly. I am so glad that I left that stage. I don't miss it at all. I'm sad because I think I've passed it to my kids.

Smileygirl said...

K@tie, that seems to be the consensus on Paxil regarding that Zombie state. And from what I've heard most people do well on Wellbutrin and don't suffer many of the other side effects that come along with antidepressants. I think I need to talk to my doc about Xanax for the panic attacks that I've been experiencing. It's strange how the anxiety comes out in different ways.

Erin, when you said that about X would happen if the phone rang I totally just paused and thought, I used to do the same thing! Or if the phone would ring and the time on the digital clock would be 11:10 I would say I can't answer it until 11:11 and then of course it would stop ringing. Many times my mom would be in the other room and come running in and grab the phone and then say WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? and I couldn't even explain it to her I would say I just didn't feel like it. OMG I'm totally remembering other things now, just because of your comment. Luckily we can hopefully laugh about this now but I hope if your children have similar tendencies at least you can understand them and talk them through it without making them feel like something is wrong with them.