Friday, February 27, 2009

Chumley Pooped...

on my North Face hat.


If I'm not up and out of bed by 7:30 he gets pissed and this is his latest display of pissed-off-ness. He is such a demanding nightmare in the morning. Other things he does on a daily basis to get me out of bed: (usually he picks a combo of about 3-4 things depending on what's available)

-Chews the straps on my purses (the majority of my purses have tiny teeth holes in them)
-Knocks over the alarm clocks (we have 2)
-Chews electrical cords at the wall outlet (I'm thinking I may not stop him from doing this anymore)
-Spills the water bottle (can't use cups of water, must have lids because this shit kicker always knocks them over)
-Slaps the closet door so it obnoxiously bangs back and forth
-Knocks over the garbage can in the bathroom
-Rustles through paper, magazines, bills, anything that makes an annoying noise
-Knocks over the kitchen phone (this one he does everyday, finally had to get a new phone because it was crackly.)
-Bellows LOUDLY at the side of the bed
-Jumps from the floor to my head, swats my head, runs away, gets chased by a barking Wrigley, lather. rinse. repeat. (this is another everyday occurrence, and not just in the morning)
-Stands on the computer keyboard so it makes that deep "Bumm Bumm Bumm Bumm Bumm Bumm" sound.
-Knocks the keyboard mouse on the ground.

I know there are more things this beast does, but I can't think right now.

The more I think, the more annoyed I become.

Time for a head soak.

21 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

Why, oh why, do you put up with this shit?!?! (Literally!) He would have been gone ages ago if it were up to me. Actually, if it were up to me, he never would have been around in the first place, but I digress...

Busy Bee Suz said...

Seriously Chi...it is her BABY.
Some of them are just bad. :)

Chums makes me think my 3 rotten cats are almost good. almost.
you should buy a new hat. asap. and lock it away.

Erin said...

You have amazing patience. I especially like the visual of him sitting on your keyboard.

Live For Today said...

My kittehs mainly take their frustrations out on each other. I'm out of the Feliway plug-in and some scratches have appeared on Izzy's nose. I need to blog about the cattiness. She likes to shred toilet paper. I have to hide it all under the cabinet. I have to have water bottles too, but that's mainly because they will stick their paws in the cup, drip on the furniture, then I inevitably dump the cup myself.

Jane said...

Yet again, I FEEL your pain. Shadow is a royal pain in the *ss in the mornings! He cries, knocks things off counters, jumps on the bed, if you lock him out of the bedroom, paws at the door with all his strength, and the list goes on and on. And Graycee likes to stick her head in my water glasses, so that's a no go too... Sometimes I wonder how I put up with all their shananigans, and also think that those two are some lucky p**sies..

Pat and Abe said...

Is this your husband -- although it sounds like the Black Panther cat.

Pat and Abe

KBL 2 ORD 2 SAN 2 LUV said...

ChiTown! Chumley is a lover, not a fighter. Sometimes kindgergarteners (and cats) show their love and affection by poking, biting, smacking, etc. Don't you remember getting your ponytail pulled by the cute boy in kindergarten who had a crush on you? :-)

With that being said, I'm glad he pooped on North Face and not on YOUR face, ya know?

We love you Chums! XoXo

Anonymous said...

cats can be such butt heads.

KBL 2 ORD 2 SAN 2 LUV said...

Everyone....whatever you do, DO NOT click on Pat and Abe's blog. Because you will get sucked into ready for 2 1/2 hours straight right away! Their blogs are GREAT!

K@tie said...

My cat, Tino, eats purses too. As well flip flops and laptop cords. But for some reason, I still love him.

Smileygirl said...

These comments crack me up. So many insane cats out there! WHY!?!? What went wrong in the feline world? I have some video of Chum standing on the keyboard doing the BUMM BUMM BUMM noise that I'll upload later today. He's been nothing but a nuisance all day.

karengberger said...

I'm sorry to be the only one to think of this, but did Chumley just try to make you into a sh*thead? If you had put the hat on without looking, isn't that what would have happened? That is nasty! Good thing you are alert. He has moved on from #1 to #2...what's next? Do I need to go look for another Poulsbo hat for you?
KBL, are you saying that was a love-bite that Chum gave my leg?

Smileygirl said...

Karen I never thought of that! I wonder if my twisted cat is trying to send me a message! I know he thinks I'm a sh*t head so this all makes sense now.

And yeah that was definitely not a love bite he gave you. Do you have a scar? I had a friend come over earlier in the week and Chum jumped up on the ledge in the foyer to attack and misjudged the railing and slid down the banister backwards and I almost peed my pants laughing. He was SOOOOOO pissed and then came running after me with karate chops! My friend was like, WTF just happened?!?!?! It was insane.

Anonymous said...

For 12 1/2 years my dog wakes me up at 6:30AM no matter what day it is to eat and go out. I dread daylight savings in the spring when we lose an hour of sleep and 6:30 is the new 5:30. I hate the weekends when i want to sleep in or know I had too much to drink the night before, and have to walk her stinking drunk, while hoping not to run into anyone who wants to say hi. (I live in NYC)

I love hear to death and plead with her to let me sleep. But she becomes incessant. We come back from the walk, and shes out cold and im wide awake. Fair? I think no.

Anonymous said...

Um just read pat and abe's profile on their website... and I quote:

"Faults: love to smell farts fanned from under the sheets as long as they are mine. The best smell in the world is the smell of a dog's foot."

Scary!

KBL 2 ORD 2 SAN 2 LUV said...

See?! How can you NOT be attracted to a blog with a description like THAT?!!! LOL!

karengberger said...

OMgoodness, I LOVE the image you created of him as Mary Poopins (typo, but I'm leaving it in), sliding down the banister! Of course, loss of dignity is the absolute WORST thing for a cat! No wonder he came out swinging...I hope you ducked! What a guy he is; there aren't two like him!
You might have a children's book or a fable there, you know? "The Cranky Cat Who Was Mary Poopins In Disguise" or something. Maybe you can write that, after we make the RealEscope...

Smileygirl said...

Yes Pat and Abe are hilarious! And who doesn't love the smell of a dog's foot. Wrigs smells like popcorn (or poo corn depending on the day).

I can so relate to the 12 1/2 year dog owner in NYC. Chum will be 15 this year and sometimes I'm amazed that I've managed to live under the same roof with this monster for that long. And those mornings when you may have a slight headache (hangover) are the WORST because the noise and obnoxiousness is amplified a hundred times! Maybe you should just hide a bowl of food in your bedroom so when she gets all annoying you can toss it down on the ground and get a few more moments of sleep. But then you have to walk her so that's only prolonging the inevitable.

Karen I did the open house circuit again on Sunday (by myself) and could have really used that Realoscope! I wonder if binoculars would work...

karengberger said...

Sorry that I missed the open house circuit. How did it go? I love real estate!
NO, I have no scar. Please don't worry; I am over it, I forgave him...I just don't trust him. =b

Anonymous said...

NYC Dog owner again here... If I left food out she'd eat it. Shes a K9 vacuum cleaner. She would snarf it down when I put it down. Even when she had surgery recently and was on meds that knocked her out, she was up at the butt crack of dawn. And like Chumley she has gotten mad at me when I have waited too long and left me some "gifts." Id wake up to the smell of these "gifts" as the scent moved from one end of my apt to the other. Now as soon as she becomes annoying I take her out. In this house the dog rules...

blondeamblission said...

Wait. I think Chum is at my house in the mornings...