Thursday, March 18, 2010

WAY too much TMI...


...but like that's ever stopped me before.

Don't you hate when it's that time of the month and you run out of EVERYTHING so your cart is filled with Super Tamps, panty liners, nighttime wings, feminine wipes (aka "peach wipes" in this house) maximum strength Midol, menstrual cramp heat therapy patches and 6 pounds of chocolate???

Oh and toss in 2 bottles of buy one get one free Tums, a jumbo pack of triple ply, extra soft toilet paper AND a plunger?!? Then watch as the checker tries to keep a straight face while ringing it all up. And you just stand there smiling innocently while the people behind you in line look you up and down like some sort of side show freak. Rule of thumb, always go to a female checker. Always.

When Tom sees the heavy artillery stacked up on the bathroom counter he starts to sing a little song. It's the same thing every month, for the last 12 years but yet, as hard as I try not to laugh, I can't help it. He claims the pads look like surf boards so he'll start to sing (to the tune of Surfin' Safari), "Let's go surfin' now, everybody's bleeding now, come and take a ride with meeeeeeee!" I tell him the last part makes no sense but he says it does because I'm the one "riding the surfboard" when I...you know, place it in its place.

Anyway.

Surf's up.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Holy hell I am laughing so hard I almost wet myself!! You are a freaking riot! These are the posts that keep me coming back to your blog every day.

Anonymous said...

I have never seen a vagina costume before--do they carry these at Party Stores?
YKW

Cheer up--I quit needing such decorations when I was 40--I was a little advanced in that one area! (Something for my obit I guess.)

Anonymous said...

I guess I forgot the body parts--that costume is a Privates Costume, the vagina just being an important part.

Stephanie said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA

ChiTown Girl said...

God, I love that Tom!!!!!

How's his dad this week?

Smileygirl said...

Hi Chitown, he's not doing so good. Tom's going to see him this weekend. Had a good chat with Frank yesterday. All we can do is take things day by day. It's hard though, especially being far away. :(

Erin said...

Thanks for making me laugh this morning! I needed that.

Tracey Axnick said...

Tom is hilarious.... you need to get video of this. :)