Thursday, March 11, 2010

marital annoyances

Anyone who's been married a while will probably relate to this post in some way or the other. One of the things that Tom does that drives me INSANE is when he can't find something, say, his wallet, or keys or most recently, his wedding ring, instead of asking me if I've seen said objects he'll say, "Where did YOU put my [whatever it is he is looking for]???

It makes me crazy.

So the other day, he couldn't find his wedding ring. It was actually his old wedding ring because this Valentine's day I decided to get him a new band. His original one was in bad shape and honestly, it just wasn't something that suited him. I thought at the time (12 years ago) that it was perfect but after knowing him now so much better, it just isn't him. But, he loves the ring and obviously wants to keep it forever. I drove him into the office this particular day and as he's getting out of the car he says, "I don't know where YOU put my wedding ring, but can you please find it? Thanks. Love you." He didn't even give me a chance to erupt because he was out the door so fast, heading into his office.

The whole way home I stewed about this and was going to have a heart to heart with him and finally put an end to these accusations that I'm always moving his stuff around. Oh and he won't just do this with household things, he'll do it with tools, golf stuff, just totally random objects that only HE touches. But first, I was determined to find his ring. I didn't have to look long because the first place I checked which was his area of the closet, there it was, stacked behind some jeans on top of his box of cufflinks/tie tacks which obviously I did not put there.

So I sent him a text that said, "I found your ring. YOU put it in YOUR closet. YOU'RE welcome."

He writes back "Thanks."

Still annoyed.

The other day I was out putzing in the yard and decided to do some gardening. It was sunny and warm so I wanted to plant some flowers and weed. Tom was golfing and I rarely call him while he's on the course but I wanted to get started but couldn't find my bucket of garden gear (that he obviously put somewhere). So I called his cell and surprisingly he answered (in a whisper because God forbid he disrupt his cronie's concentration) but instead of asking him, "What did YOU do with my garden tools? " I politely inquired, "Do you know where my bucket of garden tools might be?" He sighed a couple times, which meant he was thinking and then he said, "Why didn't you ask me this last night? I'm busy right now and need to focus."

Silly me, I should have known to ask about gardening when it's 40 degrees and rainy, 10 o'clock the night before.

I said "Forget it." and hung up then TORE apart his tool closet looking for that damn bucket. I finally found it.

When he came home he saw me sitting in a pile of dirt, whacking away at weeds and said, "Oh good you found it."

I told him I'll be sure and ask him today, all the things I'll need answered tomorrow so he has plenty of time to think about it.



Karyn said...

I'm dying laughing at this because I can so see it happening.

Smileygirl said...

Well you witnessed similar things while you were here I'm sure. Remember the trip to Fremont for Fat Tire beer??? He still has no clue about that.

karen gerstenberger said...

I think this is hard-wired into men. They seem to think that we have a sort of Google-Earth perspective of every item that has ever entered the house, no matter what it is, whose it is, where it actually belongs or what they last did with it. As if we can type it into a search box in our brain, zoom in instantly, & find it. Funny!

Lady Ren said...

This is my life too. Where did YOU put! No where did YOU put! I KNOW where I put things.
I even found a really cute "red thing" for keys and it has a place for him to put his wallet and pager. The phone is with him always. He never puts his wallet or pager or keys where they are supposed to go. When we first got married I used to make him lists, after ten years I just look for where HE puts his things... man your post makes me feel good-

Smileygirl said...

This is why I love blogging about stuff like this because we're not alone! Makes me feel sooo much better about our dysfunction.

Clippy Mat said...

Roseanne Barr (as was) said it right when she said,
"Men, they think the uterus is a tracking device."

Angie Muresan said...

Oh, this is funny! My husband knows better than to ask anymore.

Smileygirl said...

Angie, how long does it take to get to where they no longer ASK??? I would have thought after 12 years this would change. I must be doing something wrong.

Stephanie said...

Yes, let's not interrupt Tiger Wood's concentration...

Smileygirl said...

So true Stephanie! It's like they are playing in The Masters or something. So stupid!

Tracey Axnick said...

Ah marriage.... :)
Hubster and I have been married 18 years and I sometimes get MORE mad at him than EVER.... and then sometimes I just "let it go" because I know it will never change.

I think Karen nailed it on the head with her "google earth" analogy (very clever, Karen!) Men just ASSUME we know where everything is, all the time.

After all, we women ARE the engines that run the world anyway.... :)

Australian Stephanie said...

I get this all the bloody time. The funniest is when he accuses me of putting his keys/ sunglasses/ wallet somewhere and they are in his pocket. In the pants he is wearing. Also, funny how when you actually do put stuff of theirs away, it is "lost". This morning I put away a blue pair of sneakers and even though he opened the cupboard to look, could not find them, screamed for me to help and I lift up a pair of white golf shoes (it's a disease) and there they were underneath.

Smileygirl said...

Australian Stephanie why is it men can't actually move something out of the way to find what they are looking for? Tom does that ALL THE TIME and he'll be looking for orange juice but it will be behind the milk and he'll stand there with the fridge open and say, "We have no orange juice." HELLO!?!? MOVE THE MILK! YOu can tell this is another hot button for me!