Misery probably doesn't love company

I'm trying to get back the reason I started this blog which was to Live Happy. But it's been a struggle. I reread some posts from this time last year and the person writing back then seems so foreign to me now. I have become someone else who I don't like very much. This isn't me and this isn't who I want to be. I am taking steps to try and get those happy feelings back so I thought I'd put some happy flowers up on here and go back to the old name. We ordered a sun light last night and I've got a call into a psychiatrist. I'm heading into a downward spiral that I'm not able to get myself out of without some help. I've been feeling like this since that fateful day in May when we found out about moving away. I anticipated this depression for months now, but anticipating and actually living in it are very different. The last time I felt this miserable was June 10, 2006 the day my Dad died.

In an effort to try and be happy I am only going to post positive things on this blog and I've moved "Where's the Sun" to a new place where I can unload my negativity and misery. I'll link it in the side bar so for those of you who want to check in and witness all the shit that is stockpiling inside of me, feel free. But for those of you who don't or will be offended by all the bitching and moaning then it's probably not a good idea to visit. I'm not censoring a bit. It's raw, it's real and it's what I feel and need to get it out before I go off the deep end. My goal is try to and post 1 for 1, so everytime I spew out negativity I have to balance it with something positive (as suggested by a caring friend) so that is what I will do. Or try to at least.

So here goes something positive. This morning while watching the Today show I laughed at Matt Lauer's halloween costume. He was an egg: Humpty Dumpty.

Drive Carefully

"Cause you may just hit someone walking down the city street reading a magazine or carrying a box."

(these signs are around our neighborhood and they make me laugh. actually I almost hit someone the first time I saw it because I was fixated on that picture.)

Depressing

Above is the American Heritage Dictionary's definition of Depressing. They could not be more accurate. So what's the definition for "10 days of rainy depressing weather?"

And of course I have to torture myself and check the forecast back home.

My friend sent me this link highlighting point #2.

And it's true. I will never, ever understand.

I told Tom that companies who relocate people out here should provide them with a welcome packet containing the name of a therapist and a bottle of prozac. Or a noose. Not sure which one I'd opt for right now.

=(

yummy yummy

Tom had to do business in Naples, Florida (lucky bastid) and is coming home late tonight.

I wanted to make him some sort of surprise treat when he got home but wasn't sure what until I got to the grocery store.

So,

what do you do when this is on sale:


and these:


are 2 for $4???



Why, of course, you make this!


Which now, looks like this:


Someone in this meat locker may or may not have had the munchies.

House hunting

(or haunting?)

Tom and I have been hitting open houses as much as we can and I thought I'd share our last house encounter.

As we're walking up to the house (which was an old 30's box style craftsman) there was a head stone in the front yard. I grabbed Tom and said, "We can't live here! Someone's buried in their front yard!" Tom said, "Ummmm...dipshit, it's a Halloween decoration." But, to my defense, this tombstone looked authentic. And, they had no other Halloween decorations around the yard or house so it looked as though it very well could have been someone's great Aunt buried right out in front. And I have been so out of sorts that I completely forgot Halloween is just around the corner.

So we enter the home and the agent greets us. It's toasty warm and had an adorable front room with a cute little kitty sleeping on the couch, which of course I had to pet. Then, we follow the agent into the kitchen and it's a disaster. It has this weird stand alone counter with these 2 gigantic barrel things underneath that were cracked and rusty. I say to Tom, "What the heck is this???" Tom sort of laughs and says, "Maybe they have coal heating." I say, "This is 2008! Who the hell heats their house with coal?!?" Tom gives me this weird look and I mumble some more nonsense about the bootleg kitchen as the agent takes us through to the basement.

There were so many rooms down there, none of which were finished and the agent explains to us that in the 40's this house was used as a boarding house for students. I peep my head into all the dark rooms each with a tiny window the size of a shoe box and said, "That's creepy! People actually lived in here? Could this be haunted?? This reminds me of the basement in Silence of the Lambs." The agent sort of laughs as Tom is now shuffling me rather quickly through the basement back up the stairs. We follow the agent up another flight to the 2nd floor.

We walk into the master bedroom which was pretty cool, tons of windows as well as this closed in porch with windows all around. I open the door to walk out onto the porch and after one step the floor buckles. Tom's about to follow me out and I yell, "Don't move! The floor's going to cave in!!!" Then I hop back into the bedroom and tell him how freaky that was and how I felt like I was going to fall to my death. By this time the agent has left the bedroom and Tom tells me to please just stop talking.

So now we enter the bathroom and it's as though it was never updated. Tiny tub, pedestal sink and cock eyed toilet. I ask, "Where's the master bathroom?" The agent says, "This is the only bathroom." Tom starts to thank the agent for his time but of course I interrupt and say, "I don't understand how a house this size can have only one bathroom! Or why wouldn't the owners at least update the one they have?" And that's when "the agent" says, "Well we've been here over 10 years with 2 kids and haven't had any problems!"

Holy shit. This guy owns the place. All of the things I had previously said start playing in my head and I feel like a complete and total ass. I quickly try to back track over the bathroom comment and tell him that since we moved from out of state, we plan on having a lot of out of town visitors and it's more challenging to share a bath when it's not family. I don't think it mattered though.

We say our goodbyes and the second we step outside I see the sign, FOR SALE BY OWNER. How the hell did I miss that coming in??? Tom then says, "OMG you are so f*cking embarrassing! Next time either keep your mouth shut or just assume that every open house we go into is shown by the owners. I can't BELIEVE the things you said in there!"

As we walked to the car Tom went over all of the things I said and I wanted to go back to the house and apologize to the guy. I probably would have if his shit splat house wasn't so outrageously overpriced.

Goldens in Love

This morning on my walk with Wrigs we spotted another Golden walking with its momma across a very busy street. Wrigs of course stopped and refused to move another step and then wagged his tail so hard that it looked like it hurt. The other Golden then sits down and stares over at Wrigs and refuses to move as well. The momma starts trying to pull and tug and this dog wasn't going to budge. I thought about crossing but it was not in a designated cross walk area and there were too many cars and busses whizzing by so I didn't think that would be smart. But it was really cute for those few moments to watch Wrigs and this other Golden stare at each other across this busy city street. It was love at first sight.

When I finally got Wrigs to move he kept turning back to look at his lover (who could be male or female, we're cool either way) and he/she made a few turns of the head to look back at Wrigs. At least this time, Wrigs held off on taking a huge dump but did so once we turned the corner. He's growing into a fine young gentleman.

I hope we see them again.

I want my meat and potatoes...

NOW!

When talking with people who have lived here for a while there is a common theme. Everyone says, "Just wait til July when it really warms up. It stays warm through September!" When I do the math, that's only 3 months of warmth. Now I understand the cold rainy weather that is upon us for the next several months will definitely make me appreciate those 3 months of warmth, but why wait when one could have that 365 days a year!?!? I'm just starting to freak out a bit because I'm really cold all the time and I don't think I'm going to last until July.

To me that's like sticking a nice juicy plate of succulent prime rib with garlic mashed potatoes in front of someone and saying, "Just wait til next Spring to take a bite."


Maybe I should become a Vegetarian. I have a feeling I'm going to be a vegetable for the next 9 months anyway, so what the hell.

I tried to do handstands for you...

...but I can't anymore.

Gary Unmarried

Just watched an episode for the first time and it's really cute!

ferry ride

frozen tid bits

I'm sorting through my box of unmentionables and I leave the bedroom for a few minutes and return to this:

That would be my strapless bra insert inside of Wrig's mouth. He now has a new toy. I'll throw some granny panties for Chum to play with so he's not left out.

Yesterday we spent the afternoon touring Open Houses in Queen Anne. One thing I noticed upon entering each home was that they were soooo warm! I couldn't believe how nice it felt to walk into a home and actually be able to take off your hat, scarf, gloves, etc. I made this comment to one of the showing agents and explained to him that the house we are renting is FREEZING all the time. He asked where it was and I told him and he knew exactly the house we were in and said that it's been on the market for about a year and he has shown it to several clients and that has been the biggest complaint! He said even in the warmer months, the house was still uncomfortably cold. As I type this right now my hands are are starting to tingle. For shits and giggles I took a photograph of the heater that I carry around with me that registers room temperature. He is the temp in the bathroom:


And here is the temp in what was going to be my Craft room/Guest room but decided that it's too uncomfortable for any human or beast to spend more than 7 seconds in here:


Wrigs has been so cold that he lets me bundle him up in his blanket.

He says, "Welcome back KBL!!"

And now for some warmth...

We spent Saturday afternoon with Karen, Gregg and David. We had such a great time and they were fantastic hosts and showed us their adorable, picturesque town. Wrigs even got a glimpse of Latte, their big fuzzy outdoor cat, but Latte was not as keen to make friends right away. He had to be pried from the deck and put inside. Poor guy! But it was quite entertaining to watch Gregg carry Latte like a sack of potatoes into the house. I'm sure many of you have seen the beautiful pictures Karen has posted of her neighborhood and views. They are even more breathtaking in person. Truly a house filled with and surrounded by love and warmth!!!

And for those of you who have been reading blogs for a while, do you know who I saw outside a coffee shop??? Liz from As The Tumor Turns. Crazy thing, this blogging world isn't it?

Karen and I went into this cute little bakery to get some dog treats for Wrigs and we both had a moment of hysterics. Here was their "Fresh Fruit" display at the bakery:


What do you think? Fail blog worthy???

Last night my girlfriend and I were WWW (webcamming with wine) and this is what happened as a result:

Her showing me some yoga poses because Tom told us we were going to get hunch backs from the way we were sitting. Her screen froze on this pose and it made me laugh soooo hard:


Then I was telling her how dirty my hair is (what riveting conversations!) and that I could pull out strands and they would just stick straight out. And here's exhibit A:


She was telling me to "phone home" after this.

Ok, the room has now warmed up to a balmy 58 degrees so I'm going to attempt a shower and a shampoo! Too bad these heaters aren't waterproof.

The Ellen Show

If you guys get a chance to watch her show today, do it! Hilary Swank is on and her intro was hilarious! She is really funny.

Oh wait! I just found a link!

So funny!

Baking for warmth

I have a Pumpkin Spice Cake baking right now and I've spent the last 42 minutes with my face and hands pressed up against the oven. And every few minutes I open up the door and get a heat blast to the face which feels soooooo good. I don't even care if my eye lashes get singed off. This kitchen has a double oven which originally I thought was a complete waste of an appliance but now I'm not so sure. The lower oven could warm my lower extremities and the animals too.

The cake is almost done. The house smells really good. Hopefully it covers up my stank.

Brrrrrrrrr!

I reeeeeeally need to shower, but it's only 37 degrees outside which makes it feel about 47 degrees in our house. Too cold to disrobe and stand under running water.

Thank God for these. I know they're typically used for campers or other outdoor activities devoid of water but they work just fine as a bootleg shower.

Tom's a lucky man.

Sweet Song

Yesterday
I woke up
With your head on my arm
My hand was numb
Circulation gone
But I dared not move the pretty sleeping one

The sun had painted
Patterns on your face
As you breathed Sunday air
You rolled onto
My open arm
I became your pillow; you let me smooth your hair

I will sing you morning lullabies
You are beautiful and peaceful this way
I know you have to close your eyes on everyone
Let me help you, I'll sing you to sleep
With morning lullabies

Let me lie in the curl
Of your body tonight
And I will hear you tumble into sleep
I will watch you heal, watch you heal with me
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

I will sing you morning lullabies
You are beautiful and peaceful this way
I know you have to close your eyes on everyone
Let me help you, sing you sleep
With morning lullabies

I know you have to close
Your eyes on everyone
Let me help you I'll sing you to sleep
With morning lulla-bye, bye, baby
Close your eyes and I will sing you
Morning lullabies
And I will sing you
Morning lullabies

The ugliest pumpkin contest?

I'm not sure what's going on in our little pocket of town but it seems we have been invaded by the world's most hideous looking pumpkins. Either they were painted by apes (using their feet) or...well, I'm not going to say anything offensive. These beauties speak for themselves.






Back in college my friends and I used to prank call the local grocery store this time of year (screaming at the poor unsuspecting soul who had the misfortune of answering the phone) saying their scary pumpkins scared the crap out of our kids and now they won't stop screaming and crying! I would demand that all the pumpkins with scary faces be removed from the store otherwise the school district would boycott the store. And wouldn't ya know it - no more scary pumpkins. I wonder if I should do that now with these pumpkins plastered all over town?? I'm sure that's a great way to make friends.

Tid bits

Some things I've observed/experienced since living in Seattle for almost 3 weeks:

1) Dogs are pretty much allowed ANYWHERE. Even some cafes and coffee shops! Wrigs has already made a slew of friends and LOVES all the treats he gets. Our local bank has a "Dog Wall" of all the doggy customers. It also has a fireplace going at all times. I like that.

2) Not many places serve decaf drip coffee and if you ask for that prepare to receive looks of shock and horror. It's decaf espresso and that's about it. The regular coffee is WAY too strong for me. I won't expand on this but let's just say it's not something I can drink unless I'm in the comforts of my own home.

3) Seattle drivers are a hell of a lot more courteous than LA/OC drivers. Maybe they are just being nice because I'm usually lost and they take pity on the ditzy blond in the convertible with CA plates going the wrong way down a one way street.

4) Vests that are not filled with down feathers are for decoration only. They DO NOT provide warmth. Realized this fact after my 2nd poly-filled purchase. It's worth it to spend the extra money so one does not freeze.

5) Never attempt to grocery shop after 5pm unless you want to play bumper cars in the cluster f*ck maze Trader Joe's calls a parking garage. And if you happen to park at the bottom of a hill make sure you have a good grip on the cart. Those things have a mind of their own.

6) The restaurants here are amazing. I've yet to have a bad or even mediocre meal. At the rate I'm going none of my jeans will fit me by Christmas.

7) Within seconds of meeting someone, they say, "You're not from here." And what usually gives it away is the fact that I'm dressed in a hat, scarf, gloves and winter coat when it's barely 50 degrees. And even then, depending on the wind... I'm STILL cold!

8) The sunny days are absolutely beautiful and I can understand why people love it here so much. Those not so sunny days are still quite a struggle.

Tom and I went for a boat ride...

In extremely cold weather.

Here is the Space Needle in the distance...


Here we are. We were cold. VERY cold...


I tried to warm us up with a few kisses...


But Tom opted for beer instead...


The sun is shining (2 days in a ROW!!!) but I'm just waiting for it to warm up a bit before I walk into town. 40 degree temps are a bit too cold for a stroll in the park. At least soon I'll have a fancy new homemade Karyn original, so I won't have to wear that beaver hat with the ear flaps all the time. Tom's not a fan of it. Especially when I sleep in it.

WHY?!?

I have no idea why, but I CAN'T get this song out of my head today:

I used to LOVE this segment on Sesame Street as a kid especially the part "they talked about the high price of furniture and rugs" (makes no SENSE but it's sooo funny!) but I have no idea as to why this keeps popping into my head.

I haven't seen any ladybugs here.

Yet...

Things are normal

Tom's watching stupid Big Break Challenge 10 Michigan on the golf channel. As he was feverishly searching for the golf channel station I tried to tell him that Comcast doesn't have a golf channel but he wasn't buying it. He's now found it and this will be on our TV at all times. F*cking fantastic.

I can't stop eating these cookies:They taste like those little cinnamon crispy cookies you get on airplanes. And they pair perfectly with a glass of Savignon Blanc. Yes, we are starting to settle into our new life.

Oh! I must share this fabulous conditioner. Since I only wash my hair about twice a week I've not been consistent with my Wen products. Instead I'm using Baby Shampoo to get out the muckety muck and then I condition with Rusk Smoothing Conditioner. This stuff is amazing but impossible to find. I found it at Bellvue Mall in a store called Beauty Works. I went with Tom yesterday and there were only 2 bottles left and he insisted I buy them both so he wouldn't have to hear me bitch about running out of this stuff anytime soon.

He's quite the forward thinker.

I want to say thank you to all of you who have been so kind to leave your comments of encouragement and support. I really appreciate each one. And to Catherine who mentioned a while back about the Dog Park in Magnusson Park, FYI: We went there this last weekend and it was INSANE!!! I have never seen anything like this before. Wrigley could not handle it, he was in paradise running like a wild man from dog to dog! He still didn't make it into the water though, even when all the other dogs around him were swimming. He put 2 paws in and looked at Tom and I like "F**K THAT SH!T!" A retriever that hates water. We're so proud of him.

And Chumley has YET to pee on any of our furniture. However, when I put on my snuggly warm bathrobe this morning something smelled amiss. I took a few whiffs and then realized, "Chumley was here." At least it's not the couch. A bathrobe is much easier to clean.

Extreme Appliance Makeover

This is what we are in need of.

So, we've been living here for a little over 2 weeks now with no microwave- which surprisingly I'm not missing too much, no clothes dryer- I've been doing small loads everyday and hang drying over the heat vent (which still blows cold air, but it's air none the less) and in the last week our guest bathroom toilet has broken, the sink in our bathroom has leaked all over the contents of the stuff jammed in the cabinet below and now today our dishwasher is broken. It's the first time I washed a load of dishes and before I did I said to Tom, "I'm sure this thing won't work." Tom says, "Stop being so negative. Your negative energy makes everything break!" Whatever. I load up the dishwasher.

It actually works fine! I'm relieved and for once, happy to be proven wrong. I head out to run some errands for the day and when I return home a couple hours later I head into the kitchen to unload my sparking clean dishes. I open the door and...

The FLOOD GATES OPENED!

The dishwasher did not drain any water and it was a swimming pool in there. I call Tom at work to let him know that AHA! the dishwasher IS in fact broken! I think I was a bit too excited about this.

So now, we are down one dishwasher.

Tonight I'm making some homemade chicken chili and Tom and I were planning to stay in and have a fire in the fireplace but guess what??? Yep, that's out of commission too. Landlords told us not to have any fires because it has not been cleaned in 6 years and there may be bird nests and debris clogging the flue.

Speaking of bird's nests...


This poor guy flew into our window today. (in case you can't see, it's a little tiny bird resting on our patio chair)

But, it was soooo sunny today that he probably couldn't see where he was going!!!

Critters

We have moths and they are huge! Every night before we go to bed we see them. Tom has been able to catch 3 of them and throw them outside. Tonight's moth is still on the loose. I was unpacking some scarves and wooly wraps and out flapped the furry beast and shot up to the ceiling into the darkened skylight, never to be seen again. I screamed bloody murder, Wrigs jumped off the bed and started barking like a maniac then tried to hump me and then Chum ran in hissing and bellowing like a crotchety old man. Tom shouts, "Everyone in this house makes me CRAZY!" We've all calmed down now except for Chum who is still howling while humping his teddy bear.

I'm sure the moths are keeping the "dandy" long legs company who in turn are tooling around with the army of carpenter ants. We're all just one big happy insect infested family.

Tom just caught the moth! A struggle ensued so he ended up throwing him in the toilet (him, being the moth). Tom came out of the bathroom saying that the moth hit the water then bounced back up and flew away again!! I'm sure he's going to attack us while we sleep with toilet water dripping off his spindly legs. YUCK!

Speaking of YUCK I found my teeth molds from a couple years ago and the last few mornings I've been hiding them in Tom's bathroom drawer. It's the first thing he wakes up to when he reaches for the toothpaste and he HATES it! He told me today that if they are in there tomorrow he's going to throw them against the wall and shatter them to pieces. Maybe I'll just hide them in his work bag instead...

How "not" to meet your new neighbors

Tom and I were taking Wrigs for a brisk walk around the neighborhood. Tom thinks it's funny after Wrigs poops to try and lob his poo bag at my head while we're walking. He's hit me with it once before and even though I think it's disgusting and obnoxious, I can't stop laughing while he does it. I'll run several feet ahead and Tom will launch the poo bag high in the air trying to get it to land on my head. He pinged me a couple times in the leg and back and if I'm quick enough I can grab the bag and launch it back at him. I hit him in the chest then he threw it back at me and it wiffed the side of my face. My last launch was solid but he bobbed his head out of the way and the bag soared over the fence into our next door neighbor's yard. Tom is out there right now trying to scoop it up with a rake or pole of some sort.

I hope to God the neighbor's aren't home and don't see him doing this. How do you explain this one?!?

Just realized something...

Since 2001, here is an outline of our moves:

1)
2001: moved out of our cockroach filled apartment into our first condo in Chicago.

2) & 3)
2002: Tom gets transferred to Minneapolis. We live in corporate housing for almost 3 months then move into our home.

3) & 4)
2003: Tom gets transferred to S. Cal. We live in a co-workers vacant house in Claremont, CA for 2 months then we move into our townhome in Mission Viejo.

5)
2006: We outgrow the townhome and move into our home, still in Mission Viejo.

6)
2008: Here we are now in Seattle.

No wonder I never feel settled. And to think, we'll be moving AGAIN in less than 6 months. My goal is to live with the MINIMUM and be able to pack up all of our belongings into one small minivan (minus the furniture, and animals, and kitchen stuff).

The sun is peeping through the clouds right now so I am going to head outside and do some organizing in the garage. It's 59 degrees today and it actually feels warmer outside than it does in our house! I had a great morning that I must blog about at some point later today. It involved Wrigley and an old blind woman. Melted my heart!

no need for an exterminator

Wrigley gobbles up the carpenter ants.

All I have to do is point and say "ANT!" and away he goes.

It's protein right?

We just returned home from a dinner with friends in town from NYC. It was fun. I much prefer a 10 minute drive home after a night out on the town than a 1.5 hour drive. Benefits of living in the city.

I'm mad at Tom because he organized our hall closet and only put 2 coats in there for me but jammed in 9 for himself!! NOT FAIR!

I have a charity truck coming at 7:30 tomorrow morning and I have to get stuff organized and put into boxes. I really wish I would have done this prior to moving.

Good night!

a few more pics

Can you see Mount Rainier in the distance? Question: Did this mountain get its name based on how rainy it is around here?


Tom and I after a few mojitos and margaritas at a little Mexican restaurant up the street. We were both cold in there too!:


Walking up to the space needle (these pics were taken at 2 pm, doesn't it look like night?):




View from the Needle: