I'm trying to get back the reason I started this blog which was to Live Happy. But it's been a struggle. I reread some posts from this time last year and the person writing back then seems so foreign to me now. I have become someone else who I don't like very much. This isn't me and this isn't who I want to be. I am taking steps to try and get those happy feelings back so I thought I'd put some happy flowers up on here and go back to the old name. We ordered a sun light last night and I've got a call into a psychiatrist. I'm heading into a downward spiral that I'm not able to get myself out of without some help. I've been feeling like this since that fateful day in May when we found out about moving away. I anticipated this depression for months now, but anticipating and actually living in it are very different. The last time I felt this miserable was June 10, 2006 the day my Dad died.
In an effort to try and be happy I am only going to post positive things on this blog and I've moved "Where's the Sun" to a new place where I can unload my negativity and misery. I'll link it in the side bar so for those of you who want to check in and witness all the shit that is stockpiling inside of me, feel free. But for those of you who don't or will be offended by all the bitching and moaning then it's probably not a good idea to visit. I'm not censoring a bit. It's raw, it's real and it's what I feel and need to get it out before I go off the deep end. My goal is try to and post 1 for 1, so everytime I spew out negativity I have to balance it with something positive (as suggested by a caring friend) so that is what I will do. Or try to at least.
So here goes something positive. This morning while watching the Today show I laughed at Matt Lauer's halloween costume. He was an egg: Humpty Dumpty.