mom mail

I'd like to blog about something that I can only refer to as "mom mail". Mom mail comes to me in the form of a sweet little card with smiling cartoon puppies, only to house various articles on "how to survive an anthrax attack" or "woman strangled while riding escalator in long scarf". Here are just a few that I came across while sorting through boxes and tubs of cards and notes since we moved. Will it ever end?!

Often times, she'll scribble little notes around the xeroxed page (my mom also sends these alerts to my sister and cousins)



(FYI, my mom always told me NEVER to put my head under water in a hot tub because my hair would get sucked into the drain resulting in a slow, tortuous death)

(this is good to know seeing we love to pot poisonous plants in and around our home)

The best is when she adds a personal "I know someone who" tidbit onto the page. For example:


Surgery on the leg for strep??? Hmmm. I don't question anymore. I just tell her thanks for the info and myself and my legs will stay away from potential strep carriers.

Oh and then when we moved to S. Cal in '03, my mom sent me this article along with a card detailing that we MUST AVOID DRIVING ON THE 405 AT ALL TIMES!!! She envisioned snipers hiding on the roadside, shooting at cars left and right. (Ok, so she's kind of got a point here.)



And apparently my mom would like us to stop eating fish. I thought fish was good for you?!?!?!




Oh but blueberries are still ok to eat. Phew. I just had some with breakfast this morning.


But I guess I shouldn't have put on any mascara or lipstick. I feel an itchy rash coming on now!


And in case Chumley ever decides to hop a flight he better steer clear of the cockpit:


Seriously this is just too much to think about. It hurts my head. Time for a drink. But not to worry mom - I'll skip the aspirin...

3 little fishies

Tom and I went to a wedding on Sunday...

The centerpieces were floating candles with orchids and one betta fish. As we were leaving we were asked if we would like to take a centerpiece home. I said YES! Tom wasn't so sure but then finally agreed. Then we saw that 2 other fishes didn't have a home so we ended up taking all 3 of them.

Meet Enriquqe, Priscilla and Huey Lewis:


Wrigs saying hello to Enrique:


Chum checking out his new friend Huey Lewis:

I went to the pet store to find out what I'm supposed to do to keep these guys healthy and happy and I asked the "animal specialist" what I needed to do to clean their cages. Yep. I said cages. She said, "Please tell me you don't have your fish in a cage!" I told her no, they are in a vase and then explained that I know NOTHING about fishies. As if she couldn't tell.

Anyway, here's a pic of Huey after his bath:

So far they're all hanging in there. I really hope I can keep them alive for more than a week.

Wrigley loves it when...

Tom picks him up and carries him around:





and then Wrigs carries up his blanket for bedtime:

what kind of poo are you gonna do

Remember this post from a while ago??? Well after today's walk we can add yet another poo style to the mix. I call it "the double sided dildo".

I sh*t you not, this is what Wrigs poo looked like on our walk today (except for the bright blue color)

Anyway, not sure why I felt compelled to share this information on here. It was just shocking and I needed to write about it. Here's the old post for reference in case no one knows what I'm talking about....

(old post from April)

Wrigs ate 3 of my Landjagers that I bought this week at Pike's. Chumley must have knocked them off the counter because there was no other way Wrigs could have reached them. I came downstairs to an empty bag on the floor and Wrigs had a guilty face and a rumbling tummy. There were also tiny bites in the bottom of the bag which makes me think Chum started the whole thing.

Anyway, I've been walking Wrigs A LOT trying to make sure everything is expunged from his system.

When Tom and I walk him together we place bets on what kind of poo he's going to do. As he does his poo walk (he gets his body low to the ground, tail too, and sniffs and sniffs and sniffs for just the right spot) I'll say "Wrigs, what kind of poo are you gonna do?"

I even have some what of a song to go along with it...

One, Two, Do a BIG poo.

Three, Four, Here comes more.

Five, Six, Did you eat sticks??

Seven, Eight, FUMIGATE!!!

So anyway after Wrigs gets into prime pooing position Tom and I will shout out what kind of poo we think he's going to do.

Here are the options:

- the big log (self explanatory)

- hard nuggets (Tom always says, "Hard Nugget Brigade!" when this happens, he made this up himself)

- soft serve swirly cone (think McDonalds)

and finally

- carne Asada or chili Mac (these 2 are often one in the same and can be used interchangeably)

So today, based on Wrigs devouring the 3 giant meat sticks, I assumed (in my head since Tom was not with me) that it would be a Carne Asada or Chili Mac combo. But it wasn't. When I saw the nuggets pop out I was surprised and said aloud to Wrigs,

"WOW! A hard nugget brigade?"

There was a woman walking her son in a stroller just a couple feet ahead of me and I'm not sure if she heard, but I pretended to talk on my blue tooth until we passed her.

I am surprised though that he had hard nuggets. I thought the meat sticks would have resulted in a hot lava flow but I guess not. Maybe there's still more to come.

Happy Father's Day.

the computer class

So today was my first day co-teaching a computer class at the Senior Center (there were 2 of us, thank God.) The class consisted of 9 senior students ranging in age from the mid 70's to early 90's. I know this because the seniors offered this information freely, with much pride in fact. Originally the plan was to show them how to use Microsoft Outlook. We quickly realized that we needed to move onto plan b since about half of them had never even used a computer before. So the lesson went something like this, "this is your keyboard, this is your screen, this is your mouse, oh no don't worry it isn't a live mouse- well, it's just a silly term used in computer lingo - and no the cord is not his tail, but gee, that sort of makes sense now doesn't it - My! My! you are quite clever now aren't you?!?!"

It's amazing how much we, the everyday computer users, take for granted. For instance, when we move our mouse or finger around the touch pad, we don't think twice about an arrow symbol, a little pointy hand, a solid line with the little "t" in the middle or a blinking cursor. We just know what each little thing does without giving it a second thought. So now try explaining those simple, basic symbols to a 90 year old - who has never even navigated a computer before. And THEN try to explain the internet and all of its vastness and capabilities to someone who's used to absorbing knowledge through a card catalogue at the library. It was mind boggling for me so I can only imagine what it was like for them.

stillness

Tom and I just returned from playing a quick game of tennis. Courts are just down the street from our house, and the views are amazing- water and mountains all around. As we're running around the court, huffing, puffing and smacking the ball, I notice the other people around us. They're laying on blankets, sitting on benches, or sprawled out on the bluff by the shore, all just being still, taking in the sights, sounds and smells around them. When Tom and I stopped for a "quick water break" I asked him, "When was the last time we just sat like all these people?" He responded, "Never??" And he's right. For as long as I can remember we have never just sat still, together. We're always doing something, there's never complete stillness whether it be our bodies or our minds. Even if we have a picnic at the beach I would bring a bag of knitting and a book, Tom would bring golf or fishing magazines and of course we'd have our phones. I asked him if he'd like to give this stillness thing a try and bring a blanket and nothing else, (ok maybe a bottle of wine but that's it) and see if we like it. He shrugged and said it can't hurt. Then he said he thought I'd have the hardest time with it and after 5 minutes I'd be ready to go. I told him I'm up for the challenge and will just have to see what happens. Not sure when we're going to try this but I hope it's before the end of the year.

updates

Where have I been lately??? I have not been updating this "online journal" as I need and want to be. Life has somehow gotten in the way. But it's a good thing, because I'm starting to feel like I have one again. A couple of friends and a family member (who I didn't even know read this blog) told me that they feel disconnected from our life because I haven't been updating much anymore. My response, "Get on facebook and you'll know wayyyyyy more than you want to." I guess that's where I've been spending the majority of my online time. I don't want that to take away from blogging but I love how I'm able to stay connected with my real life friends from the past and those I've left behind from the last 3 states we've lived. If it wasn't for that venue, I don't think I could have survived the last nine months.

So I'll try and sum up what's been going on with various snippets:

Chumley:
He was doing great until we had a little gathering at our house last Friday. Our party guests ended up spending the night which infuriated the beast and in retaliation, decided to urinate all over the leather couch, dining room cushion and my portable massage chair unit. We are starting him on another round of antibiotics in the off chance he has a kidney or urinary infection but really, I just think he's being a spiteful son of a B.

Wrigley:
Could not be happier. He is the happiest dog I've ever met. Always so willing to please and just so full of love. Tom bought him a life vest so he could go on the kayak with him. He had his first kayak ride last week and LOVED it! Of course I took some video:



Tom:
Been working hard as always and is so committed to making his business the best it can be in light of these tough times. It's not been easy for retailers but he is confident and willing to do whatever it takes to make sure things turn around. I admire his dedication and wish I had 1/100th of it. Also, two of Tom's best buddies from Chicago are moving out here with job relocations. He is so thrilled about this and I couldn't be happier for him. Kind of strange how things work out.

me:
This past month I've felt great mentally. The weather has been nice and it's helped to quell those dark, depressing thoughts that take over when it's crappy. My physical health however has not been so great. Been having some nasty bouts of digestive problems, so I've made a dr. appt to figure out what can be done. Aside from that, I've been volunteering at a Senior Center and am teaching a Computer class tomorrow. The class will focus on Microsoft Outlook, which I haven't used in 7 years, but I hope it all comes back, just like riding a bike. I've also sent my resume to Microsoft and been in touch with a wonderful woman in their Communications Dept and may have some interesting leads to pursue in the near future.

Ok so now that I've caught up on the boring stuff, I'll go back to posting my usual nonsense. And believe me, there's a LOT more of that to come!!!

Love to all.

Come visit!!!

deep thoughts from the animals

This morning, while lolly gagging around the house with the animals, Tom says, "I wonder what Wrigley thinks about during the day."

I say, "Well that's easy. He's thinking...

'love love love love love love love COOKIES! love love love love love love love WALK! love love love love love love love SNIFF BOTTOMS! love love love love love love love BALL! love love love love love love love CHASE KITTY! love love love love love love love FOOD! love love love love love love love I LOVE MY PIG!'

This led to a conversation about what Chumley thinks about and here's what we believe goes through his little noggin all day long...

"kill kill kill, kill kill kill, PEE ON PILLOWS! kill kill kill, kill kill kill, BITE LEGS! kill kill kill, kill kill kill, HUMP MY BEAR!! kill kill kill, kill kill kill, KNOCK GLASS OFF COUNTER! kill kill kill, kill kill kill SWAT FACES! kill kill kill, kill kill kill FEED ME NOW BITCH!"

Yep, that pretty much sums up my beasts.

3 years ago today...

my Pops died.

I can't believe he's been gone for 3 years. A lot has happened since then, and since we've been going non stop for the last several years, I've allowed other external factors to occupy the sadness of his loss in my mind. But I can recall the day he left this world like it was just an hour ago. Reliving it in my mind makes my chest tighten and my throat close and my head feel a little woozy.

I'm going to sit with my memories for a bit, the good ones, the sad ones and that last day my Dad and I shared together.

I can't stop laughing...

at this card:

more Chum n' Wrigs

(click the pics to enlarge for facial expressions)

Chum: Son of a B! Here she comes with that camera again.

Wrigs: That bright light really hurts my eyes.

Chum: It's called a flash, fool.

Chum: Let's not look at her. Just ignore her and maybe she'll go 

away.

Wrigs: OK.

Chum: Crap! She's still there. And that flash got my eyes too! 

Wrigs: I looked away that time.

Chum: Well good for you. Time for a new strategy...

Chum: Ok, let's look really pissed. The meaner the better, can you do that Wrigs?

Wrigs: I can try.

Chum: Really furrow your brow, and give her your best stank eye.

Wrigs: I'm stanking.

Chum: Scrunch up your face, like you mean business.

Wrigs: I'm doing it.

Chum: Is she gone yet? 

Wrigs: Nope, still there.

Chum: DAMN IT!!!

Chum: New plan. Let's look really bored, like we don't even care about this. Pretend to sleep.

Wrigs: Done.

Chum: I'm just gonna look around the room, dum dee dum dee dum. 

Wrigs: Is she gone yet???

Chum: Lemme check...

Chum: OUCH! My eyes!!! 

Wrigs: I'll take that as a no. 

Chum: This is getting ridiculous. Can't she take pictures of something else??? Why us all the time?

Wrigs: Maybe because she loves us?

Chum: Who knows. Oh wait...I think she's gone!

Wrigs: Nope. Still there.

Chum: I give up.