So this morning I get a call from a realtor and he was extremely difficult to understand and it was quite obvious he was not understanding me either and our conversation went as follows:
realtor (w/ HEAVY Asian accent):
We come by today to see your house.
me:
Ok, can you let me know around what time?
realtor:
Today.
me:
Can you be more specific? Will it be now or sometime later today?
realtor:
We want to view your house. I have clients with me.
me:
(deep breath) Ok, but I need to know what time. I have a cat who is not friendly that I need to put away.
realtor:
What? Does your cat have fleas???
me:
NO! Not fleas! He is not friendly and will just bite people if they come into the house.
realtor:
I need to talk to clients.
me:
(starting to lose it) Can you PLEASE just let me know what time you will be coming??
realtor:
hang on (muffled sound, jib jabbering going on in the background) Ok, we come sometime at 1.
me:
Ok I will make sure and put the cat away. We have a dog too but he is friendly.
realtor:
DOES DOG HAVE FLEAS???
(This is where I wanted to scream, "WHAT THE HELL YOU STUPID F**K!!! NO ONE IN THIS F**KING HOUSE HAS FLEAS!!! AND QUITE HONESTLY, THAT'S THE LAST THING YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT IN THIS SHIT FILLED, PEE DRIZZLED HOUSE OF STANK!")
but instead I screamed:
NO!!! OUR ANIMALS DO NOT HAVE FLEAS!!!! (and yes, I said this in a rather loud, unfriendly tone)
It's now 1:35pm and still no sign of them.
4 comments:
Lovely. I would have been so ILL with them. (ILL --> Southern term for REALLY pissed off....)
too funny.
where exactly does chumley go when potential buyers come to call?
i picture him in a cage in some room hissing and spitting, yowling and groaning at realtors and clients.
bless his widdle heart.
Oh my God. Sorry to be cracking up at your expense. Yes, fleas are a minor nuisance compared to everything else.
"shit filled pee drizzled house of stank" hahahahahahha oh my thats hysterical and also describes my house perfectly!! lol
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