Thursday, April 19, 2007

To be or not to bee...

It's challenging for me to staying focused at home while on the computer, whether it's to blog, or even respond to emails. So this afternoon was crisp and sunny, a perfect day for outdoor adventure. I figured if I left the comforts of home and headed out to a quiet coffee shop with some peaceful outdoor seating, I would separate myself from the many distractions and be able to catch up with email correspondence, blog postings and some journaling.

I was all set. I got my large decaf iced coffee (since it was after 2pm had to switch to decaf) and ordered an egg sandwich to keep myself nourished and packed with protein. There is protein in eggs right? Anyway, I found a great spot (away from the high schoolers ditching class to load up on lattes) and I set up my lap top. I made sure to position it away from the sunlight so I could see the screen without an annoying glare.

Once it was all set I spread out my napkin and placed my sandwich on top and got ready to devour my first bite. Mmmmmm! It was delicious. I washed it down with a big gulp of iced coffee and thought to myself "Why don't I do this more often?"

Well, this could be why...

Right as I'm about to start typing, this big fuzzy bee lands right on my keyboard and would NOT leave!!!! I flicked my straw at him, I tried to shoo him away with my napkin, I even suctioned up some iced coffee in my straw and poured it all over the asshole but the damn thing stayed glued to my front slash key (\)! I was so frustrated and started to get angry with the bee and began to yell at him through clenched teeth, then noticed a few pair of eyes glancing over in my direction. Of course the onlookers couldn't see the damn bee because he was blocked by the screen of my lap top. So to them it appeared as though I was yelling at my computer, which come to think of it, is not at all out of the ordinary.

I finished my sandwich and just stared and watched as the bee rubbed his prickly front tentacles together and then burrowed them in between the little slats on my keyboard. I'm sure he was sucking up the iced coffee that's now formed a gooey paste in between the keys and causes the return key to stick. Maybe the bee even made some honey on my keyboard, who knows.

All I know is that instead of using this time productively for some quiet reflection, I sat tense and nervous staring at the insect trying to mate with my front slash key. I couldn't take my eyes off him for fear that he would fly into my face at any given second and thrust his stinger into my flesh. Finally after what seemed like an hour, Mr. Bumble hovers over the keyboard and smacks his body into the screen a couple times (which made this disgusting clicking noise) then suddenly launches himself right onto the top of my coffee straw.

Without batting an eye, I take this opportunity to swiftly pack up my computer and make a bee line for the car.

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