Friday, November 10, 2006

POO BAG CAPER

Ok so I have ANOTHER poo bag story from today, but this time I was not wearing one in my hair. I'm going for my walk and enjoying the unusually foggy day when just up ahead of me is a man and a woman (without a dog) stopped at one of the public poo bag stations. I watch as the man grabs a fist full of blue poo bags and then quickly starts walking away. He tries to wad them up in his hand but there are so many, maybe about 20 or so, that there is no way to conceal them. I pick up the pace a little and as I pass them I look at the man, then I glance down to his hand holding all the bags and I say, "How Rude." I continue walking ahead of them and I'm just so steamed up. So I call Tom so I can vent to him but he's en route to the office and doesn't hear his cell. Then I call my mom at work and I'm talking LOUDLY so the poo bag thief can hear me. By this time I'm pretty far ahead of them and I tell my mom that I just have to confront them.

So I stop and stay on the phone with my mom as the man and woman approach. I ask them "What are you planning to do with all those bags?" The man keeps walking at a fast pace but the woman stops and says, "Um pardon me?" I ask again, "What are you guys doing with all of those bags?? Those are for people with dogs, so they can pick up their poo along the way. Why did you take so many?" The woman says back to me rather defensively, "Well we use these to pick up poo. We always do this. We're not stealing bags, if that's what you're implying!" I find this extremely hard to believe because who in their right mind picks up other dog's shit as they take their morning stroll? Also I know that the woman is lying because there were a few poo mounds on the side of the grass and even on the sidewalk that they walked right past after stealing the bags.

By now some other people have stopped to listen to our conversation and this whole time the man is not saying a single word. So now I'm even more worked up because not only are these people thieves, they're pathological liars! Trying to stifle my rage, I take a breath and calmly say, "Well I work for the park district and we've noticed that the bag supply has been going down quite a bit lately and we're just trying to figure out the reasons why." Where that came from I have no idea. I felt like I was on poo patrol. By this time the man is yards away not paying any attention to our conversation and the woman then says, "Well that's not what we're doing. We like to pick up poo as we walk along the lake." I just had to walk away after that. Now I've really heard it all. But I sure hope these people didn't see me the other day when I had the poo bag tied around my ponytail.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're like the next Borat.

Anonymous said...

gave me a great idea.... I can go steal those bags and use them for my cat box clean up. My cats have some pretty big poops so these will be perfect!

Thanks for the great idea. Now I don't have to use those darn Albertson's plastic bags that always have big holes in them.

crazy mother in law said...

believe it or not when i was there watching wriggley and chumley i would take plastic bags i saved from grocery shopping and would pick up poo and trash as wrigley and i would walk. it just anoys me that such a beautiful place would be littered.