So I'm at the grocery store yesterday and have an intense craving for some ice cream. I look around at all the choices and my mind is on information overload. As I stand there, freezing my assets off trying to make a decision I think to myself let's try something new. I am somewhat picky when it comes to trying new ice creams and I don't want to spend $6 on a tub of frozen cream that's going to end up tasting like a freezer burned gooey syrup. So I decide on the grocery store brand for only $2.98. It's called Bear Claw and it's rich dark chocolate ice cream with chocolate coated nuts and a caramely ribbon all mixed in.
I scooped out a couple small scoops for a mid day snack and my taste buds were pleasantly surprised. No sooner had I put the finished bowl on the counter for my cat to lick when my stomach started making some rather unpleasant sounds. Then my palms started to sweat and I started to feel light headed. Into the bathroom I go and BAM! Let's just say I don't have to worry about all those fat grams and calories adhering to my thighs. Everything came out just as fast as it went in. I'm not saying this wouldn't have happened with a more expensive brand of ice cream, it very well could have but I have never had anything happen this fast. At first I was thinking I will never eat this ice cream ever again but actually, the more I think about it, it's not such a bad idea. If I get to enjoy the flavor of it, and it satisfies my craving, then really, I have the best of both worlds. I can eat as much as I want and have it slide right through my digestive track, bypassing my ass cheeks and thighs along the way. I like my new found diet, as long as there is a bathroom close by.
2 comments:
eew. way to start out your blog talking about bodily functions!!!! was it you who we were with when we came up with the term "Big Ben"?????
I vaguely recall something about Big Ben. Or am I thinking about the 6 hour car ride and an entire bag of red licorice??
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