"Hi honey, wanted to let you know that I ordered you and Tom some breasts from QVC." (at this point I'm thinking WTF but didn't interrupt, she continues) "They look delicious and should arrive by the 27th. Share some with your friends. They are parmesan breaded chicken breasts." (Thank goodness. I knew at some point this would make sense)
Can't wait for my box o' breasts to arrive!