Saturday, April 18, 2009

been sick

again.

And I realize why.

I am home sick.

The more I go home, the more I realize how much I f*cking hate it here.

I'm sorry. I can't hide it. I will continue to try every day to find something positive about being here but it's been a struggle. Every minute of every day.

I can't fake happiness.

15 comments:

karengberger said...

That is one gorgeous photograph; I can understand missing that. Sorry it's so difficult for you. I hope it will get better, little by little. Maybe the new, sunnier & warmer home will help.

Grazia said...

hi l-
sorry you're feeling down. i'm barely hanging on myself these days. wine seems to help! anyway, hope you are doing okay...i can imagine how you feel. looked at the pics from your trip to la...i was wishing i lived there too.

endswith8741 said...

I'm sorry.

You complain about the weather in Seattle so much, but I know that for how fervently complain there is a deep and loyal love for your husband.

Bridget :) said...

I'm sorry you are so unhappy :( Maybe Tom will agree to a commuter marriage? You guys will just have to buy a weekend home in California!

Catherine said...

I'm sorry, Laura :(

Anonymous said...

I hope you are feeling a little healthier today. How is your ear? When you go to the ear specialist, why not ask him/her to recommend a good PCC, who might then be able to recommend someone to help you deal with your unhappiness. It's absolutely true that some emotional issues can be handled positively with medication or counseling. You are too young, talented, worthy, compassionate, and beautiful to live life not happy! YKW

moooooog35 said...

Surely the Home Depot explosive diarrhea and kamikaze birds give you a bright spot to your day, no?

Michelle said...

Laura,
I'm so sorry to hear you are sick again. It is hard when you just feel that where you are is not where you belong. Seattle is a difficult place to feel at home in regardless, I think, because of how gloomy it is. The scenery is gorgeous, but the rain just brings you down. I don't really have advice, just the offer of a little cyber hug.

Anonymous said...

I love you! you make me happy with your honesty, thank you. I am praying and asking God to bless you with happiness, no matter where you are.... happiness, true happiness must come from within, not from anything on the outside. I love your sweet babies, Wrigs and Chum... they are the greatest and so blessed to have you as their "MOM"!

Smileygirl said...

You guys are so gentle and kind. I feel blessed to know there are good people like you all roaming this earth. You have kind hearts.

Thank you for being a friend, in real life and via this blog.

:)

Anonymous said...

I'm a dork--I guess that was my version of a momism. I mean for your doctor to refer you to a PCP, not PCC. I think PCC a grocery store. Go out today and get some natural Vitamin D. It was good to see you online again!
YKW=you know who, which is TFOLW1GA7C

Take care, breathe deeply and slowly. Have you ever tried hot yoga? My sister-in-law enjoys the heat!

Smileygirl said...

YKW, I figured that's what you meant, probably from years of deciphering the momisms it just comes natural to me now. ;)

I didn't know you were TFOLW1GA7C's! I can see why YKW is a much simpler sign off though!

The sun is glorious today. I am nursing a bit of a fever but am damned and determined to soak up those rays no matter what! And I have my ear appt. for next week and am asking for a referral to a good PCC.

Thanks for your concern and enjoy the beauty of the day.

:)

thepeartreeblog said...

Awww, Laura...

Here's a joke. I hope it makes you laugh.

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems. At home, they were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Smileygirl said...

That's a cute joke. Made me smile. :)

Silent treatment would be hard to do in this house. When Tom and I have a fight it's hard for either one of us to shut our traps.

Anonymous said...

Hi! I randomly came across your blog when Googling homesick, relocation, etc. I grew up in Chicago (now 26), which I love to death, and have all my friends and lovely family there. My husband was transfered to Florida two months ago and I COMPLETELY hear what you are saying. I can never see myself getting used to it here or being away from everything familiar. Thanks for sharing because it helps! You also make me laugh a ton with your cute writing and we have a Golden too. ~Lizzy~