Slew of Momisms

Last week I flew to Chicago to surprise my mom. My sister arrived about 2 hours before my flight was due to land. She flew in from Orange County, into Milwaukee because Southwest doesn't fly to O'hare. Our "scheme" was once she landed she told my mom that one of her bags accidentally got sent to O'hare, where I would be waiting. My mom (who spent years in the travel industry) said, "That's odd! Southwest doesn't fly to O'hare!" My sister said she didn't understand it either but that they needed to drive down to get her bag. Someone would be standing outside holding a sign with her name on it and that someone would be me. As they pulled up to the curb, I held up the sign, covering my face at first and when my mom opened the passenger door she started to say, "Oh, you look so much like...", then she realized it was me and lost it. FULL ON TEARS, then she sat back down in her seat for a few moments, speechless. It was one of the best surprises we've ever pulled off.

We celebrated my mom's 75th birthday and also were there for her cataract surgery. I was able to see Tom's Dad who is back in the hospital (sadly now back in ICU) but overall it was a very productive visit with family.

So here are the momisms from my visit.

-The morning of my mom's eye surgery we took a shuttle van from the hotel to the hospital and as my mom was about to disembark the van she asked the driver if he had a catapult. We think she meant catwalk but not quite sure.

-While filling out the paperwork for her surgery she said "I want to check the box that says do not necessitate."

-After her surgery, the nurse asked her how she was feeling and she kept saying, "I just feel like...punk."

-On the way home from the hospital she was a little out of it in the backseat and out of the blue she says, "I really need to get home so I can make you girls a sandwich!"

-While visiting an open house in her neighborhood she tells the realtor, "I have a friend who will be downloading, so she needs a smaller place."

-She asks me and my sister, "Have you guys seen the movie The Broad Side?" (we both say "No" knowing she meant the Blind Side.)

-Before making a phone call on her home phone she pretended to hit the buttons really fast while squinting into the phone. Then she says, "See? I'm teching, just like you guys do." (she meant texting)

-One morning it was pretty chilly and my mom had on a light weight jacket. I asked if the jacket was warm enough and she said, "Oh yes. And it breaks wind."

-At her follow up eye appointment she told the doctor when she can't see someone's face that well she has to look at them geeky.