Saturday, June 25, 2011

My ex-BFF's

Meet Pepto and Tums, my old travel buddies who never used to leave my side. Until now...

These two fellas were staples in my purse, lap top bag, knapsack, or whatever portable pouch they could squeeze into when I left the confines of home. I've not had a need for them in almost 3 months, 3 MONTHS PEOPLE!! This is a big step and one that I am taking a moment to acknowledge and celebrate.  "Ceeeeelebrate no diarrhea! COME ON!!" (Sorry, couldn't help that sing along.)

And if you're wondering why the portable Pepto bottle has the words "HOLY W..." written in red marker, let me explain. I was visiting my mom a few months ago when I had a typical digestive nightmare as I was leaving to catch my flight. I wasn't able to carry the bottle of pepto on the plane due to its size so my mom looked for a smaller airline approved bottle. She searched the bathroom for trial sized bottles which held hairspray, gel, lotions but she didn't want to put something "edible" into something that housed chemical infused liquids (even after they were washed, dried, re-washed, boiled, etc.) So when she stumbled upon her tiny bottle of Holy Water (because doesn't everyone keep a stash handy??) she said, "Here use this!" (Last I checked my mom was not a man of the cloth nor did she regularly perform exorcisms BUT she was ordained as a Catholic minister years ago and would visit hospital rooms and homes of those too sick for church to administer Communion and sprinkle their heads with the water.)

So now we had to find another contraption for the blessed water which felt more like a twisted game of Where's Waldo. After a while I asked, "Can't we just drink it?" That would be a no. Or, "How about watering the plants? Let's make them holy." Again, not acceptable. I was out of ideas so I think she ended up using tupperware or a plastic zip baggie. When I got to the airport and pulled out my bag of liquids at security of course there's no denying or disguising what that shocking pink liquid really is and as it was sliding down the belt you could clearly see the words HOLY WATER on the bottle. It made me laugh because those who saw it, the gentleman behind me and a couple of TSA agents, probably thought my anti-diarrhea juice held that much importance in my life. Which, it actually did.

But, not anymore!!

(I can't part with the bottle so once I dump the pink stuff I'll make sure to refill it with something as equally deserving as the holy water and shit stopper.)


ChiTown Girl said...

Holy crap!! Well, ok, NOT crap!

I can't believe it's been 3 months. That's a miracle. Maybe the holy water DOES have something to do with it...just sayin'....

I'm SO glad you are FINALLY feeling 'normal' again.

Me said...

Thank you dear! It is a miracle!!