Monday, February 08, 2010

can't believe I'm posting this one

A couple of weeks ago, I had a life changing experience. I'm not ready to publicly blog about it and may never be. That being said, this experience has changed my perspective on life and if anything, it's made me bolder and more honest and these traits are not always welcomed by everyone. And I'm ok with that. If some of my relationships change as a result of how I want/need to live my life then I'm ok with that too. You can't please everyone and why is it we always feel a need to apologize to people for who we are if it's not who others want us to be??? I could write a 20 page dissertation on this alone but that's not what this post is about. No, this post is about one of the most mortifying experiences I have ever had that happened about a month and a half ago. I was too embarrassed to share it then, but based on my new found perspective, I can't waste time worrying about what others might think, plus everyone loves a gross out story, right? But if you are turned off or disgusted and never want to read my blog again, well then that's your choice to make. Normally I would say, "I'm sorry to have offended you" but I'm not sorry for who I am and what life has dealt me.

So here goes...

I wanted to surprise Tom with a bathroom remodel for his birthday. I called the contractor who initially did some work on our house before we moved in to come over and give me a quote on ripping out cabinets, dry walling, tiling and painting. I was so excited because I wanted to have this project completed while Tom was out of town so when he returned from his trip the bathroom would be finished and he would be sooo surprised! I envisioned us frolicking like children in our sparkly new bathroom and him being so proud of my Extreme Home Makeover accomplishments.

So the contractor came out on a Monday, of course it was raining and when he came to the door I walked him up to the bathroom and told him about my grand master plan. The most challenging part of the project was time frames, the whole thing had to be completed in 3 days which as you know, dealing with contractors is a very tall order. But he assured me it could be done and I was soooo happy and practically skipped down the stairs as I showed him to the door. He told me he would send me a quote later that afternoon. We bid our farewells on the front porch, he got into his truck and off he went, down our driveway.

It was garbage day and I noticed some papers and things in the driveway, that must have spilled out from the can. I went back inside to put on a coat, gloves and some boots, and then went back out to collect the spilled trash. Only it wasn't just your everyday trash. It was the bag that was in my bathroom the past week, that had been chewed open by a raccoon or some other rodent and the contents of the bag were ALL OVER MY DRIVEWAY. Did I mention it was that time of the month???

The side of my driveway, all the way up to the front porch was completely littered with tampons, tampon applicators and maxi pads. Many of the pads had been opened and were stuck to the driveway. And apparently the rain caused the pads to react like a sponge so they grew in size with their contents dripping down the driveway. Our contractor literally had to step OVER bloodied pads and tampons to get to our front door. I practically fell to my knees in shock. I frantically started to pick it all up like it was some sort of psychotic easter egg hunt when a friend of mine pulled up in our driveway. She said, "What are you doing out here in the rain?" And when I told her what had happened she tried to be consoling and comforting but then her face cracked and she couldn't contain her laughter. I told her I'm canceling the job, as much as I wanted this to be Tom's gift, I just could NOT face the contractor again. For all I know he still may have a pad stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

I ended up canceling the job later that night (via email because I couldn't stand to talk to the contractor "live") and I continue to pray to God that I never run into him again. As for the bathroom, I've decided to tackle this project on my own. (Tom doesn't know that yet but he will when he returns from his trip to find the bathroom in shambles).


ChiTown Girl said...

If ANYONE had posted this, I might have been taken aback. But, not you, my sister. This is just another typical day in the life of my Smileygirl!!

Smileygirl said...

albeit, a bit more mortifying than normal!! I just talked to your BYFFI cousin today!!! I miss him so much!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh...only to you would this happen...that is freakin' hilarious! Only because it wasn't me :)

Anonymous said...

Oh me. I can't believe you canceled. You even have a blood blog!

karen gerstenberger said...

You are one in a million, and as Billy Joel says, "I love you just the way you are!" XO

Keep moving forward said...

i know this might sound odd. But thank you for posting that!!i Just had a horrific conversation with my mother and your post made me laugh!!! So THANK YOU!!!
ps i am sorry that happened, but maybe you weren't suppose to have that specific contractor. Maybe it would have ended being a bad time of the month for pun intended..ok maybe a little:)
good luck!

Lizy said...

O Laura... I crying of laughter. I'm so sorry you had to experience this but thank you for sharing! You are my little hero!

lizziebelle said...

i dont blame you for not calling him back. i get so embarrassed and shy about about stuff that it paralyzes me. the easter egg hunt analogy was priceless.

Kay said...

I laughed so hard at work that my male co-worker came to see what was so funny. I sent him your blog and now you have anothr fan. This is just what I needed to start my day. Thank you for your honesty!

Anonymous said...

I was going through FB e-mails and clearing them out, but couldn't press the delete button on this story!! Glad you're putting it on the blog for everyone to see! Some stories are just wasted when you keep them to yourself. Thanks for the laugh...again!!!!

Smileygirl said...

I have no shame, really I don't. We need a wine date. How about now?

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Hello, dear old friend. I must say... this post made me LOL. In fact, it made me ROFLMAO. Hilarious, HILARIOUS stuff. Blogging GOLD. :)

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glad it made you laugh Tracey. But how completely mortifying!!!!

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