momism

My mom says to me on the phone: "Did you hear that Banks Beetle is going out of business?"

My brain goes into overdrive quickly trying to scan company names that sound even remotely close: Birkenstock? L.L. Bean?? Bank of America?? BEETLEJUICE!?!? I GIVE UP.

me: "What kind of store is it?"

mom: "You know, they sell jewelry."

me: "Ohhh, Bailey Banks and Biddle."

mom: "Right. They're going out of business."

Then later in the conversation she warned me to avoid buying precious gems or stones at Macy's because they are fakes. Good thing she caught me in time because I was just on my way out to buy myself a ruby tennis bracelet.