Monday, February 05, 2007

2 simple things that I DREAD

Going to the bank. Getting gas in my car. Why? Because inevitably something goes wrong. I'll start with the bank.

The closest drive up bank from my house is 7 miles away which is about a 15 minute drive. Maybe I've seen too many bank robbery movies, but I've always preferred drive up windows as opposed to long lines inside the bank. It just makes me nervous. I look at everyone suspiciously and if I can't see both hands at all times, I start to panic. So I opt for the drive up window even though the service at my bank is deplorable. I dread it because after one incident I am certain the bank employees see my car coming and frantically flip coins (I'm sure they have plenty lying around) to see who will have to wait on me.

This particular time was before Christmas and I was rushing around doing last minute things and stopped to make a deposit and get some cash. I had rung the teller button several times to no avail so I just sat and waited and waited. SEVEN minutes go by and still nothing. I quickly beep my horn. Nothing. A few more quick beeps, nothing obnoxious, just fast little toots to make them aware of my presence. Still nothing. It's now been TEN minutes and I watch as my gas indicator light flashes on "E". I become more frazzled and start saying "Hello? Hello? Hello?" while pressing the call teller button at least 12 times. Still no response. I can't take it anymore and I can feel my patience level bubbling over so I just BLAST my horn non stop. The sound is deafening and starts to hurt my ears so I roll up my window and then begin to laugh while I'm doing this because I think to myself, "Oh my God, this is what a psychopath must feel like!" I keep the horn blowing for a good minute and then stop. I wait a bit and STILL NOTHING!

Now I'm afraid I'll run out of gas so I shut off my car. I sit for about 30 more seconds and then start round 2 of horn honking hell. This time I let the horn go for so long that it makes me dizzy. I am craning my neck to see if there is any movement whatsoever in the bank and then finally a man comes rushing to the window. He does NOT look happy. I lay off the horn and try to regain some composure. I can't hear what he's saying so I start to tell him that I've been waiting for almost 15 minutes and then realize my window is up. I try to put it down but it's not working and then I remember I shut off my car so I turn on the ignition and then put down the window and tell him that I've been waiting for a long time and am about to run out of gas. He barely lifts his head to acknowledge me and then another bank employee rushes to the window, looks at me and then turns away. The man says nothing to me as he finishes up my transaction and I thank him as I collect and count my money. Once I drive off I can see him shaking his head while talking with the other employee who ran to get a look at the horn honking psycho. Oh well, I think. Let them have their laugh at my expense. It's not like they know where I live.

This was not my intent with this post. I was going to talk about what happened TODAY but instead I relived that whole debacle and I'm too worked up to blog about today's episode at the gas station. What I'll do instead is just cut and paste the e-mail I sent to my friend about it earlier. It's much more concise and to the point. I tend to ramble on this blog anyhow. So here is part of the e-mail:

---Oh and I went APESHIT at the gas station today. First I went to the bank, waited at the drive through you know how I love that. Literally have .08 of a tank of gas left. I stop at the gas station on my way home and I try TWO pumps, BOTH OF WHICH WERE NOT ACCEPTING ATM CARDS!!! I WAS SOOO PISSED! The gas station was sooo crowded so I'm pulling away from one pump that didn't work to pull up to another pump while other people are waiting and already thought I got gas but I didn't because the BLASTED THING DIDN'T WORK!! I was trying to tell these people that I still hadn't gotten gas and I had to use the other pump but my voice was not loud enough (lost it from screaming during Superbowl) so people are cutting me off and giving me dirty looks and literally veins are popping out of my neck as I'm trying to explain but no one can hear me!!! I SCREAMED F*CK THIS!!!! But it was like a mouse whisper and I got back in my car and drove off, still on empty. OMG I am getting mad again.
OH and there is more to the story. It's that time of the month and my 'you know what' was coming out and I was in a mad rush to get home and---

I think I'll end it here. Sorry to any fellas who may have been reading that last bit. But it's a part of life for us ladies, no sense denying it. Also helps explain my impatience and irritability.

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