No presents under the tree...

unless we can stop Chumley from peeing all over the tree skirt. I caught him in the act this morning. As far as I know he has NEVER peed on the tree skirt during the 12 years we have had him. This is something completely new. This cat never stops surprising me that's for damn sure. I had just let Wrigley out to do his business and I walked into the living room and there was Chumley all hunch-backed in deep concentration, pissing all over the tree skirt (which is actually one of my favorite tablecloths that I use as a tree skirt for the holidays). It's the only good (read expensive) tablecloth I own. I immediately scream at him and he just looks up at me, squeaks out a few final squirts and then starts pawing at the tree skirt like he does with the litter in his box after he empty his bowels. I am screaming at him to stop and he just continues along like I don't exist. I lunge forward and try to grab him but he darts under my legs and runs into the kitchen, of course right on the countertops. I chase after him and wave my finger into his face (which he HATES) and yell "NO! NO! Noooo Pee Pee under the Christmas Tree!!!" He hisses back at me and swats me so hard with both of his pee paws! This cat has absolutely no fear.

By this time Wrigley is barking obnoxiously at the back door because he can hear me yelling at Chumley. Of course he doesn't want to miss out on all the fun, so I open the door to let him in and he instantly dashes over to the tree and starts sniffing and licking the spot where Chum peed. I have to pry him away with all my strength because I was afraid that he was about to mark this spot as his own.

(Update)

Literally 10 minutes after I typed that last paragraph Wrigley (while in the living room with me playing with his Kong) dropped his toy and started to hunch over like he was going to take a dump. I screamed at him and rushed him outside but he just peed. He has not had an accident in our house since he was potty trained at 2 months old. Maybe he figures if Chumley thinks this house is one giant cat box, then he's entitled to the same rights. The last thing I want is a battle of the bladders between these two. I hope I don't have to cover our entire house in shower curtains. Now when you walk into our home you are overcome by the fragrance of winter evergreen with just a subtle note of cat pee.