The shit machines.
Now, I mean that in the most endearing way, really I do. I LOVE my animals and everything about them but OH HOLY HELL I don't think it's possible for them to crap anymore than they do.
While I was listening attentively to a conference call (where others just LOOOOOVE to hear themselves squawk) I decided to have some fun with my calculator and figure out how many poops I've cleaned up between the two of these blessed beasts.
And here's the result:
So let's say on average Wrigley poops two times a day. This is pretty conservative because at times he can poop 3 times on one walk but I'm going to keep it simple with just a 2 poop average per day.
So that's 730 poops a year, and he's been around 5 years and 3 months bringing his grand poop total to: 3830 poops that I (or the husband) have schlepped around in baggies or tossed out with scoopers.
And then...Chumley.
This cat can easily pinch off 3-5 logs a day but some of his turds are little nuggets so I won't count those and stick with an average of 3 times a day for this bomb dropper.
That's 1095 poops a year, he's been around 16 years, 7 months bringing his poop count to 18,780.
Add the two together and we have a whopping total of...
(ok I feel like there needs to be a drum roll here so just imagine one in your mind for the moment)
DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...
a whopping total of....
22,610 POOPS!!!
AND COUNTING!
Ok so now can you understand why I call them the shit machines!?!? Feeling really sorry for landfills at the moment.
3 comments:
You need to have more conference calls, cuz it brings out the most interesting trivia. I just hope you don't try to figure out the number of your own poops next. The calculator will blow up!!
Hahaha!! I love this.
This is one of my favorite posts ever. May be because I can relate to it! Thanks for the laugh.
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