Monday, February 28, 2011

yucky stuff

For a while now, I've been meaning to write a follow up from my original posting (almost one year ago!) on my lovely condition called, redundant colon.

And as I sit here now, trying to breathe deeply through the pains of yet another attack, I figure now's a good time to update.

Like most people who have this, there are good days and bad days. I have a hard time sticking to any sort of routine, so I bet if I was better about this, there'd probably be more good days than bad. This past Saturday Tom and I met a friend in town then went to lunch in the city. Since we were over our 5 mile radius from home, I was very careful about what to order. I had some pita bread and veggies and light hummus. Tom had this nasty looking stew that smelled like dog food and some special IPA beer. I sipped my plain iced tea and ate my pita and then Tom asked me to taste his beer. It was a restaurant special that was unfiltered and unpasteurized and it just didn't taste right. I had about 3 sips total, (just to confirm that I really didn't like it) and by the time we left the restaurant I could feel my stomach start to churn. By the time we pulled into the driveway, it had blown up like a balloon. I have no way of knowing if it was from the beer alone or if it was a combo of everything else and the beer just tipped the scale. We had plans that evening with friends and as I was getting ready for the night the sharp, stabbing pains in my ribs and belly began to get worse. I did not want to cancel but I knew it was going to be an uncomfortable night. My stomach was making these alien sounds and it looked like there was a nice sized cantaloupe under my shirt. I changed my clothes and drank some tummy tea and sat for a bit just breathing through the pain (like I'm doing now) and then my husband, who is usually very understanding when these things happen, was growing impatient and says to me, "Would you just go to the bathroom already!?!" I had some choice words for him.

What I'm finding out is that most people with redundant colon have days or even weeks of constipation. That is not typically what happens to me (except when I travel). My norm is that I have these blow up moments and severe pain and then it's like a ticking time bomb as to when the explosion is going to happen. So I can't just "go to the bathroom" on command, but once I start to feel those little spastic sensations I better get to a bathroom quick. It's kind of similar to a roller coaster ride. The car goes through lots of loops and twists and turns (that's where the pain comes in) and then it slows down and climbs uphill, up and up and up at a slow moving pace and then it finally reaches the top and then full speed ahead slams down the tracks with intense force and there's just no stopping it. You get the picture.

As I've mentioned in my previous post the Dr. prescribed Dicyclomine which has pretty much lost its effectiveness. There have been times when I'm out in a public place and the pill doesn't work so then I pop a Zantac, chase it with a Mylanta and then start chewing Tums like candy but at that point, I'm doomed.

I decided to share a list of food items that have triggered some major issues, usually within minutes of consumption. For those of you also suffering through this, maybe you noticed similar reactions to these foods:

-milk and cereal together (separate they are ok, dry cereal and juice is fine, milk alone is fine)
-cooked onions and garlic together in a dish, whether it's pasta, chicken, fish etc.
-warm, drawn butter
-wheat toast and coffee together
-soda and popcorn together (think movie theater, NOT GOOD!)
-any type of cream based soup
-any type of artificial or sugar free sweetener
-sushi with a mayonnaise based sauce
-chicken, egg or tuna salad sandwiches
-poultry, pork or meat with seasonings, like Lawry's or Peri Peri rub, anything with spices

It took me a while to put the milk and cereal combo together which looking back now, should have been a no brainer. One would think that it was a lactose/gluten intolerance since but I can have either of them separately without instantaneous issues, it's not the case. I was tested for Celiac back in the summer of 2009 and it came back negative, however, my doctor told me the results are only about 75-80% accurate and you're supposed to consume gobs of gluten for about a 2 week period prior to the blood test so who knows. There could be a bit of intolerance there but the only way to officially find out is to have an endoscopy which I decided was not something I needed to do at this point. Getting roto-rooted from one end is enough for now.

I've tried some different herbs and natural remedies for blow up days and one thing that I wanted to share was this tummy tea. It's specifically formulated for IBS pain, spasms and cramps (accidentally typed craps at first, which is also fitting!) and has brought some relief on the bad days.

So that's my update, thanks for reading and for fellow sufferers please know you are not alone.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

another bizarre dream

Been having quite a few strange dreams lately - I wish I documented all of them but some are just too messed up to put into words. Anyway here's one that I did try to write out in as much detail as I can recall but describing it on paper doesn't do it justice. At least this way it gets out of my head so I'm not thinking about it too much...

My family and I were on a road trip. My Dad was driving, my mom was in the front, I was sitting in the back behind my Dad and my sister was next to me. At parts we were driving through reddish brown mountains, looked like maybe Wyoming and then in parts we were on flat highways. It was summer time, we had the windows down, a breeze kept blowing my hair in my face as I stuck my head out in the sun. I was eating sour candy (like lemon heads) and my hair kept sticking to my lips and cheeks because I had candy all over my face. My parents were acting silly and waving to cars with cute boys in them to embarrass me and my sister. There were a bunch of cyclists on the road and my Dad was going really fast, my mom kept saying, "slow down". They were bickering about his driving and then we hear sirens and my Dad is getting pulled over. We pull into this tube type of thing, almost like a tunnel but it was smooth all around like a cylinder. We weren't even touching the ground, the tires were suspended in air in this tube. The policeman comes to the window and talks to my Dad about sports. They talk about world series, MVP's from years past and their favorite teams. We're all relieved because it didn't look like he would get a ticket and then he tells all of us that we have to get out and push the car out of this tube all the way til the next exit instead of giving us a ticket. He said it's the law because my Dad was going too fast and pushing the car makes people realize they need to slow down and will never want to speed again. We all get out of the car but our feet couldn't touch the ground so we're holding onto the doors and the roof of the car and are pedaling our feet like we're riding a bicycle in mid air. My Dad said we need to paddle so we used our free hand to make swimming motions and then we started moving. When we get out of the tube it's pouring rain and we have 3miles to push the car and I tell them I'm too cold and get back inside the car. My family is still out there pushing and I yell at them saying that Dad should be doing this, he was the one speeding why should we do it! Then my sister hops in the car and after a little bit so does my mom and they are soaking wet, making the seats all wet like sponges and we try to use wet naps to soak up the water but they just break apart and leave white bits everywhere. The rain stops and the horn starts honking on its own which signals that my Dad can get back in the car and drive.

Now the sun is so bright and all at once there are so many cyclists on the road again. They are not off to the side, they are riding in the same lanes as the cars on the highway so cars have to swerve out of the lane to avoid them. My Dad swerved and then ended up in the grass where there was a farmer's/flea market set up and people were everywhere shopping and drinking out of big red cups. My Dad swerved again to avoid hitting the people and then there was a giant tractor type vehicle with HUGE tires just parked on the grass, my Dad swerved to avoid hitting the tractor and now we were spinning out, back on the highway and he screamed HOLD ON and and we kept spinning, avoiding a bunch of cars and to the left a school bus comes speeding towards us and we all scream OH NO OH NO OH NO and then the bus slams into our car. The car felt like it was floating on air and there was no sound of the engine, everything was quiet. We all look around at each other in disbelief because no one is hurt or bloody or scratched. My Mom and Dad turn back to me and my sister and say YOU'RE OK? WE'RE ALL OK?? And we all start saying how we can't believe we made it out of that and we saw the bus and felt the crash but yet we're totally fine.

Now I'm inside a big box style house with dark hardwood floors dark wood all over the windows and doorways. There are white flowy curtains on the windows and they are blowing in the house from the breeze. I walk down the stairs, the stairs are very cold, I'm bare foot and each step seems colder than the next, like a piercing pain of cold through my foot. I hear piano music and I follow it into a big room and there is my mom with her back to me playing the most beautiful piano song. I stand there are watch her, her back flowing and moving in motion with the key strokes. There's a filminess in the air, almost like looking through a vaseline covered lens and the room is so dark but as I get closer I start to see things more clearly. Her hands are very frail and boney and as she continues to play the side of her face, her jaw to her eye socket crashes down on the piano keys. It is just the bone, with half a set of teeth and she continues to play the piano with half of the skull laying across the keys. I realize her hands are just a skeleton and I run out of the room then out of the house screaming. I hear my Dad cutting the grass and it's so bright out my eyes can't adjust and I'm squinting trying to get to him. I keep screaming for him but the noise of the mower is so loud. He finally shuts off the mower I tell him what happened to Mom and he just stares at me. I scream GO INSIDE HELP HER! and he turns away from me and starts walking down the street like a zombie and soon he just disappears into thin air.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day

You know your husband loves you when he comes home with chocolate and says, "This is for you, I promise I won't eat it. I'm putting it inside your period jar."

(yes I have a "period only" candy jar that I make sure is stocked during that blessed time of the month.)

Happy Valentine's day to all!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

I may just have... unhealthy obsession with the Avocado.

And who knew there were so many different varieties to choose from???

(click to enlarge - if you so desire)

I mainly purchase the Hass but am going to try and sample as many different kinds as I can. Add that to your bucket list and smoke it.


Early in the new year we bought the P90X system in order to get stay in shape and I have to say so far the stuff works great...for book ends. The stacks of CD's and work out booklets haven't left the shelf we placed them on since we unpacked the box. A typical Saturday afternoon goes something like this,

Tom: We should get off the couch and put on the P90X dvd.

Laura: (swaddled up in a blanket) I'm too cold.

Tom: Ok, well then we should just put on the intro video to see what we're supposed to do.

Laura: But I'm hungry.

Tom: Ok...then, we should head out to happy hour and get a burger. Half-off beers start in 20 minutes.

Laura: Where are my shoes?

We love P90X.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Double Dream Hands

In case you haven't seen "Double Dream hands guy" and his videos check this one out:

My idea for a fundraiser at the senior center is to get a group of seniors to learn this dance, of course they'd be dressed in yellow polos and khakis, and we'd have it filmed. Working on this...

In the meantime here's an action shot of me dancing to Saturday Night Fever at last week's dance.

From the looks of this photo, I don't think there'll be a problem recruiting for this video.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011


While watching Jeopardy if I shout out an answer and it's wrong but one of the contestants also guesses the same wrong answer I still feel like a smarty because at least my thought process is in line with a Jeopardy contestant.