Green Tea Lattes are BACK!

Remember my obsession with these???

Well I bought some raw matcha green tea powder at the grocery store (it's not cheap, sells for $83 a pound, I only got $5 worth) but it lasts forever! You only use about 1/4 a teaspoon per glass.
I add about a teaspoon of warm water to dissolve the powder, before I add the milk and ice. Then I add some Agave Nectar to sweeten it up a little.

And it's just as good as the Trader Joe's mix, and a I'm guessing a lot healthier too.

I'm not the only one who's thrilled about this...

A real life Angel

Rebecca's visit

Here are a few pics from Rebecca's visit. The weather cooperated the last couple days of her visit and in the pics you will see more sunshine! We didn't take too many pics though, we mostly hung out by the fire, catching up in the evenings and during the days we were on the go. If only she lived here. It would definitely make those cloudy days brighter.

We found some cute orange hats to try on. They were all over the city.

Wrigley getting loved on.

Wrigley enjoying the love.

Wrigley returning the love with some kisses.

Here are some extremely rare photos, probably NEVER to be seen again...

Yep, that's Chumley.

He's known Auntie Rebecca his whole life, so it's only fitting that after 14 years, he sits on her lap.

And then there's Wrigley.

Chumley and Wrigley want her to come back again very soon. They have been mopey boys since she left. They always get that way when company leaves. My mom comes into town on Thanksgiving day so that should perk them up again. And me too. I'm really missing my family and friends. I hate living so far away. Hitting me hard this week.

Wrigley the lap dog.

have to get this out

This morning I woke up feeling very uneasy. Like something major and life changing is lurking in the not so distant future. I'm thinking that maybe if I get this out and off my chest nothing bad will happen but it's a very strong sense of impending doom that I can't explain. I have felt this way, this strongly, one other time in my life. I won't say when.

These are challenging times that we're all facing and I pray that those of you reading this right now are safe, healthy, warm and find something to smile about every day.

Here is my smile for today. (I've probably watched this 20 times. I love the momma's reaction)

question

What the hell does it mean when the head up his ass weatherman says, "Rain turning to showers by late afternoon." What's the difference?

There's also sprinkles, drizzle, buckets, cats and dogs, etc. but this I'm not so sure about.

FYI, I would prefer it to really rain cats and dogs (instead of this nasty wet stuff) but only if they landed on their feet.

Cat, Interrupted

(trying to capture footage of him "in the act" but Wrigs always kills the mood)

Today I fell...

Into the Sound.

Just kidding!

My friend Michael is here visiting from California and we pretended to fall into the water. Surprisingly, no one came to our rescue.

He found what looked to be a shark's tooth in the water so of course he had to stick it in his mouth.

We tooled around West Seattle and somehow ended up in New York.

Of course we paid tribute to Lady Liberty by holding our Green Tea Lattes high.

Today was very cold, especially by the water but yesterday was BEAUTIFUL.
60 degrees and sunny all day. We walked around Pike's Market and had lunch at a Thai restaurant. Even though it was chilly, I took off my coat and wore short sleeves. I needed to feel the sun on my skin again.

It felt really nice but I'm paying the price today.

My throat is sore and I can't stop sneezing.

Sorry Michael, doesn't look like we'll be sailing tomorrow...

House update:

Tom and I are putting an offer on a house in W. Seattle tomorrow morning.

Here's a gorgeous view facing the city (not from the house).

I'll give more details on the house (and also the fact that Tom has not even been inside) at another time. Michael leaves tomorrow then Rebecca comes out to visit tomorrow night. We haven't seen each other in over a year and are celebrating our birthday months and I can't wait!

Maybe that's why I can't sleep.

uncircumcised

Tom had a "hard" time eating his sausage this morning.

Chum & Wrigs

"Pssst. Hey Wrigs. When she's not looking, you grab the camera, and I'll piss all over it."

"Hahahohohehe!" Oh my brother from another mother!
You really are a funny beast."

"What??? There's nothing to see here."

more kid stuff

Tom and I ate breakfast at a cute place in town and we sat by the window to watch Wrigs who was outside. This little boy (probably 3 years old) was walking outside with his family and comes rushing up to the window, smushes his face up to the glass and stares down Tom. Tom smiles at him. The kid is stone faced. Tom waves. Still not even so much as a blink from the little guy. I ask Tom, "Do you think he has problems?" Tom says, "Nah. He's just shy." The kid starts banging his head into the glass, hard, while grunting. I say to Tom, "Sure about that?"

Kids are strange.

You'd never guess I don't have children

Conversation with my friend's daughter about Thanksgiving. She's 5 years old:

Samantha:
I'm really excited to eat turkey!!!

me:
Turkey is great! Do you help mommy cook in the kitchen?

Samantha:
Not really I just like to eat. I don't know how to cook!

me:
Oh it's really easy. You just have to play around with the stove and stick things in the oven. (F*CK! Did I really just say that to a 5 year old?)

Samantha:
Stoves are HOT! I don't touch them!

me:
Good girl. Just making sure.

Parenting is hard.

Praying for Rain

In Southern California.

California Wildfires

So worried for my family and friends. Looked like it was going to be a fire free year too. Temps in the 90's with 84 mile an hour winds and no humidity is not going to help. Praying for everyone who is affected by this right now. I feel so helpless.

mish mosh

I need to make labels for my posts because I was trying to find that story about the woman who was stuck to the toilet for a year and I couldn't. Should I retro-activate labels for all my old crap or just start fresh now? I'm sure I'll make labels for all off 3 posts before I decide this is annoying.

Since we downsized quite a bit for this move I've been using storage bins to store extra handbags, shoes and what nots. When I lifted the lid, I saw this pic:


Thank GOD for the visual aid because I would have never known that closing a baby inside a plastic box was not the right thing to do.

In this house we have a saying...

"Rakes are for p*ssies"

Ok we really don't say that we just have t-shirts. But seriously, as you can see we're not used to raking up our leaves.

Whenever I start to rant about something Tom doesn't agree with he says, "Go Pound Sand." I try not to laugh but I do because I visualize some idiot with a giant blow up hammer banging on the sand. But now when Tom says it I come back with, "Ok fly me back to California and I'll pound the beach all day." That usually ends the discussion.

At Starbucks this morning I saw a woman who I think had Hoof to Mouth disease. It was really uncomfortable to look at. It was like cottage cheese type skin (that was red raw and cracked and oozy) covered one whole side of her mouth. She was directly in my line of sight so it made it impossible to eat my oatmeal. I feel bad even mentioning it on here because she was soooo nice and just when I told myself "OK, You can do this. Just don't glance over in that general direction." She strikes up a conversation about the hat I was wearing and when I told her I knitted it, it led to several more questions and that's when I capped my oatmeal. Sort of like putting the nail in the coffin, the oatmeal was capped. The woman was really old, like probably 90 so I need to not talk about this anymore because she was just too sweet.

Tom worked late tonight so I ate Trader Joe's Triple Berry O's for dinner. Without milk. How sad is this, our house is so fricking cold that adding cold milk to my cereal makes me even colder so I ate my cereal dry. Without a spoon. I still have the oatmeal from this morning in the fridge but every time I think of it I now have a visual of the Hoof to Mouther.

The word "constipated" is not in predictive text on my phone. And although I don't type it all too often, when I need to do so it takes up too much time. Diarrhea, however, is in there. I guess if I had to choose between the two I use the latter much more often than the former.

Wrigley Ramblings

I walked Wrigs this morning and this woman randomly stops us on the street (which is not unusual) and begins to shower Wrigs with kisses and pets, which he willingly accepts. We're casually making small talk and then she starts to massage Wrigs back and hind quarters. I'm thinking this is kind of getting weird and the woman says, "He eats too many Cheerios." I said jokingly, "Well that's why we're on our walk." And then she says, "Someone needs a diet!" Seriously? Did you just call my dog fat? If we're gonna start throwing insults then you need to get your teeth fixed. And you know what else??? Maybe if it didn't RAIN 14 DAYS STRAIGHT we'd all be out getting more exercise you crazy toothless RAIN LOVER!!! I didn't say any of that of course, I just smiled pleasantly and thanked her for her unsolicited observation on my dog. Crazy bitch.

Then while on the same walk just a few blocks later this woman comes up and greets Wrigs all excited and animated so he starts to jump up on her. I say, "No jump!" She looks at me and says all teacher like, "Instead of saying 'No Jump' tell him 'Good Sit' when he sits. Use positive reinforcement when training a dog." WTF are we in Pet Smart??? And how the hell did I make it past 30 without this KNOW IT ALL in my life?? Next time, don't run up to my dog like you've just won the f*cking lottery and perhaps he will "GOOD SIT" for you.

What's with all the Dog Whisperers in this town???

Here's another sad Wrigs pic from the other day, while watching the rain drops fall. His chin is resting on the window ledge. He knows how to play the pathetic card a bit too well.

Sunny day 2

UPDATE:

Stupid shit for brains head up his ass weatherman lied this morning. There was not a SPECK of sun to be found today. It wasn't nearly as dark as it had been the other days but still, NO sun whatsoever. I take back all my hallelujahs from this morning and replace them with a shaking fist to the sky! Sons of bitches!!!!

---------------------------------------

Tom and I just watched the weather report and it's supposed to be partly sunny/no rain all thru the weekend! We both broke out into song:

"Haaaaaa-llelujah!! Haaaaaa-llelujah!!"

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"

"Halleeeeeeluuuuujah."

Wrigs turned his head to look at us mid song, and had that WTF? expression written all over his face. Soon he'll be rejoicing right along with us when we go for our 10.2 mile walk. Have to make up for lost time.

Did anyone see the story about the balloon ride crash in Yuma, Arizona? Scary indeed and thankfully no one was injured, but our crash 5 years ago was WAAAAAY worse. If we caught it on film we so would have made it on the Today Show.

They also showed the giant Christmas tree hauled in on a flat bed to Rockefeller Center. The tree was 80 years old and it was so sad to see it lying dead on the truck. I really think the city should construct an artificial one. If one can make a giant penis I'm sure it can be done.

Facebook in Reality

If FaceBook was Real Life:

happy days are here again

OMG ENRIQUE IGLESIAS IS ON THE TODAY SHOW AND HOLY BAG OF DONUTS HE IS SOOOOOO INCREDIBLY HOT!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT! Where's Wrigs pedi paws? I'm just kidding but seriously, this man is super fine. And I love his new song.

And dumb asses on the today show NEED to get his name right! There is no "N" between the "I" and "G" of his last name. If I hear someone say INGLESIAS one more time I will shove my fist into their mouth. Even if I have to fly across the country to do so.

Ok, I have to listen to him sing again. Praise Jesus for DVR!!

Enrique AND a day without rain? I've now just wet myself.

Crazy Train

...of thoughts

Oh how I love insomnia. I've read that the sun lamp messes with your sleep patterns which is great for someone who averages around 3 hours of sleep per night. Longest I've gone without sleeping was 4 nights all in a row and it wasn't pretty (that's not me behind the scary donkey demon mask I swear). FYI: sun lamp + hangover = throbbing head (and not the good kind). I'm just going to ramble on aimlessly and hopefully my eyes will close at some point. I'm sure I'll sound like a complete jack ass right now because I can't grasp a single thought much less form a proper sentence.

So it's 1:15 and I should be asleep but I'm bored. I need to be doing something but I don't want to wake Tom. I wonder if he can hear me typing on the keys while he sleeps. I want to play the piano right now (we moved the electric piano into the house because I was going bat shit crazy without it) but I know Tom wouldn't appreciate that. I wrote a song called "Dancing Between the Raindrops" and I can only play it when it's not raining. I hope I get to play it again before Christmas.

My neighbors (the ones I accidentally threw poo at) are completely whacked. They already have their Christmas tree up and decorated, lights and all. Did we just skip Thanksgiving and go straight to Christmas? Next time I see them I'm going to wish them a happy new year.

Tom does something every day that secretly bugs me yet I've never told him. When he washes his hands he pumps a few squirts of hand soap into his hands and then, before adding any water, he rubs his hands together for several seconds. I cringe in silence because it looks as though he's rubbing the dirtiness further into his pores. I'd much prefer he pump the soap then cup his hand under the water so it can mix with the soap and then scrub into a sudsy lather. It's like brushing your teeth without adding any water to the toothbrush. Too gummy and sticky. Wish I would have worked this into our wedding vows.

I ate a banana today and it had absolutely zero flavor. How does that happen? It was like eating a wet sponge. I'm afraid to eat another banana from that same bunch for fear of this happening again. Maybe it was just a lemon.

The best way to eat a pomegranate is naked over the kitchen sink. If you can't be naked (because you have crazy neighbors with a Christmas tree who might see you) then don't wear white.

Tom and I were walking, and as usual he was a few steps ahead of me. Suddenly I smelled hot dogs. I said, "You just burped." He said, "How did you know?" I said, "I just walked in its wake." He didn't eat hot dogs for dinner but why do the majority of burps have that hot dog smell? Makes me wonder what's in a hot dog.

Chumley is annoying the crap outta me right now. He goes from humping his bear while howling/bellowing to running around like a crazy spaz, rustling through papers and plastic bags. Usually when he darts around from room to room that means he has a dingleberry hanging from his ass. Tom??? You awake?? Oh and Chum hasn't pissed on any furniture as of yet, because now he decided to relieve himself on my bag of knitting. Who wants a scarf?

Our landlords came by yesterday and Wrig's Pedi Paws was lying smack dab on the kitchen counter. I can't help but think they thought it was a sex toy. But seriously, what kind of sick f*ck would leave a dildo on the kitchen counter? Probably the same one who eats their fruit naked over the kitchen sink.


The funniest name ever for an illness is Hoof to Mouth disease. I'm not laughing at the disease itself or anyone who has ever had it, just the name and the way it sounds when you say it cracks me up. I think it's also the visual that goes along with the name. I picture a donkey with his front foot stuffed in his mouth. What's with all the donkey talk?

This morning I was attempting to shave my legs in the shower but we don't have a shelf or anything to rest your foot on so I had my foot flat against the side of the shower wall. It slipped and I slammed my forehead hard, right into the tile. I came within milliliters of bashing my nose and I thought to myself if someone asked, "How did you break your nose?" I would say, "Shaving my legs."

Golden Girls is on now. Blanche is a whore.

Still wide awake and my head is throbbing.

CHOO! CHOO!!!

My day in Seattle...

Was surprisingly pleasant for a change. Just when I hit the bottom of my vortex of doom, a flicker of light shines at the tunnel's end. That light? The sun.

Our friend Darin is a pilot and had a lay over in Seattle for the day. We met at Pikes and had lunch at Serious Pie (know why it's called Serious Pie? because it is SERIOUSLY the best pizza on earth!) Then, we explored the city. All I can say is, this place looks and feels 100,000,000 times better in the sunshine.

Here's some video of a piano player on Pike Street and the incredible sky. It ended up clouding over at about 2, BUT it was nothing like the last 14 days. There was still a lot of brightness to the sky and the contrast was pretty amazing. I even got to see shadows again! The guy in the orange sweater and cap is Darin.



That dying mongoose you hear in the background is a violin player and I use the term "player" loosely. More like violin mutilator. I highly recommend that you remove all sharp objects from reach before listening to this next clip.




And some photos - click to enlarge.

Crazy balloon man (aka my future BFF, he just doesn't know it yet)

Check out the lovers in the bottom right of this pic. I wanted to yell "GET A ROOM!" but somehow controlled the urge to do so.


Some more amazing sky pics...






While walking over to Nordstrom we almost got kicked in the face by some nutjob doing cartwheels on the sidewalk. Best part about this, nutjob was wearing a business suit! I bet that's what Tom does to blow off steam during the day. Seems like an effective stress reliever. Next time I see him I may have to join in on the fun. Synhronized cartwheeling has definite Olympic potential. Just you watch.

Who does Depression Hurt?

Everyone.

Including the Dog.

Poor Wrigs is miserable. He refuses to go outside unless I walk/drag him which is not a very good idea considering how slick it is from this nonstop rain. He misses going to the park, chasing his balls and romping around in the dry grass with his pals. And sure as sh*t,
So. Do. I.

But it makes me more upset to see him sad.


He just sits by the window and watches the rain...


I walked away from the computer for a while and when I came back this was playing. Looks like Wrigs needs the silly pills too.

Babbling Brooke

My friend Brooke was leaving a message for a friend of hers on the home answering machine. Her friend has 3 little kids, who upon returning home, like to play the messages back and listen.

While Brooke was leaving the message she inadvertently said the word, "F*CK". She realized that the little ones would be hearing this message, freaked out and then said, "SH*T!!! I just said F*CK into your answering machine!"

She hung up and called her friend on her cell telling her NOT to play the message in front of the kiddos.

The girl cracks me up. She really needs a blog.

terms of endearment

The hubby's new nickname for me is...

"Douche."

Sweet isn't it?

This one just came out of the blue while we were driving around town on Saturday.

Not "Douche bag" or "Stupid Douche" just plain Douche. Is it wrong that it makes me laugh? Not sure how many others would enjoy being referred to as a vaginal bulb syringe but I kind of like it. Perhaps he's trying to tell me something.

I found an old winter cap in our box of winter crap this weekend so I've been wearing it around the house and it's quite warm. I thought it was much more flattering than the Elmer Fudd hat but apparently not since Tom now tells me I look like Joe Pesci.

I guess this is to be expected after being married over a decade. It could be worse. It's not like we're flinging poo at each other. At least not our own...

Sweet Aunt Janie

passed away this morning.

Aunt Janie

1927-2008

This is a very difficult time for my mom, as this was her last remaining immediate family member. Up until a few months ago my aunt was very active and just recently things took a tragic turn. Too much suffering, too much pain. She is now at peace and my mom was by her side.

My Aunt Janie was so much fun and was such an animal lover. I just realized I posted a little story about her back in May, a few months before she had fallen ill.

I'm going to miss her very much. I still have the nightgown she gave me when I was 10, on one of my visits to her house. She let me borrow it and I felt so grown up that she insisted I keep it. I'll have it forever.

Here come more tears...

In the Pit

It's official. I've let myself go.

For a couple hours this morning I was hatless and Tom saw the top of my head.

He looks at my hair then says, "When was the last time you colored your hair?"

I say: "I think it was September, or maybe August. Can't remember."

Tom: Are you going to do it again soon?

me: Why? You don't like my steel wool colored roots?

Tom: (as he inspects the top of my scalp) I think you should make an appt. and have it done professionally.

me: I think I'll just do it myself and color it black.

Tom: Do whatever you want. I have no say in anything.

me: Have you even noticed that I've gained 6 pounds in the last month??

(no comment from Tom)

Smart man.

Am I purposely trying to make myself appear more unattractive or do I just not give a damn anymore?

I think this is what the medical folk would call Depression.

DANG!

I tried to sneak some video footage of Tom doing his golf swing but I was too late. Poor guy hasn't golfed in almost 2 months and I think it's really getting to him. He and I aren't the only ones going bonkers. Chumley has decided that his new favorite thing to play with is...a pen.

Poor little cat is losing his marbles. He loves batting around this pen and then throwing it up in the air and pouncing on it. I tried to get footage of him doing this but it was too dark.

I did however get some footage of Wrigs after he stole the pen out of Chumley's grip and ran around the house. It's still dark but you can see Wrigs being his usual goofy self.



We had planned to take Wrigs on a nice long walk this morning but as I was getting my shoes on, of course it starts pouring rain. We are starting to get cabin fever from being holed up inside this place. Wasn't the Unibomber from Seattle? Yet another day in paradise.

Who loves Marshmallows

*disclaimer- I don't typically give my animals junk food. Chum was hovering over the stove as I was baking more marshmallow treats (yes, I'm addicted) so I gave him one and I didn't think he'd eat it but he did. And I didn't want Wrigs to feel left out so I had to shove one in his gob too.

Vets will hate me for this

Chumley has been on this special vitamin syrup called Val Syrup, which costs almost $20 an ounce. I only give him .5 cc's so the ounce does last a while but I found the SAME syrup online for $18.95 for, get this.... 8 ounces!!

You can give this syrup to cats, dogs even horses. They also sell it by the gallon at Amazon. I've been giving it to Chum for a couple months now and he is doing so well- his coat is so shiny and he's as active as a kitten.

Also, I bought some new canned food called Tiki Cat for Chum (he's off the prescription stuff the vet gave him) and he goes MAD for this stuff. He starts knocking things down at 6am trying to wake me up to eat. Annoying YES but if it keeps the beast happy, I'll do it. His favorite is the Honolulu Tuna on rice with Crab and the Bora Bora Sardine Cutlets in Lobster Consomme. I'm telling you, this stuff smells so good you'll want to shmear it on crackers. Not that I've ever done that.

Or have I???

Shhh. Don't tell Tom.

Bold Faced Lie

This weather ticker says that it is partly cloudy and even shows a bit of sun. Really???? Where??? I'd like to know because I'll get in my car right now and go there! There is no break in the clouds whatsoever. It's dark and gloomy and it feels like night time 24 hours a day.

Everyone poops

Chumley was making all sorts of noise this morning in his litter box so I grabbed the camera to see what was going on. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just his usual covering up of his dumps. He's very meticulous during this process and wants to make sure every nugget and droppling is hidden away. And believe me, there's been plenty of dropplings coming out of this cat. He is a dumping machine.



Wrigs on the other hand, HATES going outside to poop in the rain. Can you blame him??? I'm afraid he's going to get plugged up. Finally this morning, he pooped. And lucky for all of you, I've captured it on film. (The camera is far enough away so it's not too gross at all, you can probably still eat and watch.)



This reminds me of the book Everyone Poops. Used to love reading it to the kids I babysat. They'd laugh so hard sometimes they'd poop their pants. Fun times.

Little Bird died.

I was checking on him through the night and he seemed to be doing better. He was moving his head and both eyes had opened. I was so hopeful and Tom was too. Then the last time I checked him, he wasn't alive. It was really sad, even Tom felt bad and let me have a good cry. He buried him in the yard this morning. I'm so sorry I couldn't help this sweet innocent bird.

Wrigs and Chum

Concerned about the bird:

sweet little bird

So I was sitting in front of my sun box sipping a glass of wine pretending I'm at an outdoor cafe in Laguna Beach, when there's a loud CRASH at the window. It was a bird. I rushed outside and watched as the bird stretched out his belly and then shut his eyes. I screamed "DON'T DIE!!!" and ran back into the house to grab some gloves, towels and a pail and rushed back outside.

I gently lifted him into the pail and he started to open just one eye. He's now breathing but he hasn't moved his head at all so I'm afraid that his neck is broken. I called the vet's office and they are not certified to work with wildlife but they gave me the number of a place that is but they are now closed. The woman told me to keep the bird warm and out of the rain overnight and then bring him by first thing in the morning. Tom has me paranoid about West Nile (he watched some show yesterday of all days about a guy who caught the virus from simply throwing away a dead bird so he does not want the bird inside) so in a bit I'm going to move him into the garage and put a heating pad down for him. I am praying that he makes it through the night.

Please say a little prayer for this little guy. Just watching him struggle to breathe and open his eye is heart breaking and makes me realize that every little creature has significance and is worthy in this world.




He's so beautiful.

mullet

When was the last time you saw one of these???


Today, I had the privilege of seeing TWO, live and in the flesh. I ventured a bit north of the city into the University District and it was like entering a whole other world. I was also the lucky recipient of being called a "COCK SUCKING WHORE" for not giving money to one of the hundreds of aggressive homeless people on my walk to the drug store. I certainly do live in Paradise.

I shouldn't poke fun at the mullet wearers though because my hair is not much better. It looks like someone took a dump on the top of my head, my roots are so overgrown. I really should do something about it but since I wear hats all day and all night, the only time I see my roots is when I wash and blow dry my hair, which is about as often as the sun shines.

I have this giant zit atop my eye brow which could be from:

a) stress

b) eating an entire box of mini Charleston chews in ONE sitting

c) stress

d) wearing my Elmer Fudd hat 24/7

e) sleeping on the same flannel sheets for over a month because they are warm and I can't wash and dry them since we don't have a working dryer

f) stress

g) because it rains so much

I wonder if Tom will have an affair now that I've morphed into somewhat of a freakshow. I am not the person he married 10 years ago.