Dog walking etiquette (for humans)

I know it's early but if you're going to get up and walk your dog first thing in the morning AND you happen to be a person who initiates conversation at close range, is it too much to ask that you brush your teeth before you leave the house? Your fellow hygiene conscious tooth brushing neighbor would appreciate it. If not then one may be forced to perform a face block maneuver with a poo bag.

PSA on falling down

Even though it wasn't raining on my morning walk with Wrigs, the ground was still very wet and slick. Some of the sidewalks are moss covered and even with treaded shoes, it's still VERY slippery. Wrigs saw a squirrel (aka "the enemy" as Wrigs likes to call them) and tried to bolt off the sidewalk to chase. He couldn't get leverage and ended up falling face first in mud. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. He's totally fine of course, but both his front legs splayed out to the sides and then quickly tucked into his chest, all in one swift move as he nose dived into the mud. I am laughing about it again now as I type because it was just so damn funny.

Wrigs wasn't the only one who humiliated himself this morning. While walking downhill, I slipped but caught myself before hitting the ground but when I threw my hands out to stop my fall I launched Wrig's poo bag in a backward toss and it came within centimeters of hitting me in the face! A neighbor (thank GOD, not the one we threw poo at) saw me do this as he was leaving for work and I'm sure it looked as though I was purposely trying to smack myself in the face with the steaming bag of shit.

I'm very lucky I didn't fall because I could have easily suffered a broken limb or worse. For those of you living in a slippery, slimey climate, just be careful walking, running, jogging, etc. This is the time of year people are rushing to get everything done and maybe don't take those extra precautions when running from place to place. But if you're going to fall I hope you do so carefully and with grace. And without a bag of poo in your hand.

terms of endearment

The hubby's new nickname for me is...

"Douche."

Sweet isn't it?

This one just came out of the blue while we were driving around town on Saturday.

Not "Douche bag" or "Stupid Douche" just plain Douche. Is it wrong that it makes me laugh? Not sure how many others would enjoy being referred to as a vaginal bulb syringe but I kind of like it. Perhaps he's trying to tell me something.

I found an old winter cap in our box of winter crap this weekend so I've been wearing it around the house and it's quite warm. I thought it was much more flattering than the Elmer Fudd hat but apparently not since Tom now tells me I look like Joe Pesci.

I guess this is to be expected after being married over a decade. It could be worse. It's not like we're flinging poo at each other. At least not our own...

Everyone poops

Chumley was making all sorts of noise this morning in his litter box so I grabbed the camera to see what was going on. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just his usual covering up of his dumps. He's very meticulous during this process and wants to make sure every nugget and droppling is hidden away. And believe me, there's been plenty of dropplings coming out of this cat. He is a dumping machine.



Wrigs on the other hand, HATES going outside to poop in the rain. Can you blame him??? I'm afraid he's going to get plugged up. Finally this morning, he pooped. And lucky for all of you, I've captured it on film. (The camera is far enough away so it's not too gross at all, you can probably still eat and watch.)



This reminds me of the book Everyone Poops. Used to love reading it to the kids I babysat. They'd laugh so hard sometimes they'd poop their pants. Fun times.

How "not" to meet your new neighbors

Tom and I were taking Wrigs for a brisk walk around the neighborhood. Tom thinks it's funny after Wrigs poops to try and lob his poo bag at my head while we're walking. He's hit me with it once before and even though I think it's disgusting and obnoxious, I can't stop laughing while he does it. I'll run several feet ahead and Tom will launch the poo bag high in the air trying to get it to land on my head. He pinged me a couple times in the leg and back and if I'm quick enough I can grab the bag and launch it back at him. I hit him in the chest then he threw it back at me and it wiffed the side of my face. My last launch was solid but he bobbed his head out of the way and the bag soared over the fence into our next door neighbor's yard. Tom is out there right now trying to scoop it up with a rake or pole of some sort.

I hope to God the neighbor's aren't home and don't see him doing this. How do you explain this one?!?