more kid stuff

Tom and I ate breakfast at a cute place in town and we sat by the window to watch Wrigs who was outside. This little boy (probably 3 years old) was walking outside with his family and comes rushing up to the window, smushes his face up to the glass and stares down Tom. Tom smiles at him. The kid is stone faced. Tom waves. Still not even so much as a blink from the little guy. I ask Tom, "Do you think he has problems?" Tom says, "Nah. He's just shy." The kid starts banging his head into the glass, hard, while grunting. I say to Tom, "Sure about that?"

Kids are strange.

Wrigley Ramblings

I walked Wrigs this morning and this woman randomly stops us on the street (which is not unusual) and begins to shower Wrigs with kisses and pets, which he willingly accepts. We're casually making small talk and then she starts to massage Wrigs back and hind quarters. I'm thinking this is kind of getting weird and the woman says, "He eats too many Cheerios." I said jokingly, "Well that's why we're on our walk." And then she says, "Someone needs a diet!" Seriously? Did you just call my dog fat? If we're gonna start throwing insults then you need to get your teeth fixed. And you know what else??? Maybe if it didn't RAIN 14 DAYS STRAIGHT we'd all be out getting more exercise you crazy toothless RAIN LOVER!!! I didn't say any of that of course, I just smiled pleasantly and thanked her for her unsolicited observation on my dog. Crazy bitch.

Then while on the same walk just a few blocks later this woman comes up and greets Wrigs all excited and animated so he starts to jump up on her. I say, "No jump!" She looks at me and says all teacher like, "Instead of saying 'No Jump' tell him 'Good Sit' when he sits. Use positive reinforcement when training a dog." WTF are we in Pet Smart??? And how the hell did I make it past 30 without this KNOW IT ALL in my life?? Next time, don't run up to my dog like you've just won the f*cking lottery and perhaps he will "GOOD SIT" for you.

What's with all the Dog Whisperers in this town???

Here's another sad Wrigs pic from the other day, while watching the rain drops fall. His chin is resting on the window ledge. He knows how to play the pathetic card a bit too well.

mullet

When was the last time you saw one of these???


Today, I had the privilege of seeing TWO, live and in the flesh. I ventured a bit north of the city into the University District and it was like entering a whole other world. I was also the lucky recipient of being called a "COCK SUCKING WHORE" for not giving money to one of the hundreds of aggressive homeless people on my walk to the drug store. I certainly do live in Paradise.

I shouldn't poke fun at the mullet wearers though because my hair is not much better. It looks like someone took a dump on the top of my head, my roots are so overgrown. I really should do something about it but since I wear hats all day and all night, the only time I see my roots is when I wash and blow dry my hair, which is about as often as the sun shines.

I have this giant zit atop my eye brow which could be from:

a) stress

b) eating an entire box of mini Charleston chews in ONE sitting

c) stress

d) wearing my Elmer Fudd hat 24/7

e) sleeping on the same flannel sheets for over a month because they are warm and I can't wash and dry them since we don't have a working dryer

f) stress

g) because it rains so much

I wonder if Tom will have an affair now that I've morphed into somewhat of a freakshow. I am not the person he married 10 years ago.