The ugliest pumpkin contest?

I'm not sure what's going on in our little pocket of town but it seems we have been invaded by the world's most hideous looking pumpkins. Either they were painted by apes (using their feet) or...well, I'm not going to say anything offensive. These beauties speak for themselves.






Back in college my friends and I used to prank call the local grocery store this time of year (screaming at the poor unsuspecting soul who had the misfortune of answering the phone) saying their scary pumpkins scared the crap out of our kids and now they won't stop screaming and crying! I would demand that all the pumpkins with scary faces be removed from the store otherwise the school district would boycott the store. And wouldn't ya know it - no more scary pumpkins. I wonder if I should do that now with these pumpkins plastered all over town?? I'm sure that's a great way to make friends.

Tid bits

Some things I've observed/experienced since living in Seattle for almost 3 weeks:

1) Dogs are pretty much allowed ANYWHERE. Even some cafes and coffee shops! Wrigs has already made a slew of friends and LOVES all the treats he gets. Our local bank has a "Dog Wall" of all the doggy customers. It also has a fireplace going at all times. I like that.

2) Not many places serve decaf drip coffee and if you ask for that prepare to receive looks of shock and horror. It's decaf espresso and that's about it. The regular coffee is WAY too strong for me. I won't expand on this but let's just say it's not something I can drink unless I'm in the comforts of my own home.

3) Seattle drivers are a hell of a lot more courteous than LA/OC drivers. Maybe they are just being nice because I'm usually lost and they take pity on the ditzy blond in the convertible with CA plates going the wrong way down a one way street.

4) Vests that are not filled with down feathers are for decoration only. They DO NOT provide warmth. Realized this fact after my 2nd poly-filled purchase. It's worth it to spend the extra money so one does not freeze.

5) Never attempt to grocery shop after 5pm unless you want to play bumper cars in the cluster f*ck maze Trader Joe's calls a parking garage. And if you happen to park at the bottom of a hill make sure you have a good grip on the cart. Those things have a mind of their own.

6) The restaurants here are amazing. I've yet to have a bad or even mediocre meal. At the rate I'm going none of my jeans will fit me by Christmas.

7) Within seconds of meeting someone, they say, "You're not from here." And what usually gives it away is the fact that I'm dressed in a hat, scarf, gloves and winter coat when it's barely 50 degrees. And even then, depending on the wind... I'm STILL cold!

8) The sunny days are absolutely beautiful and I can understand why people love it here so much. Those not so sunny days are still quite a struggle.

Tom and I went for a boat ride...

In extremely cold weather.

Here is the Space Needle in the distance...


Here we are. We were cold. VERY cold...


I tried to warm us up with a few kisses...


But Tom opted for beer instead...


The sun is shining (2 days in a ROW!!!) but I'm just waiting for it to warm up a bit before I walk into town. 40 degree temps are a bit too cold for a stroll in the park. At least soon I'll have a fancy new homemade Karyn original, so I won't have to wear that beaver hat with the ear flaps all the time. Tom's not a fan of it. Especially when I sleep in it.

WHY?!?

I have no idea why, but I CAN'T get this song out of my head today:

I used to LOVE this segment on Sesame Street as a kid especially the part "they talked about the high price of furniture and rugs" (makes no SENSE but it's sooo funny!) but I have no idea as to why this keeps popping into my head.

I haven't seen any ladybugs here.

Yet...

Things are normal

Tom's watching stupid Big Break Challenge 10 Michigan on the golf channel. As he was feverishly searching for the golf channel station I tried to tell him that Comcast doesn't have a golf channel but he wasn't buying it. He's now found it and this will be on our TV at all times. F*cking fantastic.

I can't stop eating these cookies:They taste like those little cinnamon crispy cookies you get on airplanes. And they pair perfectly with a glass of Savignon Blanc. Yes, we are starting to settle into our new life.

Oh! I must share this fabulous conditioner. Since I only wash my hair about twice a week I've not been consistent with my Wen products. Instead I'm using Baby Shampoo to get out the muckety muck and then I condition with Rusk Smoothing Conditioner. This stuff is amazing but impossible to find. I found it at Bellvue Mall in a store called Beauty Works. I went with Tom yesterday and there were only 2 bottles left and he insisted I buy them both so he wouldn't have to hear me bitch about running out of this stuff anytime soon.

He's quite the forward thinker.

I want to say thank you to all of you who have been so kind to leave your comments of encouragement and support. I really appreciate each one. And to Catherine who mentioned a while back about the Dog Park in Magnusson Park, FYI: We went there this last weekend and it was INSANE!!! I have never seen anything like this before. Wrigley could not handle it, he was in paradise running like a wild man from dog to dog! He still didn't make it into the water though, even when all the other dogs around him were swimming. He put 2 paws in and looked at Tom and I like "F**K THAT SH!T!" A retriever that hates water. We're so proud of him.

And Chumley has YET to pee on any of our furniture. However, when I put on my snuggly warm bathrobe this morning something smelled amiss. I took a few whiffs and then realized, "Chumley was here." At least it's not the couch. A bathrobe is much easier to clean.

Extreme Appliance Makeover

This is what we are in need of.

So, we've been living here for a little over 2 weeks now with no microwave- which surprisingly I'm not missing too much, no clothes dryer- I've been doing small loads everyday and hang drying over the heat vent (which still blows cold air, but it's air none the less) and in the last week our guest bathroom toilet has broken, the sink in our bathroom has leaked all over the contents of the stuff jammed in the cabinet below and now today our dishwasher is broken. It's the first time I washed a load of dishes and before I did I said to Tom, "I'm sure this thing won't work." Tom says, "Stop being so negative. Your negative energy makes everything break!" Whatever. I load up the dishwasher.

It actually works fine! I'm relieved and for once, happy to be proven wrong. I head out to run some errands for the day and when I return home a couple hours later I head into the kitchen to unload my sparking clean dishes. I open the door and...

The FLOOD GATES OPENED!

The dishwasher did not drain any water and it was a swimming pool in there. I call Tom at work to let him know that AHA! the dishwasher IS in fact broken! I think I was a bit too excited about this.

So now, we are down one dishwasher.

Tonight I'm making some homemade chicken chili and Tom and I were planning to stay in and have a fire in the fireplace but guess what??? Yep, that's out of commission too. Landlords told us not to have any fires because it has not been cleaned in 6 years and there may be bird nests and debris clogging the flue.

Speaking of bird's nests...


This poor guy flew into our window today. (in case you can't see, it's a little tiny bird resting on our patio chair)

But, it was soooo sunny today that he probably couldn't see where he was going!!!

Critters

We have moths and they are huge! Every night before we go to bed we see them. Tom has been able to catch 3 of them and throw them outside. Tonight's moth is still on the loose. I was unpacking some scarves and wooly wraps and out flapped the furry beast and shot up to the ceiling into the darkened skylight, never to be seen again. I screamed bloody murder, Wrigs jumped off the bed and started barking like a maniac then tried to hump me and then Chum ran in hissing and bellowing like a crotchety old man. Tom shouts, "Everyone in this house makes me CRAZY!" We've all calmed down now except for Chum who is still howling while humping his teddy bear.

I'm sure the moths are keeping the "dandy" long legs company who in turn are tooling around with the army of carpenter ants. We're all just one big happy insect infested family.

Tom just caught the moth! A struggle ensued so he ended up throwing him in the toilet (him, being the moth). Tom came out of the bathroom saying that the moth hit the water then bounced back up and flew away again!! I'm sure he's going to attack us while we sleep with toilet water dripping off his spindly legs. YUCK!

Speaking of YUCK I found my teeth molds from a couple years ago and the last few mornings I've been hiding them in Tom's bathroom drawer. It's the first thing he wakes up to when he reaches for the toothpaste and he HATES it! He told me today that if they are in there tomorrow he's going to throw them against the wall and shatter them to pieces. Maybe I'll just hide them in his work bag instead...

How "not" to meet your new neighbors

Tom and I were taking Wrigs for a brisk walk around the neighborhood. Tom thinks it's funny after Wrigs poops to try and lob his poo bag at my head while we're walking. He's hit me with it once before and even though I think it's disgusting and obnoxious, I can't stop laughing while he does it. I'll run several feet ahead and Tom will launch the poo bag high in the air trying to get it to land on my head. He pinged me a couple times in the leg and back and if I'm quick enough I can grab the bag and launch it back at him. I hit him in the chest then he threw it back at me and it wiffed the side of my face. My last launch was solid but he bobbed his head out of the way and the bag soared over the fence into our next door neighbor's yard. Tom is out there right now trying to scoop it up with a rake or pole of some sort.

I hope to God the neighbor's aren't home and don't see him doing this. How do you explain this one?!?

Just realized something...

Since 2001, here is an outline of our moves:

1)
2001: moved out of our cockroach filled apartment into our first condo in Chicago.

2) & 3)
2002: Tom gets transferred to Minneapolis. We live in corporate housing for almost 3 months then move into our home.

3) & 4)
2003: Tom gets transferred to S. Cal. We live in a co-workers vacant house in Claremont, CA for 2 months then we move into our townhome in Mission Viejo.

5)
2006: We outgrow the townhome and move into our home, still in Mission Viejo.

6)
2008: Here we are now in Seattle.

No wonder I never feel settled. And to think, we'll be moving AGAIN in less than 6 months. My goal is to live with the MINIMUM and be able to pack up all of our belongings into one small minivan (minus the furniture, and animals, and kitchen stuff).

The sun is peeping through the clouds right now so I am going to head outside and do some organizing in the garage. It's 59 degrees today and it actually feels warmer outside than it does in our house! I had a great morning that I must blog about at some point later today. It involved Wrigley and an old blind woman. Melted my heart!

no need for an exterminator

Wrigley gobbles up the carpenter ants.

All I have to do is point and say "ANT!" and away he goes.

It's protein right?

We just returned home from a dinner with friends in town from NYC. It was fun. I much prefer a 10 minute drive home after a night out on the town than a 1.5 hour drive. Benefits of living in the city.

I'm mad at Tom because he organized our hall closet and only put 2 coats in there for me but jammed in 9 for himself!! NOT FAIR!

I have a charity truck coming at 7:30 tomorrow morning and I have to get stuff organized and put into boxes. I really wish I would have done this prior to moving.

Good night!

a few more pics

Can you see Mount Rainier in the distance? Question: Did this mountain get its name based on how rainy it is around here?


Tom and I after a few mojitos and margaritas at a little Mexican restaurant up the street. We were both cold in there too!:


Walking up to the space needle (these pics were taken at 2 pm, doesn't it look like night?):




View from the Needle:

some animal pics...

Chum trying to stay warm in my closet:


Wrigs and I at the bakery:


Tom and Wrigs at the Crepe Place:


Wrigs looking at the water:


Wrigs watching Tom almost slip off the rocks:


Wrigs trying to walk on the rocks but then chickening out:

Chilly Willy

I'm not sure what the flip has gotten into my lately but I've been craving and making some of my favorite foods my grandmother used to make for me when I was a child. Last night I made her chicken soup and it was delicious. For breakfast today I'm eating wheat toast, with a little butter, blackberry jam and cottage cheese. It's soooooooo good. And for lunch I am going to make my FAVORITE sandwich which may sound gross at first but I'm telling you it's fabulous: White bread (which I know isn't supposed to be good for you but for some reason it tastes much better on soft white bread), yellow mustard (just plain yellow, not dijon or honey or anything fancy, just the sun colored yellow mustard you get at a baseball game), liverwurst sliced thin, not thick and meaty, and slices of fresh tomatoes. The combination of all these flavors together is amazing. I used to drink it with ice cold milk but today I'm contemplating an ice cold beer.

It's almost 10:00am and I need lights on inside the house to see. We live in a very shaded area with a lot of trees so I'm sure that's adding to the darkness but it seriously feels like nighttime. I want to crawl back under the covers.

Lizzie, the reason our house never seems to get or stay warm is due to high ceilings, poor insulation and we think there's a malfunction in our heater. Sometimes when it goes on it blows out cold air. We just discovered that late last night but it doesn't happen every time. I've unpacked the space heater and tote it around with me wherever I go. Oh and I have to post a cute pic of Chum from yesterday snuggling in my closet trying to keep warm. My poor babies. Both Wrigs and I have runny noses. I need to knit him a nose cozy.

In need of some warmth

So I just booked my ticket home.

I won't make a habit of this, I hope. But, it's really fricking cold and my body is shutting down. I'm making my grandmother's homemade chicken soup recipe for dinner tonight. Hopefully that will warm me up a bit.

The tips of my fingers are a bluish purple. That's not right.

Hung...

Over.

So maybe it's a good thing that big bright shining orb in the sky has yet to make an appearance today. But seriously, must it be THIS cold??? 40 degrees???

I've been sleeping in my Elmer Fudd hat (looks just like this):


so as you can imagine, there's not much funking going on in this igloo.

(And no, that's not me in the pic. That chick is WAYYYYYY too happy.)

say what???

This has to be my favorite momism of all times...

I was just chatting on the phone to my mom and was telling her that Tom has a work dinner tonight that he invited me to attend. I told her that I didn't feel like going because a) it's too cold to shower b) I have yet to unpack and organize my clothes so I won't have anything decent (or warm) to wear c) I have a pimple on my chin and d) I want to snuggle on the couch with the animals and watch nonsense TV.

My mom then says, "You need to force yourself to get up and get out of the house. Otherwise you are going to end up in a terrible fuck."

I am still laughing at this.

I may just go tonight so I can share this story with others.

more fires

I'm praying for the safety of my family and friends in California.

Wildfires

These images in the link are all too familiar. It was around this time last year when the fires were dangerously close to where we lived.

I wonder what it would be like to live 5 minutes without worry.

Celeb Sighting in Seattle

This morning I walked Wrigs to the local coffee/waffle shop up the street and while sipping my coffee in walks Tom Skerritt. Funny how I move outside of LA and have a celeb sighting. On his way out he pet Wrigs and said something sweet to him but I couldn't hear because I was still inside staying warm. I didn't have a chance to snap a photo, which probably wouldn't have turned out great anyway. I'll leave the Paparazzi shots to the Experts.

p.s. We have Carpenter Ants in this house. I fricking LOVE it here!!!!!

An adjustment for all

Is it 9:30 at night or in the morning? I can't f*cking tell.

It's seriously dark, like night time. If I were a bat, this would be glorious.

It's so dark, that I mistook a prescription codeine for my daily vitamin this morning. Woopsie. It's not all bad.

Something is leaking as I type. It could be our washing machine. We just finally got the pipe fixed. It was leaking when we tried to connect the washer. It's now supposed to be fixed but I hear water dripping. Actually it's more like a lightly running faucet. We have no dryer because our dryer is gas and this house has no gas line. So I am currently washing a load of towels and have no idea what the hell I'm going to do to dry them. Can't exactly hang them outside like I used to do back home.

We also have no microwave. I should rephrase that. We have no working microwave. The microwave here is just for looks. I thought the owner of the house was kidding when she told us that. Only the "popcorn" button works. Living without a microwave and a dryer is a royal pain in the ass.

The one I really feel badly for is Wrigley. Due to space constraints the poor guy eats and drinks right next to Chumley's shit box. I couldn't imagine eating my breakfast in the bathroom next to Tom while he's on the crapper. I wish there was some other place I could move his bowls. It's also been a challenge letting Wrigley outside to do his business. The area he has to poop and pee is very small and what has happened on more than one occasion is that he ends up back stepping into his poop and then rushes back into the house smearing it all over the floor and furniture. I went completely ape shit on him and I feel bad because I know it's not his fault but I just really miss the way things used to be.

Some lifestyle adjustments I've made since living here:

I shower about every other day (give or take a day). And I wash my hair twice a week. Our house is way too cold to bathe anymore than that. And shaving my legs is now a thing of the past.

I drink roughly the same amount, I just start earlier in the day. But I end up going to bed earlier so it's not like I'm drinking a whole lot more than I used to.

I wear a hat and scarf at all times in and out of this house. The heat runs constantly but it doesn't seem to warm up at all.

I don't go outside when it's drizzling. I'm already starting to feel like a hermit.

Our neighborhood is really cute, big huge trees, the lake or sound or bay or whatever it's called is just a few blocks away. My sister and I walked around town quite a bit and got lost. We ended up in a not so desirable area. When we finally got out of there and realized where we were, there was my house, just one street away from where that area starts. We will be activating our alarm system this week.

I feel so completely out of my element.

Election '08

Chumley's been acting really odd lately (odder than usual I guess I should say) and now, after a little research, I realize why...

Chumley for President

Wrigley's hoping for the VP nod.

(btw, today was beautiful, cold, but it was sunny and I am blown away by the views around here. I will blog more about this later when I have more time.)

day 3

I'm over this f*cking weather.

We have arrived...

And I must say, Seattle is awesome.

I LOVE living in a city environment again. I certainly have missed that. We have walked EVERYWHERE in the last 2 days. Found an amazing Crepe place just up the street, several coffee shops (shocker) and some fun pubs and nighttime spots. There's so much to see and do and I do love that.

But I miss the people I want to be doing it with.

And I really do miss the sun.

I saw it for about 15 minutes today.

Then, clouds.

And then more rain. And a few tears.

It's an adjustment I know. I can't compare it to where we've been. But when the sun is out, I'm happy and I feel great and I think No Big DEAL! I could live here forever!! Then, when it goes away...

I become a royal bitch.

I'm sorry Tom. I snapped at you quite a bit today. It's not your fault, I don't mean to take it out on you. I know I need to work on this and I will get help I promise. Just PLEASE don't take it personally.

My sister arrives tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to that. I think she'll love it here, she says she loves clouds and fall like weather. I wish I could say the same.

But I'll learn to get by on those 15 minutes of sun.

Come out sun, come out today.
Come and let me see your rays.
I miss you so! I miss you much!
Please sun, won't you stay in touch!?!?!

That is my daily sun chant. Let's hope it works.

from the La Quinta Inn, Redding CA

I was going to keep this upbeat then, but it's just too hard to fake it right now.

The last few days have been rough. Can't even express it all through words.

My sister decided to fly up on Monday and spend the week with me. I need her there. It gives me something to look forward to. We have been texting back and forth most of the road trip today and were discussing all the things we'll do. Most everything would be outdoors. Now that we're all settled in the hotel room I decided to check the weather and let her know what to pack.

I did NOT expect this.

I feel awful and don't want to subject her to this, especially when it's her first time visiting.

Especially when we just left this. (for the record, last time S. Cal had any rainfall was May 24th and I recall how much of a grump ass I was that day. Tom will attest to this as well.)

I know I'm not even there yet but I can say with a bit of certainty, I don't think I'm going to last very long.

And it's probably time to change the name of this blog.

Wrigley for Sale

(pic taken from the garage sale last weekend)

I'm too tired to think, type, inhale/exahale so I thought I'd just post a pic of Wrigs from our garage sale. He wasn't amused. I put stickers on all of us, I was $14.00, my next door neighbors, aged 10 and 7 were $14,000 and Free. I forgot I had my $14.00 price tag on my shirt later in the day when I walked Wrigs around the neighborhood. Got a few offers but no takers.

My brain and body have officially shut down...

today's update

*update* Chumley just shit and threw up all over the bathroom floor, next to his litter box. My heart breaks for him because I know EXACTLY how he feels. I wish I could explain to him that he won't be left behind. Poor little stressed out monster. I'm going to cuddle him a while.

Well at least last night I got 2 hours of sleep.

I am still a wreck. Can't stop crying. My sister is on her way over in a bit. Her husband is home from the hospital, will be ok, just taking it easy. Thank you for your prayers. She's bringing me some Xanax. I need it because I got so mad today (at something unrelated to move stress) and I punched the bathroom counter top and I cracked something in my hand. This is the same hand I used to beat the shit out of my computer a few weeks ago and its never been the same since.

Movers are here again today and tomorrow. That translates to, we have too much shit. I'm overwhelmed. And to think we will be doing this same thing again in 6 months makes me want to set everything on fire.

Tom comes home tonight and I really wish he would have been here the last 2 nights. Would have nice to be together during this time and have him here to pick me up when I fall. (I mean this literally as well, I tripped and fell over packing materials and had a melt down.) I'm really a mess right now.

Today the movers told me they couldn't take our plants on the truck and I broke down again. 2 of the plants have VERY sentimental value to me, one was a gift from my mother in law after my Dad died and this plant has been growing non stop and I feel my Dad's spirit whenever I look at it. I will end up carrying this on my lap in the mini van. I can't part with it.

The animals have been scared/worried. They don't understand. Chum's infection is back so we're starting him on meds today and will continue with them for 10 days. What fun that will be to give a screaming, hissing, biting cat oral syringe meds on the freeway in a moving mini van.

There is sooooooo much more I want to say just to clear my fuzzy head but I can't because my mind is mush. Oh I will say that this morning I had a McDonald's iced coffee. And guess where I am right now??? Hence the time I have to blog. What really sucks is that there are 4 men in my house right now, each one in close proximity to the bathroom so they all know what's going on. This is my 3rd trip to the "office".

Someone wake me when this is over.

time out

Movers are here today. I needed 5 minutes to sit and gather my strength.

Got one hour of sleep last night.

Intense thunder and lightning storms late last night and early this morning.

I am starting to feel sick and my energy levels are zapped. In addition to the stress of the move we've had some family crisis's arise in the last week.

Tom's Dad is in the hospital for a recurring illness. Please keep him in your prayers.

My aunt (my mom's sister) fell and broke her hip and now has pneumonia. It doesn't look very good. My mom is flying down to see her tomorrow and if there was any possibility I could go I would be there. My heart breaks for her and my mom right now. I feel helpless.

Tom's aunt (his mom's sister) was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung and brain cancer. She is being treated for this now and we are hoping and praying. Just struggling with quite a bit of sadness yet there's nothing we can physically do.

My sister was on her way to come help today but her husband is not feeling very well so she may be taking him to the ER. Symptoms sound like they could be heart related and they don't want to chance it.

Puts things in perspective.

Ok back to packing up...

medicine/liquor cabinet

While packing up the medicine cabinet I come across a bottle of Nightime Theraflu couch medicine. Not much left, so not worth lugging to Seattle.

Logical thing to do?

Swig it.

I'm certain it was more than 2 servings worth.

Feeling gooooooooooooood right...about...NOW.

HA! I just realized I said "couch" medicine in that first sentence and not "cough". I'm leaving it that way because I like it.

My eyes are feeling wiggly.

Who knew moving was so much fun?

I think I'm done packing for tonight. My face feels like jello.

How to tell it's time for marriage therapy...

After your husband has a violent sneeze fit instead of calmly saying, "God Bless You" you slam your hands on the counter and SHOUT through clenched teeth, "WHYYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THAT!?!"

I have been SUCH a snappy crab ass to him today and I don't mean to be. I know I'm taking out my frustration about the stress of the move on him. And the fact that he won't be here for the next 3 days is adding to that stress.

Ok back to work. Just had to take a quick break to clear the head.

I should be more upset that...

-We will miss the cut off to register to vote in the state of Washington by ONE DAY. So now I am doing a vote by mail ballot (previously known as absentee ballot) for the state of California. Thing is, I can't let the state know that we're moving out of state. I need the ballot sent to our new home in Seattle but obviously that will raise red flags. This is tricky and this is what I'm trying to figure out right now in the midst of packing/cleaning. And OF COURSE, my printer doesn't want to cooperate so I can't print out the applications!

-Tom will be on a golf trip Monday and Tuesday, the days the movers will be here to pack up our house. Yes, the timing of this sucks (it's a trip he had planned months ago) but I've done this before without him here so I'll just f*cking do it again.

-We have been waiting for a refund check from Audi for over a month now and still nothing. It's over $4000 and believe me, we could use this money! Last year Tom's timing belt blew (on the freeway) and it was right after his car was serviced by Audi. Then a few months ago we get a letter in the mail saying that we will be refunded the money. Why do I think it will show up the day we move? I'm going to see if our neighbors will take in whatever mail doesn't get forwarded on. In fact, I should make a set of labels and have forwarding envelopes ready. I'll do that now. Oh F*CK the printer!!!

-About a week ago we ordered the Peticure online (thanks to another late night informercial) and after the fact, realized we should have had this sent to our new address. I'm sure this will show up the same day as the refund check.

I hope eventually my head pops out of my ass.

Until then, I'm going to enjoy my Saturday morning ritual of listening to Car Talk while sipping my last Green Tea Latte. I'm officially out of the mix.

Holy Crap I just heard Paul Newman died. Wow, this is so sad.

And now...

We have ants.

(inside the house, covering our kitchen counters)

Can't understand why the offers aren't rolling in?!? I thought for sure we'd be in the midst of a bidding war by now.

Maybe I should dust.

I feel like I'm living in a dream sequence. Can't really explain it. Been feeling this way for the last couple weeks. It's so surreal, everything I do, even walking to the mailbox. I'm definitely not present and I should be.

I need to find a way to wake up.

My family and I are heading out tonight to our favorite Indian restaurant for the last time. I'm looking forward to it but am already anticipating the sadness. Can't think about that now otherwise I'm useless for a good while and I am so pressed for time. I don't think we are going to be ready to leave on Wednesday. We need another day.

Just one more day.

Frustrated.

like, EXTREMELY. I will be happy when life returns to normal, whatever the f*ck that means. I'm ready for a change because this is not fun anymore.

My bacon

has issues.

Procrastination

Is not something one should be doing 7 days before a major move.

I. need. more. time.

things are looking up...

Best place to have a heart attack: Seattle

ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME!?!

Last time I checked it was still September, not JANUARY!! I'm just not ready for this. I have a feeling the next 6 months (or probably longer) are going to be spent indoors, under the covers, nursing a LARGE bottle of whatever booze I can find.

My body is not built for cold weather. I am meant to live here in California!

FOREVER!!!

I love this song!

Every time I hear it I can't help singing and bopping around like a hyper-hormonal teen. Katy's vocals in this particular song remind me of a female Enrique Iglesias with a little bit of Avril's originality and Pink's edge mixed in. I really like it and it puts me in a good mood whenever I listen to it. I have a feeling I'll be playing it A LOT over the next couple months...

typical house showing

The FLEA guy finally showed up. And he would NOT LEAVE!!!

Breakfast of Champions

Is it just me or does it look like I ate 'baked cock' for breakfast this morning? Bacon grease patterns are fun sometimes.

poor Chumley

Earlier this evening I was about to respond to Clippy Mat's comment about where Chumley goes when people come through to view our home and then I realized, "Hmmmm, haven't seen Chum in a while." Then I remembered I never let him out of the bathroom after the last agent came through...almost 3 hours ago.

I feel awful.

Thing is, the last agent totally caught me off guard. It was right after the "flea" man came through (more on this later, including video!!) and this guy didn't call first, which it clearly states to do in the MLS and on a giant sign on our front door. This guy just rang the door bell and then started trying to open the door. When I came to the door, rather annoyed, he asked, "Is your mother home?" Not sure if he was blind as a bat or trying to butter me up but either way, I was still pissed off.

He then says (as he reads the sign on the door) that he didn't call first. No shit sherlock. Then he tells me that it's just him, no clients could he just quickly preview the home.

More to say on this but I'm too tired. Just got home from night out...

this weekend

This weekend we are having a MAJOR garage sale. There is still so much that needs to be done like weeding through closets, cabinets, tubs - setting up tables - labeling items - signs, etc.

So what's the first thing I do????

Head to the store and grab 2 bottles of Bloody Mary Mix, a bottle of vodka, a few limes and some celery. Priorities.

I'm actually not drinking them today I just figured that if we have to be up at 7am two days in a row, watching Gypsies rifle through our stuff I'm going to need some help.

Annoyed

So this morning I get a call from a realtor and he was extremely difficult to understand and it was quite obvious he was not understanding me either and our conversation went as follows:

realtor (w/ HEAVY Asian accent):
We come by today to see your house.

me:
Ok, can you let me know around what time?

realtor:
Today.

me:
Can you be more specific? Will it be now or sometime later today?

realtor:
We want to view your house. I have clients with me.

me:
(deep breath) Ok, but I need to know what time. I have a cat who is not friendly that I need to put away.

realtor:
What? Does your cat have fleas???

me:
NO! Not fleas! He is not friendly and will just bite people if they come into the house.

realtor:
I need to talk to clients.

me:
(starting to lose it) Can you PLEASE just let me know what time you will be coming??

realtor:
hang on (muffled sound, jib jabbering going on in the background) Ok, we come sometime at 1.

me:
Ok I will make sure and put the cat away. We have a dog too but he is friendly.

realtor:
DOES DOG HAVE FLEAS???

(This is where I wanted to scream, "WHAT THE HELL YOU STUPID F**K!!! NO ONE IN THIS F**KING HOUSE HAS FLEAS!!! AND QUITE HONESTLY, THAT'S THE LAST THING YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT IN THIS SHIT FILLED, PEE DRIZZLED HOUSE OF STANK!")

but instead I screamed:

NO!!! OUR ANIMALS DO NOT HAVE FLEAS!!!! (and yes, I said this in a rather loud, unfriendly tone)

It's now 1:35pm and still no sign of them.

Good Morning!

So now Chumley has taken to shitting OUTSIDE the litter box that sits on top of the shower curtain covered couch. This morning as Tom was rushing to get to work he said, "Chum pooped outside the box, on the couch, I'll leave it for you to clean up. Gotta go!" And he was off. He is REALLY good about cleaning up messes from Chum 99% of the time so no big deal about this. After I brush my teeth and moisturize I head downstairs and see the mess. One big dump IN the box and another one about half its size resting snuggly in the folds of the shower curtain on the couch. I head into the kitchen to get some paper towels and then decide to have a quick cup of yogurt. After that I wad up the towels and go back into the living room. Dump number two is nowhere to be found! Did it roll off the couch? Or roll under the box? I think, "This is odd."

Then...

Wrigley peeps around the corner.

Chewing.

Loud, wet, sticky chews.

Good thing I ate my yogurt because I've lost my appetite for a good portion of the day.

note to self

"Please remember to keep the laundry room door closed so Wrigley will not have access to my dirty underwear which will then be dropped at potential buyer's feet while previewing our home."

I am SO. READY. FOR THIS. TO BE OVER!!!

We just lowered our asking price another $100k and we are getting more calls which is good but still, it's a pain in the flipping ass having to pack for a move, tend to a sick cat with litter boxes in every room and keep this house looking "show ready" at a moment's notice.

We found a place to live in Seattle but we are leasing a house that we originally wanted to buy however, the owners would not budge on price. (Oh and did I mention that while we are living there we will have to have this "show ready" for their potential buyers as well???) We decided to hold off on purchasing for at least 6 months to a year because we don't want to be in the same situation that we were in here. Our house devalued over 35% in the last 2 years and we had the potential to lose $300k which is NOT an easy pill to swallow. Thankfully since this is a relocation we have worked out an acceptable offer with Tom's company so we are able to cash out some equity for purchasing a home in the future. Just the worst possible time to sell a house in S. Cal and apparently, not the best time to buy in Seattle's market. They have not been hit like we have out here, but from what we have been hearing...it's coming.

But at least we have a found a place to live even if it is short term and we can get a feel for the city, the neighborhoods, lifestyle, weather, etc. We're just taking this day by day and in a way I'm relieved we didn't commit to buying right now because who knows what could happen in the next 6 months...

I love this guy

(warning: foul but hilarious language)

Reporter gets a fly in the mouth

Dear God, I pray for the cure for cancer.

Amen.

the subject of spiders

So there must have been a recent hatchling of spider eggs in our house because I am seeing a TON of little black hairy beasts running all over the place. Today while on the phone with Tom I tell him that our house could be used as the set for Arachnophobia 3. Then he says, "Wait til you're in Seattle." I scream, "WHAT?? Do they have worse spiders there???" He says, "Yes, and they're pretty big too." I panic, choke, fight back tears, and then say, "Please tell me they don't have Wolf Spiders."

and this was his response...

"Not sure about those, but they have GIGANTIC Dandy Long Legs."

I think we have encountered our first "Tomism." My mom's got some competition.

For some reason right after he said that an image of a tap dancing, hat wearing, cane twirling spider with a smiley face popped into my head.

Maybe they won't be so bad after all.

Our latest strategy in the war on pee

Friends of ours had a cat that used to pee in various places around the house. They told us to put litter boxes in the spots where Chum pees the most and he would most likely end up peeing in the box, so here is what our house looks like now:

Living room couch:


Family room chair:

And here's Chum checking out his new bathroom:


And here I am putting him in there for a test run:


Yay! Looks like he's already got the hang of it:

(side note: I can't believe I was actually excited that my cat was about to PISS in a litter box sitting atop our shower curtain covered living room couch. It's amazing how easily we "adapt" to the abnormal.)

However, this was NOT the desired intent:


WHAT NOW?!?!?!

This house has officially become one giant SHIT BOX.

To Tom...

You are my rock.

Thank you for putting up with me, my moods, my rage.

You are stable. Unnerved.

You are admired.

And loved...

by me.

must be related to Chumley...

I'm having MAJOR computer issues (f****ing thing keeps freezing up and then IF it restarts it shuts itself right down again) so this is a miracle that I was able to post. I don't want to jinx this so I'm getting off (the computer) now.

Wrigley and the Bee

Earlier this evening I was on the phone with my mom giving her the low down on my day, which was a little bit of a cluster **** but I won't get into that right now. I had let Wrigley out after he ate and was sitting in the study while Wrigs was out back doing his business. I was watching him hunker down in his usual dump taking stance when out of the blue he jumped up like a rocket and started twisting and turning and what looked as though he was wrestling with himself. I told my mom that something is not right with Wrigs so I run outside as he's still flailing about like a mad man. I thought maybe he had caught a lizard and was trying to eat it but I couldn't see anything around him. Then all of the sudden he stopped and sat down and then did the "bottom walk." I got him to stand up and then slowly lifted up his tail and OH MY GOD, it was one full blown shit bath. I asked, "WRIGLEY???? WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOO?" And then he quickly sat back down again. Then I noticed on his back, a bee stuck to his fur. Poor guy was stung by a bee while he was taking his dump!!! I flicked off the asshole bee and then rubbed Wrig's back trying to locate a stinger but couldn't find one. I hope he's not afraid to poop after this. But this gives me an idea for his Halloween costume.

So now it's a few hours later and he's been shaking his head quite a bit so I go to check on his ears. One ear is completely stuffed with brown gook yet again (just after Tom cleaned them on Saturday) and so I grab the cleanser to flush it and then some paper towels to catch the stuff that comes out. I wadded up a little paper towel and tapped around in the ear opening and found some red blood. This has me very concerned. I doubt this would be a result of the bee sting (since he was stung on his back) so tomorrow he's going in to see the doc.

I should really just have a standing appointment at my vet's office once a week because that's about what I'm averaging with these two beasts. The vet will certainly miss us when we're gone. Though maybe not Chumley...

morning lake walk

my favorite painting

This is Tom's first oil painting. He finished it in a weekend. It sits in our living room (the room we never use) and I want it to be a focal point in our new home because I love to look at it. There's a hidden message in this painting that he did just for me and it makes me feel close to him when I see it.

Smiling (on the inside)

Last night was our goodbye party. Stories were told, games were played, cocktails were flowin' and a few tears were shed. It was one very emotional night. My heart feels full when I think of the people in my life that I have grown to love over the last 5 years, and those I just recently became close with as well. You can't place a time frame on true friendships, they just sort of happen and grab hold of you and in turn make you feel whole inside. Yesterday felt more like a celebration of these lasting friendships rather than a farewell to the life we have known.

It's nice to feel loved. And to love.

I love.

I'm going to lie back down for a while but for now here is a quote I'd like to share from the book, The Shack:

"You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you."

-Frederick Buechner.

the extent of my day

...involved changing a roll of toilet paper.

That was the only productive thing I have done.

ALL day.

Chumley's pee

is now a rosey brown color. Probably means another infection is present. He's pissed ALL OVER THE F*in house so I was able to suck up a vile to take to the lab for testing.

Hello rope's end. I seem to be seeing a lot of you lately.

wine on water

Stress

is living amongst us.

In this very house, in our bodies, in our minds.

It's not been pretty.

When it rains, it pours.

(no pun intended)

Even the animals are stressed.

Poor beasts.

This sucks.

I like the picture of wine above. I took it a week or so ago while eating sushi on the water. I just set the glass on the table and stared at it for a while. It calmed me. Wine and water, water and wine. It's been said that Jesus used to turn water into wine.

I'm really thirsty.

Breaking News??

Why is this Breaking News??? As if we didn't KNOW who was going to be nominated.

Stuff like this bugs me.

Summer in a glass

I love fresh cucumber slices in a glass of ice water. Simple, refreshing and cool. It tastes the way it smells, like a crisp salad - without honey mustard dressing. That, I don't like.

The Orchid and the Rose