Do you have Dicks?

My sister is getting Tom's Christmas present at a sporting goods store and wanted to make sure that in case he didn't like it he could exchange it at a store in Seattle. So she and my mom were discussing the big chain sporting goods stores that they're familiar with.

My mom says, "Do you have Dicks here?"

My sister says, "Don't you mean Chicks, mom?"

Mom: "No, it's Dicks. We have quite a few Dicks in Illinois."

Sis: "Well there aren't any Dicks here!"

Me: "I don't think there are any Dicks in Seattle either."

Mom: "Really? They're everywhere by me."

Not what you want to hear out of your mother's mouth.

Big 5 it is.

Quick Momism

When I picked up my mom at the airport today I asked her if she had eaten anything before the flight. Her reply? "I had some Bisconti and a cup of coffee."

say what???

This has to be my favorite momism of all times...

I was just chatting on the phone to my mom and was telling her that Tom has a work dinner tonight that he invited me to attend. I told her that I didn't feel like going because a) it's too cold to shower b) I have yet to unpack and organize my clothes so I won't have anything decent (or warm) to wear c) I have a pimple on my chin and d) I want to snuggle on the couch with the animals and watch nonsense TV.

My mom then says, "You need to force yourself to get up and get out of the house. Otherwise you are going to end up in a terrible fuck."

I am still laughing at this.

I may just go tonight so I can share this story with others.