What's Next for Palin??

I have an idea...

How about getting on the show, "Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader?" and learn a thing or two.

@#@#@&*#^*@^#&@^#*&^@*

MOTHER F*CKING PIECE OF SH*T RAT BASTARD C*CK S*CKING SON OF A B*TCH SUN BOX BLEW A MOTHER F*CKING FUSE IN THIS HELL HOLE CRAP ASS HOUSE!!! I'M LOSING ME F*CKING MIND RIGHT NOW!!!!

FOOD GOBLIN

I love how I buy these on Monday:


and by Tuesday night, there is only one left. I've had ZERO.

I also love how I buy these bagel chips:


to dip into this hummus:


but when I open the fridge to find said hummus, it's gone. Yet, there's a full bag of bagel chips! WTF did you eat the hummus with TOM!?!??!?!?

MY SUN BOX IS HERE! MY SUN BOX IS HERE!

My BOX o' SUN has ARRIVED!!!

HALLELUJIAH AMEN NAMASTE BONJOUR TELETUBBIE JOY TO THE WORLD GLORY BE! (you're right Lizziebelle, teletubbie is quite fitting when one is this excited.)

In just a few short hours I will be as happy as the sun box lady!!!

Look at her - chatting away on the phone, all happy like, sipping her mimosa while enjoying a nice warm bowl of oatmeal! That will be me!!!


Who am I kidding.

That bitch probably lives in Laguna Beach.

pack it up, pack it in

where do I begin
this weather is a sin
I'd rather live in ho chi minh

That's my little ditty for today.

I'm swapping out my cute summery dresses, tanks and flip flops:



for this unflattering, unisex crap:


I look like a frickin' lumberjack heading into town. "No really, I'm not here to chop down your trees, I'd just like a cup of coffee." Though I hear plaid is making a comeback.

But I'd much rather be wearing this right now:



This made me laugh today:



Now I want to make a sock monkey.

There is Hope.

And then there is this.

This country still has a looooong way to go on acceptance and equality. We should start discriminating against these ignorant chumps who wish to control everyone else's life and right to happiness and love. I guess that's asking too much of a close minded bigot who's brain is the size of a pea. And how the hell does supporting Prop 8 "protect California children?" Can someone explain that please???

I still have hope and yesterday's election restored my faith in the good of this country. But we still have a long road ahead...

This explains why home prices out here are still so high. They haven't dropped like the rest of the country.

Real Estate Markets Rebounding

A Letter to the Sun

Dear Sun,

We need to talk.

It seems like we don't see each other as much as we used to and I'd like to go back to the way we used to be. Is that possible? Are you willing to be more present in our relationship? I can't be the only one reaching out. You must make more of an effort to come out and see me. I'm always ready, willing and waiting, day after day, but...

you're never there.

We used to see each other over 320 days a year and now, all of the sudden you just disappear?? Why? It's not fair.

I'm not sure what happened yesterday. It seemed like you were making an effort, but then, as soon as I ran home to change my clothes and grab your glasses you went away. Why must you tease me so? Even at 4.5 billion years old, you still act immature at times.

I know back in California there may have been some days where I took you for granted. But it was only a few weekend mornings here and there in a midst of a hangover. Sometimes your bright rays would beam me in the eyes and on occasion, I may have even shouted at you and for that I do apologize. Please don't hold that over my head now. Or wait, please do. I don't know, either way, will you please just hang over my head???

I miss your warmth, I miss your beauty, I miss your energy. I miss you.

And it's not just me. The undersigned would like to see you again too and each wrote a personal message:

1) Tom - "Uh hello??? GOLF???"
2) Wrigley - "Mommy says my wet fur stinks and that hurts my feelings."
3) Chumley - "I could give a rat's ass if I ever see you again."
4) Our convertibles - "It's only a matter of time before we're up on craigslist."
5) The plant - "Help."

We used to have a lot of fun together, Sun. I'll never forget all the good times and I just want some more. I don't think that's too much to ask. You know where I live, so please, stop by and see me.

Oh, one last thing. I wasn't going to tell you this, but you leave me no choice. In your absence I have to resort to this. I don't mean to make you jealous because NO ONE can take your place. It's just that I'm starting to go a little cRaZy.

Until then...

A little song for you

Love,

Your #1 Worshipper

More open houses

We hit more open houses today. All I have to say is, never attempt a tampon change in an older home that doesn't have updated plumbing. It's really too bad cuz that house had potential. But, I'll never show my face in that place again. I seriously think Tom is ready to divorce me.

A friend of a friend's dog

Isn't he so cute???

His face looks like I'm using a zoom type lens but that's really just how his face is normally. It's long and gets poofy around the mouth. He's such a snuggle bear.

Addicted

I can't stop making these happy bastards.

Misery probably doesn't love company

I'm trying to get back the reason I started this blog which was to Live Happy. But it's been a struggle. I reread some posts from this time last year and the person writing back then seems so foreign to me now. I have become someone else who I don't like very much. This isn't me and this isn't who I want to be. I am taking steps to try and get those happy feelings back so I thought I'd put some happy flowers up on here and go back to the old name. We ordered a sun light last night and I've got a call into a psychiatrist. I'm heading into a downward spiral that I'm not able to get myself out of without some help. I've been feeling like this since that fateful day in May when we found out about moving away. I anticipated this depression for months now, but anticipating and actually living in it are very different. The last time I felt this miserable was June 10, 2006 the day my Dad died.

In an effort to try and be happy I am only going to post positive things on this blog and I've moved "Where's the Sun" to a new place where I can unload my negativity and misery. I'll link it in the side bar so for those of you who want to check in and witness all the shit that is stockpiling inside of me, feel free. But for those of you who don't or will be offended by all the bitching and moaning then it's probably not a good idea to visit. I'm not censoring a bit. It's raw, it's real and it's what I feel and need to get it out before I go off the deep end. My goal is try to and post 1 for 1, so everytime I spew out negativity I have to balance it with something positive (as suggested by a caring friend) so that is what I will do. Or try to at least.

So here goes something positive. This morning while watching the Today show I laughed at Matt Lauer's halloween costume. He was an egg: Humpty Dumpty.

Drive Carefully

"Cause you may just hit someone walking down the city street reading a magazine or carrying a box."

(these signs are around our neighborhood and they make me laugh. actually I almost hit someone the first time I saw it because I was fixated on that picture.)

Depressing

Above is the American Heritage Dictionary's definition of Depressing. They could not be more accurate. So what's the definition for "10 days of rainy depressing weather?"

And of course I have to torture myself and check the forecast back home.

My friend sent me this link highlighting point #2.

And it's true. I will never, ever understand.

I told Tom that companies who relocate people out here should provide them with a welcome packet containing the name of a therapist and a bottle of prozac. Or a noose. Not sure which one I'd opt for right now.

=(

yummy yummy

Tom had to do business in Naples, Florida (lucky bastid) and is coming home late tonight.

I wanted to make him some sort of surprise treat when he got home but wasn't sure what until I got to the grocery store.

So,

what do you do when this is on sale:


and these:


are 2 for $4???



Why, of course, you make this!


Which now, looks like this:


Someone in this meat locker may or may not have had the munchies.

House hunting

(or haunting?)

Tom and I have been hitting open houses as much as we can and I thought I'd share our last house encounter.

As we're walking up to the house (which was an old 30's box style craftsman) there was a head stone in the front yard. I grabbed Tom and said, "We can't live here! Someone's buried in their front yard!" Tom said, "Ummmm...dipshit, it's a Halloween decoration." But, to my defense, this tombstone looked authentic. And, they had no other Halloween decorations around the yard or house so it looked as though it very well could have been someone's great Aunt buried right out in front. And I have been so out of sorts that I completely forgot Halloween is just around the corner.

So we enter the home and the agent greets us. It's toasty warm and had an adorable front room with a cute little kitty sleeping on the couch, which of course I had to pet. Then, we follow the agent into the kitchen and it's a disaster. It has this weird stand alone counter with these 2 gigantic barrel things underneath that were cracked and rusty. I say to Tom, "What the heck is this???" Tom sort of laughs and says, "Maybe they have coal heating." I say, "This is 2008! Who the hell heats their house with coal?!?" Tom gives me this weird look and I mumble some more nonsense about the bootleg kitchen as the agent takes us through to the basement.

There were so many rooms down there, none of which were finished and the agent explains to us that in the 40's this house was used as a boarding house for students. I peep my head into all the dark rooms each with a tiny window the size of a shoe box and said, "That's creepy! People actually lived in here? Could this be haunted?? This reminds me of the basement in Silence of the Lambs." The agent sort of laughs as Tom is now shuffling me rather quickly through the basement back up the stairs. We follow the agent up another flight to the 2nd floor.

We walk into the master bedroom which was pretty cool, tons of windows as well as this closed in porch with windows all around. I open the door to walk out onto the porch and after one step the floor buckles. Tom's about to follow me out and I yell, "Don't move! The floor's going to cave in!!!" Then I hop back into the bedroom and tell him how freaky that was and how I felt like I was going to fall to my death. By this time the agent has left the bedroom and Tom tells me to please just stop talking.

So now we enter the bathroom and it's as though it was never updated. Tiny tub, pedestal sink and cock eyed toilet. I ask, "Where's the master bathroom?" The agent says, "This is the only bathroom." Tom starts to thank the agent for his time but of course I interrupt and say, "I don't understand how a house this size can have only one bathroom! Or why wouldn't the owners at least update the one they have?" And that's when "the agent" says, "Well we've been here over 10 years with 2 kids and haven't had any problems!"

Holy shit. This guy owns the place. All of the things I had previously said start playing in my head and I feel like a complete and total ass. I quickly try to back track over the bathroom comment and tell him that since we moved from out of state, we plan on having a lot of out of town visitors and it's more challenging to share a bath when it's not family. I don't think it mattered though.

We say our goodbyes and the second we step outside I see the sign, FOR SALE BY OWNER. How the hell did I miss that coming in??? Tom then says, "OMG you are so f*cking embarrassing! Next time either keep your mouth shut or just assume that every open house we go into is shown by the owners. I can't BELIEVE the things you said in there!"

As we walked to the car Tom went over all of the things I said and I wanted to go back to the house and apologize to the guy. I probably would have if his shit splat house wasn't so outrageously overpriced.

Goldens in Love

This morning on my walk with Wrigs we spotted another Golden walking with its momma across a very busy street. Wrigs of course stopped and refused to move another step and then wagged his tail so hard that it looked like it hurt. The other Golden then sits down and stares over at Wrigs and refuses to move as well. The momma starts trying to pull and tug and this dog wasn't going to budge. I thought about crossing but it was not in a designated cross walk area and there were too many cars and busses whizzing by so I didn't think that would be smart. But it was really cute for those few moments to watch Wrigs and this other Golden stare at each other across this busy city street. It was love at first sight.

When I finally got Wrigs to move he kept turning back to look at his lover (who could be male or female, we're cool either way) and he/she made a few turns of the head to look back at Wrigs. At least this time, Wrigs held off on taking a huge dump but did so once we turned the corner. He's growing into a fine young gentleman.

I hope we see them again.

I want my meat and potatoes...

NOW!

When talking with people who have lived here for a while there is a common theme. Everyone says, "Just wait til July when it really warms up. It stays warm through September!" When I do the math, that's only 3 months of warmth. Now I understand the cold rainy weather that is upon us for the next several months will definitely make me appreciate those 3 months of warmth, but why wait when one could have that 365 days a year!?!? I'm just starting to freak out a bit because I'm really cold all the time and I don't think I'm going to last until July.

To me that's like sticking a nice juicy plate of succulent prime rib with garlic mashed potatoes in front of someone and saying, "Just wait til next Spring to take a bite."


Maybe I should become a Vegetarian. I have a feeling I'm going to be a vegetable for the next 9 months anyway, so what the hell.

I tried to do handstands for you...

...but I can't anymore.

Gary Unmarried

Just watched an episode for the first time and it's really cute!

ferry ride

frozen tid bits

I'm sorting through my box of unmentionables and I leave the bedroom for a few minutes and return to this:

That would be my strapless bra insert inside of Wrig's mouth. He now has a new toy. I'll throw some granny panties for Chum to play with so he's not left out.

Yesterday we spent the afternoon touring Open Houses in Queen Anne. One thing I noticed upon entering each home was that they were soooo warm! I couldn't believe how nice it felt to walk into a home and actually be able to take off your hat, scarf, gloves, etc. I made this comment to one of the showing agents and explained to him that the house we are renting is FREEZING all the time. He asked where it was and I told him and he knew exactly the house we were in and said that it's been on the market for about a year and he has shown it to several clients and that has been the biggest complaint! He said even in the warmer months, the house was still uncomfortably cold. As I type this right now my hands are are starting to tingle. For shits and giggles I took a photograph of the heater that I carry around with me that registers room temperature. He is the temp in the bathroom:


And here is the temp in what was going to be my Craft room/Guest room but decided that it's too uncomfortable for any human or beast to spend more than 7 seconds in here:


Wrigs has been so cold that he lets me bundle him up in his blanket.

He says, "Welcome back KBL!!"

And now for some warmth...

We spent Saturday afternoon with Karen, Gregg and David. We had such a great time and they were fantastic hosts and showed us their adorable, picturesque town. Wrigs even got a glimpse of Latte, their big fuzzy outdoor cat, but Latte was not as keen to make friends right away. He had to be pried from the deck and put inside. Poor guy! But it was quite entertaining to watch Gregg carry Latte like a sack of potatoes into the house. I'm sure many of you have seen the beautiful pictures Karen has posted of her neighborhood and views. They are even more breathtaking in person. Truly a house filled with and surrounded by love and warmth!!!

And for those of you who have been reading blogs for a while, do you know who I saw outside a coffee shop??? Liz from As The Tumor Turns. Crazy thing, this blogging world isn't it?

Karen and I went into this cute little bakery to get some dog treats for Wrigs and we both had a moment of hysterics. Here was their "Fresh Fruit" display at the bakery:


What do you think? Fail blog worthy???

Last night my girlfriend and I were WWW (webcamming with wine) and this is what happened as a result:

Her showing me some yoga poses because Tom told us we were going to get hunch backs from the way we were sitting. Her screen froze on this pose and it made me laugh soooo hard:


Then I was telling her how dirty my hair is (what riveting conversations!) and that I could pull out strands and they would just stick straight out. And here's exhibit A:


She was telling me to "phone home" after this.

Ok, the room has now warmed up to a balmy 58 degrees so I'm going to attempt a shower and a shampoo! Too bad these heaters aren't waterproof.

The Ellen Show

If you guys get a chance to watch her show today, do it! Hilary Swank is on and her intro was hilarious! She is really funny.

Oh wait! I just found a link!

So funny!

Baking for warmth

I have a Pumpkin Spice Cake baking right now and I've spent the last 42 minutes with my face and hands pressed up against the oven. And every few minutes I open up the door and get a heat blast to the face which feels soooooo good. I don't even care if my eye lashes get singed off. This kitchen has a double oven which originally I thought was a complete waste of an appliance but now I'm not so sure. The lower oven could warm my lower extremities and the animals too.

The cake is almost done. The house smells really good. Hopefully it covers up my stank.

Brrrrrrrrr!

I reeeeeeally need to shower, but it's only 37 degrees outside which makes it feel about 47 degrees in our house. Too cold to disrobe and stand under running water.

Thank God for these. I know they're typically used for campers or other outdoor activities devoid of water but they work just fine as a bootleg shower.

Tom's a lucky man.

Sweet Song

Yesterday
I woke up
With your head on my arm
My hand was numb
Circulation gone
But I dared not move the pretty sleeping one

The sun had painted
Patterns on your face
As you breathed Sunday air
You rolled onto
My open arm
I became your pillow; you let me smooth your hair

I will sing you morning lullabies
You are beautiful and peaceful this way
I know you have to close your eyes on everyone
Let me help you, I'll sing you to sleep
With morning lullabies

Let me lie in the curl
Of your body tonight
And I will hear you tumble into sleep
I will watch you heal, watch you heal with me
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

I will sing you morning lullabies
You are beautiful and peaceful this way
I know you have to close your eyes on everyone
Let me help you, sing you sleep
With morning lullabies

I know you have to close
Your eyes on everyone
Let me help you I'll sing you to sleep
With morning lulla-bye, bye, baby
Close your eyes and I will sing you
Morning lullabies
And I will sing you
Morning lullabies