Allow me to introduce:

The shit machines.

Now, I mean that in the most endearing way, really I do. I LOVE my animals and everything about them but OH HOLY HELL I don't think it's possible for them to crap anymore than they do. 

While I was listening attentively to a conference call (where others just LOOOOOVE to hear themselves squawk) I decided to have some fun with my calculator and figure out how many poops I've cleaned up between the two of these blessed beasts.

And here's the result:

So let's say on average Wrigley poops two times a day. This is pretty conservative because at times he can poop 3 times on one walk but I'm going to keep it simple with just a 2 poop average per day.

So that's 730 poops a year, and he's been around 5 years and 3 months bringing his grand poop total to: 3830 poops that I (or the husband) have schlepped around in baggies or tossed out with scoopers. 

And then...Chumley.

This cat can easily pinch off  3-5 logs a day but some of his turds are little nuggets so I won't count those and stick with an average of 3 times a day for this bomb dropper.

That's 1095 poops a year, he's been around 16 years, 7 months bringing his poop count to 18,780.

Add the two together and we have a whopping total of...

(ok I feel like there needs to be a drum roll here so just imagine one in your mind for the moment)

DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...DRUM ROL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS... DRUM ROLL SOUNDS...

a whopping total of....

22,610 POOPS!!!

AND COUNTING!

Ok so now can you understand why I call them the shit machines!?!? Feeling really sorry for landfills at the moment. 

Wrigley makes a new friend

this is...

The BEST deodorant of all times.

And, it sells for $12 at Nordstrom yet is $18 everywhere else. It lasts forever, has a subtle light Cashmere Mist scent and makes you feel good. That's really all I have to say.

(I'm just distracting myself from the tornadoes that continue to obliterate our country. Parents searching for children, people buried and injured, animals too. It's just...too much.)

Aha moment of the day...

Toxic people need to stay the hell out of my energy field. No more patience, tolerance or enabling the behavior. Kindly spread your dysfunction elsewhere. I'm done.

Someone's feeling better!

Ouch!

Know why? Because I got sunscreen in my eyeball.

But guess what? I'M NOT COMPLAINING!!

because...

I GOT SUNSCREEN IN MY EYEBALL!!

(which, for those who may be slow, translates to: it's sunny enough to actually wear sunscreen.)

Test photo from phone

feeling gratitude

(from my facebook post but it feels good to share on here too)

In the past month, I can count on only ONE hand how many times I've had stomach issues. This has not happened in close to 3 years. Every day, there was pain and every time I took medication to "help" the pain, I was only worsening my condition. Up until a month ago, I pretty much gave up trying and was ready to accept the fact this is just how it has to be. I am grateful to my friend Kendra, who did not allow me to give up and I'm also grateful for my new doctor here in West Seattle who is on the ball with treatment as well as lifestyle/diet modifications. For once it is sooooo nice to be able to eat a meal in a restaurant and actually finish it without bolting to the bathroom or worse yet, throwing up before you make it in there. I never knew I could actually feel this good again and every day I wake up I think "Again? I feel good? I am so lucky!!"  So, no matter when our world ends, for all of humanity or for each of us individually, I just wanted to share my gratitude to my friends and family who have been supportive throughout this process. Feeling very blessed and it feels good to express it on here. Thanks for letting me.

plan of attack

What I'm taking to combat the yeasties:

AM
-Drink a tall glass of filtered water (it's supposed to be warm but that makes me gag so it's refrigerated.)
-Drink one cup of detox tea
-Slowly sip a protein shake with added fiber (I have vanilla or chocolate flavors and can add blueberries, strawberries or blackberries to the mix.)

while sipping the shake I also take:
-2  Ultra flora plus DF probiotics, each capsule contains 15 billion live organisms (lactobacillus acidophilus and bifidobacterium lactis)
-1 or 2 digestive enzymes (Gastri-Gest is the the kind my doctor gave me. It's vegetarian and BPA and Phthalate free, whatever that means and you take this after you've eaten about half of your meal/shake and then slowly finish the rest)
-2  Caprylic Plus Acid tablets which is what is supposed to kill the yeast. (and this is what gives off some weird side effects)

LUNCH
same as above except no Caprylic Acid tablets.

PM
Same as AM routine but can eat a restricted meal of certain veggies, fish, chicken or meat (once a week) and brown rice or quinoa.

Just for comparisons sake my previous doctor had recommended some over the counter probiotics which contained 1.5 billion live organisms and I was taking that only once daily with a meal. (When I remembered.) On average in order for the probiotics to be effective the dosage is typically between 1 to 10 billion units a day. I am now taking 90 billion units a day because I have ZERO healthy bacteria in my system.

Before this protocol can be started it is very important to cut out ALL dairy, sugar, wheat, alcohol, caffeine, all those things I mentioned in an earlier post and maintain a very limited diet for at least 2 weeks before you start to treat the candida. And then once you start taking the pills and capsules you need to maintain that diet throughout the duration of treatment. As little as one glass of wine can set you back to square one in the early stages of treatment. And when I asked why the hell isn't surgery an option to remove it all from the gut for immediate relief!?! The answer is simple. After surgery you need to take antibiotics to prevent or treat possible infections. And antibiotics will bring the candida right back into your system, just as fast as it was removed.

Also here is a very in depth look at the function of our colons and how they are often overlooked as just the "sewer pipe" of our digestive system.

Journey to the Center of your Colon

The article is a bit lengthy but I urge you to read through it all, you'd be surprised to see just how many conditions are tied to an imbalance in our colons and also learn that the average person can have up to 20 pounds of rotted sludge imbedded in the lining of their colons. Don't read this while eating (unless you're trying to lose your appetite.)

Ok, that's all I have for now.

Stay well and feel good!!!

dinner time rants

If you're going to spray the microwave door with WD-40, then don't come crying to me when your dinner tastes like...WD-40!!!

When dinner is ready I will say, "Dinner is ready." with a smile in my voice once and only once. I won't continue to repeat this 3 or 4 or 15 more times because if someone chooses to ignore the sweet call that their dinner (made with love and tenderness) is in fact hot and ready to be eaten then it's not my problem when it goes cold...and limp (think steamed sugar snapped peas.)

I do appreciate the effort that is made to come on the first dinner call however, stopping along the way to check a knick on the baseboard and then looking for spackle or putty or whatever the flip you need to fix it THAT VERY SECOND kind of throws the whole "well, I got up right after you said it was ready" argument out the window, don't ya think????

I'm a real treat to be around these day. 

Can't you tell???

3 weeks: dairy, gluten, caffeine, alcohol and (refined) sugar free

afternoon update:
My eyes have not stopped tearing all day. It looks like I'm crying non stop. Wondering if immunity is lowered, causing reactions to environmental allergens that may not have had an effect before. As I'm typing this tears are falling on the keyboard. Also learned that the fatigue symptoms (falling asleep while sitting up) are the body's way of shutting down to avoid feeling the extent of the toxicity as the yeast dies off. So while that's a good thing, it's not necessarily the best side effect to have unless you can spend the day sleeping! I wonder if this is what narcolepsy feels like. Drinking my energy booster drink as well as lots and lots of water to flush all these toxins out!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And I was doing really well but today I'm having some weird stuff going on. I'm taking probiotics and digestive enzymes 3 x's a day as well as Caprylic acid twice daily. Apparently reactions to the diet and the treatment is normal as the disgusting yeast cells die off but right now it's none too pleasant. Stomach blew up like a balloon (which is not the unusual part) but I'm EXHAUSTED. While sitting in my office chair I fell asleep holding the phone as I was about to make a call. And my eyes and nose are watering non stop. Not mucus-y stuff just lots of drippage. And I'm freezing- hands, arms, legs, feet, everything is cold to the touch. Originally I was supposed to be done with the cleanse at the end of this month but my doctor has advised that I stick with it another 5 weeks especially while taking the acid pills. That was a punch to the gut but in the long run if that's what has to happen to kill these yeasty sons of bitches I will do it. But I am CRAVING sugar so bad right now. I may or may not have poured a stevia packet onto a teaspoon and slammed that sucker down.

On positive note I am able to have organic decaf coffee beans that are swiss water processed only and thankfully there are a few coffee shops close by who carry those beans. I'm on my second cup today and now that I think of it, maybe that's partly why I'm having some weird reaction right now. I haven't had coffee, even decaf in weeks so maybe my stomach is reacting to the acid or something. Who the flip knows. I was really doing great with all this because I was feeling so much better and I understand that it's going to get worse before all is said and done and it can take YEARS for all this crap to get out of the system so realistically I know there will be days like this but it just sucks when you have to be so regimented about every single thing you put in your mouth and then as a result you still end up feeling like a train wreck.

Just needed to vent about this. I think I'll go sniff a Snicker's bar now.

Coconut Oil

I'm in love with coconut oil. I started using it a few days ago and am hooked. It is great for cooking because it contains acids that kill bacteria and viruses by breaking down their cell walls which is imperative for healing candida. You can also scoop and eat a spoonful of it a few times a day to put healthy fats back into your body. And?? It's the best skin moisturizer especially for dry hands, cracked heals and elbows. It even says you can use it as conditioner which smells sooo good, not too coconuty, just a light nutty aroma. I just put some on my lips and am sitting here licking it off because it tastes good too! Kind of like butter but with just a hint of coconut.

You can get it at any health food store or natural products grocer. Prices range from about $7 for a small jar up to $25 for larger. I found the jar above on sale for $9 marked down from $16 at Super Supplements. A little goes a long way so it's definitely a great investment.

Here are some more health benefits.

update for those suffering from redundant colon/digestive issues

So it appears I have some more answers regarding my digestive wars.

In addition to the lovely colon issues, I've also developed candida, aka a yeast takeover.

I won't go into all the specifics right now because I'm still in the process of figuring out the best approach for treatment. I will say, a medical doctor did not diagnose this. It was through the help of a nutritionist friend of mine as well as a naturopath that finally shed light on what has been wreaking havoc on my insides and making my digestive life hell. The one GOOD thing is that I do not have any symptoms outside of the gut (in regards to yeast overgrowth). I have only had one yeast infection *down there* and that was years ago in college. I also don't have skin disorders or athlete's foot (as far as I know?) but I did have a yuck toe a while back so who knows if that's related. But, in addition to the gut, I have a host of other symptoms that are not pretty and I was going out of my mind trying to manage them. It finally became unbearable.

And are you ready for the best part? I have probably been susceptible to this most of my adult life based on my history with antibiotics in the past, (was on them ALL THE TIME in college for strep throat until I finally got my tonsils out) and that is a huge contributing factor to candida growth. However, my body was able to fight it off naturally. It wasn't until moving here that this shit (or yeast) hit the fan and spiraled out of control. And here's one reason why...

"Vitamin D is another nutrient that is essential to healing. The majority of people today are deficient in Vitamin D. The best way to get Vitmain D is through exposure to the sun. Our skin uses the rays from the sun to manufacture Vitamin D. 

Most of us work during the day so we are not able to get adequate sun exposure. A fair-skinned Caucasian needs 30 minutes of exposure on half of their body per day in the summer. In the winter, the time needed is increased. The darker your skin tone, the more exposure you need.

The artificial form of Vitamin D added to milk and other foods does not have the same beneficial effects as natural Vitamin D. If you cannot get adequate sun exposure, then you need to supplement with a natural Vitamin D product. I recommend a Vitamin D Spray"

This information above is from this site and while I pop vitamin d pills like candy, it's still not enough. Plus I am cold, like not just "oh I'm a little chilly", I mean my hands and feet and face are ice cold to the touch. In order to help fight the candida attacking the body your body temperature needs to be regulated. I think the reason it has been so bad these past couple months is that we are still coming off a cold, wet winter (moldy environments are really bad for candida) and that is just what it needs to take over. Now people may look at me crazy (this has happened) because I have literally raced home when I see a glimmer of the sun appear and strip down half naked and stand in the rays in my bedroom with the door open. I've been doing this even in the winter months when it's cold, even before I knew about the candida. It's as if my body was telling me GET IN THAT SUN NOW. So hopefully, once it warms up and we have more consistent sunshine (fingers crossed?) that my symptoms will be somewhat alleviated for a while.

I'm also pretty sure this is why I'm still struggling with the adjustments of moving here.  It's been very challenging at times, affecting me physically and mentally and after feeling "off" for so long, I felt defeated and was ready to accept this is just how it's got to be. I am sooooo grateful for those who wouldn't let me give in to this and kept pushing me even though I was being a stubborn beast. And I won't be going back to my medical doctor anytime soon. 

Just wanted to pass this along to others who may be trying to figure out what is going on with their own stomach issues. Candida can also lead to a variety of other medical conditions (ADD/ADHD, depression, eye problems, eczema, psoriasis, fibromyalgia, diabetes, and cancer and typically the doctors are treating only those, before discovering the root cause. As I'm still figuring this out, I'll be avoiding all dairy, sugar, gluten and alcohol because it's been 8 days since I've had any and the results are already very positive. Oh and vinegar is another one to avoid. Learned that the hard way after having a little basalmic vinegar on a very bland salad. And one more thing, in an earlier post I mentioned how I would have horrible nausea after drinking the Almond Milk by Silk, and that was because it was reacting to the existing stuff in my gut. Before throwing it out, I waited a few more days and tried it again and was able to tolerate it. The nausea has greatly subsided but as the candida die off there are a host of other side effects. And that's what brings me to the now, trying to manage the best course of action to treat this with the least amount of side effects. 

With the support of dear friends, family as well as folks with the knowledge behind this, I'm hopeful to get this under control and start feeling healthy again. And once that happens I know I'll come to embrace everything about living here (fingers crossed again!) I love EVERYTHING else about being here! I really do. 

And if anyone has any questions please feel free to let me know. I only hope by posting this, that others may be able to benefit if they are struggling from something unknown too.

Don't give up!

churchy stuff

I went to church today, it was a Catholic church but unfortunately it was for a funeral. Haven't been inside a church too much lately, unless it's for a wedding, baptism or funeral. I'd been somewhat turned off by religion after high school, and now looking back I'm not so sure it was the religion itself, but more so the fact that I had been in Catholic school since age 3 thru 17 and then having a weekly mass on top of that seemed like overkill. The only part of the mass that I'd pay any attention to (aside from ogling one or two altar boys) was the Homily. The rest of the mass was dull because it was the same structure of readings from the bible, then the hymns were soooo slow and dragged on forever and then the rites and rituals always made me question, why do we have to see this again every week? But I liked the Homily (depending on the priest, some were too preachy) because it was real, not read, and conversational. I also looked forward to giving the sign of peace because that meant church was almost over and the energy was always different since you sat next to new people every week. Sometimes my parents would go to the early mass which left me and my sister having to go to the 11:00 mass alone. My sister would drive us (she's 7 years older so imagine a 16 year old and a 9 year old in this scenario) and we'd be dressed in church clothes and leave the house on time and then we'd pull up to the church, she'd wait in the car, I'd hop out, run up the steps and grab a bulletin from the back table and run back in her car and off we'd go to Dunkin' Donuts. Or if it was warm we'd go to the beach for an hour. We did this off and on, not every time because we would see our parent's friends and then get busted so then we'd have to come in. For a few years this went on until one day during mass with our parents, the priest ended the mass stating that it had been brought to his attention that there have been "bulletin grabbers" aka me and my sister and several other high school aged kids, and they would no longer leave the bulletins in the back of the church. Instead, they would be handed out at the end of mass by a clergy man or woman. My sister's eyes almost popped out of her head as did mine. And I could have sworn the priest was looking right at us when he spoke.

At the church today I found something very interesting. In the pew pockets they had little sheets of paper titled "Pew Art" with pencils as well. On the paper was a message to parents to allow their young children to use this paper to doodle or draw. I thought, how awesome is this?? If we had this growing up I probably would have enjoyed the experience a bit more too. (I also wanted to add a letter "F" to the word "Art".) Back in the day, my sister and I purposely learned sign language (the alphabet and a few other choice phrases) so we could secretly sign dirty words to try and make each other laugh. And something else I remembered today while kneeling in church -when I was little I would make sure I had nail polish on before mass so I could pick it all off (it took about 2 minutes a nail so that killed about twenty minutes) but some of it would sprinkle down on the pew in front of me and so many times the unsuspecting people sitting down had sparkly pink flecks stuck to their rears. My sister and I used to get a kick outta that too. Actually so did my Dad.

I do remember insane laughing fits that we couldn't control because we heard a squeaky shoe or something that sounded like a fart, that probably wasn't or maybe it was, or the token weird people we'd see every week that we had ridiculously nicknamed. There was a guy who looked just like this guy:



That's Chef Barth from the show You can't do that on Television and my sister and I were always on the lookout for Barth sightings at church. When we spotted him we were so excited cause we knew we were in for a treat. He had a few nervous habits, like smoothing the top of his hair but he would do it so suddenly and jerky and we would keep count how many times he did it and then sign language updates. God, if we only had text messaging back then!

And there were ALWAYS those people...large, rotund women mostly, who thought they were opera singers and would BELT OUT THE WORDS to every song and usually, their voices made my head bobble. When one of them sat behind us we would get the worst fits of giggles to the point where we'd have to hide our heads in our hands and make it look like we were deep in prayer as our bodies shook and popped. I remember car rides home where my mom would say, "I can't take you to church anymore, you have serious problems." And I'd be soooo excited because I thought, "Finally I'm free!" But it was always a forgotten statement by the following Sunday. Our church had a sound proof Crying Room for babies and small children and I often thought why not make a laughing room for out of control kids and teens? Probably because it would be packed. With adults too.

So anyway, today's church experience sparked a multitude of memories, so many more still swirling in my head but I'm tired, it's been an emotional day and I think it's time to pray for forgiveness and go to bed.

milks

I haven't been updating on here much, not for lack of things to say but I just have not been able to find solitude long enough to sit and recap all that has taken place over the last month or so. And quite frankly, I don't have the energy to do so. Instead I'll just with what's on my mind right now.

My lovely digestive issues have finally done me in. It has become a debilitating lifestyle and one that is just not as simple as eating better.  For the past 3 days I've eliminated all dairy, most wheat, and processed (or refined) sugar from my diet. It has NOT been easy. But I'm doing this in preparation for a 28 day cleanse to completely rid my body of toxins and then slowly re-introduce certain food groups to see what is triggering these "episodes". I will still be able to eat some solid foods on this cleanse and will also be drinking a couple of protein shakes daily with extra fats to maintain weight, nutrition and energy levels. But for 28 days my diet will be extremely limited, and I will not be able to have any caffeine (KILL ME NOW) or alcohol (which is easier to give up than caffeine!) but in order to do this successfully I need to stick to it. Even after these 3 days of eliminating dairy, and cutting way back on wheat and sugar I'm already feeling better.

I'm substituting a few different kinds of dairy free milks and what I have found is that this kind, Pure Almond by Silk, tastes ok but after about a half hour of drinking it, I get EXTREMELY nauseous. Don't know why this is, I don't have an allergy to almonds but for some reason this does not agree with me. And it's the kind of nausea that lingers and does not go away when you try to lay down and be still. I won't be buying this again.

But on the flip side, I have tried these other milks, Vanilla flavored Rice Milk and Coconut Milk and both are very good on their own or even mixed together. I'm not sure how they would be in cereal since I don't eat cereal anymore but these milks are delicious shaken and poured over a tall glass of ice. I also like to drink them with a straw, for some reason it just tastes better. And I make my morning iced green tea lattes with them. 

I'll probably start updating more on here once I officially start the cleanse because I feel this would be a good place to log my progress. We'll see how that goes! Hope you all are well and your tummies are settled. 

xoxo

Our Grape Ape

Last week we had quite a scare with Wrigs. At some point in the early morning hours, Chumley knocked over a 2 pound container of grapes that were sitting on the kitchen counter. Wrigley ate all of them. When I realized what had happened, I immediately called our vet. They weren't open so I left a message. I didn't feed Wrigley breakfast because I thought he would probably need his stomach pumped. I let him outside and while waiting for him to do his business, I googled a bit on grapes and dogs, knowing they were toxic to some, not all, but that's when I really lost it. The vet called back in minutes and said to bring him in ASAP. They gave him IV fluids to flush his kidneys and fed him charcoal bits to absorb all the toxins from the grapes. He spent the whole day at the hospital. I came home and just cried for hours, not knowing what was going to happen to him. I called to check in on him and he was doing well. His kidney levels were elevated but still within normal range so the vet didn't seem too worried about that. He stayed there several more hours so they could monitor him and then I brought him home, early evening. And he was so weak. 

He would sit up and whine and then lay down and moan. It was so sad to see him so miserable. At one point he buried his head in my armpit and started breathing really heavy and then ran over to the carpet and threw up EVERYWHERE. Let's just say we'll never have light colored carpet in this house (or any house) ever again. And did I mention they fed him lots and lots of charcoal??? I called the vet to let them know he was vomiting and wondered if I should bring him to the EV (Emergency Vet). They said that the vomiting was probably from drinking water, which he did right when he got home, but if he did it again then to bring him to the EV. I set up camp on the couch that night and stayed up watching him sleep, making sure I could see the puffs of his belly as he took each breath. He wasn't feeling so good that night.

The toxins in grapes may or may not show any signs for up to 48 hours so we were not out of the woods yet. The next morning I brought him back to the vet for more blood work. Before we went,  I wanted to stop at our local coffee house first, so he didn't associate every car ride with a vet visit. But he could sense something was up. Especially since people were hugging and loving him and offering treats which he couldn't have and when I explained why they were very concerned. He definitely knew this wasn't our only stop.

After that visit we came home and I was instructed to keep an eye on him and watch for any changes in behavior, appetite, discomfort, etc. I decided I'd use this time to get some Spring cleaning done and when I finished vacuuming I walked in the bedroom and saw the two of them on the bed together. It looked like I interrupted something?? Chumley was very concerned when Wrigley was at the vet the day before, he actually had some sort of an episode, where he flipped out for about a half hour, growling, panting, running and stopping, scratching, biting, it was a bit strange. But he seemed much calmer when Wrigley came home and for the two of them to sit so close together like this, they were definitely communicating.

Saturday morning was the 48 hour mark so we were given the all clear that he should be able to resume normal activity. We were so happy about this. Wrigs rejoiced by grabbing his 2 favorite new toys and posed for this picture. One thing I learned from this experience is if your dog or cat consumes something that is potentially dangerous like grapes (or chocolate, onions, garlic) don't wait for signs to show up. Get them into the vet immediately! By the time symptoms arise, it could be too late.

Where is home?

When you grow up in a professional baseball family, your life as a child is never really normal.

And I think that's where a lot of my abnormalcies (is that a word?) in my adult life, stem from. (should never end a sentence with a preposition but without the word "from" it just sounded incomplete.)

There was no consistency, no routine, no such thing as "normal" throughout my childhood.

But, at the time I didn't realize this.

It wasn't until later.

MUCH later.

That I figured out our life was a bit outside the norm, so to speak.

Where. To. Even. Begin.

Constantly living in two places. A home, a home base really, nestled in the affluent north shore of Chicago, and another home, a second home? Not really, because we didn't always go as a family. South America, Florida, Canada, all these lovely places were part of the landscape. So is that why I feel so restless when I'm in one place for too long???

Who knows.

Just trying to fit the f*cked up puzzle pieces of my life together so it all makes sense.

Does that make sense?

No.

yucky stuff

For a while now, I've been meaning to write a follow up from my original posting (almost one year ago!) on my lovely condition called, redundant colon.

And as I sit here now, trying to breathe deeply through the pains of yet another attack, I figure now's a good time to update.

Like most people who have this, there are good days and bad days. I have a hard time sticking to any sort of routine, so I bet if I was better about this, there'd probably be more good days than bad. This past Saturday Tom and I met a friend in town then went to lunch in the city. Since we were over our 5 mile radius from home, I was very careful about what to order. I had some pita bread and veggies and light hummus. Tom had this nasty looking stew that smelled like dog food and some special IPA beer. I sipped my plain iced tea and ate my pita and then Tom asked me to taste his beer. It was a restaurant special that was unfiltered and unpasteurized and it just didn't taste right. I had about 3 sips total, (just to confirm that I really didn't like it) and by the time we left the restaurant I could feel my stomach start to churn. By the time we pulled into the driveway, it had blown up like a balloon. I have no way of knowing if it was from the beer alone or if it was a combo of everything else and the beer just tipped the scale. We had plans that evening with friends and as I was getting ready for the night the sharp, stabbing pains in my ribs and belly began to get worse. I did not want to cancel but I knew it was going to be an uncomfortable night. My stomach was making these alien sounds and it looked like there was a nice sized cantaloupe under my shirt. I changed my clothes and drank some tummy tea and sat for a bit just breathing through the pain (like I'm doing now) and then my husband, who is usually very understanding when these things happen, was growing impatient and says to me, "Would you just go to the bathroom already!?!" I had some choice words for him.

What I'm finding out is that most people with redundant colon have days or even weeks of constipation. That is not typically what happens to me (except when I travel). My norm is that I have these blow up moments and severe pain and then it's like a ticking time bomb as to when the explosion is going to happen. So I can't just "go to the bathroom" on command, but once I start to feel those little spastic sensations I better get to a bathroom quick. It's kind of similar to a roller coaster ride. The car goes through lots of loops and twists and turns (that's where the pain comes in) and then it slows down and climbs uphill, up and up and up at a slow moving pace and then it finally reaches the top and then full speed ahead slams down the tracks with intense force and there's just no stopping it. You get the picture.

As I've mentioned in my previous post the Dr. prescribed Dicyclomine which has pretty much lost its effectiveness. There have been times when I'm out in a public place and the pill doesn't work so then I pop a Zantac, chase it with a Mylanta and then start chewing Tums like candy but at that point, I'm doomed.

I decided to share a list of food items that have triggered some major issues, usually within minutes of consumption. For those of you also suffering through this, maybe you noticed similar reactions to these foods:

-milk and cereal together (separate they are ok, dry cereal and juice is fine, milk alone is fine)

-cooked onions and garlic together in a dish, whether it's pasta, chicken, fish etc.

-warm, drawn butter

-wheat toast and coffee together

-hashbrowns

-soda and popcorn together (think movie theater, NOT GOOD!)

-any type of cream based soup

-any type of artificial or sugar free sweetener

-sushi with a mayonnaise based sauce

-chicken, egg or tuna salad sandwiches

-poultry, pork or meat with seasonings, like Lawry's or Peri Peri rub, anything with spices

It took me a while to put the milk and cereal combo together which looking back now, should have been a no brainer. One would think that it was a lactose/gluten intolerance since but I can have either of them separately without instantaneous issues, it's not the case. I was tested for Celiac back in the summer of 2009 and it came back negative, however, my doctor told me the results are only about 75-80% accurate and you're supposed to consume gobs of gluten for about a 2 week period prior to the blood test so who knows. There could be a bit of intolerance there but the only way to officially find out is to have an endoscopy which I decided was not something I needed to do at this point. Getting roto-rooted from one end is enough for now.

I've tried some different herbs and natural remedies for blow up days and one thing that I wanted to share was this tummy tea. It's specifically formulated for IBS pain, spasms and cramps (accidentally typed craps at first, which is also fitting!) and has brought some relief on the bad days.

So that's my update, thanks for reading and for fellow sufferers please know you are not alone.

another bizarre dream

Been having quite a few strange dreams lately - I wish I documented all of them but some are just too messed up to put into words. Anyway here's one that I did try to write out in as much detail as I can recall but describing it on paper doesn't do it justice. At least this way it gets out of my head so I'm not thinking about it too much...

My family and I were on a road trip. My Dad was driving, my mom was in the front, I was sitting in the back behind my Dad and my sister was next to me. At parts we were driving through reddish brown mountains, looked like maybe Wyoming and then in parts we were on flat highways. It was summer time, we had the windows down, a breeze kept blowing my hair in my face as I stuck my head out in the sun. I was eating sour candy (like lemon heads) and my hair kept sticking to my lips and cheeks because I had candy all over my face. My parents were acting silly and waving to cars with cute boys in them to embarrass me and my sister. There were a bunch of cyclists on the road and my Dad was going really fast, my mom kept saying, "slow down". They were bickering about his driving and then we hear sirens and my Dad is getting pulled over. We pull into this tube type of thing, almost like a tunnel but it was smooth all around like a cylinder. We weren't even touching the ground, the tires were suspended in air in this tube. The policeman comes to the window and talks to my Dad about sports. They talk about world series, MVP's from years past and their favorite teams. We're all relieved because it didn't look like he would get a ticket and then he tells all of us that we have to get out and push the car out of this tube all the way til the next exit instead of giving us a ticket. He said it's the law because my Dad was going too fast and pushing the car makes people realize they need to slow down and will never want to speed again. We all get out of the car but our feet couldn't touch the ground so we're holding onto the doors and the roof of the car and are pedaling our feet like we're riding a bicycle in mid air. My Dad said we need to paddle so we used our free hand to make swimming motions and then we started moving. When we get out of the tube it's pouring rain and we have 3miles to push the car and I tell them I'm too cold and get back inside the car. My family is still out there pushing and I yell at them saying that Dad should be doing this, he was the one speeding why should we do it! Then my sister hops in the car and after a little bit so does my mom and they are soaking wet, making the seats all wet like sponges and we try to use wet naps to soak up the water but they just break apart and leave white bits everywhere. The rain stops and the horn starts honking on its own which signals that my Dad can get back in the car and drive.

Now the sun is so bright and all at once there are so many cyclists on the road again. They are not off to the side, they are riding in the same lanes as the cars on the highway so cars have to swerve out of the lane to avoid them. My Dad swerved and then ended up in the grass where there was a farmer's/flea market set up and people were everywhere shopping and drinking out of big red cups. My Dad swerved again to avoid hitting the people and then there was a giant tractor type vehicle with HUGE tires just parked on the grass, my Dad swerved to avoid hitting the tractor and now we were spinning out, back on the highway and he screamed HOLD ON and and we kept spinning, avoiding a bunch of cars and to the left a school bus comes speeding towards us and we all scream OH NO OH NO OH NO and then the bus slams into our car. The car felt like it was floating on air and there was no sound of the engine, everything was quiet. We all look around at each other in disbelief because no one is hurt or bloody or scratched. My Mom and Dad turn back to me and my sister and say YOU'RE OK? WE'RE ALL OK?? And we all start saying how we can't believe we made it out of that and we saw the bus and felt the crash but yet we're totally fine.

Now I'm inside a big box style house with dark hardwood floors dark wood all over the windows and doorways. There are white flowy curtains on the windows and they are blowing in the house from the breeze. I walk down the stairs, the stairs are very cold, I'm bare foot and each step seems colder than the next, like a piercing pain of cold through my foot. I hear piano music and I follow it into a big room and there is my mom with her back to me playing the most beautiful piano song. I stand there are watch her, her back flowing and moving in motion with the key strokes. There's a filminess in the air, almost like looking through a vaseline covered lens and the room is so dark but as I get closer I start to see things more clearly. Her hands are very frail and boney and as she continues to play the side of her face, her jaw to her eye socket crashes down on the piano keys. It is just the bone, with half a set of teeth and she continues to play the piano with half of the skull laying across the keys. I realize her hands are just a skeleton and I run out of the room then out of the house screaming. I hear my Dad cutting the grass and it's so bright out my eyes can't adjust and I'm squinting trying to get to him. I keep screaming for him but the noise of the mower is so loud. He finally shuts off the mower I tell him what happened to Mom and he just stares at me. I scream GO INSIDE HELP HER! and he turns away from me and starts walking down the street like a zombie and soon he just disappears into thin air.

Happy Valentine's Day

You know your husband loves you when he comes home with chocolate and says, "This is for you, I promise I won't eat it. I'm putting it inside your period jar."

(yes I have a "period only" candy jar that I make sure is stocked during that blessed time of the month.)

Happy Valentine's day to all!