1:13 am

the house alarm goes off as I'm sound asleep. I've often thought about what I would do if it went off in the middle of the night and how I would instantly go into attack/survival mode: call 911, grab my mace in the nightstand, rush the animals out onto the deck, and then grab my cell phone (in case the phone lines were cut) and speed dial my next door neighbors, Frank and Jenny who are always home. Hell I'd probably even call Betty too just to make sure she's safe and on the look out.

But that didn't happen.

The alarm goes off, animals climb on top of me panting (Wrigs) and screeching (Chum) while I just lay frozen in bed, staring at the bedroom door like a deer in headlights.


Turns out all was ok, but I never got out of bed and I never went back to sleep.

Ninja warrior, I am not.

Going to be an interesting day...

Obsessed

I've seen the preview for this show, Obsessed and it brings back a lot of memories.

When I was in middle school thru jr. high I had OCD. Somehow, by some miracle, not drugs, I grew out of it. And when I watched this preview it's like it all comes back to me. I used to turn on and off light switches 20-40 times. Always had to be an even number. Same with opening and closing the screen door. I remember getting in trouble at school because I turned on and off the light switch in class and my teacher told me it costs 10 cents every time you open and close the circuit. I never forgot that. Maybe that's what helped me to stop because I felt bad that my parents were going to go for broke if I kept doing this at home. But the screen door was another story. My poor dog would be standing outside in the bitter cold, begging to come in and I would open and close the door just an inch or so 20+ times before I could finally fully open it and let her in.

There were other things that I did or things that really bothered me like certain fabrics on my wrists. I would go completely ape shit if the fabric on my wrist was tight and squeaked if I chewed on it. My poor babysitters. They never came back twice. I also did the counting repetition, like in the preview, but I always had to end on an even number. I would never end on number 3, cuz that's just weird. Ok I think I've said enough.

HMO and some kinda cheese

I was on the phone with my mom today and she was telling me about this preview she saw for a show she thought I should watch. She told me the date it will be on and said, "Make sure you record if it you're not home. It'll be on HMO".

I just replied, "Mom we don't get HBO."

Then later in the conversation she was referring to a situation and meant to use the expression, What am I? Chopped Liver? But of course, she was just a bit off on that one too and said, "What am I? Green cheese??" I said, "MOM! That makes no sense. It's not green cheese..." but before I could finish she said, "I didn't say GREEN cheese. I said CREAM cheese!"

It's like she has her very own language, all to herself.

Remember Me

Just watched Remember Me. It's pretty good.

Wrigely's butt

Wrigley sleeps between us at night. It's not very comfortable because Tom and I have to contort our bodies since Wrigs typically stretches to a diagonal position by our legs and feet. The past few nights he's been sleeping closer to our heads, but he lays butt first and positions it right in my face. Last night I tried to move him over towards Tom but Wrigs would not budge. Tom wakes up as I'm grunting, trying with all my might trying to move the dog. He says, "What are you doing?" I tell him I'm trying to move Wrigley. He asks, "Where?" I tell him, "Towards you." He says, "Don't you dare aim that blow out valve in my direction!"

Bottom line:
We need a bigger bed.

First day of summer!

started like this:


around noon time broke to this:



then a couple hours later went back to this:



It has been 271 days since we've hit 75 degrees. For some I know that sounds like a dream but for those of us who have spent the last 9 months living in what feels like a never ending January of wetness and darkness, it's really not so fun.

A friend sent me this link today and said this pretty much sums up summer in Seattle. Everyone is so ready to pop at this point. At least I'm not alone.

surviving vs. thriving

that's what it's like.

so
much
energy put into merely
surviving where
thriving used to come naturally.

Do you ever wonder why people don't retire
here and instead go
there? Yeah, me neither.

It's a different ball of wax here folks.

Time to make more t-shirts.

June 20th, 9am

Temps in the 50's, spitting rain, harassed by a homeless person on my way to a 5k with Wrigley this morning. I ended up turning around and coming home.

HAPPY F@CKING SUMMER!!!

Great Hair Day = Bad Hair Day

A while back I ordered this product because I was losing my hair. Well I tried it on my receding parts and it looked AWFUL. When Tom saw it for the first time he asked me if I just cleaned the chimney so I decided to chuck it under my sink because, as you know, I never return anything.

So about a week ago I ran out of one of my eye shadows which was just a neutral brown color and I thought why not give this hair stuff a try? So I did. And lately my eye lashes have been growing like mad.


I realize now this stuff is made with propecia which is supposed to prevent hair loss and from what it looks like apparently promotes hair growth? So this probably isn't a good thing to place directly next to my eye ball so needless to say no more great hair day for me. And I've been googling side effects for propecia and can't find anything about affecting vision but I'm guessing that's because most people probably don't stick the pill in their eye before swallowing it.

But wait, you could probably use this on eyebrows and not go blind? Ok I will try that next. And for whatever reason this product smells really delicious.

strange but true

So last night I had this really messed up dream about a guy I dated off and on back in college for about a year. It was pretty violent and disturbing so this morning I felt the need to check online and see if he is still alive and well. I tried to look him up on facebook (not to friend him just to see if he was there) and nothing. Then I checked google (yes, married women can still google exes, there is no law against this! yet) and I found a police report that cited he was recently arrested for stealing a bottle of Listerine. He put the bottle down his pants and tried to walk out of a Wal-mart.

I dated some winners.

how I wake up every morning

we've gone through quite a few alarm clocks over the years.

and another...

I've made no less than 30 shirts today. It's my new obsession. Almost missed a 1:00 meeting because I was online so engrossed in t-shirt making software. T-shirt making is highly addictive.

Another outlet...

t-shirt design.

I was a mean little sister.

I'm having the seniors put together a book about their life, something they can pass along to their children, grandchildren, great grandchildren. They're writing about significant moments, people, and memories that have shaped who they are today. This is something we can all start doing now, why wait til our golden years? I'm doing my own book and will share a brief chapter on terrorizing my sister.

I have a sister named Beth who is 7 years older than me - that's a big difference when you're growing up. While I was cutting the hair off my Barbies, she'd come home hammered from a night out with friends and pass out in her bed. My parents would get so upset and my mom would purposely vacuum her room at 7:00 the next morning, slamming the vacuum into her bed while Beth's trying her best not to hurl. Her punishment would be to stay in her room, no TV, no phone and I'd shove graham crackers or saltines under her door, anything that was flat enough to fit because she needed to eat. I can totally remember sliding a graham cracker half way under and then it would disappear in a flash as she swiped it from the other side. Then I'd hear munching and she'd say in a meek voice, "more." I used to torment my sister, not sure why, she was really good to me. She was scared to death of bugs (and of course, still is) and some mornings while she was asleep (hungover) I'd crawl in her room and leave a trail of fake ants across her bedroom floor, marching them into a giant glob under her bed straight down from her pillow. I would even put some food in the middle (like a cracker crumb) to make it look they were falling all over each other trying to feast and then I'd sneak into her room and scream, "OH MY GOD!" and point at the trail. She'd shoot out of bed like the house was on fire and she'd swear at the top of her lungs, "HOLY F*CKING SH*T LAURA!! WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT???" I'd burst out laughing then she'd fall back into bed trying to get her breathing under control while telling me I have serious problems. Sometimes I would do this with cockroaches and spiders too. We had a lot of fake bugs around the house, thanks to my Dad. Another time when she was laying out in our front yard (because our back yard was too shaded we were not exhibitionists) I snuck out of the house in my Dad's trench coat, big rubber boots and wore panty hose over my face so it was all distorted and then put on a big black hat with black leather man gloves. She was laying on the lawn chair, eyes closed, listening to music when I suddenly appeared over her with a growl approaching her neck like I was going to strangle her. She let out a blood curdling scream and just froze in place - didn't even try to run away. I fell to the ground in fits of laughter while she tried to catch her breath, again cursing my name and telling me I need to get serious help. That would make me laugh even harder. One of my favorite times though was when she was out way past curfew and my parents were asleep and didn't know. I turned her tv on in the bedroom so there was dim flickering light and put one of my Dad's big outdoor gloves on a bended hanger sticking out of her closet door and then I went to my room and waited. A bit later, I heard her quietly tip toeing up the stairs (we had a couple squeaky steps so you had to go very slow and know just where to put your feet) and then two seconds later, I hear the scream. I hid under my covers laughing and then felt bad because my Dad woke up thinking someone broke in the house and when he realized what happened, my sister got punished for coming home late. I felt bad about that but made it up to her by shoving crackers under the door the next morning.

I'm lucky she still talks to me.


(My Dad looks like a giant in this photo. I think our furniture was just really small. And I'm not so sure about the fit of his pants. Gotta love the 70's!)

update on Rose

I haven't talked much about the situation at the senior center with "Rose" the woman who has been homeless for almost a year. Reason being, I'm frustrated, mostly with myself because there is nothing I can do (short of moving her into our home.) When I first met with Rose and we talked one on one she seemed comfortable and mentally stable. She shared a lot with me and it started to feel like a therapist/patient relationship which was a bit concerning because a lot of the things she would tell me, I had no idea how to handle. I had done some research on shelters and church based organizations for the homeless, all of which she claimed had already "been there, done that" and would never return. I didn't know what else to do, some of the people at the center advised it would be best to pull back a little because they felt that Rose would get too attached and subsequently upset because I was not offering up my home as an option. So that's what I did and have been doing. And it feels pretty shitty.

The woman who I work for has been keeping me informed on any progress made with the social workers and psychologist and it turns out Rose was diagnosed with Asperger's. The thing about this is that she qualifies for government aid and can live in a state run facility but again she won't go. And now she's been asking a few people if they would let her stay in their homes and when they gently refuse she gets really angry and has had some major meltdowns. After class I used to mill around and visit with people or sit and have lunch but lately I've been nervous because if I see Rose I just don't know what to say anymore. I'm avoiding the situation because I'm afraid she's going to ask to come home with me. I can't blame her for asking people to take her in - homeless shelters and institutions are typically not ideal places to live, but those are the options available to her at this time and if she does not want them then that is her decision and there's not much more to do.

So why do I still feel like a horse's ass?

I always feel like...

somebody's watching meeeee!

Wrigs at the vet

This is the moment he realized, "Oh crap, it's this place!"

Poor guy. He had a pretty traumatic experience today. Struggled and fussed as 4 technicians and the doc tried to hold him down for xrays. It just wasn't going to happen. They got 2 somewhat readable ones, but I'll need to bring him back again sometime soon for the rest. The good news is his hips look good so that is a relief. Doesn't mean we can rule out hip dysplasia forever but at least there aren't any tell tale signs at this age. When I picked him up to bring him home he came barreling out of the exam room door almost knocking me over with licks to the face and high pitched cries. Then he made a bee line for the main door and kept pulling me while I tried to pay the bill. He wanted out of there. He's been sleeping a lot and actually now as I type this he is having another nightmare. He's squealing and twitching. Not sure if I should wake him up or let him sleep through it. Oh I can't stand it- he's breathing really heavy now. I'm going to wake him up.

Prayers for my sister

She's been in surgery since 8 this morning. Procedure was supposed to take 2 hours and it's now been 3.5 and still no update. My mom and brother in law are together waiting at the hospital and I'm sitting by the phone feeling an ulcer develop as I type.

Positive thoughts, vibes, prayers, whatever you can offer are appreciated.

Thank you.

golf, golf everywhere

Tom was using my lap top and I saw this strange message on the screen when he gave it back to me:

My first thought was "What the hell is a super deep?" It sounds very naughty. And then I see the "Tp tri" and I'm thinking maybe he's looking for super strength toilet paper? Which in this house, would make sense. But then at the bottom of the question I see it's about a DRIVER.

I'm glad that he has golf as an outlet because he needs it. And he doesn't care if it's pouring rain, sleet or snow, he will be out there no matter what. I asked him the other day, "What would you do if the courses were closed when it rains?" And he said without hesitation, "Move."

He was kidding. I think.

yet another golf show

"Someone" in this house is a bit too excited about this new show on the golf channel. He really seems to like the bikini shot interviews. I tell him we can NOT add another golf channel show to our television line up.

His response?

"Well I'll just watch it upstairs, alone...in bed."