can't keep track anymore

I was in the middle of downloading pics and happy thoughts from my day yesterday when smash. Another bird. This one hit the upstairs window so very hard. He didn't make it. His poor neck. It's just sort of hanging. Sweet little baby. I know he didn't suffer but I just can't stop crying right now. He looked so mangled. He flew right into the damn decal so I'm not thinking these things work very well. I want out of this f*cking house.

I wrapped him in newspaper and he looked a little more at peace and then said a little prayer. My head hurts.

Happy Birthday Tom!

Even though you uproot us every few years, I still love you very, very much! (How's that for a passive-aggressive birthday greeting?)

But seriously there isn't anyone else on this planet I would want to travel through time with.

So have a Happy Birthday BIG BAD BUG!!!

Love,
your wifey

Chumley bit my eyebrow

About once a month I do full body checks on the animals, feeling for lumps, bumps, nodules, corn cobs, etc. Of course Wrigs splays out like a flying squirrel and lets me go to town, enjoying what he thinks is a full body massage. Chum? Well that's another story. I'm thinking I need to wear one of these from now on, or maybe I should just skip his massage entirely. I'm thinking that's not such a bad idea.

Chum's still pretty pissed off right now. He's huffing and puffing and knocking things off the counter and then hitting my computer. Is there such a thing as kitty roid rage??

He's also becoming more aggressive around food. He even tries to eat Wrigley's food out of his bowl while Wrigs eats! Wrigs isn't a fan of anyone milling around his food so he eats really fast and then starts to cough and make this horrible choking sound. He coughed up a few kernels and Chum ate them off the ground.


And we all know how he hates to share water...


I hate to say it, but I'm starting to think I have a high maintenance cat.

Dilemma

There is a spider on the stem of my wine glass.

What does Obama do?

My girlfriend from Portland calls tonight and tells me that she and her almost 4 year old son, Ely, watched the inauguration today.

She asked him, "Do you know what President Obama is going to do?"

his reply, "He's going to fix the news."

This kid is brilliant.

The Procrastinator's Calendar

I just got this Procrastinator's Day Planner at a little shop in town.

You can order one here but right now, they are out of stock.

Sort of makes sense though, doesn't it?

studying???

I'm sitting at a coffee shop next to 2 giggly college students, each with their lap tops open to facebook, as they post messages, view pics and instant message. One of the girls gets a phone call and after saying hello she says, "We're just studying." I'm guessing it was her mother.

Guaranteed I wouldn't have made it through my freshman year of college if blogging, texting and web camming were around back then. Or maybe I would have started a movement to make them a combined major. A degree in Social Networking? I probably would have been crowned Valedictorian. Do they even wear crowns? Or no that's prom queen. But Valedictorians must have something special on their caps that separate them from the slack asses. I'll check google.

Like I said, it's a good thing this wasn't around back in the day.

drunk on Vitamin D

I just had to capture the animals basking in their vitamin D. They are not moving from their sunny spots and they are staring right into the sun, just like their momma!

Chumley keeps opening and closing his eyes, just drinking it all in. It looks like he's meditating. I can't handle how cute he is right now. I am going to have to take more pictures.





(Sorry for the fuzzy pics. I used my new cell phone camera. Obviously not the best quality but better than my last phone.)

DMV job requirement- must have sh*t for brains

Over a month ago, we received a notice in the mail (forwarded from our old address in CA) to renew my vehicle registration. I returned the notice along with a letter stating that we moved out of state and now the car is registered in Washington. So then a couple of weeks go by, and I get another notice (again forwarded from our old address), stating if I didn't provide proof of registration by the end of the month I would be facing legal action. So I called the DMV office and when I finally got through to the cheerful, customer service oriented DMV employee (yes, sarcasm) I explained that I had been relocated out of California and now live in the state of Washington and had sent a letter weeks ago informing the DMV of this move. She spouted off a list of more asinine steps that needed to be completed, so I asked her, "What's going to happen to me if I don't do these things?" She told me in her ever sweet demeanor that my car would be impounded. I told her that I'll take my chances. Then she barked, "It is AGAINST THE LAW to not have registration in the state of CA." I asked her what part of moving out of state does she and the DMV not understand!?!? I felt like I was talking to a styrofoam peanut so I hung up and a day or so later sent all the crap they wanted: proof of registration as well as insurance, along with our contact information and address and what did I just get in the mail???

ANOTHER vehicle registration notice from the state of California!!!

The best part about this is that the notice is addressed to our house here in Seattle. You'd think that would have tipped off SOMEONE over there, since the last time I checked, it is not mandatory to register your vehicle in the state of California if you live in the state of Washington.

Instead of going back and forth on this issue again, I think I'll just mail back a fecal sample and see what happens.

Why I haven't blogged this weekend

2 reasons:

Karen!!!

(and)

SUN! SUN! SUN! BLUE SKIES ARE HERE AGAIN!

I couldn't have asked for a better combination.

Laughter, conversation, West Seattle house debacle, sushi, SUN!!!, walks, sitting in my garage, wine, more laughter, conversation, sharing our pasts, tears, more wine, Chumley bite (I'm soooooooo sorry Karen, and if you need to go to a doctor I INSIST on covering it), bundled in blankets, extreme chill in my house, Wrig's love, conversation, MORE SUN!!!, delicious coffee and breakfast, sitting in my driveway, (yes my neighbors think we're completely insane) walks, open house, conversation, BRIGHT SUN!! BLUE SKY!!!, saying goodbye. 

Perfect weekend.

My senses are alive and my soul feels nourished.

Thank you dear friend for bringing the sunshine back into my life. 

We love and miss you. 

(Well maybe not Chum and again, I am soooooo sorry and embarrassed about that.)

Wrigley & Chumley & a bowl of water

Wrigley and Chumley REALLY love water:

Let it be known that both of these beasts have their own separate water bowls filled to the brim downstairs. But from the looks of it, you'd think they hadn't had a sip in 3 days:

Thanks to Chumley's water obsession, we have an over abundance of these:

(those are Chumley's pee clumps. 2 days worth.) 

Wrigs says "Ewwww"

...but then decides to lay next to the smelly sack of clumps doing his best amputee impersonation...

Now he says, "Enough with the pictures. Get rid of this stuff!"

one reason I love my new phone...

Because it has a "poo" icon in the clip art file.

Here is a pic I took of Tom earlier today, multi-tasking:

Can you see the poo??? I added it into the photo.

If you look really close there are flies swirling above it. It's hard to see in this picture but it's pretty clear on my phone.

So what if my phone can't hold a charge.

At least there is poo.

(I just looked at this again and realized Tom has a watermelon shaped head that tends to veer left in this photo. It must have been the angle because his head doesn't slope to the left and if you ask me, it's more of a butternut squash shape. Just wanted to clear that up so as not to offend him.)

care to dance?

The music of Guster is happy and hokey and makes your toes start tapping. Just had to put some on to get me outta this funk. It's helping. (btw, the video above was made by a high school English class. Pretty good isn't it?)

And here's a little funny clip for this frigid January night.


Happy Friday!

I smell something

I'm sitting here at the kitchen counter procrastinating the worst possible task of all times: TAX DOCUMENT PREPARATION. For an Independent Contractor, it's a royal pain in the ass and something I dread every year. Anyway, as I sit I start to smell a little poop. I check Chum's litter and it's just the usual monster sized pee clumps so I grab for the animals. After a full bottom search on both Wrigs and Chum (that was fun) still not even a dingle or berry to be found.

I sit back down on the stool (with one foot tucked under my butt) and again I smell the poop. It's driving me mad so I look at my shoes and there is a trace of what I thought was mud from our walk earlier today. Well mud it is not. I've tracked dog crap all through the house as well as smeared it all over my own ass.

This whole time I was the smelly one and it wasn't even my own poop.

Gross.

The sunshine vitamin study

Karen emailed this article to me today: Vitamin D: Lifesaving Supplement

I'm cutting and pasting on here with my personal notes included (in red:)

"Low vitamin D levels have been associated with osteoporosis, diabetes, hypertension, and cancer. (as well as spousal abuse, uncontrollable cursing,  foot stomping and spoon throwing) And it gets worse: According to new research, adults who don't get enough of the "sunshine vitamin" are 26 percent more likely to die early. (from suicide attempts???) A 12-year study of 13,000 men and women didn't finger any one cause of death, "because vitamin D's impact on health is so widespread," (particularly in the Seattle metropolitan area) says researcher Michal Melamed, MD, an assistant professor of medicine at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in the Bronx. (you really need a medical degree from Einstein college to tell me this?) Besides drinking fortified milk, she suggests that you: (drink Vodka for breakfast everyday)

Get a little sun. (Here is problem number 1.) ( Just 10 to 15 minutes of midday sunshine (11 a.m. to 3 p.m.) several days a week may do the trick (and how does one suggest we do that here?!) (apply sunscreen after those few minutes). (I'm sorry, sunscreen?? What is that?)

Take supplements. (Or drink more vodka for lunch) Winter rays in northern climates (above a line approximately between the northern border of California and Boston) may be too weak to provide benefits. (No way! I don't believe it) Supplements can help. (again more Vodka) A review of 18 studies showed that those who took vitamin D supplements lived longer than those who took a placebo. (side note: All 18 studies were conducted in San Diego, CA) For adults, 800 IU daily is considered safe. (Liar. I've been taking it everyday and I still want to bang my head into a wall. Next.) The American Academy of Pediatrics recently doubled the amount it recommends for infants, children, and adolescents, to 400 IU. Look for products labeled D3 for greatest potency and absorption." (or buy yourself a big tub of glue and sniff that instead.)

I'm going bat Sh*t crazy in this sunless wonder.

my new toy

***Update: Stupid cell phone will not hold a charge. Rebecca in Chicago if you're reading this: keep your trap shut!!!!***

I got a new cell phone today. Those of you who know me, know that I've had issues with every single cell phone ever purchased. Half of them end up thrown across a room and the other half, I end up keeping until wires have sprung out the sides and smoke signals appear while texting.

My last cell phone was this cute little white Samsung tic tac looking thing. I can't find any pics because they don't make them anymore but what I loved about this phone was that it fit into every single pocket of clothing I own. The downside? It sucked as a phone. There was always a delay while speaking and sometimes I'd hear an echo which was extremely annoying so I basically stopped using it as a phone. Last month I only used 44 of my 1500 anytime minutes and unfortunately T-mobile doesn't offer roll overs. If they did I would probably have a total of 443,672,988 minutes to spare over the last few years.

I'm not very practical when it comes to picking out cell phones. There are only 3 requirements that must be met:

1) Must fit in my jeans pocket.
2) Must have a keypad, no touch screens.
&
3) Must come in a cute color.

So today, while shopping at Costco for a rice cooker, I found my new phone:


It's the Samsung Gravity which came out in November and while it's double the size of my old phone, it can still fit snuggly into my pocket PLUS it has a full size keyboard which is perfect for texting. I text a lot more than I talk. Bonus.

So if you're on the market for a new phone and are curious about this one check out this guy's video demonstration on the Gravity. But I'm warning you now, try not to fall in love with the guy. He seems like quite the lady's man.

I like how he sounds all robot like (at :36) when he says really fast, "It feels-really nice--to text on." And I think he color coordinated his sweater to match the aqua accents in the phone. I'm telling you...this guy is a rock star!!!

Ok I'm going to finish watching the video demo (if I can handle the hotness!!) and learn about my new phone.

Oh My God

My thoughts and prayer go out to everyone affected by this crash. I hope people can get out safely.

The news just said the pilot may have hit a flock of geese and that may have caused the accident???

YAY!!! They just said all the passengers have made it out of the plane safely. Could you even imagine if you had a loved one on that flight??? They must be so happy to know everyone is ok.

Thank God.

Sweet Chum

Chumley lays in weird places...


Like the top of my shins:


It can't be comfortable for him and it's really not too pleasant for me:


Especially when both animals demand to be pet and will squirm or meow once I stop:


But I'll put up with a little discomfort.

These sweet cat moments are few and far between.

You've got to be F***ING KIDDING ME!!

update:

So the bird hit the window and landed on the side of the deck and then fell down below the deck into a pile of leaves. I grabbed a box, towel and of course my black leather mittens, (aka bird rescue gloves) and hiked down the hill, literally scaling the side of the house because it is that steep. I slipped a couple times in the mud, but did not fall, but I'm thinking that is why my back is killing me. Anyway, I get down to the pile of leaves where I saw the bird land off the deck but he was no where to be found. Could he have flown away in the time it took me to gather the bird gear?? Or could a hawk or crow have swooped in and gobbled him up??? I searched and searched and searched through an endless pile of leaves, carefully sliding the leaves away with my foot so I wouldn't accidentally step on the bird but I never did find him. I was even making chirping sounds in hopes that he would answer. I came back inside thoroughly depressed and then surprisingly, my afternoon took a turn for the better. I'll update in a bit. My back is seizing up and it's shooting through my shoulder blades. I'm going to hook up to the tens machine for a little relief...

----------

ANOTHER BIRD JUST SMASHED INTO THE WINDOW.

FLEW RIGHT INTO THE DAMN ULTRA VIOLET CLING.

I'M LOSING MY FLIPPING MIND PEOPLE!!!

Yet another momism

(as we were on the phone discussing Tom's upcoming birthday)

MOM
"Does Tom need rubbers?"

ME
"WHAT!?!?!" (*enter horrifically, disturbing visual, forever ingrained in my skull*)

MOM
"They go over his shoes, so they don't get wet."

ME
"Oh those." (*breathing again) "No. He doesn't need any. But Wrigley does."

This dog is a sopping mess after our walks.

Wrigs is now on a diet so he only gets healthy snacks like fresh fruit and veggies. Here he is today trying a little slice of cucumber for the first time. And then of course Chumley has to make an appearance as always...