taking a break

be back soon...

Bear Necessities

Everyday it's a constant battle between Chumley and Wrigley with Chumley's bear being the object of their affection. Wrigley knows that Chumley's bear is the one thing that is off limits but several times in the day he will snatch it away from Chum (even if he's in the middle of a love session) and run around the house with it. Today Chum and the bear were upstairs in the guest room sharing a moment of intimacy when Wrigley came barreling in, grabbed the bear by the leg and took off like a mad man. Then he tries to hide the bear under his chest when I question him about it and as I try to take it away from him he'll force all his weight on top of it. Such a little deviant.

Note the look of worry on his face as I approach...

the attack of the killer grasshopper

Do you ever get that feeling that someone's watching you? You can just sense there's eyes on you? That's how I felt yesterday while I was working on the computer. I turned around and behold, here was my lurker...



For whatever reason our house seems to attract freakishly large insects of all kinds. Even though there was a window between us I was still about ready to crap my pants over the sheer size of this guy. But I had to take video because he was gyrating and making all sorts of odd movements. It was creepy yet intriguing...



And here's where I crapped my pants...

answer me this...

Thanks to the internet something that has literally been bugging me for decades has now been answered. Why the hell is the word "colonel" pronounced "kernel"??? Everytime I see the word colonel it makes me angry. I can't explain it, I seriously get flustered and if the word colonel was a tangible thing I could hold in my hand I would punch it.

So I found this answer on a website called Straight Dope from Cecil's storehouse of human knowledge.

A person writes:

Dear Cecil:

Why is "colonel" pronounced "kernel"? --Listener, Ed Busch talk show, Dallas

Cecil replies:

"Mainly to continue the tradition of making English as incomprehensible as possible, thereby keeping the spelling bee industry in business. (Believe me, there's millions in it.) Colonel comes from Old Italian colonello, commander of a column of troops, which in turn derives from colonna, column. It wasn't always spelled the Italian way, though. Four hundred years ago English followed the Spanish practice and spelled the word "coronel," sensibly pronounced the way it looked. Eventually this was corrupted to ker-nel, still not bad considering we're talking about the British, who pronounce "Featheringstonehaugh" "Fanshaw."

But it couldn't last. Some nameless busybody decided coronel ought to be spelled "colonel" to better reflect its Italian origin, doubtless out of the same misplaced love of precision that gave us 16-1/2 feet to the rod and 27 and 11/32 grains to the dram. It's just the Anglo-Saxon way, I guess. How these people conquered an empire I'll never know."

--CECIL ADAMS

Thanks Cecil! I can finally sleep peacefully tonight.

Welcome to Lowe's...

...our second home.

It's not like we've lived here 5 years

Tom just calls, he's on his way home from work. It's really dark (with the time change and all) and he got off the freeway a few exits early due to traffic. He asks:

Tom
If I turn on Toledo will that get me home?

Me
I think so but I'm not sure.

Tom
Screw it. I just passed it. What about Trabuco?

Me
Ummmm.....

Tom
Well??

Me
I'm thinking! Actually I think Trabuco dead ends. Try and find Jeronimo.

Tom
Sh!t. I already passed that.

Me
How long have you lived here??

Tom
Goodbye.

(he just got home)

Going Postal

I went to the post office today which I realized was closed due to Veteran's Day (YAY VETS!) but portions of the office are open for p.o. boxes and access to the automated postal stations. I waited behind a guy who was having some difficulty with the machine and was mumbling and cursing under his breath. I started to get creeped out because it was only him and I in the dreary place and the parking lot surrounding the post office was freshly tarred so there were no cars or people in sight. For some reason the movie The Accused flashed into my head so I grabbed my cell phone out of my purse and had my finger on the 2 button in case I needed to speed dial Tom. Creepy guy finished up his transaction, got his automated stamp and grumpily went on his way. I had a small package I needed to mail to my Grandmother in Sarasota, FL so I weighed the package, breezed through the prompts and thought "This is so simple, that guy must have been an idiot!" I paid for my stamp and as it shoots out from the little slot below it reads, Cypress, FL. I say OUT LOUD..."WHAT THE F**K? This isn't going to Cypress!" There's absolutely nothing I can do, the $7.50 has already been charged to my debit card and my transaction is complete. I check the zip code and it reads 32423 (apparently Cypress) instead of 34243 which is for Sarasota. And I have no one to blame but myself. No wonder that man was so grumpy. So I started the process over and after spending $15 my Grandmother's package was in the mail.

Anyone need to mail anything to Cypress???

Almost a Fugitive

I frequent one of those gas stations that's got a cute little cafe and gift shop attached. You could practically do all of your Christmas shopping in there with the assortment of goodies they have inside. So after I got my gas and paid with my debit card outside I popped in for a small cup of coffee, needing a little refueling myself. It was so shnazzy with all sorts of sparkling jewels, handbags, and even a pretty decent assortment of wines. The coffee station is self serve so I grabbed my cup and filled it up then browsed through the aisles for a few minutes. The cashier lady kept looking at me and I thought to myself, "Does she think I'm going to steal something?" It was kind of annoying so I said to myself "Forget this" and headed out the door.

On my way home I stopped at Staples for some office supplies and as I opened my wallet in the check out line I realized HOLY SH!T I didn't pay for my coffee!!! I told the sales guy what happened and he laughed and said that I had better go back (which of course I was going to do anyway) because they have it all on camera and can get my license plate number too! So I high tailed it back to the station and rushed in apologizing to the cashier lady. She was very understanding about it all and said, "I kept looking at you, wondering when you're gonna pay for your coffee!" So I gave her $2 and left feeling a little better knowing that I wasn't going to be hauled away in hand cuffs. But the thing is, I know for a fact that I've done this before (possibly several times) at other self serving coffee stations. Usually I'm with Tom and he'll say as I'm walking out with the cup in hand, "Did you pay for that?" and I do an about face and head back inside.

just curious...

Is it possible to clean yourself with Wet naps? I know they work wonders at removing sticky rib sauce on your hands so I would imagine they could also be used on the rest of the body in place of a shower?? I wonder if they make them in jumbo size.

a sneak attack

(in order to make sense of all this nonsense start with the "day 16 of bathroom remodel" post and work your way up.)

Sweet pea is back to making all sorts of noise and banging around in there so I had to sneak in and capture a photo of the action. Here's what I like to call the "leave me the $*@! alone" shot...


And here's my faithful companion making sure I'm still in one piece as I enter the bathroom of mass destruction...


Wrigs always protects his mommy.

I'm no psychic but I see a plumber in our future...

Funny how someone suddenly puts on a "Mr. Sweet face" when someone needs someone else to hold the flashlight outside in the cold so someone can lift the cement water grate on the sidewalk and try and figure out why the heck the water is not coming back on!

help. us. please.

OMG

I kid you not, right now Tom is using a blow torch on the pipes in the bathroom. He got back from Lowe's and was hacking away in the bathroom making sooooo much noise then all of the sudden I smell these noxious fumes. I got up to check on him and he's aiming the flaming torch at the pipes and of course he's not wearing any sort of protective gear on his hands or face. It does not look safe and I'm scared that the house (or my husband) will be ablaze in no time. I told him I was nervous about this and he asked me to please leave and take the dog with me (Wrigs was standing in the doorway barking nervously at the flame thrower-can you blame him?) I told Tom I just wanted to help and to make sure he was being safe and he did not seem happy with my concern for his well being. I told him I don't need a door to hit me in the ass to know when I'm not wanted so Wrigs and I turned and walked away. I guess now's not the time to ask if I can take a photo.

So Wrigs and I are back on the computer, sad and thirsty, praying that the house and husband remain intact.

Day 16 of bathroom remodel

Tom's still going strong in the bathroom but tonight he's encountered a snag. Well not really a snag because that implies it was a situation out of his control. This was not. Wrigley surveys the situation.


Can you see what the problem is?


How about I get a little closer?


How about now?


That would be a hole in one of the sink pipes. Apparently during the dry wall removal process Tom accidentally drilled into the water pipe. So now he's back at Lowe's purchasing whatever repair kit is needed to fix this problem. I'm assuming it involves duct tape?? So I can't use the water until it's fixed. And you know something? When you're told not to turn on the water, you REALLY get the urge to use it. It's amazing how much we take a simple thing like running water for granted. I headed into the kitchen to boil some water for noodles and then remembered, nope can't turn on the faucet. So I peeked into the fridge to see what else there is to eat. I found a bag of fresh snow peas so I tossed those into a colander and headed to the sink to rinse them when, AGAIN, I realized...still can't use the water. So now I'm back at my computer frustrated, hoping that Tom will have this problem fixed soon. And trust me, I know in the big scheme of things, this is sooo ridiculously insignificant to even bitch about but I'd just like a nice cup of hot tea before midnight.

Does this mean we can't flush the toilet??? Oh dear God, help us.

Must Watch This!

I think this is the most adorable dog and cat video I've ever seen. Watch it all the way til the very end.

belated Halloween pics...

I got some photos last night from my bro-in-law from a Halloween party a couple weeks ago. So...here they are!

Our fearless hosts preparing to "Dine in Hell"...


My sister the princess and ready for battle brother in law...



Tom (wearing his necklace of fingers) and I chatting it up with a grecian goddess...



The whole gang after a few too many adult beverages...



3 weary warriors relaxing at the end of the night...

Words of Wisdom

When re-using plastic grocery bags to pick up dog droppings in the yard, it is best to check for holes in bag before grabbing aimlessly at the steaming mounds. Also probably a good idea to keep your fingernails short.

I'm trying to train Wrigley to do this...



(sorry for back to back poo posts but it's just been one of those weekends)

right now

Chumley had an explosion outside of his litter box (I spared all of you a photo) and Wrigley now has litter all over his lips. Why? Why? Why must these animals be so gross?

The Cookie Monsters

As much as they make me crazy, I love my house full of animals.

hello?

Tonight I got a call from a man taking a survey for Northwest Canadian Travel. He asked if I would participate, it would only take a few minutes. Usually I have a field day with these guys so I said sure. I started out pretending to be really dumb, like he asked me if I had ever been to the Northwest territory and I said northwest of what??? He said this was specific to the Northwest territory of Canada and then asked to speak to anyone in the household who has traveled away from home for more than 5 nights this past year. I told him that I have in fact traveled but I refuse to fly, all my travel is by car or canoe. He then says can you tell me the most recent trip you took where you stayed more than 5 nights? I said Greece. He asked, did you row there?? He was quick I'll give him that. I told him that I forgot about that trip, and yes, I did fly there. He said how long ago was this trip? I said less than 2 months ago. He said, Ok let me flip through some of these pages. I'm assuming he skipped a few questions. So then he asks me all sorts of questions about what I like and dislike about travel and vacations and it's moving along pretty well and the guy is soo nice that I'm now trying to redeem myself and answer honestly. Tom pops into the room from time to time and hears me blurting out, "AGREE! DISAGREE! AGREE! AGREE! DISAGREE!" and makes a "what the f*ck" sort of face and I just smile and happily answer all the questions.

He starts wrapping up the survey and asks me if I read the newspaper daily. I tell him no. He asks why and starts listing all these reasons and I tell him none of those, I just don't like getting ink all over my hands. He says well that's not one of the choices so can you give me another reason? I tell him because it kills too many trees. He said how about you get your news from another source? I say ok. He says what source, television, radio, internet? I say, the internet. He says how often do you search news stories on on the internet? I ask is this just specific to news or do you mean browsing the internet for other things? He says, such as? I say never mind.

Then he asks me if I am over or under the age of 45 and I say are you serious??? He said, I just had to ask but I'm guessing no. It was pretty funny.

He says thank you and asks if I can be included on future surveys and I tell him I would prefer not. We say our goodbyes and then Tom asks me what the hell was that?

Not even two minutes later the guy calls back and says he was unclear on one of my answers and could I explain. It was about advertisements for travel that I've seen in the past year. I told him the only ads I've seen for travel have been for Israel and San Diego. Israel looks pretty cool. I'd like to go there...by boat.