Grab-n-Bag Power Vac

Tom got this Shark Grab-n-Bag Powered Pooper Scooper for a few friends that have dogs and thought that we should have one too. Do the words Grab-n-Bag used together make you think of something else? Anyway, Tom is is OBSESSED with buying any type of power vac. It's seriously an addiction. That, and sponges. He can't even walk down the sponge aisle anymore at Target because he will go on a sponge buying frenzy and stash sponges in every cabinet of the house and garage. So anyway, tonight he puts the pooper scooper vac together and heads outside to "test" it on one of Wrig's piles. I'm sitting in the house knitting by the tree, listening to carols with a nice glass of wine when he comes barreling back inside holding the filled scooper SHOWING ME how well it picked up the poo! Was that REALLY necessary couldn't he have just TOLD me about it??? I guess I should be grateful that little things like this still manage to get him so excited but seriously, he could have keep that shit outside.

Christmas memories....

-snow days
-school plays
-trekking off to the woods of Wisconsin to chop down our tree
-late nights watching Christmas movies
-bringing up the xmas boxes from the basement
-the scary Elf ornaments with demonic expressions on their hard plastic faces
-closing the drapes in the living room to block out the sunlight while we put lights on the tree
-the Honeymooner's xmas special
-and of course Rudolph!!!
-shopping on Michigan Ave. with my best friend, having lunch at a fancy decorated hotel
-my old record player playing scratched up Bing and Anne Murray albums
-so many cocktail parties and late night singing parties around the piano
-sipping Manhattans out of my parent's friends drinks
-a mini tree with colored lights in my bedroom
-finding my presents in my parent's closet, playing with them for weeks before xmas
-putting a green dress back on my Wedding Day Barbie
-making Holly candies with my mom
-falling asleep to the choir at midnight mass
-opening just "ONE" present on xmas eve night before we go to bed
-waking up at 5am on xmas day
-the crackle of the fire on xmas morning as we open our stockings
-opening stockings then eating eggs and bacon before we dash to open the "big" presents
-the smell of plastic Barbies and my Barbie airplane on xmas morning
-laughing at our dog tearing into her presents, shaking her head like a maniac, growling
-playing with my presents until it was time to get cleaned up for xmas dinner
-stuffing my belly full of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, rolls, pie
-back to playing with my toys before and during bed time
-feeling sad on the morning of December 26th
-at breakfast, my mom telling me there was one more gift Santa forgot to deliver
-opening the best gift of all (like a bike or a doll carriage) the day after xmas!

Extras Finale on HBO this Sunday!

I meant to post about this earlier in the week but forgot! My favorite show, Extras is coming to an end but they will be airing a Christmas special this Sunday on HBO! If you're up for lots of laughter, you must check it out! And if you're not familiar with the show you can read about it here.

Here is a clip from a typical exchange between Andy and his knuckle head agent, Darren. There is another one I'm trying to find that is sooo funny. Darren gets a bluetooth device and he can never answer the calls in time because it takes him forever to figure out the ear piece, hook it to his ear, and flip open the phone. It is soooo annoyingly funny. I'll keep searching for it. *update* FOUND IT!!! the other clip.

I really hope the Christmas finale is just as funny as the regular episodes. Sometimes though, season finales can disappoint (Seinfeld) but let's hope that's not the case with this one.

Chum bear update

So I went to click order on that bear I found for Chum and the shipping was $8.95 bringing the total to $25! I think that's a bit too much money to spend on one toy, one that he may not even like so I canceled the order. Then later that same day Tom and I ran to Tuesday Morning to pick up a bunch of silly gag gifts for our holiday party and we found this guy there for $9.99!

It's long and lanky like Chum's original bear although the color is not exact but aren't cats color blind anyway??? Oh I hope he likes it so I can finally toss his old smelly, crusty bear full of holes. Although I give him credit for making this bear last 13 years.

Unlike Wrigley, who after 5 minutes rips the face off of his teddy bear...

He will NOT be getting a new bear for Christmas.

Chum's new collar

With all sorts of people coming and going during the holidays, I have been having nightmares about Chum getting out of the house. Today I asked Tom if we could go to Petco and get him an ID tag and collar. Surprisingly he obliged so we picked out a fancy black collar with multi-colored hearts and found a simple round black tag. The engrave machine has the option of 1, 2 or 3 lines and we used all 3 for Wrigley's collar: the first being his name, the second line, our phone number and the third line: REWARD, all in caps. So I said to Tom, "We'll just do the same for Chumley, right?" He thinks about it and then says, "Nah, just do 2 lines. We can leave out the REWARD." And without hesitation, I agreed.

I must say Chum looks rather smashing in his fancy new collar...

Dumb stupid tree.

We just got our Christmas tree last week and it's already dying. We got it at Lowe's and I'm extremely disappointed so if you haven't bought your tree yet, I would suggest not going to Lowe's. You can't even walk by it without dozens of needles falling off. And, several of the branches have already started their downward descent so I've lost a few ornaments. One fell off at 2 in the morning while I was asleep. All of a sudden I hear a crash and shatter of glass which is just how I want to be woken up at 2am when the husband is out of town. At first I thought maybe Chumley was playing (or peeing) under the tree but when I saw that it used to be one of the smaller gold balls that I only place at the top part of the tree, I knew Chum couldn't have reached that high. So I'm not quite sure what to do about this tree. I don't want to have to take off all the ornaments and lights to return it but I don't think it's safe to even have the lights on anymore. I have to keep the dust buster hidden underneath the tree skirt (which is a bright red shower curtain by the way) because every time I walk into the living room there are more needles on the ground. Here's a pic of the tree. There were already some bare spots to begin with but it's gotten so much worse over the last few days. Bah Humbug.

The Holly Sisters & The Mistletones

On Wednesday night we decked the halls of the nursing home with our fabulous Christmas caroling. Oh what fun we had! Each year is a learning experience but we've decided that next year, we'll actually program ALL the songs we plan to sing in the i-pod for back up accompaniment. It was nice to see the smiles on the faces of so many and spread a little Christmas cheer to those who need it. And this year we tripled in size! We should really consider a world tour.

The Gingerbread Dance

This was from the Ellen show a couple years ago but it's worth seeing again. Be sure and watch all the way through because the dancing starts at 2:50 and I guarantee it'll make you giggle.

Chumley's Bear

Chum needs a new bear. This one is too banged up and is leaking stuffing out of multiple orifices. A few years ago I bought him a new bear that I found on a UK website (who, coincidentally was named CHUMLEY) so I thought it was meant to be but he would have nothing to do with it. And it wasn't an exact match to this one so that could be part of the problem. So I've been searching online for another one and I found this guy. It's the closest I can find to his current lover so I'm going to order it for him for Christmas. Although based on recent events, he doesn't deserve much more than a stocking full of coal.

does anyone else love this commercial?

I just adore it! And I love the song, Ordinary Miracle, by Sarah McLachlan but this version is sung by Kathy Fisher. And I think I like it better!

I want to go here.

It's a small Christmas town in Austria and in the heart of it is a family run bed and breakfast that sounds magical this time of year. The inn serves home cooked breakfast everyday, offers sleigh rides through the village with a glass of hot gluhwein and then presents you with a Christmas turkey dinner upon your return. How fun is that? I'm going to close my eyes and daydream for a while.

Kitchen fires can happen

Luckily I caught this in time before there were flames.

I was heating up some delicious Trader Joe's Tandoori Naan in the toaster oven to go with some delicious Trader Joe's Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato soup. The instructions said to heat the Naan frozen for 1 - 1.5 minutes. I think, "That's It? That's not long enough, they must be wrong." So I put it in the toaster and went about rifling through the christmas boxes in the garage. I headed back into the house after about 5 minutes and was overcome by smoke. It was EVERYWHERE. And the smell was nasty. I grabbed the Naan out of the oven and the middle was charred and sizzling. I turned on the intake fan in the kitchen which helped to suck up some of the smoke but it's been about 45 minutes and my kitchen still looks like this...



Speaking of Trader Joe's, I LOVE their ready made Chicken Lasagna meal. But take note, if you reheat it in the microwave the next day, it smells like baby diarrhea.

I HATE THIS CAT RIGHT NOW

I am TRYING to stuff the couch cushions back into the shrunken couch cushion covers and they don't fit! I've already bent my fingernail back twice and lost a ring in the stuffing of the cushion!!! ALL THE WHILE I KEEP YELLING OUT LOUD TO THE WORLD...

"I HATE THIS F&CKING CAT!"

I have one more cushion to stuff but I needed to walk away and take some deep breaths. I showered but now am all sweaty. I still need to bake my Christmas cookies too. Oh and I will be covering the couch with a clear plastic shower curtain from the stash that I keep in the linen closet for the beds.

Ok just needed to vent. Back to the blasted cushion covers!!!!"'

this %@^%#@^%# CAT!!!!!

What I need to be doing before the guests arrive in a few short hours:

-getting myself cleaned up
-baking holiday cookies
-vacuuming and dusting

What I am actually doing (besides blogging about this):

-washing not 1, not 2 but 4 of the couch cushions and covers Chumley peed all over.

Lord help me. I have refused thus far to cover our furniture in shower curtains, but what other choice do I have? Should I just find that clear plastic wrap that Ray Romano's mother uses? I don't know but this is the last thing I need to deal with right now. I have to stack the cushions away from the couch to dry otherwise he will pee on them again. As of now the covers are still wet so we may not have a couch for this evening's festivities. I love holiday parties at my house.

Christmas from now on...

It was around this time last year that Tom and I were stricken with a 2 week flu (actually his turned into walking pneumonia) so we weren't able to enjoy many pre-holiday parties and preparations of our own. But I intend on making up for it this year! From now until Christmas each post is going to have somewhat of a Christmas theme. So...

Right now Tom is putting the lights on the tree, carols are playing in the background and I'm getting ready to make my mom's famous sausage cheese balls for tomorrow's party. Tom just put in a special request for some Nog. Wrigley's playing with the ripped off leg of his monkey, and Chum is sitting on the kitchen counter waiting for me to roll the sausage balls. I'm enjoying this night. I hope you are too.

Bloggin' 'bout Nog

Tomorrow night I'm having a little get together at our house after a group of us go caroling at a senior home. I'm in the kitchen, preparing some yummies for the festivities and I thought I'd start with the nog (love that word- rhymes with everything too: log, hog, bog, frog, smog, cog, fog, what else...oh DOG duh and BLOG!!!) So I mixed a few different ingredients in a martini shaker as a trial run and it's absolutely SPLENDID! So I'll share it on here. I just made enough for one serving so I used about 1/4 a cup of each liquid (except for the Amaretto, used a whole cup. Ha! I kid.)

Laura's Nog
-low fat egg nog
-pumpkin spiced egg nog
-skim milk (to cut the fat of the nogs)
-shot of Amaretto
-crushed ice

Shake vigorously until the top flies off the shaker, and sticky goo splatters all over your kitchen counter and floor. Once you are done licking that up, pour remaining mixture over ice and enjoy! Cheers!

a quiet moment

-interrupted.


These two definitely communicate with each other via side glances and air sniffs. And then something sets one of them off and all hell breaks loose.

That does it.

I'm never having kids.

Children shot at bus stop in Las Vegas

Feelin' Festive

Nothing says Merry Christmas like a pair of Groucho Marx glasses and a giant sized beetle bug while dining at your favorite restaurant. (note the fart machine in the background too)

The animals are ready...

for Santa to come!



although Wrigley got to meet Santa in real life but wasn't too fond of him...

"I'm not sitting atop his lap. Smells like a sexual predator to me."