Chumley videos

I just found some old Chum videos from last year that I never posted.

His obsession with tape:




He also likes to stand on my computer and make that annoying BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM sound:




And, he also likes to hit things:



I want my old Chumley back soon!

Chum, Tom's Dad and Rose

We had the mobile vet come back Monday night cuz Chum was going downhill. She gave him 2 powerful antibiotic injections and more fluids. Yesterday morning he actually came out of his little hole that he sleeps in and walked into the kitchen. I fed him some baby food (as suggested by the vet) and he ate several bites. He seemed better yesterday morning but then seemed weaker in the afternoon and evening. We've been giving him oral antibiotics and since he's able to eat something, he's been able to keep them down. He hasn't had any water but the baby food I'm feeding him is just veal/chicken and water so hopefully that is giving him enough hydration. We have tried to give him IV fluids but he gets soooo worked up and in his rage he bit Tom pretty bad. The vet offered to leave her Hannibal Lechter mask with us, but Tom said it wasn't necessary and said she might need it for other cats but she said we need it more than she does but he still didn't want to take it. So now I'm going to try and find one so I can continue to give him fluids without losing a finger or two.

Tom's Dad has been moved out of ICU and he was supposed to be evaluated for hospital rehab earlier this week but the doctors haven't made a final decision just yet. If he doesn't get admitted to hospital rehab the other option is a nursing home which his Dad has said he will refuse. So now we're just waiting to hear what the hospital will decide and go from there.

And since I've not been sleeping much due to worrying about the above, I've now got a nasty, drippy head cold. I'm not going to the senior center until Friday (hopefully am better by then) because I promised Rose I would help her with some things after class. I'm not really sure what's going to happen but I've sort of taken on the role of a therapist which worries me because I don't have the answers for her. She is starting to open up a lot more and that is good but at the same time I don't want her to wonder why I'm not offering her a place to stay. The activities director as well as others have adamantly insisted I do not go there. And I won't because I'm aware of the risks and I'm also aware that offering her a place to stay is not going to solve the problem. She doesn't have any friends, she really never has (I'll get into that later) nor does she have family here but she did mention she used to be very close with neighbors who moved to the midwest. She has their address and we are going to write them a letter and give them my cell number to call so we can inform them of her situation. Not sure what they may offer in way of help or insight but it's worth a try. She was also dropped from AARP membership which she said was the result of a misunderstanding so we are going to try and work on getting that reinstated and see if they can provide any benefits that may help.

And it's frustrating to try and teach class knowing Rose's situation but it's unfair to the other seniors who are trying to learn and sharpen their skills. Just really changes the dynamic in class and my approach to the whole thing. Can't really use words like "homework" or "before you go to bed at night, write in your thankful journal" etc. etc. etc. I feel like I'm slighting the other students and part of me just wants to say F it and not continue. Now my head hurts.

Chum's status

The mobile vet came to the house yesterday afternoon. She took blood samples and tried to get a urine sample but his bladder was empty. She will know the blood results later tonight, hopefully. In the meantime she told us to try and get a urine sample and then within 24 hours take it to one of the two veterinary hospitals she's affiliated with. Both are over 10 miles away, which doesn't seem that far but I'd have to drive thru city traffic to get to either one. I am willing to do that but since the urine sample is time sensitive (and I'll probably be doing this more than once) I wanted to see if I could just take it to Wrigley's vet, just a couple miles up the road. The mobile vet said for me to call them first thing in the morning and see if they'd be willing to do that.

The vet left us some pellets that you put into the litter box (without any litter) and they will help keep the urine fresh for 24 hours. I didn't think that was going to work for Chum so instead we put a bunch of plastic on top of Chum's existing box and moved the box off the couch because Chum is not able to jump up, and put it on the floor in the living room. Tom picked him up and placed him in the box and shockingly, he peed on top of the plastic. I was able to syringe the urine (which was a dark brown color) and then place it in the fridge overnight.

This morning instead of calling Wrig's vet I decided to go there in person and ask them if they would be willing to test the urine as well as provide the prescriptions our mobile vet wrote for Chumley. They told me there was no problem testing the urine but that one of their doctors would need to examine Chumley before they would provide any medications. It's amazing when you string words together like "feral", "extremely aggressive" and "has bitten vets and vet techs pretty bad in the past" will do to change one's mind. The assistant said she would confirm with the doctor if they could make an exception in this case. Within a minute she returned to the desk and said I could come by later in the afternoon to pick up his results as well as the 3 prescriptions I needed.

So now, we just wait. And Chum is not improving at all. He hasn't eaten since Saturday morning. We successfully gave him IV fluids last night and tried again this morning but the needle kept going through his skin and squirting out the other side. He has had some licks of water off my finger as well as some licks of chicken broth, only off my finger, he won't lick anything from the bowl. I think the smell may be too strong for him.

Then this morning I tried a little bit of yogurt and he did take a few licks of that as well, maybe about a teaspoonful before he had enough. I pureed broccoli, carrots and potatoes and tried to give him some of that but he didn't want it. I mixed the puree in with a little bit of yogurt and he barely lifted his head up to sniff and then went back to sleep. Last night I poured some chicken broth into popsicle molds which Chumley used to go INSANE over, and when I held that up to him he just stared off into space.

I am grateful for the flexibility I have to be able to stay home and be here with him. And I am thankful that right now, we are able to pay these vet bills, especially since we're now working with 2 vets.

Chum's inside his fuzzy little hole, sleeping. From time to time his breathing appears more labored and the vet said that is concerning. I'd be lying if I didn't say I keep checking inside his hole, every 15 minutes or so, to make sure he's still breathing.

I'll update more as we go along.

updates

Tom's Dad is still in ICU but the good news is he is stable. He had bleeding on his brain and that is now under control but they are keeping him in ICU probably another couple of days. The stroke was on the right side of his brain so the left side of his body is affected. Speech, movement, all of that. We are waiting to hear if he will be a candidate for hospital rehabilitation which is the best option because the alternative is a nursing facility which does not seem to make his Dad very happy.

And since yesterday morning, Chumley has been sick. Almost one year ago today this similar thing happened. (Sick Chumley) He won't eat or drink and he can barely walk. He has spent most of today under the bed lying in what looks to be an uncomfortable position. He cries like he's in pain when anyone tries to come near him or even talk to him. When this happened last year it happened in the early morning and lasted until the afternoon. He has been this way since yesterday morning and is showing no improvement. The vet will be here shortly. Thankfully she makes housecalls, even on Sundays.

So again, here I am asking for more healing thoughts and prayers for both Tom's Dad and our sweet Chum. I'm starting to feel greedy asking for so many prayers lately but I feel so helpless in both situations and don't know what else to do.

Tell your Dads (and Moms) how much you love them today. For no special reason at all. And maybe surprise your kitty (or dog) with a special treat and lots of extras rubs too. They deserve it.

more prayers

I wanted to write about Rose and give you all an update but am preoccupied with something else. Tom's father was taken to the hospital this morning, it is believed he may have had a stroke. We are still waiting for more information. Please keep him, as well as Tom in your prayers. It's difficult when you live so far away and all you do is sit and wait. I should be used to this by now but it still doesn't make it any easier.

At some point I'll be back on here with more updates. And when I'm able to concentrate I'll share today's encounter with Rose.

I hope you all have a safe and peaceful weekend.

not sure what to do...

I've been teaching a creative writing class at the Senior Center. It's been a welcome break from the computer classes, there are no technical frustrations or unexplained error messages since we're doing this the old fashioned way, just pens and a journal. I adore my students, have really bonded with two of them, and then there were 2 others who I just couldn't connect with. On the first day of class one of the students just sat back and heckled me the whole time. I tried to include her heckles as suggestions but it became really difficult after a while, especially when she told me that what I'm teaching is witch craft. I have NO idea what gave her that impression but when she starting mumbling details about being burned at the stake I thought it better to ignore her heckles from that point on. At the end of class she informed me she would not be coming back because "I never once mentioned Shakespeare!" but she may pop in from time to time to observe. Just what I want.

Then there was another woman who did not speak for the entire hour and a half and and sat expressionless, staring straight at the wall, not making eye contact with anyone. I tried to draw her out but thought that was making her uncomfortable so from time to time I would focus on her while talking, hoping to make some sort of connection, but it just wasn't happening. About mid way through class she reached in her pocket and unwrapped a sandwich and just sat there taking small bite after small bite, staring off into space.

The following week the heckler did not return, (praise the Lord) but the woman who never spoke (I'll refer to her as "Rose") did. Before class started while I was getting set up and organized, Rose rattled off everything I had mentioned from the previous week, starting with the first exercise all the way down to the homework. I told her I was impressed because I didn't see her write anything down, in fact, she never even opened up her notebook. She told me she just remembers things, it was as simple as that. I asked if she would be up to participating more in today's class because she had a lot to offer. She seemed to be embarrassed by that remark, but smiled and said quietly, "I'll try."

Just before I was about to start class the Activities Director came in and said we have a new student starting, she's on her way in and her name is Betty. I FROZE because our next door neighbor's name is Betty, she's 93 years old and we have NEVER gotten along. (until the other day, but now that's another story entirely). Regardless, I was pleased to see it was not our neighbor Betty who waltzed into class and took her seat, next to Rose.

We started out with the New Yorker Caption Contest, everyone has to come up with a caption for the weekly cartoon, which I then submit on behalf of the students. We did some more picture captions from magazine cutouts as well as turning the pictures into News Headlines, then coming up with a short story about each one. These are just some exercises to spark imagination.

After that I asked the students when they went home, to find one of their favorite photos and study it, then write a story about what was happening in that photo. They could make the story fiction, or it could be an actual account of the events leading up to the snapping of the picture. It was their choice. Then, I asked that they bring in the photo so I could make copies of it, and include in their journal along with their story.

Rose's expression start to change, and she looked away from the class, again staring off into space. I asked if everything was ok and she nodded her head yes without making a sound.

Since this was Valentine's day weekend, I brought in some fun craft supplies and cards and asked if the class would like to make a Valentine card for someone special. Since many of the seniors are widowed, I stressed the point that this does not have to be a romantic card, it could be given to a grandchild, a friend who you've lost touch with, or even your next door neighbor. I passed out the cards and supplies and again noticed Rose turn away uncomfortably in her seat.

Then, I saw tears start to fall down her cheek.

Again, I asked if everything was ok.

She answered without lifting her head, "What if you don't have any friends?"

I told her that's ok, and asked if she had any family?

She said that no, they were all dead.

I felt my stomach start to churn.

Then I said, "You know what you can do? How about you write a letter to your mail carrier? You can leave it in your mailbox so when they deliver the mail, they have a nice surprise just for them! They probably never receive a Valentine card from anyone so how about we all do that and let them know how much we appreciate them and their hard work!" I felt pleased with this response because EVERYONE has a mail carrier so she at least would be able to participate in this exercise and feel good about spreading joy to our neglected carriers.

I was NOT prepared for what I heard next.

"I don't have a mail man...because...I don't have a home. I've been living on the streets for the last six months."

And that's when it took every single fiber of my being to not burst into tears right there on the spot.

Rose then went on to explain that her parents had died (her mother 10 years ago and her father, less than 2 years ago) and she was living in their house but ran out of money. She did everything she could to try to save the house but unfortunately, the bank won. She went to a shelter for a while and said she wouldn't wish that on her worst enemy. She said people were violent, angry and a lot of them just wanted drugs or alcohol. Rose wants a job. She broke down in tears and said that she used to have a nice home, and nice things and took care of them and now, has nothing. One of the students, who is hard of hearing said, "Can we please get on with class???"

I looked at her like, "Did you NOT just hear this woman's story?" and then realized she probably didn't because Rose was speaking barely above a whisper.

I told Rose that we would continue our conversation after class and went onto something lighter.

Inside the folder of crafty things, I had a bunch of animal pictures so I spread them out and had the students write a poem about an animal of their choice.

Rose chose a photograph of a cat.

She scribbled down some words while tears streamed down her cheek. Again, my stomach was churning, this time audibly and I felt like I was going to throw up or crap my pants right there in my seat. I begged God to make it stop, make it go away until I was back at home. And then I thought about Rose not having a home. And it got worse. I took some sips of my Diet Pepsi and started to breathe deeply. Rose said, "I used to drink Diet Cokes all the time." I made a mental note to buy Diet Coke and bring them to her next class.

The students finished their poems, which were read aloud in class. Rose's poem finally brought my tears to the surface, the ones I was trying so hard to fight back. I told her it was from the Pepsi, it makes my eyes water but I could tell she knew better.

As we started packing up our things, Rose was still holding the picture of the cat, her poem's inspiration, and was just staring at it. I asked if she liked that cat in the photo. She said that yes she did - he was very sweet. I told her, "Then you keep it." She looked up at me in surprise and said, "No! It's yours!" I said that I have plenty of pictures of cats and I would like her to have it, especially since it inspired her to write such a beautiful poem. You would have thought I just handed her $10,000. She thanked me at least 3 times and carefully folded up the picture and placed it into her pocket.

When class ended, I went upstairs to see "C" the Activities Director and broke down. She said she had no idea that Rose was homeless but then she said it all started to make sense based on her comings and goings. Rose had been coming to the center for about 6 months but never told anyone her situation, until now. She said they brought in a guidance counselor a few weeks ago but Rose was not very receptive and told her she didn't need any help. C and I decided to stay in close contact and she asked if I could find out more information in next week's class. I told her I would do whatever I could to help. When I left her office, there was Rose standing by the elevators. I was hoping that she didn't hear our conversation because I didn't want her to lose my trust. I asked her if she would like to grab lunch (the lunch at the center is soooo cheap and good too) but she declined. We talked for a bit and I realized that Rose is very proud and does not want pity or a hand out from anyone. She is a perfectionist and wants to work. She is not afraid of hard work and when she tried to go through "the system" she said finding work is not even an option when you don't have a home. She said in order to get any sort of help from the state, she needs to prove she is mentally incapable which she is not. She said she always "falls through the cracks" because she does not want a hand out, she wants a job. She went on to tell me the things that she is capable of doing and the places she has tried to find work since living on the streets but it's impossible for people to see beyond the physical. No one takes the time to see her as a hard working older human being. This is where it really hit me, hard. I guess most people want to assume that those who live their lives on the streets, ask for it. They are drug addicts, they are "crazy people", not people like you or me. No, that would be too hard to swallow. But here is a woman, an older woman, who is mentally stable, who should be searching for places warm and sunny to retire, instead of trying to find hard work.

It just doesn't make sense.

So, what do you do?

I will see Rose at class again on Friday. She pretty much hangs out at the Senior Center every day from 10am to 7pm but after that, no one knows where she goes. When I go to bed at night, in my warm bed, swaddled up in my several hundred thread count sheets I can't stop thinking about where Rose might be.

And that, breaks my heart.

Praying for strength for Friday. And any suggestions anyone may have.

Prawns

Tom says when I get mad, my voice sounds like a Prawn from the movie District 9. I don't agree with that.



He also says my burps sound like them.

Now this, is somewhat accurate.

Valentine's Day at the Senior Center

In honor of Valentine's Day, I'm wearing a festive heart shirt today. A man, probably in his mid to late 80's at senior center said he liked it.

I responded with:

"Thanks! Everyone should have a heart on today!"

Yep, it's only a matter of time before I'm fired.

On a separate note, I just jumped on the Twilight bandwagon. Didn't know what to think of all this hype so I figured I'd give the first book a try and so far, it's holding my attention. I'm about half way through and without a doubt, I'm totally Team Edward. And I also realize that by typing this out right now, I'm totally A Big F*cking Loser.

Anyway, Happy VD!!!

it's a small small world

I ran into a friend of mine I haven't seen in quite some time. And not so sure I will keep that friend status after our exchange:

friend:
Oh my God. What are you doing here?

me:
I live here now.

friend:
Really? Since when?

me:
About a year and a half now.

friend:
Wow, I never would have pegged you for a Northwest kind of gal.

me:
Yeah, not sure that title fits.

friend:
But, you look great.

me:
Thank you.

(studies me for a bit)
friend:
What happened here? (pointing to the side of my face)

me:
What? Where?

friend:
Right here, you have some mark on your face. Is it a burn?

me:
Oh that? No. It's just a sun spot. It came out like a year after living in Southern Cal.

friend:
So you just keep it there?

me:
Well I had it lasered but every time the sun comes out it sort of reappears again. It's just a pigmentation thing. Not a big deal.

friend:
Really? I'm surprised you wouldn't be more self conscious about it.

me:
Why? Should I be???

friend:
Well I'm just saying. I mean, your face is like a canvas, like a piece of art. And if you have a flaw on it you'd want to take care of that, you know?

me:
I guess I never thought of it that way.

friend:
It's like a car. You drive a nice, shiny, spotless car. All of the sudden, it gets rear ended. Do you just live with the bumper smashed in? Or do you take it to the shop and get it fixed??

me:
So you're comparing my face to a smashed in bumper???

friend:
NO!! It's an analogy, you know what I mean. I'm just saying, something without flaws should be kept that way.

me:
I'll keep that in mind.

friend:
I really didn't mean to offend you.

me:
No offense taken.

friend:
You have my number still? Stay in touch?

me:
Sure. I'll call you when I get my spot removed, you know, so I don't embarrass you in public.

friend:
You know that's not what I meant.

me:
Of course not.

friend:
So you'll stay in touch?

me:
(about to burst into laughter)
Probably not.

friend:
Seriously? You're being so sensitive.

me:
No. Just honest.

CAN WE SAY LIBERATING!?!?!?!

can't believe I'm posting this one

A couple of weeks ago, I had a life changing experience. I'm not ready to publicly blog about it and may never be. That being said, this experience has changed my perspective on life and if anything, it's made me bolder and more honest and these traits are not always welcomed by everyone. And I'm ok with that. If some of my relationships change as a result of how I want/need to live my life then I'm ok with that too. You can't please everyone and why is it we always feel a need to apologize to people for who we are if it's not who others want us to be??? I could write a 20 page dissertation on this alone but that's not what this post is about. No, this post is about one of the most mortifying experiences I have ever had that happened about a month and a half ago. I was too embarrassed to share it then, but based on my new found perspective, I can't waste time worrying about what others might think, plus everyone loves a gross out story, right? But if you are turned off or disgusted and never want to read my blog again, well then that's your choice to make. Normally I would say, "I'm sorry to have offended you" but I'm not sorry for who I am and what life has dealt me.

So here goes...

I wanted to surprise Tom with a bathroom remodel for his birthday. I called the contractor who initially did some work on our house before we moved in to come over and give me a quote on ripping out cabinets, dry walling, tiling and painting. I was so excited because I wanted to have this project completed while Tom was out of town so when he returned from his trip the bathroom would be finished and he would be sooo surprised! I envisioned us frolicking like children in our sparkly new bathroom and him being so proud of my Extreme Home Makeover accomplishments.

So the contractor came out on a Monday, of course it was raining and when he came to the door I walked him up to the bathroom and told him about my grand master plan. The most challenging part of the project was time frames, the whole thing had to be completed in 3 days which as you know, dealing with contractors is a very tall order. But he assured me it could be done and I was soooo happy and practically skipped down the stairs as I showed him to the door. He told me he would send me a quote later that afternoon. We bid our farewells on the front porch, he got into his truck and off he went, down our driveway.

It was garbage day and I noticed some papers and things in the driveway, that must have spilled out from the can. I went back inside to put on a coat, gloves and some boots, and then went back out to collect the spilled trash. Only it wasn't just your everyday trash. It was the bag that was in my bathroom the past week, that had been chewed open by a raccoon or some other rodent and the contents of the bag were ALL OVER MY DRIVEWAY. Did I mention it was that time of the month???

The side of my driveway, all the way up to the front porch was completely littered with tampons, tampon applicators and maxi pads. Many of the pads had been opened and were stuck to the driveway. And apparently the rain caused the pads to react like a sponge so they grew in size with their contents dripping down the driveway. Our contractor literally had to step OVER bloodied pads and tampons to get to our front door. I practically fell to my knees in shock. I frantically started to pick it all up like it was some sort of psychotic easter egg hunt when a friend of mine pulled up in our driveway. She said, "What are you doing out here in the rain?" And when I told her what had happened she tried to be consoling and comforting but then her face cracked and she couldn't contain her laughter. I told her I'm canceling the job, as much as I wanted this to be Tom's gift, I just could NOT face the contractor again. For all I know he still may have a pad stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

I ended up canceling the job later that night (via email because I couldn't stand to talk to the contractor "live") and I continue to pray to God that I never run into him again. As for the bathroom, I've decided to tackle this project on my own. (Tom doesn't know that yet but he will when he returns from his trip to find the bathroom in shambles).

Chum is mad

He's on the war path today. It's scary living in a house with a cat that gets so angry. He peed on my scarf, and sprayed my laundry basket of clothes. We were out of town for almost 2 weeks and this is what happens upon our return. He also slapped a sleeping Wrigs on the face as he walked by. He's soooo mad at us, the dog, some pillows, just the world in general. I feel bad that he gets so worked up because we left but really, we're home now, all is good, why can't he just accept it?? And it pisses me off that he only pees on MY stuff. I'm not saying I WANT him to pee on Tom's stuff but why am I always the one to get the backlash of his anger??? I'm the one who worries about him non stop, leaving sticky notes in every nook and cranny of the house for our pet sitter to make sure he is safe and comfortable but yet, I get the shaft.

Speaking of shaft, about 2 months ago Chum had a little incident. I didn't mention it on here because I was really worried about him but now that he's ok I'll type away. He has been on his bear A LOT lately and one night after a love fest I noticed Chum was walking funny, like he had a rod up his ass or something. When I tried to see what was wrong he growled and slapped me. And anytime Tom or I would walk by he would growl and hiss, he was really upset. The next morning he was still walking funny and then he laid down and stuck his leg up in the air and I noticed his peep was sticking out. This is not unusual after he's on his bear but he hadn't been on his bear, he was just laying down. And he was still walking funny and VERY upset. A couple hours later I noticed him trying to lay down and he was having a hard time moving and when he finally settled, up went his leg again and there was his peep, bright and red. And he also stopped peeing in the litter box, he would pee on the couch (still covered in a shower curtain) but right next to the litter box. I think I mentioned we have a litter box on top of the couch. Anyway, I called the vet and explained that I think his peep was somehow stuck and she called in a prescription for him and within the first dose he was better. He was on medication for a month and all seems ok in that department now, but he's on that damn bear soooo much that I'm afraid it's going to happen again. I have to make sure the part of the bear that he humps (which is usually the rump, right under the tail) is clean so he doesn't get an infection or anything. Too bad they don't make kitty condoms. It's like preventing an STD.

I never thought I'd have to worry about this with a CAT.

It's funny, sometimes, I can actually feel my hairs turning gray. No kidding.

Tennis Ball Stand Off

Chum biting Wrig's paw

A hiss from Chum

Wrigs trying to grab with his mouth

Another hiss from Chum (and Wrigs too?)

A slap swat to Wrig's paw

Then a stare down

Still staring...

Wrigs takes the prize.

Chumley's Bear

I'm sure I've mentioned on here one or two or eleventy times that Chum has a lover bear that he humps. A LOT. He carries it up the stairs, down the stairs, into the kitchen into the living room, sometimes even makes it up to the bed with him. THAT freaks me out. He once did the deed on the bed while Tom and I were um... and well, when I realized what was going on I felt like it was one big orgy so I grabbed the bear and threw it on the floor and yelled at Chumley, NO MORE SEX ACTS ON OUR BED! He bit my legs. (Chumley, not Tom.)

Anyway, Chumley's bear has always been somewhat of a comfort to him in this twisted perverted way so we let him have his moments because at least he's not biting, peeing or destroying anything. If I take a shower, he runs to his bear and humps. If I leave to get the mail, by the time I get back inside he's assumed the position on his bear. Even if I step outside for a minute to call Wrigs, Chum hops on the bear. I know when I'm gone all day that poor bear must get mutilated. In that pic above he had the bear all tangled up in some yarn but obviously that didn't stop him. So last night Tom and I went downstairs into the family room to test out his new putter and we're not even down there 30 seconds when we hear the howls from Chumley as he mounts his bear.

Tom:
"He's like the teenager who whacks off as soon as the parents leave the house."

me:
"Gee Tom, thanks for that lovely glimpse into your adolescence."

Tom:
"I'm not saying I did that."

I make an obscene gesture while raising my eyebrows at him. He grumbles, "Whatever" and returns to putt on his putting machine as Chumley's howls grow louder and louder. We live in a nut house.

everywhere

Have No Fear.

I'm coming out of the closet

One year after my father passed away, I started an anonymous blog. Typically this sort of post would have been over there but I am closing that down and "coming out of the closet" so to speak and will start to share some of what was on there, on here. I felt like I had to switch gears, when writing on one or the other and sometimes that was difficult. And it was part of the reason I neglected this one so much. So now, I'm going to somehow marry the two together and just see what happens.

I am fearful. We all have fears. How can we not? Watch the news, read the paper, click on "warning" emails from friends/family about possible dangers, some even in your own home. There is reason to be fearful. We live on this enormous planet filled with billions of people and we have access to more information through so many mediums that our minds can't possibly process it all. It is overwhelming. Exhausting. The last few months, starting with the senseless murders of several police officers here in Seattle and now ending with the recent obliteration of Haiti has my mind in a fog. Throw in the failed attempt to take down a jet liner on Christmas day and all the other news making stories (deadly home invasions, gang shootings, rapes, car accidents, natural disasters, I can keep going on for hours here but you know where I'm going with this) the point is, just click on any news site and read the top headlines. These aren't just words. These are life changing tragedies. When I read them online or watch them on the news I think, someone's life is forever changed by what just happened, and I pray for them. Them being, complete strangers, but that could be any one of us. I say a prayer asking for God to give them strength and guide them through their pain. And sometimes I just sit and cry.

I'm learning how to compartmentalize my fears/worries/sadness about the things I can't control without losing compassion. I never want to turn my back and be one of those people so caught up in their own little world that I become ignorant to the suffering of others. But I also don't want to become paralyzed by my emotions and feel like I'm slighting those around me, who I deeply love and care for. Does that make sense? And when I am with my friends and family I want to be PRESENT. Physically, I'm there, but emotionally I remain distant because my focus is on another part of the world, or with the family of a hit and run victim that headlined the morning news. I need to file those thoughts away one by one. Right now they appear as thousands of pieces of paper swirling around in circles blown by an industrial sized fan. I need to pull that plug.

Recently, during a sleepless night I came to a conclusion that brought me some comfort. I thought about all the people in the world and all of the good things that happen every minute of every day. Just imagine if those were headlined! There is not enough ink in the world or bandwith on the internet to broadcast those stories. So for every tragedy, there are multitudes of blessings that off-set the bad. This brings balance to the universe as well as peace in my little pocket of the world.

Red Cross Link for Haiti

If you are interested in donating to help those in Haiti, here is a link to the Red Cross. It is safe, trusted and simple.

DONATE NOW

Click either the red "Donate Now" button at the top and select the International Response Fund, or scroll down and click the smaller "Donate Now" button and it will automatically take you to that page.

Things said while watching the Bachelor

Let me just say, that this is what I get for forcing Tom to sit and endure 2 hours of the Bachelor with me. I like to think of it as payback for all those hours I'll never get back watching golf.

Here are some of his highlights of the night (in no particular order):

"Did they purposely search for googly eyed girls this season?"

"How come that one girl isn't in the pool? She must have her period."

"CANKLES!"

(during the dancing in the park segment with the band, Chicago, serenading them)

"This is what I imagine hell must be like."

(after Chris Harrison told Jake about Rozlyn being asked to leave the show)

"Don't you dare start crying douchebag!"

"It sucks she's off the show (Rozlyn). Would have enjoyed seeing her bounce around in that bikini a few more times."

"Look at the cameraman running back there. He was hoping douchebag would lean over that railing for a cry shot." (I actually LOVE that he caught this. It appears my years in tv/film are finally rubbing off on him)

"That bimb looks like she would have b.o."

"Why are all the girls crying now? Their periods must be synced."

"Can you imagine if you ever did this show? They'd be like 'Where's Laura???', 'Oh check the bathrooms.' "

"Another commercial for Vagisil???"

This is all for now. There were many more, some that I don't think appropriate to share, but who knows, I may add them later. He certainly bumps the entertainment value up a notch or two.

one of my fav love songs...

a whore's bath

We have 2 shower heads in our shower, one that is affixed to the wall and one that is like a hose, that we use mostly to wash Wrigs. I'm in the shower using the hose (I didn't want to wash my hair) and Tom walks in the bathroom to see me rinsing. He says, "Why are you using Wrig's shower?" I tell him that I'm just washing my unmentionables and I don't need a full on shower. He says "Oh, a whore's bath."

Thank you Gregg (Karen's husband). We use the term quite a bit in this house.

yuck toe

me: I think I have a toenail fungus.

Tom: Why??? Why do you say this?

me: Because, I took off my nail polish and my big toe is the color of scrambled eggs.

Tom: Seriously Laura??? There are some things you really don't need to tell me.

me: Well, what do I do?

Tom: I don't know. I've never had yuck toe.

me: I guess I'll just paint over it.

Tom: There's only so much I can take and this, isn't one of them.

me: Do you wanna see it?

Tom: No.

(I start to remove my sock)

Tom: NO!!!

Someone got a new toy

I think he likes it.

The most wonderful time of the year.

Oprah's Favorite Things Parody

I have been looking for this video forever online and thanks to this blog I found it! It makes me laugh soooo hard. Hope you all enjoy it too. Thank you KayCaskey!

momism

My mom says to me on the phone: "Did you hear that Banks Beetle is going out of business?"

My brain goes into overdrive quickly trying to scan company names that sound even remotely close: Birkenstock? L.L. Bean?? Bank of America?? BEETLEJUICE!?!? I GIVE UP.

me: "What kind of store is it?"

mom: "You know, they sell jewelry."

me: "Ohhh, Bailey Banks and Biddle."

mom: "Right. They're going out of business."

Then later in the conversation she warned me to avoid buying precious gems or stones at Macy's because they are fakes. Good thing she caught me in time because I was just on my way out to buy myself a ruby tennis bracelet.

compromise

So typically on the weekends a trip to Home Depot or Lowe's is involved. I used to wait in the car when Tom would say, "It'll be quick, just need to pick up one thing." But I've learned my lesson. There is never just one thing. So I'll go in with him and within seconds, he's off in a million directions. I usually wander the seasonal aisles or hang around in light fixtures and tell him to meet me in one of those places when he's done. Or if we have Wrigs with us I take him to the door section and we open every door, even the sliders and walk through them together. Wrigs LOVES it. It's funny because one time when Tom was looking for us, he went looking in the doors section and asked the guy sitting there if he'd seen a woman and dog going in and out of these doors and the man said "Yes, why do they do that?" (THEY makes me laugh, like this was all Wrigs idea) and Tom replied that "we're just training our dog." (Yes, because our dog needs training on how to walk in and out of a door. So stupid! But still, we will continue to do it.)

Anyway, so when we're at Home Depot inevitably Tom and I can't find each other. This happens ALL THE TIME. I'll try his cell, he will have left it in the car. So my last resort is paging him and he HATES it. But I get so frustrated that I almost enjoy doing it because it pisses him off so much. As soon as Tom hears his name over the loud speaker, I'll see him appear in the distance and the look on his face is PURE EVIL. He seriously wants to kill me. Then I get pissed because he's so pissed and then a verbal exchange ensues that goes something like this...

TOM: Why do you DO that?? I told you where I was going to be!?!

ME: I looked for you everywhere. Obviously you weren't in ONE spot, look at all the crap you have in the cart.

TOM: Well, I need this stuff. It's all for the same project.

ME: Whatever, I hate this place.

TOM: I'm sick of you paging me.

ME: I'm sick of you wandering off like a lost child.

TOM: You're the one wandering off! Why don't you stay with me instead of walking through 25 doors all the time!?

ME: Because that's just what I do.

So yesterday Tom came with me on some errand running. I had to go to Michael's and Joann Fabrics. He didn't realize we were going to hit both stores so after Michael's I said "OH I just have to stop at Joann's while we're here" and he got all flustered and was like, "How long is this going to take?? What do you need? Why didn't you get it all at Michaels???" I explained to him that these are two different stores much like Lowe's and Home Depot and also reminded him that there have been times we have stopped at BOTH Lowe's and Home Depot and even ACE hardware all in the same day and that finally shut him up. Our relationship is based on so much compromise which is good but it's like we have a running tally of who does what and when. It'll be like, "Ok you can have golf on for one hour if you clean out the litter boxes and empty the dust buster." Or "If you scratch my back for 20 minutes, I'll help you rake leaves." Stuff like that.

Anyway, while in Joann's, I realized that I do the same thing he does to me when we're in his type of stores. I get so overwhelmed once inside and even though I have a list of things I need to get, I can't focus on a single thing because my sensory overload has kicked into high gear and I'm off running around like a wild banshee, leaving Tom in my wake. And I completely lose all track of time.

Yesterday all we needed to get was garland and lights, that was it. But somehow I ended up in the back of the store in the knitting supply aisles and was probably there for about 10 minutes or so having a conversation with a fellow knitter about graduated color yarns and color blocks of yarn and the difference in their look depending on what you're knitting. As we're chatting, I see a figure run past the aisle and then two seconds later back up and of course it's Tom and he's just standing at the end of the aisle staring at me. I bid my farewell to the knitter and throw some yarn in my cart. Our exchange:

TOM: How does THIS (pointing to the yarns) have anything to do with the garland and lights you needed??

ME: You're one to talk. You go to Home Depot for tub caulk and come home with a Leaf Blower.

He picks up my big wad of chunky purple yarn and drop kicks it high into the air then catches it and dangles it above my head. I pretend to kick towards his privates and now we are full on wrestling, swinging and chasing each other around the yarn aisles at Joann fabrics. Now Tom and I will say things to each other that sound really bad but they are totally in fun. So as we're acting like idiots with the yarn he says, "I'm going to tie you up with this and roll you down the hill side." I start laughing and grab some knitting needles and slap his ass with them. I tell him I'm going to knit his lips shut so I never have to hear him squawk again and he tells me he's going to chop me up into little pieces and flush me down the toilet. And all the while the little knitter I was chatting with just moments before stands quietly to the side watching us in horror.

Perspective

I think about those who are fighting in this war, risking their lives, losing their sanity, not knowing if they will ever see their families again. Then I think about their families, wrought with worry, so helpless to keep their loved ones safe from the harm that can strike at any minute. But yet, full of hope that they will return to their home, safely...where they belong.

Then I see someone at the local coffee shop, furiously upset at the barrista because her latte tastes "too bitter".

And I think, perspective.

Then, I think, maybe this is the wife of some soldier on his 4th tour, fighting for our freedoms, HER freedom to complain openly and loudly that her latte is not to her liking, and maybe she is at the end of her rope distraught from the constant fear of possibly never seeing her husband again, having to raise her 5 out of control children alone, and maybe...maybe she is not well? Maybe she is terminally ill and after months and months of horrifying treatments she is finally able to enjoy this one small cup of coffee and when she finally clutches it in her hands and holds it up to her nose, she delights in the aroma..."Oh how I've missed thee!", she thinks to herself. And then she takes that first sip and...

...goes bat shit crazy.

I'm not saying I wish these horrible circumstances upon this woman, but I just hope that people take the time to be grateful for the blessings and freedoms we have that so many others will never get to experience.

Our troops are out there fighting and dying every single day. Innocent people are also dying along with them. Right now as we sit in the comforts of our warm homes and tap into our computers to read blogs, or write emails or share photos with friends on facebook, people are struggling, suffering, dying.

I wish I had the courage to say that to woman at the coffee shop, but I didn't. I don't know her story and really- who am I to tell someone to shut the F up when I tend to bitch and moan about less important things too? We all do, but it doesn't mean that we don't acknowledge the sacrifices others make for the freedoms we have in this country.

So let's not take them for granted.

That's all I'm saying.

Chumley enjoying some broccoli

I haven't posted any videos in soooo long so I figured I would share this little clip of Chum enjoying one of his favorite treats.

This time last year...

We were renting a cold house, didn't know many people, and were pretty miserable (ok I was pretty miserable)

Now, we are still in a cold house (our heat broke) but, I have soooo many blessings to be thankful for.

It's even rainy and crappy as crap today but what a difference a year makes.

We have met some amazing people who have warmly welcomed us into their lives and I feel so blessed to have formed these friendships that will carry us through a lifetime.

Getting involved in the community has helped too. I've been volunteering since June at the Senior Center, teaching internet and email classes to the seniors in the community. I'm now going to start working there in January, teaching a Creative Writing/Poetry class which I'm really excited about. Was supposed to start in November but they just got new computers so alas...2 more months of computer classes. God, give me patience. But really, I do love it and the "students" have enriched my life in ways I never thought possible.

I'm also freelancing on a couple projects which is another great outlet for staying current in the business world and also maintaining contacts in the tv/film industry. Again I have been very blessed and am grateful to the people who have not given up on me, even though I am no longer living in S. Cal.

My mom had a health scare about a month ago, and thankfully she is doing well. She has now been diagnosed with Diabetes and has to completely change her eating habits but this was another blessing because had she not had the emergency surgery on her intestines, we would have never known about the diabetes. Her doctor just gave her the OK to come out and visit us for Thanksgiving as well as my birthday and we are very happy about this. Tom's mom will be out here too and Tom is running the Seattle marathon on Nov. 29th and we will be there to cheer him on! He ran the Chicago marathon 10 years ago so his mission is to beat his time and qualify for Boston. One minor thing he needs to realize...Seattle has HILLS!!

Anyway, I just wanted to stop and count my blessings today. I'm sitting here, by the fire (since there's no heat), watching the leaves blow and the waves flow to the shore. I've got Wrigs to my right and Chum atop one of the shower curtain covered chairs to my left and right now, life...is really good.

Take care and think about the blessings in your life too.

xoxo


(starting to knit some holiday gifts too. this is Little Blue Bear)

The story of Nubs

Nubs

letters to the animals

Dear Sweet Wrigley,

I love you so much you Big Lug, Grape Ape, Noodle bodied- yellow beast. You are the most entertaining and comical dog I have ever had in my life and I could kiss, no, EAT your paws off, that's how much I love you. Thank you for giving me a soft place to fall when I need you.

And now, Chumley,

I can honestly say that thanks to having you in my life for 15 years... I will NEVER have another cat. Sometimes, I think you are an alien spy or an evil terrorist disguised in a cat's body. I will never understand why you do some of the things you do and why when you're sitting atop the kitchen counter, gently pawing at my cell phone, then looking up at me to make sure I'm watching and when I see you I say, "STOP IT CHUMLEY!" and with that you literally WIND UP your paw and slap my phone to the ground. And now, my screen is black. I am done trying to figure you out. We will co-exist in this house for the remainder of our lives. Tom is convinced you are going to outlive all of us. Btw, happy birthday. There is no liver/salmon souffle this year. Sorry. Ass.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

"I COME TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!"

Something's up

I obviously interrupted these 2. They were just sitting on the couch looking at each other, then I walked in and they quickly turned to look at me. My guess is it was a stare off. They make me laugh out loud at least 10 times a day.

this will make you laugh!

Karyn and Bev made an ecard of us during their visit to Seattle:

The Monster Mash

It's nice to know...

Someone's always watching over you.

(thank you Karyn for these AMAZING photos)

Chumley

doing what he does best.

SCANDAL!

Wrigs moved in on Chum's woman. More to come...

Prayers please

My mom is having emergency surgery tonight. This came as a huge surprise to all of us. She was taken to the ER today and admitted to the hospital. Her surgery is going to be at 9 pm central time. Please say prayers. I am here in Seattle and feel helpless. Brings back way too many memories of my Dad. Please say prayers. THank you.

SURGERY WAS SUCCESSFUL! We are so relieved and thankful for the prayers. Now we can focus on recovery. SO HAPPY about that!

Truly Amazing Art

A letter to Beverly, From Wrigley

(as a result of this)

BEVERLY,

I saw the photos you sent to my brother Chumley (I hacked into his email) and I think they are very, very naughty. You can't come dressed that way to our house. No way.

I have a girlfriend and her name is Ruth and she will not be happy with you parading around half naked flaunting your seven nipples. If you try to disrobe at any point while you are here I will throw my Snuggie on you.

Here's a picture of Ruth. She's really stunning.

I also have a boyfriend, his name is Norm but I don't think he'd mind seeing your nipples so let's just forget about him for right now.

Anyway, Chumley wanted me to tell you he's really looking forward to your visit.

Fondly,
WRIGLEY

ATTENTION THOSE IN DALLAS, TEXAS

(and surrounding areas too!)

My friend Jane is looking for a good home for her sweet cat Shadow. Please see below and if you know anyone looking to adopt a cat, please pass along. I know there are quite a few animal lovers out there so I thought I would use this blog as a way to reach out because you just never know. Shadow is an 8 year old male.



Meet Shadow! He's a big lover boy who loves to snuggle and sunbathe.
He's good with other cats and dogs, but would prefer to be the center
of attention and be in a home where he's king of the castle without
any other furry friends. Because he's such a big boy (approximately 18
pounds), he doesn't know his own strength and is not good with little
children. Shadow has slightly elevated liver functions and takes a
half a pill to keep them regulated daily. These pills are very
inexpensive and he takes them very easily without putting up any kind
of a fight. He loves to snuggle and purr. We have a new baby in the
home, and unfortunately, he has not adjusted well. I would love to
find him a new home where he will be loved on and cared for. Please
e-mail me with any questions at janebrauscher@gmail.com.

homeless

I see you
But then, I quickly turn away.
Afraid our eyes will meet
And connect our hearts.
Why are you here?
Where is your home? Family?
Have you ever felt love before?
I don't want to think of you
Cold and hungry in the darkness of night.
You deserve so much more
What can I do?
I've now met your gaze
And feel hopeless.
All I can do
Is offer you love.
A pat on the head,
You are loved, sweetheart.
You are loved.

The battle over the new toy

The concert

was a lot of fun.

But pics did not turn out so good.


Need to be better prepared for next time.

Mr. Lucky is a FABULOUS album. Was worth the 7 year wait!

tonight

Is the Chris Isaak concert and I am thrilled to bits! His latest album, Mr. Lucky is awesome.

Here is one of my favs:

We've Got Tomorrow

Best played REALLY loud.

And for a little more mellow mood this song is perfect:

Breaking Apart

I'm not a fan of country music at all and I don't think this really classifies as true country even though it sort of has that sound. I just love his lyrics, the melodies and of course his smooth as silk voice. Sooooo excited for tonight!

dirty little secret (update to an update!)

ALERT! ALERT! I do NOT like the Buddy Rinse Conditioner. Used it today and the smell was not the same smell as the spray when applying to wet hair. Sort of smelled like it at first but then had a meat sort of smell. Not only that, I didn't like the way my hair dried after using it. My hair doesn't smell bad now that it's dry, but it's very dull, not shiny at all and limp. I still do LOVE the Spray but I'm only going to use the rinse on those with fur in this house. Tom???

------

Wrigs and I went to the pet store to get the animal's essentials so of course I had to stop at the shampoo/spray area and check out some more of the goodies. I'm opening bottles, sniffing them, then showing them to Wrigs so he could have a sniff too, (didn't want to appear too obvious that I'm buying this stuff for myself) and I found Buddy Rinse Conditioner, in the same scent as the spray. I popped it in my cart and headed over to the register. The sales girl says to me, "Oh have you tried the shampoo on him?" I tell her that no I think we'll just stick with the conditioner for now. Then she says, "The stuff smells so good I want to use it on my own hair." I think, should I go there?? Oh what the hell so I say, "Well actually, I'm buying this to try myself." I wait for strange looks but get none. She says, "I know people who do that. One of the girls who works here uses the spray on her hair all the time." I blurt out, "I LOVE THE SPRAY! I use it all the time and that is why I'm buying the conditioner!" She laughs at me and says, "Did you know there's also a bar soap?" I tell her, "SHUT UP I NEED IT NOW" and she takes me back over to the aisle. But unfortunately, the bar soap is sold out. Now I'm starting to wonder how many people are really using this stuff on their dogs. I think the secret's out. Has anyone been able to find it yet? If so, please let me know what you think! It's delicious.

Oh and I'll let you know how I like the Buddy Rinse, probably within the next 3 days or so.





Since I'm a lazy ass and don't like to wash/dry/style my hair unless birds start taking up residence... I read somewhere that it's damaging to the hair follicles if you wash your hair too often so I typically wash and dry no more than 3 times a week. When my hair starts to get icky I use a conditioning spray that works WONDERS and makes it smell fresh and clean while adding a little sheen to the surface.

This spray is only sold in select stores. You won't find it at your high end salons, discount beauty suppliers, drugstores, Targets, etc. Nope, none of those places will carry it. But waltz into your local pet store and low and behold there it is...

Buddy Splash Pet Spritzer

My favorite is the Lavender Mint splash and I'm usually not a fan of lavender but it's so subtle and is one of the cleanest smelling sprays I've ever tried. Oh and Wrigs likes it too! Our local pet store carries it for $5.95 and I'm tempted to try some of the other scents.

I'll bring Wrigs along as my decoy.

this is toooooooooo cute!

I love when he squeaks towards the end. What a baby!

Vacuum Cleaner Blow out

Since there seems to be an abundance of highly depressing news lately I thought I'd switch gears and focus on something a little less critical but still not very uplifting. Vacuuming. But to be more specific, vacuuming small throw rugs and bath mats. Does anyone else have a knock down drag out fight with their vacuum when attempting to vacuum these tiny little plots of hell? I absolutely DREAD it and I have to mentally psyche myself up before I flip on the switch and begin that nightmare process. I even try different techniques such as picking up the vacuum, placing it on the rug/mat then allowing it to suck up the area it's resting on without even moving it, then shutting off the vacuum, moving it a centimeter so it can suck up the next spot but inevitably this ends up in disaster and half the fricking rug gets sucked inside and I'm yanking on the son of the bitch vacuum soooo hard that I end up either hurting my neck from the whip lash when the rug finally releases or the kick back from the force of the vacuum causes it to slam down on my foot. This is why I never, ever EVER will vacuum barefoot EVER again. Oh and then there's the noise the vacuum starts to make when you suck up the rug, it's like a high pitched whining sound and sometimes I just yell so loud, "SHUT UP YOU WHORE!" and Tom will know that I mean business and stays out of my way. Then the whole room starts to smell like burnt hair and that is when I purposely kick the vacuum down to the ground so it's laying on its back and I calmly say "You're dead to me" and walk away.

Time to wash my pits and splash cold water on my face. I feel better already.

prayers

are with those affected by the wild fires in southern California and for the families of the 2 firefighters who were killed. This is just a recurring nightmare that plays over and over and over this time of year. Just completely horrifying for those in its path. So devastating.

"Don't Drink the Orange Juice"

that's what my mom told me right now but she really means, "Don't Drink the Kool- Aid."

momism

mom:
"Hi honey, wanted to let you know that I ordered you and Tom some breasts from QVC." (at this point I'm thinking WTF but didn't interrupt, she continues) "They look delicious and should arrive by the 27th. Share some with your friends. They are parmesan breaded chicken breasts." (Thank goodness. I knew at some point this would make sense)

Can't wait for my box o' breasts to arrive!

you say tomato

I say...waste of money!

what you are looking at is the result of 3 topsy turvy tomato plant attempts. Coupled with a $158 water bill I'd say this crop was a big fat bust. Not sure what to do with this one tomato though. I feel as though it should be honored seeing it's the only viable source of food that sprung from the plant's loins. Maybe I'll make the world's smallest bloody mary. For Chumley.

since you've been gone

Tom and I like to make up stupid songs for each other. If we hear a song on the radio or on our pod we'll change the lyrics around to poke fun at or be mean to each other. All in fun. Most of the time.

So earlier today there was a segment on tv about Kelly Clarkson and they played a clip of Since You've Been Gone. Instantly Tom busts into his own rendition with:

"Since you've been gooooooone, I've had nothing but a GREAT TIME!"

He looked at me then laughed. I said that wasn't very nice and followed with:

"Since you've been gooooooone, I don't seeeeee anymore-black-socks-on-the-floor!" (I incorporated some dance moves too, while pointing at random socks strewn all over the closet/bedroom floor)

then he shouts out,

"Since you've been gooooooone, there's no more haaaaair stuck to the shower wall!"

so naturally I continue with:

"Since you've been gooooooone, I can't find a single nose hair in the sink!"

he tried not to laugh because he KNOWS this is SO TRUE and then came back with:

"Since you've been gooooooone, I get laaaaaid ALL the TIME!"

*crickets, crickets*

Yeah, we're done with this song.

stuck on the sh*tter again

when you spend 1/3 of your day in the bathroom you have a LOT of time to think about nonsense or make up stupid songs. I guess I like to do a combo of both.

Here is today's little ditty sung to the tune of "Stuck in the Middle with You":

Stuck on the Shitter Again

well I don't know why I ate that tonight
I got the feeling that something ain't right
I'm so scared I'm gonna crap in my chair
and I wonder do I have clean underwear??
TP to the left of me
magazines to the right, here I am
stuck on the shitter again.

yes I'm stuck on the shitter again,
and I wonder if I'll be here til 10.
it's so hard to keep a smile on my face
when my bowels explode all over the place
spray to the left of me
candles to the right, here I am,
stuck on the shitter again.

(my dream is to get some cartoon software and make little videos for all of my crazy songs. don't worry they're not all about poop)

not so politically correct

but I was irritable.

Tom and I ate an early lunch in town and within minutes I had some SERIOUS stomach issues. We had walked to the restaurant and now had about a mile and a half walk back home. We're both rushing (and I'm clenching) and on the sidewalk we're log jammed behind a large Asian family (large as in quantity of people, not size). These people just decided to stop right there and block any and all walking room. Frustrated I said out loud, "MOVE IT, Jon and Kate plus 8!" They still didn't move so we side winded into the street AND traffic to pass them.

Tom says I need to collect myself and keep those thoughts in my head from now on.

I say, not so much.

Wrigs Spa Day

Tom asks, "DOYOUWAHFLOWAHHHH???"

SBF

For the past month or so I've had what I like to call, "Severe Brain Fog." What is Severe Brain Fog or SBF? Well if my brain wasn't so foggy I'd be able to tell you in precise terms but since I can barely hold a thought I'll just cite some examples.

-Several days ago Wrigs and I drove into town, parked and walked to tend to our errands. Dry cleaning, bank, pharmacy, pet store, things like that. Well when I got back to the car, I put Wrigs in the back and then I got in and sat in the passenger seat. I checked my phone, answered a text and then thought, wait a second, I DROVE HERE! The area where I parked was bustling with lunch time crowds so rather than look like a moron and get out of the car and walk over to the driver's side I rummaged through the glove compartment as though I sat there purposely trying to find a map, tire gauge or what not. Then after grabbing an old pen and moving it into the center console I straddled the shifter and casually slid into the driver's seat.

-I was on some strong antibiotics because when I was back in Chicago en route to Pittsburgh, I got some nasty bug. I ended up having to go to Urgent Care and when the doctor took a throat swab the top of the q-tip was covered in dark red blood. Still don't know what it was (wasn't strep) but the doctor was concerned and put me on a high dose of antibiotics. This is when things really kicked into high gear. It wasn't so bad in the mornings but for whatever reason (wine) my night time dose really messed me up. I started seeing these blobby faces in my tea, in noodles, and even when I'd close my eyes. It got so bad one night that the face in my tea had teeth and was chewing at me. I threw the glass and the rest of the bottle of tea down the drain because of the sticky faces I saw.

-And then this morning I was making coffee as I do just about every morning and instead of pouring water into the coffee pot I poured it halfway full of milk. Thankfully I realized what I did before I poured the milk into the coffee maker because that would have been a pain in the ass to clean out. I know I'm not old but isn't this a sign of what old age is kind of like? (Aside from the hallucinations which I think were caused by an intolerance to the meds.)

Oh and one of the worst things I EVER did was just the other night. Tom and I were out til about 11:45pm trying to watch the meteors. Chum n Wrigs were with us then Tom and Wrigs went inside and I followed shortly after...but I forgot about Chum. Poor guy was outside on the deck ALL NIGHT in the cold and rain til 7:30 the next morning. Never in the 15 years of owning this cat have I ever left him outside like this. If anything would have happened to him I could never have forgiven myself.

Anyway, just wanted to share my SBF issues on here. I really want to update more and may have to do blogging like I do my facebook updates, random snippets of nonsense here and there. That seems to be the only way I can function/communicate lately.

sisters

Yesterday, was her birthday.
I never met her, but I feel her presence through my mom's sadness,
On the day of her birth and again on her death-
And many days in between.
There should have been 3 of us,
But it didn't turn out that way.

Sunday funny

"I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod."

(sent to me via email from my friend Rebecca - this did not really happen to me, just wanted to clarify!)