Iced Coffee Day

ChiTownGirl sent this to me via e-mail:


Is she trying to kill me??? For those of you who can stomach the brew I hope you enjoy your stupid iced coffee.

A couple more Momisms...

Tonight at dinner my mom asked the waiter, "Is there steak in the flat iron steak salad?" The waiter looked at her like she had 3 heads but answered politely with, "Yes. I believe there is."

There was a recent drug bust in my sister's town where some hoodlums actually took up residence in a vacant house and started making crystal meth. My sister was giving us the details on the situation and my mom said, "Those are swatters." (she meant squatters.) And then on a separate occasion my sister was talking about a friend who is trying to get these "swatters" kicked out and my mom asked, "Are these the people with the Mets Lab?" Though there is such a thing and it's not baseball related. Check out the Mets Lab affiliated with the University of Chicago hospital. Perhaps she heard of this while discussing molecular genetics and cell biology with some friends.

I must say some of these momisms are starting to rub off on me. Tonight we were deciding on where to go out to dinner and I said, "How about Oprah's?" (meant to say Opah's.) Though it's not funny when I say it.

Settle down MSNBC

You'd think with the recent cyclones, earthquakes and wildfires the news sites would be a bit more selective when slapping a BREAKING NEWS headline across their front page. I mean, I guess to golfers the fact that Annika Soresnstam retiring is newsworthy, but I'm not about to grab the earthquake survival kit and camp out in the bathtub because of it.

A letter to Karyn

***Update 3****
Oh for the love of GOD!! Now look who wants in on the action...

TOO:BevLy
FROM: WRIGLEY
I haf a flufffy belly too. I like long waulks and snuggle times. But furst I must sniff your bottom. I think I LUV you.

***Update 2***
I asked Chumley if he was calm enough to respond to Bev's post and as he sat down to type he began tugging on his taliwacker (thank you to a reader-in the UK???-for introducing me to that word). It's obvious this is going to take some time and perhaps more therapy before he is able to get a grip on things. He did settle himself enough to ask me to post a pic of one of his first dates with Bev. He prepared quite a spread (all by himself) of Ukranian Bread, Irish Cheese (Bev's favorite) and a 2005 Mondavi White. Here he is making sure the bread isn't too warm. He didn't want to burn Bev's little tongue...


He asked that I keep the photos of the date private and I will respect his wishes. Especially since Bev tends to get a little crazy after a cat bowl of wine. I came home to find her collar hanging from the chandelier. But here she is after a full belly of bread and cheese...


Cute little thing is quite the piggy when she eats! She had cheese all over her face and I caught her in mid lick. OMG. I hope that was cheese on her face. Now you can see why this is getting out of hand and needs to be stopped.

***Update***

A response. As you can imagine Chum's really worked up over this so I'm going to let him cool off for a while before he sends his reply. Right now he's huffin' and puffin' walking in circles and every other word is "G-dammit" or "that hussy".

Oh great, now he's heading for his humpy bear.

**********************************************

Karyn,
It's happening again. Beverly is sending obscene emails to Chumley late at night, obviously when you're asleep (or otherwise pre-occupied). It's been going on for a few weeks and I wasn't going to say anything but now she's getting fresh and it's not good for Chumley considering he's still a recovering sex addict. She's toying with his emotions and you need to intervene.

Here are the last 2 she sent:

to: Chumley
from: Beverly
date: May 7, 2008 2:34am
------------------------------------
Hello Hot Stuff,
Spring is here and I'm ready for some fun in the sun. Look at how sexy I am in my yellow bikini. I know you'd like to see what's underneath wouldn't you??? I have six nipples.
Lustfully,
Bev


(and this is the one that sent him into a bear humping frenzy)

to: Chumley
from: Beverly
date: May 10, 2008 4:47am
-------------------------------------
Hello Sex Kitten,
I just had a bath and am squeaky clean but I'm still a dirty girl if you know what I mean. How 'bout you come over and pull my tail?? But be warned sometimes that makes me poo.
I'm waiting...
Bev

As you can see this is getting out of hand. Please let me know how you're going to handle this.

Laura

interesting

What I'm reading about online right now...

stools

Don't ask.

When I got to #11 my gag reflex kicked in full force and I threw up a little cottage cheese.

Though I really like this site. I think the first sentence had me hooked: "If you are looking for a Poop Group, somewhere to ask questions about interesting body by-products, you can go here http://groups.yahoo.com/group/enzymesandautism".

I'm sure Moog is an active member (or co-founder).

And did you know there exists a medical condition called leaky gut?

I'm also curious as to how one becomes a "stool detective". I'm going to start submitting some personal notes to this site in hopes of becoming one myself. Could you even imagine? "2008 Stool Detective" and "Roomba Advisory Board Member"? I can't get ahead of myself here. Baby steps.

question

Do you think Donny and Marie are as cheezy in real life as they come across on TV? I'm totally serious. Watching them interact makes me cringe with embarrassment. How the hell were they so popular in the 70's and 80's? Makes me question our society's frame of mind back then.

I was watching them host America's Favorite Mom tonight on NBC and they are both off their rockers. Or maybe they need to be in rockers. Regardless, they are stale.

And what was up with that one woman who was reunited with her husband from Haiti??? Emotional, yes. But the noises she was making were not human. She seriously sounded like those honking chickens (at 10 seconds into the clip).

Solar Powered Dorks

The evening news just featured a segment on a family that gets around town in this solar powered contraption. Of course they live in Southern California. I understand their cost-efficient-eco-friendly reasons for inventing such a thing, but if I ever see them tooling around town, they will be egged.

Btw, how sad is it when you're driving past a gas station that sells premium for $4.07 and you say to yourself out loud, "Oh piss! I should have gotten gas there and saved a few bucks."

Tug o' War

Wrigley and his cousin Chloe tugging on a dish towel. Looks like a Taffy pull. Wrigley outweighs Chloe by approx. 70 pounds but sometimes he lets her win. He's a gentleman.

***Update***
I woke up this morning to find Wrigley sitting in front of the computer sobbing uncontrollably. He couldn't even get out the words to tell me why. Instead he just paw pointed to the comment below. Thanks Karyn (or was this Beverly??) for kicking off Mother's Day with a bang.

Look at the sad sweet noodle face...

meet the rabbits

Happy Mother's Day you crazy freak of nature.

Another one...

Tom and I went out to dinner with our moms tonight and as were looking over the menu my mom says, "I might order fish tonight. The Maui Maui sounds good."

She's here til Wednesday so I'm sure they'll be more.

what does this mean?

I had a terrible dream last night. John McCain was elected president. To some, that in and of itself is nightmare worthy but that's not the worst of it. Our country went to war with each other. It was like the LA riots of '92 but it was nationwide. There were horrific acts of violence amongst blacks and whites, men and women and children against children. Unspeakable terror was happening in our schools, streets and very own homes. I hate when dreams like this cause you to wake up in a cold sweat and even though awake, you're still panicked, feeling fuzzy in your own reality.

Another part of the dream was during McCain's acceptance speech he announced that his first priority was to reduce the cost of potatoes in this country. He was adamant in his delivery and pounded the podium with every word, "Every American should have the means to buy potatoes at a fair price!" and the crowd went wild.

I guess you could say I'm a wee bit nervous for November.

Carnation Breakfast Bars & the Colon of Joy

Thanks to Joe*to*hell, for sending me a link to make Carnation Breakfast bars at home.

And take a few moments to browse around Joe's blog. You'll find some interesting things such as this. How perfect is the "Colon of Joy" pin??? I will wear mine with pride. I also really dig the Uterus Cameo. What a great gift idea for Mother's Day.


And now for the recipe:

Carnation Breakfast Bars (compliments of Budget 101.com)

1 Cup Spanish Peanuts (Peeled and Crushed to a near powder)
1 Cup Rolled Toasted Oats (I had to use Granola for lack of toasted oats)
1 Cup Rice crispies
½ Cup Miniature chocolate chips
1/3 Cup Light Karo Syrup.
24 - 36 Oz. Milk Chocolate

Combine all dry ingredients and mix thoroughly. Add Karo Syrup

(though it is possible to pack the ingredients without this) Line a small

pan with wax paper and PACK the mixture FIRMLY into pan. Melt 12 oz

of the chocolate and spread over top of mixture and refrigerate till

firm (at least one hour)

Dog, cat, rat

I received this via e-mail this morning...

"This is a video of a homeless man in Santa Barbara and his pets. They work State Street every week for donations. The animals are pretty well fed and are mellow. They are a family. The man who owns them rigged a harness up for his cat so she wouldn't have to walk so much (like the dog and himself). At some juncture the rat came along, and so no one wanted to eat anyone else, the rat started riding with the cat and often, on the cat. The dog will stand all day and let you talk to him and admire him for a few chin scratches. The mayor of Santa Barbara filmed this clip and sent it out as a Christmas card."

DOG CAT RAT

We can all learn a little something from these guys.

killing time

Tom and his mom (who is also in town this weekend) have been out since noon shopping for my anniversary gift. Tom won't tell me anything other than the fact that he needed my car to pick it up (his car is a 2 seater) and that the 10 year gift is supposed to be aluminum. He better not get me a set of golf clubs. And so help me GOD if he comes home with the Scooba. He'll get divorce papers for his anniversary present.

I also know that he's been shopping in Old Town Orange though he may have just told me that to throw me off. Here's a pic of me in Orange next to my bike.

I'm kidding, that's not my bike. There's a woman who rides this bike around the circle in town with a baby doll in the basket. When she parks the bike she carries the doll with her wherever she goes. It's fascinating. I'm bored.

Someone's Bored

Look how he blends into the floor.

I was eating Strawberry Pop rocks and Wrigs started sniffing my mouth and wagging his tail. He was fascinated by the pops and sizzles. So I poured a little into the palm of my hand and let him take a lick. He was soooo gentle and when he got a bunch on his tongue he kept licking and then the popping started! It was so cute! He barked and tap danced for more but I didn't want him to get a tummy ache (like his momma). I'm lovin' on him now (still having e-mail issues) and I'm kissing his paws even though they smell like Doritos.

Electronics Melt Down

I'm having serious computer issues today and I'm about to blow my wad. I'm working from home and need to send out about 40 emails by end of day and my fricking mail server keeps timing out and then shutting down the mail program. Always, always, always when I have time sensitive work that needs to be done.

I'm also having trouble with my internet browser, Safari. I can't pull up many of the blogs I read and those that I can pull up I can't comment on so I switched over to Firefox and that worked eventually but it would take what felt like minutes for each page to load. Don't have the patience for that right now. Or probably ever.

And if I even attempt to use Instant Messenger the machine starts to whiz and after 5 minutes I end up with burns to my legs.

I've emptied the cache and tossed all my cookies and nothing seems to help.

My stupid cell phone has been acting up too. The phone itself was nasty dirty so I used some Green works spray on a paper towel to scrub it clean and I was careful not to get drops of liquid into any buttons or crevices. But since then it feels like it's on a delay mode, every key function and corresponding screen shot is a second or two behind. That's just stupid. From now on I'll clean it the old fashioned way and see if that helps.

Should I even mention the Roomba??? Hell why not. I'm beginning to think Tom and our Roomba have an inappropriate relationship. Tom is overly sensitive about the Roomba when I go on my tirades. He will defend it and say things like, "You just sit there and watch it get stuck, you don't help prevent it from happening." Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the point of having a Roomba, the freedom it allows you to do other things while it vacuums? If I have to watch it spin in circles and chase it around the house like a wild toddler I'd rather grab the Oreck and do it myself. At least I'd get a work out. How great would it be if the Oreck could suck up the Roomba? By the way, this girl's having way too much fun vacuuming. She needs a kick in the head.

Tom also let me know that I shouldn't overwork the Roomba and that I should charge it before it runs out of juice. Yesterday while Roomba-ing the family room it stopped and did its 2 beep thing and Tom rushed to its aid and pushed the button and surprise surprise, it's time to "Remove and Clean Roomba's brushes." He happily carried it into the laundry room and cleaned it all up and instead of putting it back on the floor to finish the job he set it in front of the docking station and hit the "dock" button and said, "Ok find your home. We'll give you a rest for a while." That's not right.

I'm waiting for the day he comes home wearing a t-shirt like this:

It's obvious our backyard is not child proof

(click photo to enlarge and see facial expressions. God forbid Tom puts his beer down and actually tries to save the kids from smacking into the cement. photo taken at Wrigley's birthday extravaganza.)

Cherry On Top Yogurt

It's great stuff but seriously- must they post all of these health facts?? #6 makes me gag and #5 isn't much better (the pic cut off intestinal "infection"). I'm not liking the visuals that dance in my head as I'm trying to swallow a mouthful of vanilla custard yogurt topped with chewy mochi balls.


p.s. as I'm sitting on the pot I get this e-mail:

The subject line made me chuckle. Like I need any help flushing.

Light Chocolate Soy Milk

Could this be the answer I've been waiting for from the depths of my bowels??? I don't want to jinx anything but this morning at approximately 8:03 am I poured myself a big tall glass of Light Chocolate Soy Milk and here I am 5 hours and 13 minutes later and I've yet to have a bathroom emergency.

***update*** 2:00 on the dot, my luck ran out. And, I'm at the office which is always a treat when pulic restrooms are involved. I am seriously going to buy stock in Tums.

real quick...

My mom was checking her voice mail messages on her cell phone and I asked her if she saves or deletes her messages after she listens to them. She said she usually deletes them unless it’s a message from me or my sister, in which case she saves them to the Archides Folder.

Fun at Work

The company where I'm consulting shares office space with a promotional company that manufactures toys for cereal boxes and fast food chains. Each hallway is filled with shelves that display all sorts of little characters they've created over the years.

So of course, I can't pass up an opportunity to have a little fun...

My friend Carol and I take turns putting the creatures into certain positions and then rush through the halls to find each others obscene poses. I took some pics with my camera phone...

                                                        Ride 'em Cowboy

I was on my way to the bathroom when I found this scene and almost pissed my pants...

                                                        Smiling Bear

                                                   This one cracks me up!

                                                   This one creeps me out!
                                                   

                                        The hunch back is popular around here...

                                      Lara Croft and Crash Bandicoot. Who knew?

                                                      Boob Grab...

                                     Another beast has joined the party...

So I guess you could say it's been a slow week.

List of the day Blog

You must check out Photobombers
and Graphs of the Day

Mom-isms

Again more mom-isms to share...

My mom and sister spent the night with me last night and we slept in a little late. This morning at breakfast my sister says, "Oh I think I missed Ashton Kutcher on Regis and Kelly this morning." My mom says, "I watched part of it when the Bare Breasted Women were on." My sister and I start cracking up and ask, "WHO?!?" She says, "That music band I know you've heard of them." We think for a minute and then say at the same time, "You mean the Bare Naked Ladies???" My mom says, "Yes, isn't that what I said?"

Then here's a gem my sister shared at the breakfast table from the other night. My mom asked her in all seriousness while they were watching something on TV, "If you wanted to Tibo something could you put it on YouToo??" My sister couldn't even answer the question, she was laughing so hard. But I will give my mom some credit on this one. That's a pretty good question!

And while we were on the subject my sister also shared a Baba-ism (Baba is our 92 year old grandmother on my Dad's side). She and Baba were talking about Baba's old neighborhood in Connecticut and Baba asked her if she remembered a specific person who lived down the street. She asked, "Does that name ring a doorbell?"

I'm sure I'll be adding to this list as the week continues.

(previous Mom-isms from an old post)
We hired a contractor to do some work on our side yard and he goes by the name of Concrete Dave (he specializes in concrete walls). So today my mom wanted to know if everything was finished and asked, "Is Cement Sam coming back to do more work in the yard?"

She was visiting family in Pittsburgh and she called my cousin Emma's i-pod a bluebird. Of course my cousin had to text me this one right away, and we're both cracking up via text (which by the way my mom calls a "tek" message. Now if she means tech message than that's pretty impressive but I think she thinks it's tek with a "k". I don't even correct her on this anymore.) So again today only minutes between the Cement Sam comment, I asked my mom, "How the heck could you mistake the i-pod for a bluebird?? That's not even close!" And then she tells me, "Ohhh wait a second, no, no...the bluebird is not the i-pod that plays music, you're right. I'm talking about the bluebird that Tom has, you know...that THING I'm talking about!?!? It's like a cell phone but he can e-mail from it, tek message, you know????" I then say, "Um, do you mean a Blackberry?" And then she gets all excited and says proudly, "Yes! That's the one. See? I knew what I was talking about!" I guess she did, sort of.

(some more oldies)
"Are you going to tibo The Office tonight?"

"I love reading the stories about Wrigley and Chumley on your blob."

"Don't forget to watch Dancing on the Stars tonight. Julio Iglesias will be on." (this one's a gem 'cuz it's a double whammy - of course she means Enrique!)

One of my favorite Mom-isms happened several years ago when she was Christmas shopping for my husband and ex-brother-in-law. She went to Toys R Us to be placed on a waiting list for two Play Station II systems. Once they finally came in she went to pick them up, waited in a LONG line at the service counter and when it was her turn she handed over her claim ticket and said, "I'm here to pick up Two Play Boys." That was the same year she bought Tom Grand Theft Auto, thinking it was just a car racing game. Gotta love that!

I could go on with these but I'm not sure my mom would be happy about that. This is just one of the many things that we all love about her. And Mom, if you happen to read this entry on my blob, please don't be mad, ok? I love you!!!

Answer me this

***SHEET MYSTERY SOLVED***
My mom actually found the sheets around midnight last night in the guest closet put way up high on a shelf. Why were they put so high up? Because Chumley likes to pee on them. Tom made sure that until we are ready to put fresh sheets on the bed, we must hide them behind a closed door, up high. Oh how I love this cat.

***

How does one lose an entire set of sheets and pillow cases??? I have searched every nook and cranny of this blasted house and for the life of me can't find my pretty soft yellow sheets for the guest bed!!! The entire set right down to both pillow cases is GONE. I'm at a loss. Where the hell could they be???? I've checked the dryer, laundry baskets, beds (just in case I might have been drunk and double sheeted the bed) and no luck. This is quite a mystery.

***update: 10:26pm: I just remembered that period of time (which was maybe 2 weeks) when our dryer was broken, I had to hang dry everything outside. Maybe I hung dry these sheets and they blew away or were stolen?!?!

Abba Zaba

We went to a 70's themed party over the weekend and for the first time I tried Abba Zaba candy and holy dooly the candy Gods hit the jackpot with this one! Seriously probably the BEST tasting candy I've ever had. Just make sure you have proper dental coverage because I'm certain this stuff will pull out a tooth or two.

You know what else I've been snacking on that is quite good? Storck Riesen chocolate candy coupled with a mouthful of butter snaps. Pure bliss.

+


=

Tom

If it wasn't for that guy in the picture, I really don't know where I'd be. Yes he makes me crazy with his golf obsession, yes he leaves his shoes everywhere, yes he can be a grumpy guy from time to time and believe me we've had our share of what I will politely refer to as "disconnects" but as we are approaching our 10 year wedding anniversary, I've never felt more in love with him than I do right this very moment.

In honor of our upcoming anniversary, I'd like to share our first dance song from our wedding. We had the Jeffrey Osbourne version which I couldn't find on youtube, but it's really the lyrics that hit us both the first time we heard it and realized it was the perfect song. And now when we listen to it after 10 years these words take on a much deeper meaning and are filled with our own irreplaceable history.

By the way, Tom already told me what he's getting me for this blessed event. A 6 roll toilet paper dispenser similar to this but hopefully not in the shape of a cross. That would be sac religious. He also mentioned that he's looking into the i-robot Scoobas. I told him not to even joke about such an atrocity unless he wants his wife to end up rocking and drooling in the corner of a padded cell. He actually had to think about this for a minute.

But, he did say if we make it another 10 years he'll turn our guest bath into my personal home office. No doubt, I'm sticking around.

Google words

The best google search words ever to lead to my blog (click to enlarge)

In need of a state fair

“If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.”
-Jeff Foxworthy

I've been doing a lot of brain purging in my non public diary but for some reason I don't experience that same feeling of release and relief as I do here when I hit "publish post."

So perhaps I'll take this down in a bit but I just need to get some thoughts out of my head and hit that button so I can move on.

-Sometimes I don't like the person I become around people very close to me. I try not to allow those sides to come out but it's hard when you feel yourself sucked back into a history of dysfunction. The thing that is so frustrating is that we all have the ability to control what we choose to show to the outside world so why can't I control these ugly sides? Why is it only certain people bring out these sides that can lay dormant for months or even years but yet can resurface in a split second once tapped? It makes me feel rotten inside and I guess I just need to suck it up and compromise who I am in order to maintain a level of peace.

That's all for now.

I also hate sounding like a Debbie Downer so let me end on something light. Here's one of my favorite Debbie Downer episodes on SNL. Gotta love live TV. See if you can watch the whole thing without cracking a smile.

My favorite guitar song

I can't remember if I posted this before or not, but this is the song I'm learning to play on the guitar. All I know how to play right now is the first 21 seconds but I'll get there. Gotta get ready for our party now even though I'm still feeling glum.

Race Day

OMG OMG. I can't even believe what happened to Eight Belles. I am just sick right now. Poor sweet baby horse. I feel sick to my stomach. I don't like horse racing anymore. Rest in peace you beautiful amazing athlete. I can't stop crying.

*** 3:19pm Congratulations Big Brown, but what happened to #5 that is lying in the middle of the track!?!?!?! I pray that she's going to be ok.***

**Update 3:06pm: I just tripped walking up a flight of 2 stairs.***

I'm not even 1/3 of the way finished with my Mint Julep and I'm already feeling wiggly. I tend to long pour the bourbon. Tom's sipping his Julep with intensity as he's ever so anxious for the race to begin. He's got his lap top on his lap as he does some last minute "research" on the athletes. I made mini sandwiches for us to snack on and he said he's too nervous to eat. I'm starting to wonder if that "research" he's doing has anything to do with on-line betting.

It's just the two of us this year at our Derby party (4 if you count the animals) and I really need to stop with the Julep sips because we have a surprise birthday party to attend tonight and I need to be in the shower no later than 4:30. It's a 70's themed party and Tom and I are going as Jack and Chrissy from Three's Company. Seriously I'm buzzing. I'm not even half way finished with my first class.

We're watching the pre-race interviews and stupid Heidi and Spencer from The Hills were just on. Are you serious?? Why must I see these 2 people on every channel on television???

I need to stop sippin my Julep through the straw. All I've been drinking is straight bourbon.

Animal Idol

Kinda long but still cute.
Animal Idol

The Coble Family

If you don't believe in miracles, I ask you to please read this story.
Congratulations to Chris and Lori and welcome to the world Ashley, Ellie and Jake! I'll be looking for the triple wide stroller in town!!

Wrigley's New Collar

Grammy's in town and got Wrig's a fancy new collar. He loves it. See how he's modeling it in the pic?? It's got sort of a Rasta theme and ever since we put it on him he's been using phrases like, "Hey Mon" and "Pass the pipe." He's been spending too much time with Chumley.

Mint Julep Memories

Today is the Kentucky Derby. Brings back some rather unpleasant memories of one of my first dates with Tom. He had planned a surprise overnight getaway to the Derby which was sweet because he knew I loved horses. I had never been before and of course I imagined it similar to the movie Pretty Woman, where everyone's dressed in fancy dresses and wide brimmed hats. I'm not a fancy-dress-wide-brimmed kinda gal but I wore a cute sun dress and spent quite a while fussing with my naturally curly hair so it looked smooth and pretty. Remember this was one of our early dates so I actually put a lot of effort into looking nice. Little did I know our tickets were in the in-field aka: sweaty drunken, cesspool of in-breeding (I'm kidding about that but there were a LOT of drunks.) Within 5 minutes of staking out our spot in the muddy lawn, a fat naked man slipped off his make shift slip and slide and slammed into the people next to us sending their beers into my face and hair. (very similar to this but be warned there's some foul language in this clip.)

I tried so hard to keep it together but I couldn't. I wanted Tom to think I could hang and be cool with all the sweat and mud and smells but there was no hiding it, I was miserable. And I think he realized early on that this was NOT my cup of tea. He helped me dry off as best he could but I was sticky and smelled like warm beer and a little pee too. When I looked in my compact (of course I brought my cute crocheted purse which absorbed beer like a sponge) the hair that I had spent close to an hour straightening sleek and glossy now made me look like a side show freak. Part of one side was still somewhat straight but the other was a hot mess of frizz and beer soaked curls. And that's when I lost it. I started to pack up my stuff and asked Tom for the car keys. He said there's no way he's letting me leave and I told him that I was just going to sit in the car until this frat party's over. He said "No way Jose!" and I responded with something equally as mature like, "You're not the boss of me!" and got up and walked away. He followed after, pleading for me to "give this another try" (to which I ignored him) and then, "we'll sit somewhere else" (again I ignored and kept on walking) and then finally, "have you ever tried a mint julep?" (pause) "Come again?" And the rest is history.

After a couple of juleps, fat naked man wasn't the only one slamming into people off the slip and slide. Good times.

So in memory of that fine day in May of 1996, here's a classic Mint Julep recipe for you all to enjoy. Just don't hold me responsible for whatever it is you enjoy doing after a couple of these...

Happy Derby Day!!!

Classic Mint Julep
Ingredients
1 lemon, rinsed
About 2 teaspoons sugar
5 fresh mint sprigs (3 to 5 in.), rinsed and drained
About 1 1/2 cups crushed or shaved ice
1/4 cup bourbon
About 2 tablespoons club soda
Preparation
1. With a vegetable peeler or a sharp knife, pare a 2-inch strip of peel (yellow part only) from the lemon, then cut into long, thin shreds. Cut lemon in half and rub 1 cut side on the rim of a glass (10 to 12 oz.) to moisten; save lemon for other uses. Pour 2 teaspoons sugar on a small plate and dip moist glass rim in it to coat evenly, then pour sugar into glass.
2. Add 4 mint sprigs to glass. With a wood spoon, crush mint sprigs with sugar to bruise the leaves and release the herb's flavor. Fill glass with ice. Add bourbon, then fill to rim with club soda. Let stand until glass is frosty, about 2 minutes. Garnish with lemon peel and remaining mint sprig. Sip julep through a straw, adding more sugar to taste.

Yield
Makes 1 serving

Nutritional Information
CALORIES 182(1% from fat); FAT 0.2g (sat 0.0g); PROTEIN 0.8g; CHOLESTEROL 0.0mg; SODIUM 14mg; FIBER 1.6g; CARBOHYDRATE 11g

Update on DIY project

I never posted the "after" pics for this project so I'll do that now.

Sanded down table (before the crackle paint)


First coat of crackle paint (turned out too barnyard Red so we (Tom) ended up rubbing dark stain with a rag over the crackle paint)


Finished Product (matches the color of the picture perfectly!)


We have soooo much red crackley paint left that I hate to waste so I'm sizing up other items in the house that can be crackled. So far I've got an old mirror, some picture frames and a few flower pots. Yep, I'm really living on the edge over here.

Ahhh to be young again...

This would have saved me countless "Walk of Shame" mornings.
Check it out.

Cats that look like Wilford Brimley

Click here.

Fearless Flyer Friday

It's quite an event in this household when we receive Trader Joe's Fearless Flyer in the mail. I'm usually the one who brings in the mail and when I see that Flyer sitting amongst our bills and junk mail I jump for joy. I'll rush back into the house and wave the flyer above my head shouting Paul Revere style, "The Flyer is here! The Flyer is here!" Tom will acknowledge my excitement with a nod and say, "Ok, ok, just settle down." It's the same thing every time. We're such predictable nerds.

Last night Tom brought in the mail and what does he do as he comes through the front door??? He shouts in this whiny voice he uses to imitate me, "The flyer is here! The flyer is here!" as he's flailing it back and forth. He looked ridiculous. I'm sure that's not how I look when I announce the flyer's arrival.

I don't just rush through the flyer. Like I said, it's an event. I set aside some time, about 20 minutes and if it's in the evening I'll sit quietly with my flyer (no distractions), pen in one hand, wine in the other and go to town circling the usual must haves and starring the never before seen "must try" items. It's also fantastic reading material for the bathroom.

But for now, I just made an iced green tea latte and I'm heading outside with my flyer and pen to sit in the warmth of the sun for a bit.

Happy Friday!

Oh how I love it when...

...I pour myself a big bowl of cereal and sticking straight up atop my spoonful of granola is a giant strand of Chumley fur. Thankfully I saw it before I swallowed - where it would have remain lodged in my esophagus the rest of the day - but usually I'm not so lucky. That's the last time I wear fleece when eating out of the box. Perhaps it's time to give Chum a hair cut. I'm thinking he might look smashing in this style. (that poor cat looks like he's trying to give the middle paw pad.)

Lack of Sleep...

...makes me tired.