Thursday, November 19, 2009
Oprah's Favorite Things Parody
I have been looking for this video forever online and thanks to this blog I found it! It makes me laugh soooo hard. Hope you all enjoy it too. Thank you KayCaskey!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
momism
My mom says to me on the phone: "Did you hear that Banks Beetle is going out of business?"
My brain goes into overdrive quickly trying to scan company names that sound even remotely close: Birkenstock? L.L. Bean?? Bank of America?? BEETLEJUICE!?!? I GIVE UP.
me: "What kind of store is it?"
mom: "You know, they sell jewelry."
me: "Ohhh, Bailey Banks and Biddle."
mom: "Right. They're going out of business."
Then later in the conversation she warned me to avoid buying precious gems or stones at Macy's because they are fakes. Good thing she caught me in time because I was just on my way out to buy myself a ruby tennis bracelet.
My brain goes into overdrive quickly trying to scan company names that sound even remotely close: Birkenstock? L.L. Bean?? Bank of America?? BEETLEJUICE!?!? I GIVE UP.
me: "What kind of store is it?"
mom: "You know, they sell jewelry."
me: "Ohhh, Bailey Banks and Biddle."
mom: "Right. They're going out of business."
Then later in the conversation she warned me to avoid buying precious gems or stones at Macy's because they are fakes. Good thing she caught me in time because I was just on my way out to buy myself a ruby tennis bracelet.
compromise
So typically on the weekends a trip to Home Depot or Lowe's is involved. I used to wait in the car when Tom would say, "It'll be quick, just need to pick up one thing." But I've learned my lesson. There is never just one thing. So I'll go in with him and within seconds, he's off in a million directions. I usually wander the seasonal aisles or hang around in light fixtures and tell him to meet me in one of those places when he's done. Or if we have Wrigs with us I take him to the door section and we open every door, even the sliders and walk through them together. Wrigs LOVES it. It's funny because one time when Tom was looking for us, he went looking in the doors section and asked the guy sitting there if he'd seen a woman and dog going in and out of these doors and the man said "Yes, why do they do that?" (THEY makes me laugh, like this was all Wrigs idea) and Tom replied that "we're just training our dog." (Yes, because our dog needs training on how to walk in and out of a door. So stupid! But still, we will continue to do it.)
Anyway, so when we're at Home Depot inevitably Tom and I can't find each other. This happens ALL THE TIME. I'll try his cell, he will have left it in the car. So my last resort is paging him and he HATES it. But I get so frustrated that I almost enjoy doing it because it pisses him off so much. As soon as Tom hears his name over the loud speaker, I'll see him appear in the distance and the look on his face is PURE EVIL. He seriously wants to kill me. Then I get pissed because he's so pissed and then a verbal exchange ensues that goes something like this...
TOM: Why do you DO that?? I told you where I was going to be!?!
ME: I looked for you everywhere. Obviously you weren't in ONE spot, look at all the crap you have in the cart.
TOM: Well, I need this stuff. It's all for the same project.
ME: Whatever, I hate this place.
TOM: I'm sick of you paging me.
ME: I'm sick of you wandering off like a lost child.
TOM: You're the one wandering off! Why don't you stay with me instead of walking through 25 doors all the time!?
ME: Because that's just what I do.
So yesterday Tom came with me on some errand running. I had to go to Michael's and Joann Fabrics. He didn't realize we were going to hit both stores so after Michael's I said "OH I just have to stop at Joann's while we're here" and he got all flustered and was like, "How long is this going to take?? What do you need? Why didn't you get it all at Michaels???" I explained to him that these are two different stores much like Lowe's and Home Depot and also reminded him that there have been times we have stopped at BOTH Lowe's and Home Depot and even ACE hardware all in the same day and that finally shut him up. Our relationship is based on so much compromise which is good but it's like we have a running tally of who does what and when. It'll be like, "Ok you can have golf on for one hour if you clean out the litter boxes and empty the dust buster." Or "If you scratch my back for 20 minutes, I'll help you rake leaves." Stuff like that.
Anyway, while in Joann's, I realized that I do the same thing he does to me when we're in his type of stores. I get so overwhelmed once inside and even though I have a list of things I need to get, I can't focus on a single thing because my sensory overload has kicked into high gear and I'm off running around like a wild banshee, leaving Tom in my wake. And I completely lose all track of time.
Yesterday all we needed to get was garland and lights, that was it. But somehow I ended up in the back of the store in the knitting supply aisles and was probably there for about 10 minutes or so having a conversation with a fellow knitter about graduated color yarns and color blocks of yarn and the difference in their look depending on what you're knitting. As we're chatting, I see a figure run past the aisle and then two seconds later back up and of course it's Tom and he's just standing at the end of the aisle staring at me. I bid my farewell to the knitter and throw some yarn in my cart. Our exchange:
TOM: How does THIS (pointing to the yarns) have anything to do with the garland and lights you needed??
ME: You're one to talk. You go to Home Depot for tub caulk and come home with a Leaf Blower.
He picks up my big wad of chunky purple yarn and drop kicks it high into the air then catches it and dangles it above my head. I pretend to kick towards his privates and now we are full on wrestling, swinging and chasing each other around the yarn aisles at Joann fabrics. Now Tom and I will say things to each other that sound really bad but they are totally in fun. So as we're acting like idiots with the yarn he says, "I'm going to tie you up with this and roll you down the hill side." I start laughing and grab some knitting needles and slap his ass with them. I tell him I'm going to knit his lips shut so I never have to hear him squawk again and he tells me he's going to chop me up into little pieces and flush me down the toilet. And all the while the little knitter I was chatting with just moments before stands quietly to the side watching us in horror.
Anyway, so when we're at Home Depot inevitably Tom and I can't find each other. This happens ALL THE TIME. I'll try his cell, he will have left it in the car. So my last resort is paging him and he HATES it. But I get so frustrated that I almost enjoy doing it because it pisses him off so much. As soon as Tom hears his name over the loud speaker, I'll see him appear in the distance and the look on his face is PURE EVIL. He seriously wants to kill me. Then I get pissed because he's so pissed and then a verbal exchange ensues that goes something like this...
TOM: Why do you DO that?? I told you where I was going to be!?!
ME: I looked for you everywhere. Obviously you weren't in ONE spot, look at all the crap you have in the cart.
TOM: Well, I need this stuff. It's all for the same project.
ME: Whatever, I hate this place.
TOM: I'm sick of you paging me.
ME: I'm sick of you wandering off like a lost child.
TOM: You're the one wandering off! Why don't you stay with me instead of walking through 25 doors all the time!?
ME: Because that's just what I do.
So yesterday Tom came with me on some errand running. I had to go to Michael's and Joann Fabrics. He didn't realize we were going to hit both stores so after Michael's I said "OH I just have to stop at Joann's while we're here" and he got all flustered and was like, "How long is this going to take?? What do you need? Why didn't you get it all at Michaels???" I explained to him that these are two different stores much like Lowe's and Home Depot and also reminded him that there have been times we have stopped at BOTH Lowe's and Home Depot and even ACE hardware all in the same day and that finally shut him up. Our relationship is based on so much compromise which is good but it's like we have a running tally of who does what and when. It'll be like, "Ok you can have golf on for one hour if you clean out the litter boxes and empty the dust buster." Or "If you scratch my back for 20 minutes, I'll help you rake leaves." Stuff like that.
Anyway, while in Joann's, I realized that I do the same thing he does to me when we're in his type of stores. I get so overwhelmed once inside and even though I have a list of things I need to get, I can't focus on a single thing because my sensory overload has kicked into high gear and I'm off running around like a wild banshee, leaving Tom in my wake. And I completely lose all track of time.
Yesterday all we needed to get was garland and lights, that was it. But somehow I ended up in the back of the store in the knitting supply aisles and was probably there for about 10 minutes or so having a conversation with a fellow knitter about graduated color yarns and color blocks of yarn and the difference in their look depending on what you're knitting. As we're chatting, I see a figure run past the aisle and then two seconds later back up and of course it's Tom and he's just standing at the end of the aisle staring at me. I bid my farewell to the knitter and throw some yarn in my cart. Our exchange:
TOM: How does THIS (pointing to the yarns) have anything to do with the garland and lights you needed??
ME: You're one to talk. You go to Home Depot for tub caulk and come home with a Leaf Blower.
He picks up my big wad of chunky purple yarn and drop kicks it high into the air then catches it and dangles it above my head. I pretend to kick towards his privates and now we are full on wrestling, swinging and chasing each other around the yarn aisles at Joann fabrics. Now Tom and I will say things to each other that sound really bad but they are totally in fun. So as we're acting like idiots with the yarn he says, "I'm going to tie you up with this and roll you down the hill side." I start laughing and grab some knitting needles and slap his ass with them. I tell him I'm going to knit his lips shut so I never have to hear him squawk again and he tells me he's going to chop me up into little pieces and flush me down the toilet. And all the while the little knitter I was chatting with just moments before stands quietly to the side watching us in horror.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Perspective
I think about those who are fighting in this war, risking their lives, losing their sanity, not knowing if they will ever see their families again. Then I think about their families, wrought with worry, so helpless to keep their loved ones safe from the harm that can strike at any minute. But yet, full of hope that they will return to their home, safely...where they belong.
Then I see someone at the local coffee shop, furiously upset at the barrista because her latte tastes "too bitter".
And I think, perspective.
Then, I think, maybe this is the wife of some soldier on his 4th tour, fighting for our freedoms, HER freedom to complain openly and loudly that her latte is not to her liking, and maybe she is at the end of her rope distraught from the constant fear of possibly never seeing her husband again, having to raise her 5 out of control children alone, and maybe...maybe she is not well? Maybe she is terminally ill and after months and months of horrifying treatments she is finally able to enjoy this one small cup of coffee and when she finally clutches it in her hands and holds it up to her nose, she delights in the aroma..."Oh how I've missed thee!", she thinks to herself. And then she takes that first sip and...
...goes bat shit crazy.
I'm not saying I wish these horrible circumstances upon this woman, but I just hope that people take the time to be grateful for the blessings and freedoms we have that so many others will never get to experience.
Our troops are out there fighting and dying every single day. Innocent people are also dying along with them. Right now as we sit in the comforts of our warm homes and tap into our computers to read blogs, or write emails or share photos with friends on facebook, people are struggling, suffering, dying.
I wish I had the courage to say that to woman at the coffee shop, but I didn't. I don't know her story and really- who am I to tell someone to shut the F up when I tend to bitch and moan about less important things too? We all do, but it doesn't mean that we don't acknowledge the sacrifices others make for the freedoms we have in this country.
So let's not take them for granted.
That's all I'm saying.
Then I see someone at the local coffee shop, furiously upset at the barrista because her latte tastes "too bitter".
And I think, perspective.
Then, I think, maybe this is the wife of some soldier on his 4th tour, fighting for our freedoms, HER freedom to complain openly and loudly that her latte is not to her liking, and maybe she is at the end of her rope distraught from the constant fear of possibly never seeing her husband again, having to raise her 5 out of control children alone, and maybe...maybe she is not well? Maybe she is terminally ill and after months and months of horrifying treatments she is finally able to enjoy this one small cup of coffee and when she finally clutches it in her hands and holds it up to her nose, she delights in the aroma..."Oh how I've missed thee!", she thinks to herself. And then she takes that first sip and...
...goes bat shit crazy.
I'm not saying I wish these horrible circumstances upon this woman, but I just hope that people take the time to be grateful for the blessings and freedoms we have that so many others will never get to experience.
Our troops are out there fighting and dying every single day. Innocent people are also dying along with them. Right now as we sit in the comforts of our warm homes and tap into our computers to read blogs, or write emails or share photos with friends on facebook, people are struggling, suffering, dying.
I wish I had the courage to say that to woman at the coffee shop, but I didn't. I don't know her story and really- who am I to tell someone to shut the F up when I tend to bitch and moan about less important things too? We all do, but it doesn't mean that we don't acknowledge the sacrifices others make for the freedoms we have in this country.
So let's not take them for granted.
That's all I'm saying.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Chumley enjoying some broccoli
I haven't posted any videos in soooo long so I figured I would share this little clip of Chum enjoying one of his favorite treats.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
This time last year...
We were renting a cold house, didn't know many people, and were pretty miserable (ok I was pretty miserable)
Now, we are still in a cold house (our heat broke) but, I have soooo many blessings to be thankful for.
It's even rainy and crappy as crap today but what a difference a year makes.
We have met some amazing people who have warmly welcomed us into their lives and I feel so blessed to have formed these friendships that will carry us through a lifetime.
Getting involved in the community has helped too. I've been volunteering since June at the Senior Center, teaching internet and email classes to the seniors in the community. I'm now going to start working there in January, teaching a Creative Writing/Poetry class which I'm really excited about. Was supposed to start in November but they just got new computers so alas...2 more months of computer classes. God, give me patience. But really, I do love it and the "students" have enriched my life in ways I never thought possible.
I'm also freelancing on a couple projects which is another great outlet for staying current in the business world and also maintaining contacts in the tv/film industry. Again I have been very blessed and am grateful to the people who have not given up on me, even though I am no longer living in S. Cal.
My mom had a health scare about a month ago, and thankfully she is doing well. She has now been diagnosed with Diabetes and has to completely change her eating habits but this was another blessing because had she not had the emergency surgery on her intestines, we would have never known about the diabetes. Her doctor just gave her the OK to come out and visit us for Thanksgiving as well as my birthday and we are very happy about this. Tom's mom will be out here too and Tom is running the Seattle marathon on Nov. 29th and we will be there to cheer him on! He ran the Chicago marathon 10 years ago so his mission is to beat his time and qualify for Boston. One minor thing he needs to realize...Seattle has HILLS!!
Anyway, I just wanted to stop and count my blessings today. I'm sitting here, by the fire (since there's no heat), watching the leaves blow and the waves flow to the shore. I've got Wrigs to my right and Chum atop one of the shower curtain covered chairs to my left and right now, life...is really good.
Take care and think about the blessings in your life too.
xoxo
(starting to knit some holiday gifts too. this is Little Blue Bear)
Now, we are still in a cold house (our heat broke) but, I have soooo many blessings to be thankful for.
It's even rainy and crappy as crap today but what a difference a year makes.
We have met some amazing people who have warmly welcomed us into their lives and I feel so blessed to have formed these friendships that will carry us through a lifetime.
Getting involved in the community has helped too. I've been volunteering since June at the Senior Center, teaching internet and email classes to the seniors in the community. I'm now going to start working there in January, teaching a Creative Writing/Poetry class which I'm really excited about. Was supposed to start in November but they just got new computers so alas...2 more months of computer classes. God, give me patience. But really, I do love it and the "students" have enriched my life in ways I never thought possible.
I'm also freelancing on a couple projects which is another great outlet for staying current in the business world and also maintaining contacts in the tv/film industry. Again I have been very blessed and am grateful to the people who have not given up on me, even though I am no longer living in S. Cal.
My mom had a health scare about a month ago, and thankfully she is doing well. She has now been diagnosed with Diabetes and has to completely change her eating habits but this was another blessing because had she not had the emergency surgery on her intestines, we would have never known about the diabetes. Her doctor just gave her the OK to come out and visit us for Thanksgiving as well as my birthday and we are very happy about this. Tom's mom will be out here too and Tom is running the Seattle marathon on Nov. 29th and we will be there to cheer him on! He ran the Chicago marathon 10 years ago so his mission is to beat his time and qualify for Boston. One minor thing he needs to realize...Seattle has HILLS!!
Anyway, I just wanted to stop and count my blessings today. I'm sitting here, by the fire (since there's no heat), watching the leaves blow and the waves flow to the shore. I've got Wrigs to my right and Chum atop one of the shower curtain covered chairs to my left and right now, life...is really good.
Take care and think about the blessings in your life too.
xoxo
(starting to knit some holiday gifts too. this is Little Blue Bear)
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
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