Friday, July 30, 2010

The nugget

After college, I lived the life of a swinging single for a couple years. I definitely enjoyed my freedoms and took full advantage of casual dating because I was not ready for anything serious.

I was dating this guy who was 10-12 years older than me, we'll call him bi-sexual Bill, because well he was bi-sexual, but I didn't realize that until later in the relationship, I'll get to that another time. So anyway bi-sexual Bill was gorgeous, chisled features, always tan, perfect teeth, great smile. One of the first times I went to his condo I was blown away because he had pictures of himself with high ranking politicians, like for example...President Reagan!?! And several other famous sports figures -Payton, Jordan, Ali, Agassi, and famous actors and actresses, Robert Redford and Whoopi Goldberg were two that I recall. He had an adorable tabby named Peanut and part of the reason I loved hanging out with him was because of his cat. Peanut was a LOVER and a lap cat. I would be covered in cat hair after 5 minutes on the couch but it never bothered me. This particular visit was maybe the 3rd time I had been over and we were watching old black and white movies on the couch of course with Peanut purring on my lap. I started to fall asleep, I hadn't been feeling well, had a horrible sore throat and he said I was welcome to stay over. With that, I headed into his bedroom, fully clothed, and crashed. The next morning I felt worse and had a pretty bad stomach ache. He was still asleep so I tip toed into the bathroom. I tried to be as quiet as possible, even blanketed the toilet bowl in lots of tissues so the plops wouldn't kerplunk in the water. I flushed as soon as I could and ran the water, so in case he woke up maybe he thought I was washing my face. When I was done one "nugget" didn't flush so I flushed again. Now I'm praying he didn't wake up because a double flush is a sure sign of a dump. But now the toilet just filled up with with water as the nugget floated to the top of the bowl. I'm sweating with panic thinking the whole thing's about to blow and water and nugget will flood the floor but then the water stopped right at the rim and stayed there. I'm looking all over the bathroom for something to scoop out the nugget but there was nothing useful. I thought about using toilet paper to reach in grab it and wad it up but then where would I put it? In the kitchen down the garbage disposal??? I remembered we had plastic bags from take out the night before so I closed the lid of the toilet and slowly made my way into the kitchen without waking up the bi-sexual. I grabbed a bag out of the garbage and ran back to the bathroom and quietly closed the door. I gagged as I scooped and then shook all the water out of the bag and wrapped it up into wad, knotted it then tossed it into his empty garbage can. As I looked at it I thought, "What if he gets curious and wants to see what it is? Maybe he'll want to know if it's a feminine product to figure out my cycle and when we'll have sex." Again this was before I realized he wasn't really into women in that way but if he had been curious how does one explain this?? I'd be known for the rest of my life as the girl who wadded up a piece of her own poo and threw it in the garbage. So I grabbed it out of the can, and thought I'd bury it in his kitchen garbage which was almost full. That way if he got curious and looked through there maybe he could blame it on someone else. So as I quietly opened the door there he is standing on the other side smiling, holding out a toothbrush. I realize he must have a stash of them on hand so I thank him and go back into the bathroom with the brush and my bag of poo. He yells that he's going to make coffee and I think great, now I can't sneak into the kitchen and dispose of my bag. I thought about throwing it out the window, but what if a neighbor saw me and got suspicious and went to retrieve it and then came knocking on his door? Then a light bulb went off. Peanut! I could toss my nugget into the cat box and no one (aside from Peanut) would ever know. The litter box was in his office so I had to be sly and not appear to be snooping around. I put the poo in my purse and thought while he's in the kitchen I'll just sneak in there, unknot the bag and toss it in. Of course Peanut was right there by my side as I started fumbling with the bag and the stupid knot wouldn't come undone. I hear the beep for the coffee machine and start to freak so I abandon that whole scheme. Bill's walking down the hall holding our coffees as I come out of his office zipping up my purse, looking like I just stole something. I imagined him saying, "What did you put in your purse?" and then I'd say, "Nothing, nothing" and he'd insist on looking inside and then out pops the poo. Thankfully that didn't happen.

After we drank our coffee, we walked to a little breakfast spot in his neighborhood. After my second cup, before our food arrived, I explained that I had the world's smallest bladder and must hit the restroom again.

Crisis averted.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

My animals

LOVE SUMMER!!!





We live on our deck every night. It's pretty fabulous.

Monday, July 26, 2010

stylish and eco-friendly

I found these adorable reusable water bottles at our local market. There's one for every day of the week which is a great gift idea for a runner/yogi/gym goer, or anyone who still uses disposable water bottles. Or something to get for the office to split up between co-workers. They are a bit feminine but I think that's what I love about them. They have a simple calmness in both color and design, like something you'd see in a spa. They are also very sturdy and dishwasher safe as well as BPA free. I'm drinking out of the sky blue one now and I love looking at it!


Here's a link to check out some other products by Reduce. The measuring spoons and scoops are so cute and would be fun to use.


The site also lists retailers that carry the line which would probably be cheaper because the online shipping is a bit high.

Check it out!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Whitey Herzog

Tonight while watching the Cub's game, the announcers started talking about Whitey Herzog who was just inducted into the baseball hall of fame this past week. Great honor indeed, but that man pisses me off.

When I was little my mom would take me shoe shopping at this cute little shoe store in Lake Forest called The Forest Bootery. When you got your shoes, the salesperson would give you a big bright helium balloon. Helium balloons always made my mom nervous because when she was little she attended a birthday party and one of the boys bit into a helium balloon and when it popped a piece of the balloon got lodged in his windpipe and he died. It was a horrific freak accident but since then my mom has never been a big fan of balloons and didn't like them in the house. So it was kind of a big deal when I finally got to keep my balloon, of course promising I would NEVER bite it or even put it anywhere near my face. And forget about sucking the helium. Had to sneak out of the house to do that.

So here I come bumbling in from shopping with Mom, no more than 4 or 5 years old. I've got the balloon tied around my wrist squealing as it bounces in the air behind me while running around the house. My Dad had some baseball buddies over, Whitey being one of them, and they were swapping stories drinking manhattans and smoking cigars in the den. I can remember exactly where Whitey was sitting, on the ottoman next to the fireplace, when he called me over.



"Hey you! What you got there?" (pointing to my balloon with his cigar)

"It's my balloon."

"Oh come on over here, let me take a look at that."

As I approached he grabbed the string with one hand pulling the balloon between us and with the other, butted the cigar right up to the side of my balloon - and it popped with the loudest bang. It hurt my ears and made me jump.

Of course I burst into tears and ran to my mom screaming "That mean man popped my balloon!" and she tried to her best to comfort me while sharing some choice words and an evil eye with my Dad. After that I wasn't allowed (nor did I WANT) to step foot in the den when his buddies were over. Although, sometimes I would sneak down and hide just outside the room and listen to them talk. They used "bad words" which fascinated me, and at the innocent age of five, I had the vocabulary of a ship wrecked sailor.

I really miss that fucking balloon.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Parent/Child Dynamic in Adulthood


Do you ever call your Mom (or Dad) all excited to share good news and as you're doing so this happens...

"Well, did you say this ----?"

or

"Why didn't you ask this ----?"

or my favorite:

"You should have done this ----."

Kind of takes the wind right outta your sails.


I know the role of a parent is to look out for their children no matter what age we grow up to be but sometimes, it's frustrating when you feel judgement or criticism for things you may have done "wrong" in their eyes, when in fact, they aren't wrong at all - maybe just different from what they would have done. Then why do I second guess myself?!?

Sometimes in these conversations, I need to remind myself that I'm an adult. I've managed to live on my own since 17 (tho I did move home for 10 months after college) but guess what, I'm still here. I purchased our first home at the age of 28 completely on my own solely with my income and credit (at that time Tom still had what I'd call "post college credit") and now 5 homes later, feel like I know a thing or two when it comes to that whole process.

But it's really not about that or any specific situation. It's about feeling the need for approval and then second guessing myself when I don't get it.

Monday, July 19, 2010

the food scene

in 9 1/2 weeks bothers me for 3 reasons:

First, it's messy, especially when she's chugging the milk and it spills all over her face and neck and robe - just gross, and that's got to smell so bad.

Second, though it's a nice effect, it's not good to leave your refrigerator door open that long. Such a waste of energy and the food inside isn't going to stay cold.

And third, anyone who eats all those different random foods would or should have severe stomach issues which would really affect the overall sexiness of the moment.

Anyway, the movie is on now, actually seems to be on quite a bit on indieplex, but whenever I see Mickey I can't help but think that he has plastic surgery remorse. If there is such a thing....





















Oh Mickey. You're not so fine.

such and such

I have a bunch of fun videos to upload but for some sh*t smack reason blogger will not allow me to upload. I've tried a bunch of times using different browsers and I keep getting the same blasted error message. Annoying. But I'll try again later because they are Chum and Wrigs videos and who doesn't want to see those!?!?

So I'm kind of getting sick of having 6 litter boxes in the house for this cat. Actually, no. It's not the amount of litter boxes, it's the fact that 3 of the 6 are placed on top of our living room furniture and you know how sometimes you walk into someone's house and you can just tell they have a cat because you catch a faint whiff of a litter box? Well when you walk into our house it's like we have litter box potpourri simmering on the stove along with litter scented air fresheners plugged into every socket. It's obnoxious and I wish I could take them off the furniture but we know what the repercussions are to that so it's just got to be this way. I love this aging cat, and he's had another scare in the last month actually put him on another round of very strong antibiotics a few weeks ago because he peed on top of the shower curtain on the chair (not even IN the litter box) and the pee was like a thick syrup, rusty brown in color. So the vet called in a prescription to the compounding pharmacy in North Seattle and off we went in rush hour traffic on July 3rd rushing to get there before the pharmacy closed for the weekend. I gave Chum the meds for a few days and then one day he was fighting it soooo bad and I accidentally squirted the liquid on the side of his cheek, thank God it didn't hit him in the eye, because a couple days later all his fur was gone on that side. So that's when I opted not to give him that medicine anymore. Just too potent and I can't even imagine what it's doing to his little esophagus and tummy and intestinal tracts.

Wrigs and I had quite a weekend exploring all sorts of dog friendly events all over town. A new friend of mine owns a yoga studio and actually has developed a class called DOGA where you bring your dog to class. It is not hoky or trendy in a way one would think, or over the top pampering, instead it's about bonding with your dog while you learn to relax and do simple stretches to quiet your mind and heal your body. In fact, she wrote a book about it called Barking Buddha: Simple Soul Stretches for Yogi and Dogi and I recommend it for anyone with a dog who is looking for ways to relax and connect with their pooch on a peaceful level. At the start of class Wrigs was a wild man, running and twisting and sliding all around, he could not control his body, and all the other "dogis" looked at him like, "Who the hell is this maniac?" But by the middle of class he really did settle and there are so many calming movements that relaxed him like the heart to hound pose where you put one hand on your heart and the other on your dog's heart and you breathe together. Wrigs would just stare into my eyes and it was as if our souls were connecting through each breath. It may sound corny to some and that's ok, because if I hadn't experienced the class and just read about it second hand I probably would think the same thing. But for dog lovers it's definitely worth a try. And I'm really not one who enjoys yoga, but incorporating your canine pal makes it a completely different experience and we plan on doing this regularly. Now if only there was something like this to calm kitty cats!

On Sunday Wrigs and I went to a dog friendly wine tasting benefit. How cute is that??? Seattle is the most dog friendly city I've ever lived in and because of that we have met some awesome people through the dogs. Wrigs and I also got our picture taken for the local paper and were interviewed on public access tv about the event.

Here's a pic of Wrigs with his buddy Bailey on the way back from the festival:



There were a ton of local artisans selling their work and I ended up getting a couple great pieces. Of course you'll notice the thing that appealed to me most, based on my purchases:

wall art:



pendant:


And speaking of sunshine our dear friends have returned from spending 7 months in New Zealand and look what they brought back as a souvenir:


Do you think if I wear these 2 pendants together the odds of the sun coming out will double?? I wish. It's been an ok summer, not very consistent in the sunshine department, typically it starts out cloudy and 50 something degrees but then by noon or 1 it burns off and warms up a bit. And so far we've only had 5 days in the 80's or above. And it's not that I prefer it hot hot hot, I'm still just hoping for some back to back days of consistent sunshine because after all, it is summer. At least according to the calendar.

This morning it was so chilly I wore a hat cuz my ears were so cold:



On another note, there are a few stressful situations going on at the senior center. You sort of know going into any type of work with the elderly that there are going to be challenging moments - you expect and prepare yourself for illness, sad stories of loss and the inevitable, death. But I was not prepared for some of the struggles many of these seniors are dealing with now. Stories of abuse from their own family members, mentally ill children who are no longer in their care, cancer and its treatment, a favorite pet who has gone missing - all of these just from last week alone. That's not even including Rose, the homeless woman. It becomes a bit overwhelming because it's hard to hear the stories and not let them emotionally affect you. I'm doing my best to set the boundaries because again, there is not much anyone else can do but listen, and sometimes cry with them and offer a hug. Ok I definitely don't have the mental capacity to delve into all of this right now so I'll stop. On yet another note, Tom's dad is still in the hospital. It's been 6 months now since his stroke and while things have improved from where he was months ago, it's still not great. The diabetes has inhibited the healing process due to the complications around medication and treatment. So that's been a source of stress in Tom's life because we really would have thought that by now things would have been much improved. He hates to see anyone suffer, especially his Dad and it's so hard when there's not much you can do to make things any different.

Ok don't want to end on a heavy note so let me post this pic of Wrigs sleeping.


I love how he gathers all his blankets and favorite things when he sleeps. Sweet little golden hoarder.

Blueberry Crepes

Had to share this recipe for delicious crepes and home made blueberry syrup. I got the crepe recipe from Julia's cookbook but I tweaked it a little. These are great for breakfast, lunch, or even dinner! And would be delicious as a dessert crepe with a little whipped or ice cream.


Crepe Recipe
-3/4 cup milk
-3/4 cup cold water
-3 egg yolks
-1 Tb granulated sugar
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-1 cup flour
-5 Tb melted butter (or oil)
-An electric mixer

Place the ingredients in a bowl in the order they are listed and then blend using an electric mixer at top speed for 1 minute. If bits of flour get stuck to the sides of the bowl scrape with a spatula and blend a few more seconds. Cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours or overnight. Cook on a non stick pan with a small amount of oil rubbed in with paper towel. Make them as thin as possible!

Blueberry syrup (or jam) recipe
-lots of blueberries
-sugar
-fresh squeezed orange juice from one orange

Wash and unstem the berries then pour into a food processor and puree. Pour into a sauce pan with some sugar and fresh squeezed orange juice and heat over medium heat for about 20 minutes. (can use lemon juice too if you want the syrup tart). Stir together then pour through a strainer into jar. I've made this twice and the second time I didn't strain the sauce so it's a bit more like jam. Either way is really tasty.

Crepe cooking on the skillet:



See how thin they are? I think I see the face of Jesus in this one:



Topped off with some syrup:

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Hissing Wrigs

Wrigley snatched Chum's bear and would not give it up. When I tried to get it from him here's what he did...

video

I mean really. Where in the world would this dog have learned to make that face???


Anyway.


Doesn't look like he'll be giving him back anytime soon.

Monday, July 12, 2010

remember this???

1, 2, 3 song

I thought of this song randomly today so I youtubed "sesame street 1 2 3 song" and found the clip.

What sucks is that I haven't been able to get this tune (and the 1, 2, 3's) out of my head.

And as I sit here typing this out, another lovely jingle is now occupying acoustical space between my ears.

Dumb stupid number songs.